Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Paris Remains in Revolt!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax – Lead Correspondent
For the 5th day in a row, riots continue to flourish in Paris; the capital of the so-called mighty French Republic is anything but strong. Some fear the violence may soon resemble that of those who revolted in 1848, or even 1789. All of this, over students and a dancer.
It began five days ago when some students from a local academy were partying at the Moulin Rouge, celebrating an annual masked ball. Police had grown wary of these events, and to look strong, local officials decided to arrest some of the students and the dancers. In particular, one woman who went by the name Sarah Brown was described as nearly nude.
Students did not take this well and began fighting back. In the confusion, someone threw glass or something similar at a student named Antoine-Felix Nuger. His throat was cut, and he died. His death is what has triggered these days of rage, which has consumed city blocks, buildings, and led to the arrest of hundreds.
As of this writing, the rioting shows no end in sight. The students demand compensation for Nuger’s death and a plea for the police to not harass them or dancers. The prefect in charge, Henri-Auguste Lozé, refuses to apologize, but the eyes of the world are upon him, and it seems unlikely he will remain steady forever. We shall continue to watch on, as everyone else, and hope a compromise can be reached.
Skull mask wearing women terrorize New Austin travelers amid mysterious dust storms
By Jose Chavez
A most unsettling series of attacks has stirred fear among travelers throughout New Austin, where two mysterious women, each reportedly wearing a frightening skull mask, have been accused of ambushing caravans, lone riders, and even well guarded parties upon the open roads. Accounts gathered from shaken survivors describe a remarkably similar sequence of events: an otherwise ordinary journey is interrupted by a sudden and violent dust storm, reducing visibility to scarcely a few feet. Then the two masked assailants emerge from the swirling sand and descend upon their unfortunate victims. Several witnesses insist the storms appear without warning, even beneath clear skies, and vanish almost as abruptly once the women have completed their attacks. One frightened wagon driver described the pair as “devils wearing the faces of the dead,” while another claimed that his armed escorts were overwhelmed before they could properly identify their attackers.
Such testimony has encouraged considerable speculation regarding the women’s origins, with some residents suggesting witchcraft or other unnatural powers may be responsible for the strange weather accompanying their appearances. Others have gone so far as to question whether the masked figures are human at all. Authorities, however, have expressed considerable skepticism toward these more extraordinary claims, cautioning that New Austin is no stranger to sudden dust storms and that terrified survivors may easily mistake ordinary desert weather for supernatural intervention. No evidence presently establishes any connection between the women and the storms, nor have investigators determined their identities or motives.
Revelry atop Mount Hagen ends in catastrophe as avalanche claims dozens
By Caylen V. Hornby
A calamity has befallen the heights of Mount Hagen, where what began as an inexplicable gathering of merrymakers upon the snowbound summit ended in the apparent deaths of dozens of cowpokes beneath a tremendous avalanche. For reasons that remain entirely unknown, a considerable number of individuals made the arduous ascent to the mountain’s peak, arriving throughout the day in such numbers that what might ordinarily have constituted a modest gathering soon developed into a celebration of extraordinary proportions. Travelers and residents at the mountain’s base reported observing flickering flames at the peak. As the festivities progressed, however, the assembled company apparently abandoned whatever restraint they had brought with them, and the consumption of liquor gave way to a most ill advised exhibition of firearms.
Witnesses reported hearing repeated volleys of gunfire from the summit, though if they were shooting at each other or recklessly in the air is unclear. This reckless entertainment continued until the mountain itself appeared to answer their celebration. A tremendous rumbling was heard, followed by a violent shifting of snow along the upper slopes, whereupon an immense mass of accumulated ice and powder broke loose and descended with terrifying speed. The avalanche swept across the summit’s gathering place, extinguishing its fires and carrying the unfortunate revelers down the mountainside beneath countless tons of snow. Subsequent efforts to locate survivors have yielded nothing, with searchers finding neither living participants nor any indication that a member of the gathering escaped the mountain’s fury.
Barroom brawl erupts in Blackwater Saloon as four patrons overwhelm drunken aggressors
By Odell Clifton
A lively evening at the Blackwater Saloon descended into a spectacle of flying fists, overturned furniture, and frightened patrons when a band of drunken troublemakers decided to confront four cowpokes who had entered the establishment seeking, by all appearances, nothing more than an ordinary evening’s refreshment. According to several witnesses, the four newcomers, consisting of three men and one woman, had scarcely settled into the establishment before attracting the unwanted attention of a group of heavily intoxicated gentlemen who were eager to provoke a fight. What began as an exchange of unpleasant remarks soon erupted into a full fledged barroom brawl, sending chairs flying across the saloon and innocent customers scrambling toward the exits. One patron described the commotion as so sudden and violent that several drinks were abandoned and hats left to the fate of the wild brawl. Witnesses unanimously agreed that the posse of four demonstrated considerable prowess in the noble, if regrettably necessary, art of settling disputes with their fists They dispatched the belligerents with an efficiency that left little doubt as to who had made the wiser preparations for the evening.
The victorious posse then settled down and enjoyed a few drinks. The first round was paid for by the saloon’s operator for dispatching the rowdy drunks. The second round was paid for by returning patrons, who were pleased to return to their previously abandoned drinks. At least those that were not disturbed by the melee.
Cowpoke shoots contest promoter dead following dispute over gold nuggets
By Emery Cosberry
A most peculiar killing has left the citizens of Valentine questioning the wisdom of encouraging athletic pursuits, after a cowpoke who nearly ran himself into an early grave succeeded instead in sending another fellow to his. The trouble began when the exhausted rider collapsed upon reaching the outskirts of Valentine, where concerned townsfolk discovered him lying in the dirt and promptly carried him to the local physician for treatment. After some hours of rest, the cowpoke regained consciousness and immediately sought out a gentleman who had reportedly advertised a contest promising a quantity of gold nuggets to any individual capable of running a considerable distance. The recovering contestant, evidently believing himself entitled to the reward, confronted the promoter and demanded his winnings, only to receive a rather unfortunate explanation.
“You walked the last mile, you did not run, and then you collapsed,” the promoter declared, “and now it’s a new day, that challenge has passed.” This interpretation of the contest’s rules was evidently not well received. Without further argument, the cowpoke produced a pistol and shot the promoter squarely in the chest, killing him where he stood. Witnesses report that the assailant then calmly searched the dead man’s belongings, removed precisely the quantity of gold nuggets he believed himself owed, and departed on horseback without troubling himself to collect the hundreds of dollars in additional money and valuables remaining upon the corpse. Local authorities are now confronted with the rather unusual task of apprehending a murderer who appears to have been motivated less by greed than by an exceptionally rigid understanding of a sporting agreement.
Crab hunt descends into gunfire as cowpokes battle over island
By Mathilde Orry
How many cowpokes can one small island accommodate before somebody reaches for a revolver? Not nearly as many as there are crabs, it would seem, judging by the extraordinary disturbance reported this week upon a small island in Flat Iron Lake, situated off the Lemoyne coast near Rhodes. The island, reputed to be the only place throughout the Five States where a determined fisherman might lay hands upon a crab, has lately attracted an unusual congregation of cowpokes seeking the elusive crustaceans. Some arrived by boat, while others, apparently unwilling to let the absence of a vessel interfere with their ambitions, simply plunged into the lake and swam ashore. What began as a curious gathering of fishermen soon deteriorated into a bitter contest as the island’s limited shores became crowded with armed visitors not eager to share the limited crabs with each other.
Tempers rose, accusations were exchanged, and before long the peaceful business of hunting shellfish had given way to a Five States classic: a gunfight. Residents along the Rhodes waterfront reported hearing repeated gunshots carrying across the lake, prompting local deputies to establish positions along the shoreline from which they could observe the commotion. Despite the disturbance, however, authorities have declined to intervene directly, maintaining that the island lies beyond their jurisdiction and that any bloodshed occurring upon its shores is consequently outside their immediate responsibility. One might reasonably question the wisdom of allowing armed men to wage a private war within earshot of Rhodes merely because the offending patch of sand falls beyond a convenient boundary, but such questions appear unlikely to trouble the authorities.
Federal investigators probe suspected fraudulent gun ring across the Five States
By Adam Parvey
Federal investigators have commenced an inquiry into what is feared to be a widespread trade in fraudulent firearms, following an increasing number of complaints from citizens throughout the Five States who claim to have purchased weapons ranging from dangerously defective to entirely useless. Reports originating in New Hanover, Lemoyne, West Elizabeth, and New Austin describe firearms sold as genuine guns by merchants and traveling salesmen, only for their purchasers to discover that the weapons were of extraordinarily poor construction, frequently breaking apart after only modest use. In several instances, buyers have reported revolvers whose mechanisms failed after discharging merely a handful of cartridges, while others have complained of rifles with improperly fitted components, defective firing mechanisms, and barrels unsuitable for safe operation. More extraordinary still are accounts of weapons possessing no working mechanisms whatsoever, including one particularly brazen imitation revolver discovered to have been fashioned almost entirely from wood, painted and ornamented in such a manner as to resemble a genuine firearm when viewed from a distance. A photograph of this remarkable counterfeit accompanies this report, serving as an illustration of the astonishing lengths to which these swindlers appear willing to go in pursuit of an unsuspecting purchaser’s money. The matter has attracted the attention of federal authorities, who are now attempting to establish whether the fraudulent weapons originate from a single organized enterprise or from several unrelated manufacturers and confidence men operating independently throughout the territories.
