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To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Missing man found hogtied on the side of the road
By Adam Parvey
Early this week a cowpoke came into Saint Denis and reported that their associate was missing. When their associate had not set camp, they became worried. When they were unable to locate their associate they went to the police. “Finding missing persons is not easy,” said Benjamin Lambert, Chief of Police. “But more than anything it’s about resources. Folks come to us because we have men all over the city and even around the bayou.” After filing a report and paying a modest processing fee, the police distributed a description of the missing person. Only two days after the distribution of the missing man’s description, he was found.
The man was found hogtied and unconscious on the side of the rode in the northern area of Bayou Nwa. When the man awoke at the Saint Denis doctor he was quite shocked and could not explain how he had found himself hogtied and unconscious. The Saint Denis doctor performed a thorough examination and found the man to be “in mostly good health, though he could certainly use a better diet.” The cowpoke who had been searching for his associate picked him up at the doctor, where he paid a $4.00 fee for services rendered. “I don’t know who would attack my partner, but I don’t appreciate it,” the cowpoke said as he left the doctor’s office. The cowpoke ordered their associate to set a camp in Big Valley, “the northern end dammit,” he muttered, before riding toward the train station.
Customer complains of short train stops in Armadillo
By Wylie Frey
A gentleman who had business in Armadillo was upset when he missed his train. Mr. Abel W. Beesman had arrived in Armadillo only hours before his planned departure. He was assessing the town to determine the value of any personal investment he may make in reviving the town from the brink of death. “It did not take long to figure out that this place is… well, in a word, decrepit.” Mr. Beesman said. “However, a visionary such as myself can easily see the value of a small investment now.” Mr. Beesman headed to the Armadillo saloon, where the alcohol is one of the few things one can consume safely in the town. He was “part way” into a bottle of whiskey when the train arrived. “I did not rush because men of my status do not rush. And I had no idea the train’s stop would be so short!” Indeed, the train stops in Armadillo for only a few minutes.
A typical stop elsewhere in the Five States lasts several minutes, giving time for passengers to board and cargo to be loaded. I reached out to the Brotherhood of the Five States Eagle-Eyes, a workers’ union which protects the interests of train engineers, to ask why train stops in Armadillo are so short. “The stops in Armadillo comply with our Brotherhood’s stated minimum time for a train to stop for boarding. Longer stops are at the discretion of the engineer, who may wait longer if they deem it necessary. Given the lack of travel activity to and from Armadillo, no engineer sees long stops as necessary.” Mr. Beesman is unlikely to be satisfied by that response. He was prepared when the train came back around, choosing to board it and ride it through west New Austin rather than wait any longer in Armadillo.
Man goes on path of vengeance when denied a rare flower
By Alois Burditt
A collector headed to Rio Bravo in search flower called the Agarita. The rare flower is used in various medicinal recipes and alcohols. Its rarity is due to two factors. First, the flower only grows in a few areas and second, it only blooms at night. The collector in question was equipped with this knowledge and had set out to search for the flower just as darkness fell upon the New Austin desert. Using a pair of refined binoculars, the collector spotted the rare flower, however, when they neared the plant a posse of cowpokes arrived to provide the collector unexpected grief. “They set upon me and I had to take cover. Every time I moved out of cover they fired,” the collector said.
As the minutes passed, the darkness became absolute. The Agarita flower an arm’s reach away. “I watched the dark turn to light again and knew my prize had been denied to me,” the collector said. As the morning sun blazed across the sky, the collector heard the attackers gallop away, their work apparently done. However, the collector’s work was not. As they told it, they cleaned their Volcanic pistols and and Lancaster repeating rifle, all of which were limited editions, and went on the hunt. The group was easy to track according to the collector. “The villains were harassing another poor soul driving a wagon. They didn’t see me coming,” the collector said. Their first shot was from horseback and killed one of the men immediately with a headshot. The collector dismounted and tossed their repeating rifle over their shoulder as they pulled out their dual Volcanic pistols and began aiming and firing them one at a time. As he aimed with one, he swung the other forward to load the next bullet. In moments, the attackers were all down but one man, who began screaming, “parlay! parlay!” The collector aimed his pistol and fired it inches away from the surviving cowpoke’s head and sent him running on his way.
If you are reading this and wondering how it can possibly be true and if it is just the ramblings of a madman or maybe even an exaggeration, you are not alone. I thought the same. Though I cannot verify every part of the story the collector told me, I did come across a man in the Tumbleweed saloon who was shaken up. He muttered to himself, “collectors ain’t supposed to know how to fight… they’re all dead… dammit.” The barkeep said the man usually drank with friends, who who may be the dead ones he mentioned. It appears that the collector’s story is more true than we may believe.
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Gunfight in West Grizzlies
By Caylen V. Hornby
Two men who had been fishing at Lake Isabella reported a gun fight that started near Mount Hagen and ended west of Deadboot Creek. Upon investigation, it was discovered that a man was in the area awaiting a bounty target to be transferred to his possession when the fight broke out. A pair of cowpokes attacked a bounty hunter, but were forced into retreat when the bounty hunter’s posse arrived. After transferring the target over, the bounty hunters pursued the retreating attackers north, where the fishermen saw the fight. “Two fellas were on the run, riding their horses hard. They were being chased by three others riding even harder,” said one of the fisherman.
After the commotion, the men returned to fishing, though they reported that the sound of gunfire went on for a “very long time.” No other witnesses reported seeing anything else. Following the trail was easy in the snow. Two bodies were found in an abandoned house in Grizzlies West the trail ended. The bodies were taken to Strawberry, where the local doctor determined one of the men had been killed by an explosion, likely dynamite. The other was already dead before the explosion. That man likely suffocated, as his lungs were found to be coated on the inside with a green-yellowish substance that had a faint alcohol like smell.
The two dead men were not identified, nor were the three bounty hunters they got into a fight with. “I don’t take names most times, just the bounty and the poster,” said the guard who took the prisoner away.
Wallace Station bounty board unusable
By Daisy Fairman
Bounty hunters in West Elizabeth have been frustrated by the way bounty posters are applied to the Wallace Station bounty board. Normally, posters are pasted onto the board at the top of the poster, enabling a bounty hunter to pull the poster and move on. The posters are required for a bounty hunter to receive payment and to avoid being punished by lawmen who are not acquainted with every legal bounty target in the Five States. At the Wallace Station bounty board, posters are pasted completely to the board. As a result, when the poster is pulled it rips into pieces, invalidating it as a legal writ. The BHTC has stated that they are looking into this problem and why the posters are being pasted in a way that makes them unable to be pulled from the board. Until the problem is resolved, many bounty hunters are staying away from the board altogether.
“I just stay away from the northern area of West Elizabeth, too many problems,” said one bounty hunter I spoke to. Recently the Strawberry sheriff and pulled the bounty board entirely in protest of the mayor. However, some have also said the posters are sometimes unable to be removed from the Strawberry bounty board even when it is up. A deputy in Strawberry believes a Strawberry resident could be responsible. “Probably a kid having fun, just messing with folks after the posters are put up,” said the deputy. Whether this is true or not is irrelevant to many who see this problem as allowing wanted men to go free. “It’s like winning a big pot for outlaws, right? They can’t be captured if their poster can’t be taken,” said another bounty hunter before he smiled. “But I don’t need a poster to kill an outlaw, do I?”
Infamous Arms Dealer Spotted in Five States
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Freelancer)
It is well that war is so terrible; otherwise we should grow too fond of it, said the infamous leader of the Confederacy. Well, almost 30 years since he died, there is one man in the world who stands in complete contrast to that statement. A man who sees war as a profit, not a tragedy. A man who makes money even as Americans lose there lives as we speak. His name is Basil Zaharoff, he is an arms dealer, and he is well known as the Merchant of Death.
His origins are mysterious, to say the least. Many files on him simply don’t exist; we know he was born in Greece and may have worked as an arsonist for local fire departments. He eventually left Greece and worked various jobs, including working as a wandering snake oil salesman. A man named Nigel West Dickens is said to have been his assistant at one point. He eventually found his footing in the lucrative arms industry, selling firearms, ammunition, and even vehicles such as submarines.
His underhanded techniques are almost legendary; he sabotaged the original Maxim automatic firearm demonstration with sand because it was a rival company. A company he soon bought out, if you see a Maxim gun, it was likely made by Zaharoff’s company. If you’ve read about a European nation buying a submarine only for it to sink, it also probably came from the Machiavellian prince of death.
Times of war is his favorite season. It was recently reported that he sold several tons of ammunition to both Spain and the US, although it should be noted that the Spanish rounds were of low quality. This is likely why he has been spotted in the Five State Area. It’s safe to assume he was peddling some new type of weapon to the troops at Fort Wallace or the many gunsmiths.
Many people of high morality have questioned why such a man profits from such a sinful industry. He always responds with a simple answer, often said with a large grin.
“I didn’t tell people to kill each other with my products. I merely suggested its wise to be safe in case of warfare. What they do with it afterward is none of my concern.”
Gang hideout attacked, cowpoke flees other attackers
By Emery Cosberry
A cowpoke reported coming across a posse of three attacking a gang on the northern coast of Flat Iron Lake. Though the posse did not appear to need help, the cowpoke decided to pitch in anyway. Once the fight was over the cowpoke decided to take part in the spoils of war, but one of the members of the posse threw a bolas at them and hogtied them. “To be fair, he did fire a warning shot and I ignored it,” the cowpoke said. The man who hogtied them then untied them, but held their bolas at the ready. “I figured I could have killed him before he threw that bolas, but his friends would have gotten me for sure, so I left.” The cowpoke rode up to Valentine, where they relayed this story to locals and myself. While this story is tamer than most in the Five States, it does reveal that even helping others comes with risks.
Lost Patrol of Fort Wallace
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Freelancer)
Although the war with Spain rages on, not all US soldiers are fighting it. Some are stationed in various forts across the United States. Some keep the peace, some are intended to watch over Indian tribes, and some are just reserved soldiers. Fort Wallace is all three, and they have hardly had a spotless record. That record took another blow this week when an entire patrol of ten men failed to return.
The search is still ongoing, but the Cumberland Forrest is easy to get lost in, and many assume the worst. At best, these men simply deserted, which has been a documented problem with Fort Wallace. But many are assuming it was foul play; the question is really by who. The fort commander, a colonel Henry Favors, suspects it was the local Wapiti Indians.
“It’s evident that the savages want to fight us. This was undoubtedly an act of war, and we will respond in force whenever we get the go-ahead from higher up!”
Others suspect the Wapiti people had nothing to do with this. A lower-ranking officer by the name of Lyndon Monroe suspects it was an opportunistic attack and not ideological.
“I strongly doubt it was the Wapiti; they know an attack like that would result in a village massacre. The fort is not that far from Valentine, and I’ve seen the types of people who frequent that place. It might have been a group of outlaws, a couple of the recruits did recently receive their monthly payroll. Could have been anyone really, Smoking Gun, Myra Rose Hart, or some new criminal looking to make a name. I only hope high command sees this for what it is, and not what they want it to be.”
The search is expected to last a few more days. If not found, then the men are expected to be declared dead in absentia. Death awaits all men of war, even those who never witness the battlefield it would seem.
Failed assassination in the bayou
By Aloysius Levron
Distinguished bounty hunters Nathaniel Cross and Akanowa barely survived an assassination attempt this week. The pair were camped out in the bayou, southwest of Saint Denis when the assassin came upon them. Akanowa’s dog began to growl while looking out into the bayou, alerting the bounty hunters of the attacker. A traveler was riding by when they saw the attacking cowpoke dismount from their horse with a rifle in hand. “I knew something was up so I just urged my horse to get, and it got,” the witness said. He did not look back but heard a few gunshots, which only motivated him to ride faster. “Weren’t too many shots, but I heard ’em and knew I was right, something was definitely up!” The traveler reported what he saw, but as the incident was outside their jurisdiction, the Saint Denis police took no action. The details were only learned later when Cross and Akanowa rode into Saint Denis with a corpse on one of their horses.
Authorities were alarmed when they learned that there was no legal bounty for the dead man. However, they believed their story that they were attacked on account of both Cross and Akanowa being in good standing and considered to be of high moral character. The body was delivered to the police who agreed to dispose of it. According to Cross, he got a shot off into the man’s shoulder. The attacker dropped his gun and fell into the bayou mud before Cross and Akanowa set upon him. According to Cross, the man said Anthony Foreman ordered the hit. However, Akanowa ended the would be assassin’s life with a tomahawk to the skull. As a result, the man’s testimony is inadmissible in the court as hearsay. Whatever reason someone has to target Cross and Akanowa, this may be a warning: they will not go down easy.
Small trail blocked by wagon when trader chooses poor route
By Jane Duran
A group of travelers on a ride through the Grizzlies had their trip come to a sudden halt. A large trade wagon had been found crashed and abandoned on a narrow, cliff-side road. “Not sure what inspired a fella to do such a thing, but it didn’t work out well.” A horse was several feet below, having fallen to its death. Though it appeared that some goods had likely been taken, there was still a lot left behind. “We loaded our horses with what we could, then road back up a ways in the direction we came,” said on of the travelers. realizing that the wagon would be a problem until someone moved it, the group took it upon themselves to move the wagon.
“Wasn’t much, just a couple sticks of dynamite to break it up and dislodge it.” The wagon was successfully removed from the road, clearing the path for others. There was no sign of the wagon owners, nor did anybody show up while the travelers were going through the goods or blowing the wagon off the road.
Large national bakery emerges from decades of small bakeries merging
By Frederick Vannesse
William Moore, Adolphus Green, and John G. Zellar have spent the last several years buying small bakeries and bringing them under their own respective control. This year the three titans of the baking industry have decided to unite their empires and form the National Baking Company. The company produces a variety baked snacks from cookies to crackers. Under a national brand identity, the titans of baking promise a standard of quality never before experienced by consumers.
Guarma occupied by U.S. Forces
By Ivy Seager
The Spanish-American war has continued to escalate in Cuba and the surrounding islands. Guarma was recently laid siege to, which made the island nation vulnerable to attacking ground forces. U.S. forces made landfall after a week of bombardment of the islands harbors and coastal cities. Senator Thaddues Waxman, fresh off his victory over Willy Wilson in a boxing match, returned to the area to lead the Rugged Riders in Guarma. The Spanish defenders initially held the attackers off, however Waxman’s Rugged Riders broke the defensive line late in the day, causing the rest of the soldiers to break ranks and retreat. The U.S. claims they now occupy the island completely and will restore independence once the war is over.
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