Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Missing butchers across the Five States
By Frederick Vannesse
Butchers in all five states left their posts for an entire day this week in an unplanned strike. Many residents of the Five States were shocked and frustrated when they arrived in town to sell materials only to learn the butchers were gone. “I don’t visit the butcher often, but I had a fish I needed to sell. It was taking up space in my wagon,” said one cowpoke who was frustrated. Her story was not so rare, as many cowpokes across the region have chosen to sell materials in bulk rather than in small amounts to the butcher. “Sourcing meat ain’t cheap. Hunters coming into a town gave me the opportunity to buy fresh meat at bargain prices!” said one butcher I spoke to after he returned to town.
Officials in the federal government are worried that this is a sign that communism is infiltrating the U.S.. “Communists do not believe in work, as you saw with this butchers’ strike,” said Senator Raymond McCarthy. He continued, “the other Senators and I do not want such a lazy attitude to spread in America. Let the Europeans be lazy if they wish. In America, we work hard!” Local legislators representing the Five States were also frustrated with the butchers’ strike but were not so quick to blame communists. For what it is worth, none of the butchers I spoke to mentioned communism.
Upon returning to their shops, many butchers realized they made a major mistake. They left their posts to join the impromptu strike and in their haste, left their products on display. Many of the butchers were robbed of these displayed goods. “I regret not packing everything away properly. Maybe I regret the lack of preparation. But I don’t regret the strike,” said the Valentine butcher. Cowpokes were happy to see the butchers return to work and many have promised to see the butcher more often. The BHTC has promised that it will include incentives to sell materials to the butcher in its gold nugget rewards program.
Gunfight in Tumbleweed ends by tomahawk
By Alois Burditt
Tumbleweed played host to a gunfight between several cowpokes early this week. Three bounty hunters were attacked right after taking a bounty poster from the board. The three quickly scattered in different directions, one riding north alone while the other two focused on the attackers in town. Lawmen in Tumbleweed were also pursuing the attackers at the time. The two bounty hunters easily put the attackers down according to witnesses. However, the gunfighting was not over.
Another cowpoke rode into Tumbleweed with their guns blazing, putting the bounty hunters on the defensive again. The third bounty hunter arrived back in town soon after with the bounty target on his horse. Once the target was secured in the Tumbleweed jail, he joined the other bounty hunters in the gunfight. The third bounty hunter’s horse was wounded in the gunfight, but still managed to keep running after the bounty hunter lasso’d the attacked and dragged him several feet. When the attacker got loose, the second bounty hunter subdued him with a bolas before hogtying him. While the two men stood over the hogtied attacker, the first bounty hunter rejoined them. She ended the fight with a tomahawk to the attacker’s skull. The Tumbleweed lawmen looked the other way.
Standoff in Thieves Landing
By Wylie Frey
As federal revenue agents struggle to fight back against moonshiners and U.S. Marshals are spread thin over largely lawless territories, the New Austin Rangers have stepped up to enforce the law in their state. What began with modest guarding of roads has turned into a mission to purge the state of outlaws. The Rangers headed to the eastern most portion of the state to confront residents in Thieves Landing. The small settlement is known to draw all manner of outlaws, especially Del Lobo gang members. The Rangers learned quickly, however, that not everyone in Thieves Landing is an outlaw but they are all armed. In the end, the Rangers opted to avoid a bloody gun battle and left, merely offering a warning to Thieves Landing residents that they would be back.
Train passing through Grizzlies nearly captured by outlaws
By Jane Duran
A well coordinated and well financed attack on a train took place in the Grizzlies East. The train was owned by the Central Union Railroad Company, who has refused to release any specific information regarding the train’s cargo, only alluding to miscellaneous trade goods. However, I have it on good authority that the “miscellaneous trade goods” were a cover for more valuable items. “Central Union can’t afford to hire the amount of guards this package required and, secrecy was unfortunately not an option,” my informant said. “So the company offered cargo space on the train to folks in exchange for their assistance as temporary guards.”
Transporting goods via train is not cheap but is quicker and often safer than by wagon. If my informant is correct, Central Union uses a wise strategy to get extra guards by cutting down the costs of transportation. It is well known that while the Five States is not full of rich folks, it is full of folks who are deadly with a gun and Central Union Railroad company has figured out how to exploit that fact. The outlaws beset the train throughout its journey and a number of the defenders were killed. “They had the advantage in many cases, having the high ground and being in the woods and such,” said one defending cowpoke. The train arrived in Saint Denis with its cargo intact, where a very wealthy man boarded it with a large escort of armed guards.
Are you awakened by strange noises in the middle of the night? Do you experience dread when criminals hide in your basement or attic? Have you or your family ever seen a criminal or crime? If the answer is yes, don’t wait another minute. Get to your nearest telegraph to contact the professionals at the Herald today! Our courteous and efficient staff is ready receive your telegram 24 hours a day! No matter how unbelievable the story, we’re ready to believe you!
Great Plains Sniper kills new head of Bureau of Revenue
By Nick McCrary
The Bureau of Revenue finally announced a replacement for Reed Hixon, the former head of the Bureau who was killed several weeks ago. To restore faith and confidence in the Bureau’s authority, the announcement was held in Blackwater, a town in the region “protected” by the Great Plains Sniper. While revenue agents have been attacked all over the Five States, the Great Plains Sniper has ensured that revenue agents in the Great Plains have been hit the hardest. The Sniper was referenced specifically during the announcement when Hixon’s replacement, Special Agent Benjamin Auguste Bloom said, “Our resolve will remain unshaken. We will not cower from outlaws. The Great Plains Sniper is not to be feared. He is a deviant who will be brought to justice!” Moments later a gunshot was heard and Mr. Bloom fell to the ground with a large hole in his head.
Residents who came to hear the announcement calmly walked away and went about their business. Shots continued to ring loudly across the town as revenue agents fell left and right. One man, who looked as if he were drunk, look out into the Great Plains and raised his bottle of alcohol as if to cheer on the Great Plains Sniper. Revenue agents were forced to take cover or flee north into New Hanover. Blackwater police made minimal efforts to assist the escaping agents. “We are men of law, but we don’t want unnecessary issue with locals. We will enforce local laws but we will leave it up to the federal bureaus to enforce federal laws. And from I saw, no locals were harmed.” The Bureau of Revenue did not respond for this article, however, an informant has stated the Bureau is considering hazard pay for agents stationed in the Great Plains.
Cornwall faces new enemy in a Long Black Veil
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Freelancer)
Leviticus Cornwall is, by all accounts, the most powerful man in the United States. The legendary tycoon controls both the railroad and oil industries. Rumored to have been the key reason Alfred McAlister won his election, he easily eclipses his rival titans of industry like Luthor Covington and JD McKnight. The kingmaker rules with an iron fist, often bragging about preferring to have no rivals. Well, as of this week, he has just that, and she is not one to back down.
Her name is Abigail Meredith Tremaine, a Cornish woman ironically from Cornwall England. She was the wife of Francis Booth, the president of the Pacific Union Railroad Company, until Tuesday night when he passed away from tuberculosis. Known as the Iron American, Booth was an infamous finance king, who, among other things, was suspected of killing President Lincoln. He went from Wall-street titan to buying Pacific Union after the Panic of 1893 destroyed the company.
While a well-hated figure in various tabloid papers, rumors always swirled that Abigail was the real power behind the throne. Well known for her black clothing and veiled hat, the so-called Lady Tremaine has cut quite the fearsome reputation. Like her husband, Tremaine worked in finance, an industry not renowned for employing women. Famously she earned the nickname Bloody Mary after using an ax to kill a pig sent to her place of business as a joke.
After her husband bought Pacific Union, she was given a seat on the board of directors, a move that confused many, but none dared speak out against a woman who is alleged to have stabbed her sister to death. Now that Booth is six feet under, nobody objected to her becoming president of the company.
Mr. Cornwall refused to comment on his next enemy. He has, for quite a few years, tried to buy out Pacific Union, and that prospect seems very unlikely with this turn of events. We are likely to see many clashes between Tremaine and Cornwall over the coming years. Whether Cornwall will bury another foe or if this English woman can smite a giant, one can only speculate.
Robbery at the Heartland Oil Fields
By Emery Cosberry
Workers at the Heartland Oil Field were robbed this week by three masked riders. The workers had gathered supplies and were on break when the riders approached. It is not uncommon for folks to ride into the area, and masks are not entirely uncommon either. As a result, the workers did not notice what was happening until it was too late. The three masked riders dismounted and subdued the workers in short order without using guns. Most of the workers were knocked out, however one was hogtied and left conscious through the entire ordeal. “I saw them knock out the others and I pulled out my gun, but that son of bitch through something at me and got me all tangled up,” the man said.
The three riders took one bag of supplies each and took off riding west. A few workers arrived after the robbers left and tried to pursue. However, they were unable to catch up to the robbers or find their trail. None of the workers could recall any details about the attackers or their horses. All but one have fully recovered. The one still recovering is reportedly having trouble with his speech. Leviticus Cornwall, who owns the oil field and employs these workers, has stated that he is not responsible for the attack. A spokesman said, “Mr. Cornwall is happy to take care of workers who have had an accident on the job. This however, was not an accident, but an attack. Mr. Cornwall could not have foreseen nor prevented such a thing, and as a result, shoulders none of the burden.”
Man takes swim in Elysian Pool to get “super powers”
By Van R. Seldon
A man is recovering in Saint Denis after a long swim in the poisoned Elysian Pool. The man said he had read accounts of the pond being poisoned and that he “got the notion that if these animals are surviving, then I can survive too. And maybe I’d get stronger as my body fought the poison. Maybe get super powers, like be super strong.” Medical scientists say that there is no evidence that poisoned bodies of water will give someone super powers. There is, they say, evidence that swimming in poisoned bodies of water is bad for your health. The man was found on the floor near the Elysian Pool, barely conscious and barely breathing by a trader on their way to Van Horn.
The trader was able to force water out of the man’s lungs, which improved his breathing significantly. He put the man on his wagon and brought him to the town as well. Upon completing their sell, the trader was able to focus on helping the man. He was unable to ride a horse, so the trader paid for a coach to take the man to Saint Denis where he is now being cared for. It is said the man’s health is improving and that he may recover.
Collector has run in with ex-Confederate soldier at Bolger Glade
By Mathilde Orry
A collector was one of many who came to Bolger Glade this week, incentivized by the BHTC’s gold nugget reward program. Cowpokes who visited the old battlefield were given gold nuggets. The collector decided to look around for artifacts while they were there. However, an old ex-Confederate took issue with many of the visitors and the collector in particular. He appeared to not be pleased by the land he “spilled blood on,” being pilfered by “those who don’t know nothin’ ’bout war!” The ex-Confederate drew his pistol, but his old Griswold & Gunnison revolver misfired. The collector knocked the old man out with a single punch and went on with their business of looking for artifacts after taking a bottle of Absinthe from the old man’s possessions.
Saint-Denis Art Gallery Receives an Outlaws Legacy of Ashes
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Freelancer)
The Galerie Laurent art gallery in Saint-Denis received a unique gift this week. A large package was discovered on the gallery’s front step. Inside the box was a massive painting of a woman everyone instantly recognized. It was a painting of the Black Rose outlaw Myra Rose Hart. Along with the painting came a letter, addressed to the curator.
“To whom it may concern. You call me the White Banshee or she-devil as insults, I take them as compliments for it only gives my legacy strength. But I am not a silly girl; I know full well that one day I will be nothing but dirt. My legacy will not be of a woman who built, but rather one who destroyed—a legacy of ashes. I have seen the legacies my dying breed has left behind, just names on crosses, I desire something better than that. I have seen the legacy of the Indians, names that live on but often without an image. A face lost in the winds of time. Above all else, I want people to look into the abyss, and for me to gaze forever back. When the lord has taken us all, my image will remain. la vie d’une rose as you people say, Life of a Rose.”
It did not take long for the painter to be discovered; she is a local Saint-Denis artist who will be identified as Miss Greene. She had been paid for the last couple weeks to capture the image of the cruel and wicked heiress. Unlike most people who interact with Myra, she was spared any hardship, outside of the high society scorn she is likely to receive now.
There is already controversy as to what should be done with Life of a Rose. Some argue it should be burned, outlaws and criminals deserve no legacy. Others say it should be preserved, so that this beak period in American History is never forgotten.
Population of the Five States continues to expand, new residents wonder how so many look passed the many bugs
By Humphrey Harker
Since the Five States officially bound together and tied their fates to one another, the population of the region has continued to grow. The legislatures from each of the states have attempted to allow residents to make their own way in the region with little government interference. The private group called the BHTC has funded a significant amount of expansion that many say resulted in the population growth. New residents, however, are often left wondering how so many long time residents of the Five States can deal with all of the bugs. “They are everywhere. When I hunt animals. Bugs. When I hunt bounties. Bugs. When I just try to get into the Five States. Bugs.” said one resident who moved into the Five States two months ago.
They are not alone in their frustration. Another said, “I have taken to keeping a few bandanas on me to wipe the bugs off my face. Those bastards just fly right into your eye while your sprinting around on your house.” While some have suggested ways around the bugs, most have accepted that they are merely a condition of living in the Five States. “There is no place more beautiful than the Five States. Whatever kind of environment you like, there is a state for you,” said a collector who travels around the Five States regularly. “But sometimes you have to deal with the fact that you get that tingle down your spine and think you have found a rare collectible, but it was really just a big leggy bug crawling along the back of your neck.” Long sleeves and and masks are suggested as ways of protecting one’s self from the nuisance of the bugs, but neither is guaranteed to stop them completely.
The first record sellout of Madison Square Garden comes from something you will not expect!
By Rutherford X. Downing
Originally built in 1879, Madison Square Gardens has held all manner of events and spectacles. However, the open roof of the original venue limited shows to fair weather, thus it was torn down and a new venue constructed in 1890. It continued to carry the name Madison Square Garden, a name chosen in remembrance to the Father of the U.S. Constitution, James Madison. The new venue has been a popular location for the American sport professional wrestling. The sport features two grapplers attempting to out power and out maneuver each other to secure a pin fall or submission victory. This week’s event featuring a main event of Ernest Roeber vs. Ismael “the Terrible Turk” Yousouf became the first event to sell every single seat in the venue. A young man from Iowa who attended the event named Frank Gotch said, “the competition was amazing. By next year, I will be wrestling in that ring!”
China leases entire province to France as part of treaty
By Ivy Seager
The province of Kwang-Chou-Wan has been leased to France from China. The lease was part of a treaty process that formally began in 1892. The province has officially become part of the Indochinese Federation, or what many have begun calling French Indochina. The lease is said to be similar to other land leases from China to other European nations and is to last 99 years. The territory itself is of little commercial value however, though it may hold a strategic value.
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