Increase in visitors creates a small financial boom for dying town
By Alois Burditt
Many cowpokes found their way to the dying town of Tumbleweed this week to visit local shops. The former mining boomtown has fallen on hard times ever since the mine at Gaptooth Breach dried up. Many who ran shops in the town left when the miners left, however a few have stayed to tough it out. One of those is Mrs. Chambers, a widow who says she can run the general store for another 20 years or more. The increase in visitors was a boon to her business. “Many folks rode up to the butcher just outside and then rode off, but a few came in and fewer still bought something,” Mrs. Chambers said. “But I still sold more items than usual, even a few hats.”

The increase in visitors is the result of another attempt by the BHTC at financial revitalization. Like previous attempts, this one also offered gold nuggets to those who visited a Tumbleweed shop. Though no purchase was necessary. “If we were going to force them to purchase something, we might as well give the shops money directly,” said a BHTC spokesman. “We can bring them visitors, but it’s up to the shopkeepers to convince them to buy something.” Not all shopkeepers were particularly overjoyed, however. “Some fella bought some meat and then immediately gave it to that damn dog that’s always begging nearby. Now that dog will never go away!” said the Tumbleweed butcher. Once the promotion of the town ended, visitors dramatically declined. “Just the normal folks who come through for odd jobs and bounties, stuck around,” said Sheriff Freeman. “And that’s just fine with me.”

Gunsmith offering illegal weapon modification
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Freelancer)
In these rough and tumble days, cowpokes and gunslingers are always looking for an advantage in a gunfight.  Well out in remote Tumbleweed, there exists a man who is capable of doing just that.  The Tumbleweed Gunsmith, at first glance, appears like any other in the West, besides the paid lodging.  The owner, a Mr. Roscoe Brenner, seems like a well to do gun-maker if you ignore his controversial remakes about exterminating the people of Armadillo for the greater good.  But if a customer says the phrase, I want to shoot a lawyer; then things change a little.

Brenner has managed to modify the triggers of various firearms into becoming what is commonly called a hair-trigger.  The standard amount of pressure required to pull a trigger varies wildly, but the usual standard is five pounds.  Brenner’s modification allows a rifle or pistol to go off with only one pound of pressure, sometimes even less. For single-action revolvers, he also has a special kit that reportedly can turn something like a Cattleman revolver into a double-action firearm.  How he came to possess such a feature is murky at best.  He himself claims to be just fascinated with the old fashion sport of dueling. Brenner’s coded phrase is a reference to a Philadelphia lawyer who years ago was gunned down in a Blackwater duel directly because of a hair-trigger.

Scattered reports from across the Five States show that Brenner’s device is selling very well. People say talking about gunfighters drawing and firing at alarming rates. Some witnesses claim to see a gunfight start and stop in less than a second. Some are claiming supernatural talent, but we now know what the truth is. It’s less the wrath of God and more the underhanded nature of criminals.

The legality of this device is pretty dicey, US law does not permit such an illegal modification, and most sheriffs or marshals will likely arrest if you mention owning such a weapon. But most of the people who would run such a device are likely to be outlaws, people who have committed far worse crimes. This would likely have to reach a high court for any resolution to be met, which appears unlikely for the time being.

Bootlegger captured near O’Creagh’s Run
By Jane Duran
A bootlegger was full of luck while they attempted to escape revenue agents, though it was of the bad variety. Having come from an unknown location, the bootlegger stopped at the a checkpoint established just southwest of O’Creagh’s Run. According to one of the revenue agents, they noticed a bottle of what appeared to be moonshine and opted for a closer look. However, as the agent moved closer the bootlegger pulled out a pistol and fired at the agent before commanding his horse to pull the wagon forward. The agents took cover and fired on the bootlegger as he rode off, now returning fire with a rifle. Once the return fire ended the agents followed in pursuit.

To the agents’ surprise, the bootlegger had run into an ambush just north of their position. The bootlegger appeared to have been caught off guard by the ambush and crashed their wagon. While fending off the attackers, the bootlegger did not notice the agents. The agents knocked the bootlegger out before fighting off the ambushers. The bootlegger was promptly taken to prison to be questioned.

Are you awakened by strange noises in the middle of the night? Do you experience dread when criminals hide in your basement or attic? Have you or your family ever seen a criminal or crime? If the answer is yes, don’t wait another minute. Get to your nearest telegraph to contact the professionals at the Herald today! Our courteous and efficient staff is ready receive your telegram 24 hours a day! No matter how unbelievable the story, we’re ready to believe you!

Two men killed in explosion near Riggs Station
By Daisy Fairman
A private dispute claimed the lives of two men when a tanker wagon exploded near them. A cowpoke was seen urging a pair of horses on who were pulling the tanker. Several men were in pursuit. “I heard ’em yellin’ ‘thief! kill that bastard'” said a witness who was waiting for the train to arrive. At the same time the cowpoke was driving the tanker wagon across the tracks, two men were riding their horses on the same path. The pursuers began firing from horseback and shooting wildly. A shot must have pierced the wagon, which started a fire, which spread quickly and before anyone realized it, the tanker exploded. The men riding their horses nearby had already been tossed from their horses when the shooting started and explosion happened before they had fully recovered. The one closer to the explosion died instantly, the other died while being transported to the Strawberry Doctor. The cowpoke driving the wagon was not seen again, though the pursuers were found at the scene dead from gunshot wounds.

Johnny Eustace brought to justice, bounty hunter Nathaniel Cross interviewed
By Nick McCrary
The bounty hunter Nathaniel Cross was spotted in Blackwater this week. He had brought in the wanted man Johnny Eustace. Eustace was wanted internationally, as well as in the Five States. Wanted in Ireland for the murder of six Englishmen, Eustace escaped the country on a ship to the United States. His appearance in the Five States was only discovered after he killed a federal marshal in New Austin. This kill earned Eustace wanted man status in the U.S. and a legal bounty in the Five States. It was not long until Eustace was brought in. After turning Eustace into the Blackwater Police Department, Mr. Cross agreed to a brief interview at the saloon.

I arrived there first, as Mr. Cross had to stable his horse Bad Moon, a beautiful silver Turkoman. “It was a long ride from Monte’s Rest, she needs rest,” Mr. Cross told me after sitting down with a beer bottle in his hand. “She’s a good horse, but bounty hunting takes it toll on you, horse or human.” My first question came as a result of our discussion about the stable, why did he call his bounty wagon the Flying Spoon? Mr. Cross laughed, “it handles the way I imagine a flying spoon would. That is to say, fast and unwieldy.” He shrugged and continued, “besides, bounty hunting is serious work and sometimes you need absurd things to balance it out. Giants doing cartwheels, statues wearing high heels, imagination sets in, and pretty soon I’m singing with disgruntled captured men riding my Flying Spoon. It puts a smile on my face and a frown on theirs.”

I suppose that made sense, at least to him anyway. I then moved on to why he would bring his bounty to Blackwater from Monte’s Rest when Strawberry would have been closer. Mr. Cross took a drink of his beer and said, “I like to have a drink after a good hunt. Can’t do that in Strawberry, at least not openly.” Mr. Cross stated he had to track Eustace around the area before returning to the camp and finding Eustace nearby, returning to his makeshift home.

“Wanted men are naturally suspicious of folks they don’t know,” said Mr. Cross as he lit a cigarette and ordered another beer. “He was none to happy to see me, but my bolas was faster than his draw,” Mr. Cross continued. As the bartender brought his beer, Mr. Cross ordered roast prairie chicken and asked for some peach cobbler to be served just after. I asked Mr. Cross why one would choose to hunt men for profit, he replied, “I hunt men who are a danger to other folks. I get to pick and choose the bounties I take because I don’t do it for the money I do it to satisfy my own code.” I noticed that his gear was in excellent shape and he appeared quite healthy, indicating he is not likely poor. So I asked him, “what do you do for money?”

Mr. Cross smiled as he finished his beer. The bartender brought the roast chicken and a fresh beer and Mr. Cross started cutting the bird while he replied. “How a man earns his money is their own business, don’t you think?” After finishing his beer he called out to the bartender, “Can you bring me some of that special stuff?” The bartender brought a bottle of something that smelled minty. He poured us both a glass and I obliged with a drink. The liquid was smooth, minty as expected but a hint of vanilla and a bit fruity. I asked what kind of drink it was, and Mr. Cross finished his in one drink and said, “it’s the kind that makes a man money.” The bartender brought Mr. Cross his cobbler just after he finished his chicken and Mr. Cross pointed to me and said, “he’s picking up the tab today, it’s the price of the interview.”

Van Horn resident shot in the gut, walks it off straight to the saloon
By Van R. Seldon
A minor miracle occurred this week when a Van Horn resident was shot in the stomach with a shotgun. The man had been walking down the street when two cowpokes rode through the town in a hurry. The resident yelled at the first one that rode by, which angered the second cowpoke. She dismounted her horse and shoved her sawed off shotgun into the man’s gut and pulled the trigger. After jumping back on her horse she rode off to catch up to her partner. Witnesses watched as the pair left before coming out to check on their neighbor. To their surprise, however, as they approached his prone body he suddenly stood up. The victim shook his head, looked at his bloody shirt before shrugging and walking to the saloon. Van Horn has no doctor, so the man was never checked up on. However, it does not take a doctor to know this was a remarkable event.

The Van Horn man did not report any pain afterwards. The only thing he remembered was a woman shoving the shotgun in his stomach and then waking up with a bloody shirt. His wound was completely gone. He lifted his shirt to prove it. It seems likely that the story is completely made up, however, a resident who belongs to the Respawners said it was simply a mistake. “We ain’t suppose to get up like that when folks are still looking,” the resident said. “We all come back, but nobody notices. But stand up where you just got killed and folks notice.”

The Respawner went on to explain that he, as a proper resident of Van Horn, is less real than the cowpokes having adventures. “They exist outside the world, those like me exist only in the false world. But we are both respawn and can both be Respawners.” When a “proper resident” of the Five States dies, they return as “new people copies.” “They are new, but they are copies, right?” he explained. It is rare for the process which creates new people copies to go wrong, but when it does it may frighten non-Respawners. “Folks probably thought he was an undead monster, but he’s just a copy of a copy of a copy that this time, failed to properly copy.”

Disclaimer: Suffocation of diseases may be the result of suffocating yourself.

Cowpokes come to Heartland Overflow from all over to hunt birds
By Emery Cosberry
The Heartlands has always been a favorite hunting spot for many. In particular, the wetlands of the Heartland Overflow is often a fertile ground for game. The shallow waters bring many animals from deer to rabbits looking for a drink. This week, as the result of a sudden increase of demand in bird feathers, many cowpokes took to hunting birds. “It’s my main spot when I want to pick up a few deer, but there are often dozens of birds there too,” a hunter remarked. “Lots of geese and ducks, which means animal fat. Very useful for those of us that survive on the land,” said another. I sat and watched the moment that three hunters worked together without ever speaking. Each was kneeling silently, watching as birds flew in and landed in the water of the overflow. Once each had his gun raised, one of them fired. Dozens of birds took to the sky and most of them returned to the ground in short order. It was efficient and impressive.

The cooperation ended quickly, however. As the cowpokes rode in to collect the feathers and other materials from their prey, a gun fight started among the three. It is unclear which of the hunters started the fight, but in the end only one remained standing. They spent the next several minutes plucking the birds before another cowpoke came to the overflow and shot him. That cowpoke promptly began plucking the birds, but they too were ultimately killed by another fellow who looked remarkably like the man who was just killed. As the gunfight escalated, it became my journalistic responsibility to leave so that I may share what I saw. I did not leave out of fear. It was duty.

Tragic shooting leads to public executions and madness
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Freelancer)

Last Friday, Saint-Denis was rocked by a bloody assassination attempt that quickly spiraled into something even more sinister. That morning Guido Martelli, an associate of Angelo Bronte, was getting some oranges at the market. As he wandered the market, a large wagon with the back covered drove by. Just as Martelli was paying for the oranges, gunfire erupted. The cloth on the wagon was thrown back to reveal a man wielding an old but functional Gatling gun. Martelli dove for cover and returned a few shots before the carriage sped off. Martelli himself was unharmed, but a five-year-old child standing nearby was unfortunately hit during the attack. He died on the spot as people screamed for help.

The driver and gunner were not identified, but onlookers described them as quote, “not looking like us.”

Law enforcement took this to mean they were likely German, Mexican, or colored; people considered foreign by less progressive individuals. Having arrived on the scene before the local police could investigate, Sandra Walsh and the Hangman’s Bureau quickly got to work.

It was shortly after dark when the damper day took a far crueler route. At a large gathering near the town square statue, history began to repeat itself sadly. Miss Walsh had in tow at fifteen individuals of various races. She began reading out her sentencing as the watchful crowd swelled into the hundreds. She condemned each individual to death for the murder of Tommy Howards, the little boy. After each sentence, Walsh would command Morgan Knight to kick out the chair each of the condemned was standing on. This process went on for hours; by the end, fourteen men and one woman were lynched. They were hanged on lamp posts, trees, even the statue itself. The crowd roared for each death, while the Spanish, German, Irish, and colored populations looked on in terror.

Various individuals reported how similar this incident was to the tragic Italian lynching that happened following the murder of police officer Henry Jenkins. The town square statue was even the exact spot where this tragic event transpired all those years ago.

The police department is beyond furious for this lack of due process, and anyone who isn’t native French is scared of retribution.
Its quickly becoming evident that making vigilante bounty hunters in charge of enforcing the laws was a grievous error.

Man sees the unexplainable in the bayou, appears to have gone mad
By Emeline Vickroy
A cowpoke showed up in Saint Denis this week looking stunned and trying to make sense of the world. He spoke to a few residents while looking for the local alienist. According to those residents, the man visited a local moonshine operation and attempted to enter what he thought was the operation’s illegal bar. However, he walked into something he could not explain. “He said it was bigger on the inside. Like he opened a door, walked inside and was suddenly in a room bigger than the building he was in,” said a resident who spoke to the man. The man allegedly saw bright blue skies and even clouds, despite being inside. Eventually, the man was pointed to the Saint Denis alienist, though the alienist refused to comment. Another resident heard the man mumbling something about “The Whovians.” That group is not unknown to this newspaper. The leader of the group is Akanowa, Chickasaw tracker and warrior.

The group is dedicated to finding someone they call, “The Doctor.” While not searching for this Doctor, they often assist residents across the Five States. How a run in with this group could send a man to the alienist is anyone’s guess. However, their claims are nearly as wild as those of the Respawners, who believe we live in a false world. According to the Whovians, the Doctor is an alien time traveler who often saves the earth from alien threats. That may be enough to send a sane man down the path of insanity.

Bar fight ends with dozens of men unconscious in Chicago
By Frederick Vannesse
A bar in Chicago was rocked by a barroom brawl that included nearly every patron there. Witnesses report that it started when a man, unhappy with losing money gambling, accused another of cheating. “Big mistake, he accused Leroy Brown of cheatin’ and Leroy ain’t the type to take that kindly,” said a witness. The man commonly call the “baddest man in the whole damned town,” denied the accusation. The accuser then threw a drink at Mr. Brown and called him a dandy. “Ole’ Leroy loves his fancy clothes and diamond rings, but he ain’t no dandy. He was alone against a dozen men. I bet on Leroy ‘cuz he’s meaner than a junkyard dog!” said another patron. According to witnesses, Leroy Brown took several hits without flinching while every hit he gave knocked a man out. Police arrived as the fight concluded, but even they gave Mr. Brown a wide berth as he walked by.

New elements discovered by British chemists
By Ivy Seager
Sir William Ramsay and Morris W. Travers have announced the discovery of three new elements. The elements were discovered through a process of cooling air and then warming the resulting liquid. The gases were captured and then identified. Three of these gases had never been identified before. Those gases are neon, krypton, and metargon. According to Ramsay and Travers, metargon is similar to argon, but is seen on a different spectrum. They also note that neon, when stimulated with electricity, glows a reddish-orange. Of this glow, Travers said, “the blaze of crimson light from the tube told its own story and was a sight to dwell upon and never forget.” Sir Ramsay, along with Lord Rayleigh, discovered argon four years ago. Ramsay and Travers are eager to continue using this method to find other undiscovered elements.

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