Body pulled out of Lake Don Julio
By Wylie Frey
A fisherman hooked more than he bargained for when he pulled a body out of Lake Don Julio this week. “I cast my rod out and started reeling it in and noticed my line was stuck on something,” the fisherman said. He continued to reel it in and eventually his hook caught something floating on the surface of the lake. “I saw that it was a body once I got it close to shore,” he explained, “feller only had one boot on, if you could believe it.” He pulled the body to shore and leaving the line attached to him tied it off so he, “couldn’t float off back into the lake.” The fisherman traveled to Armadillo and reported what he found to the sheriff. According to him, the sheriff was not terribly interested, given that, “Armadillo has its own problems.”

It was up me, as an investigator of this paper to look into it. Unfortunately, it seemed no great mystery here. There were no signs that the man had been attacked or assaulted in any way. In his pocket was $500 in a clip, surely if he was attacked this would have been taken. Further, I found a campsite on the opposite shore where the fisherman found the body. Here, I found copious amounts of empty alcohol bottles, a fire that had been out for several days at least, and a single boot which ended up matching the single boot on the corpse. This man drowned while drunk. Not an interesting story, but a cautionary one.

Fort Mercer taken over by Del Lobo gang
By Alois Burditt
The abandoned military fort, once known as the hideout of the notorious Teddy Brown, is now in the hands of the Del Lobo gang. Readers of this paper likely recall that the Del Lobo gang pushed north in the Five States, however federal Marshal Tom Davies recruited a posse of cowpokes and pushed the gang back. Marshal Davies’ campaign ended with the death of the gang’s leader Alfredo Montez during a failed assault on Valentine to rescue Montez. The gang was forced to retreat south into New Austin and South West Elizabeth to lick their wounds.

In recent weeks Del Lobo activity has increased and lawmen began to expect a resurgence in the gang’s power. It appears now, that they were right. The gang has grown in enough force to take over Fort Mercer. While taking over the fort is no great feat, given that the fort was abandoned, it is a statement. The Del Lobo are comfortable coming back out in the open and that means their membership is up and their leader is ready stake claims on territory. New Austin is a state with little law enforcement and caution is always advised when traveling in the state. Increased caution is warranted if the Del Lobo are again on the rise.

Many gather in Colter, demanding support to revitalize the abandoned mining town
By Jane Duran
Dozens of folks gathered in Colter to demand support from the Bureau for Hurdling a Tarrying Congress. They are requesting that the BHTC infuse money into rebuilding the abandoned town instead of funding more jobs in the Five States. Colter was abandoned in 1884, when the great storm hit. The town could no longer support a settlement and so survivors were forced to leave. No one has returned to reestablish the town. Supporters of Colter say the town has much to offer to hunters in the Grizzlies. Others have acknowledged that they would like to see Colter revitalized, but do not want the BHTC to de-emphasize job expansion. The answer according to them is to appeal to Congress for aid. Neither the BHTC nor anyone from Congress responded to our request for a comment.

Cowpokes flock to Blackwater to visit the barber
By Nick McCrary
The Blackwater barber was a busy man this week. Mr. Wilton, as well as other barbers across the Five States, were recipients of an indirect stimulus from the Bureau for Hurdling a Tarrying Congress. A wealthy member of the BHTC donated several gold nuggets to offer as payment to any cowpoke who visited the barber to change their facial hair style or makeup. “Folks run around the Five States looking haggard and unkempt,” said Mr. Maxwell Gasch, “it is about time they clean themselves up.” Mr. Gasch, who funded this endeavor and was clean shaven himself, hopes to see a “cleaner cut” society in the coming weeks.

Mr. Gasch left Saint Denis to visit the Blackwater barber, saying, “Saint Denis is mostly civilized, Blackwater is on the cusp of it. Best that I oversee my plan here, where we have a chance to change things.” Much to Mr. Gasch’s disappointment however, moments after our interview concluded a man came out of the barber with a long unkempt beard. The man then grabbed Mr. Gasch’s shoulder, obviously not knowing who he was, and said, “that feller has miracle hair growth tonic. I never could grow a beard and now I have a great big one!” Mr. Gasch wiped his shoulder with a handkerchief, which he then dropped on the ground, before quickly returning to his private ship on the Blackwater harbor and promptly departing.

Hunting resumes in full force in Big Valley
By Daisy Fairman
Big Valley has always been known as one of the richest hunting regions in the Five States. Months ago the animal populations collapsed due to over hunting and lack of sustainable land use practices. Already stressed as human populations expanded, animal populations could not be sustained under the hunting increase that occurred after the BHTC began funding to subsidize supplies for traders. While Congress hesitated, the BHTC worked with a conservation group to boost animal populations. That effort was documented in this paper and included bringing animals from across the U.S. to the Five States and a scheduled release of those animals into the population.

Animal populations have begun to stabilize and Big Valley is once again a draw for many hunters. “I don’t see as many other folk out here like in the old days,” said a hunter I spoke to, “but I suppose that’s good, right?” It seems that though animal populations have rebounded many have moved on to other ways of making a living. For conservationists and the BHTC, this is a good thing. “We lack authority to legally limit who can hunt, so if folks are self-limiting then it works out great for us.”

Six More Miles to the Graveyard, the Sad Aftermath of Life in the West
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Freelancer)
With how violent the Five State Area can be, often people forget about the human side of tragedy. You may read about the exploits of people like the Smoking Gun or Myra Rose Hart, but you don’t spare a thought to people who knew the deceased. Those who no longer have a mother or father.  Well, this story is a little different.   

Lilly Stewart is a woman in her late 40s, living in Valentine.  She works part-time, helping sort mail for the local post office.  When she’s not working, she is constantly thinking of her husband Roy, who went off to New Austin looking for a better source of income to help the family.

In the last week, Lilly was sadly informed that her husband had been shot and killed near Tumbleweed, likely an attempted robbery gone wrong.  She was inconsolable for days.  The only thing Lilly looked forward to now was burying the only person she had ever cared about for 25 years.  When she was told that the train carrying her husband’s body was slowly driving to Valentine, she refused to leave the chair right in front of the railroad and post office.  That same spot five years ago was where she had last seen Roy as he boarded a train.  Later that night she was given a telegram, merely stating that the train was six more miles away, but would be delayed due to a herd of cattle.  

Left with all the time in the world, the poor woman composed a short little funeral song as the rain began to pour.  Six had once been her lucky number, and it was a short six miles from the train to the local cemetery.  All through the night, she kept repeating that poem.

“Never on this Earth will we meet again.  With my heart so sour and the rain so hard.  Six more miles to the graveyard, so long and sad.  Six more miles to leave my darling.  I have to leave the best friend I ever had.”

She never fell asleep, and by noon the next day, she saw the train coming down the plains, slowly bringing her darling back home one more time.  No words were spoken, she merely walked onto the train and sat with the coffin, long as she was allowed.  

The funeral was attended by almost a quarter of the town; most had been moved by the image of the grieving widow who refused to move from the spot she last saw her beloved.  Her little poem is already being sung by hillbilly bands as a touching love song.  All Lilly had to say was that she’s glad Roy will now forever be close.

Two murders in Strawberry Hotel, nobody hears a thing
By Ela Q. Asken
Dear readers, this week something quite unexpected happened. Two people were killed this week and apparently I am the only one to have heard the fatal gunshots. I do not consider myself to be a coward, but nor am I a fool. When I heard the first gunshot late at night, I froze. I wanted to run toward the sound that was so close to me, but quickly realized that would be foolish. I am an investigator, not a gunslinger. When I arrived, the killer was gone. A sophisticated gentleman staying in the room next to mine also ran to the sound, gun in hand. After I assured him I was perfectly safe, the killer was gone, and that I was a professional investigator, he left. I could not have such a fine gentleman see such a bloody scene, better for him to enjoy Strawberry with its pleasantries untainted.

The victim was bound to a chair similarly to the victim from last week. However, the victim did not show any signs of having been tortured. It seems his binding was simply meant to drive fear into the man’s heart as he faced the reality of his approaching death. A cigarette filter was left in the man’s pocket along with another tarot card. Once again the Smoking Gun left me a Queen of Swords tarot card, though this one had Xs on the eyes. A warning.

Days later, while I slept, I was startled awake by another gunshot. This one was much closer than last time: the room next to mine. Moreover, the victim was not staying in that room. The victim had been witnessed following a “well dressed man” to the room next to mine. I had seen this man on numerous occasions aside from the moment mentioned above. He had been polite every time I encountered him, though he mostly kept to himself. For a week I had been so focused on looking for the Smoking Gun I never noticed that he was next to me the whole time.

I spoke to the hotel operator, who said the man checked out late at night. He left the name Alan Asken, which prompted the man to ask if we were of relation. An obviously fake name and dead end, with a taunt thrown in for good measure. Nobody reported hearing the gunshot, which I found odd given that the hotel was full of visitors. Like the first shooting, everyone I asked said they heard nothing and tried their best to avoid me. Until now I assumed there was one other witness, but that was in fact, the Smoking Gun himself. Back in the room, in the ashtray was a burned Queen of Swords tarot card. If these warnings are meant to dissuade me from my mission, the Smoking Gun is mistaken. Clearly, it is a sign that I am getting to him.

Massive alligator mauls cowpoke in the bayou
By Aloysius Levron
A man was mauled to death by an alligator and their friend watched the entire incident. “He was fishing must not have seen the ‘gator swim up to him. He never yelled out or anything,” the surviving friend said. It was a matter of seconds before the man was pulled underwater. “The thrashing is what got my attention,” his friend said. At that point, the friend admitted to freezing in panic for several moments. When he finally snapped out of his frozen state, he ran to his horse and grabbed his bolt action rifle. He aimed, and then admits to hesitating. “Look, he was dead already, right? No harm in making sure. And if he was alive, would he want to live? I hear they give out belt buckles for folks who kill animals after they killed their friends. Kind messed up, but I don’t make the rules.”

The friend then aimed his rifle at the alligator and fired. The thrashing was over and both the man and the gator were dead. “I skinned the gator and checked my friend for his possessions,” the friend shrugged. The deceased has no known relatives in the Five States, so his friend reasoned it was best that he took his possessions.

Gunfight on the outskirts of Saint Denis sends many residents in doors
By Mathilde Orry
Saint Denis residents went scurrying into their homes late this week as a result of gunfight at a factory at the edge of the city. A woman driving a stagecoach by the factory witnessed the origin of the gunfight. According to her, a man wearing mostly grey with a black hat and coat flung a bolas at a man at the factory. The men around the entangled man hesitated, which was their doom. The man who flung the bolas pulled out two pistols and began firing. This sent most of the men at the factory running for cover or resulted in their death. The witness hurried her horse on, worried about getting caught in the crossfire. The last thing she saw as she rode away as the attacker charging into the defenders.

The Saint Denis police responded and sent a few police on horseback to investigate. By the time they arrived they saw the man the witness described riding a silver Turkoman. The policemen immediately recognized the man as Nathanial Cross, a licensed bounty hunter. On the back of his horse was a man wanted named Arnold Porter who was wanted for murdering his wife. They offered to take the man, but Mr. Cross declined the offer and opted to finish the job. “Beautiful horse, I said to him. Heard about Bad Moon from a fellow policeman, warned me not to get too close,” one of the policeman said. Mr. Cross dumped the bounty off at the Saint Denis Police Station, took his payment and promptly went on his way.

Women’s suffrage movement on the rise
By Adam Parvey
Before the tension between the U.S. and Spain broke into an all out war, Ann Mosey, offered to raise a regiment of 50 lady sharpshooters to fight Spain. Mosey, who is better known by her stage name Annie Oakley, is an accomplished sharpshooter and has been shooting guns since she was eight. She said 50 lady sharpshooters could do just as good as men, if not better. Her offer was promptly ignored. However, in ignoring Mosey’s offer, the U.S. government has thrown gasoline on the fire of women’s suffrage. “In this time of need, why wouldn’t the government take lady sharpshooters seriously? Do they have legions of volunteer sharpshooters already?” said one suffragette. Whether supported by the government or not, the movement for women’s rights is not slowing down.

New territory established in Canada
By Ivy Seager
The Yukon Territory has officially been established in the north. The area was first occupied by the native people of the region before many Europeans came to the area in search of gold. The Klondike Gold Rush increased this migration and for the last several months establishing the Yukon as its own territory become a regular discussion. This week the planning came to fruition and the Yukon Territory was established. Dawson, the center of the Klondike Gold Rush activity, was chosen as its capital.

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