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To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
The Smoking Gun returns, tortures and kills man just outside of Strawberry
By Ela Q. Asken
A man was found dead in an abandoned house near Strawberry. He was bound to a chair and tortured before being shot. The Strawberry Sheriff was first notified that something was amiss when a man riding into Strawberry from Big Valley first reported that he had heard screaming coming from a house he rode by. “I ain’t no hero, so I just rode a bit faster and reported it as soon as I got into town,” the man said. Sheriff Hanley remarked that this report alone was not worth investigating. However, when a gunshot echoed in the night from the direction the screaming was reported, the Sheriff decided to investigate. They arrived too late.
At the scene, they found the unidentified victim bound to a chair. His body was covered in bruises and burn marks. The burn marks appeared to have come from cigarettes. The floor was also littered with hand rolled cigarette filters. It is the first thing I noticed, and the very reason I was contacted by the Strawberry Sheriff to take a look. There were over a dozen cigarette filters. Either the torture lasted a really long time or the Smoking Gun is a chain smoker.
Identifying the man has proved difficult for authorities, as the man was so thoroughly beaten. “He had a broken jaw and fractures on his skull. He was hit with something hard over and over again,” said Sheriff Hanley. The victim was ultimatley killed by a gunshot to the head. “That was a mercy,” said Sheriff Hanley, “Ain’t no recovering from those injuries, least not in a way that would let a man live a proper life.” This kill is unlike any of the Smoking Gun’s past kills.
Past kills have largely been in two categories. The first are those who are assassinated without ever knowing they were a target. Many on the docks of Saint Denis were killed in this fashion. The other category are those who were hogtied. Some were shot while hogtied while others tossed in rivers to drown. But up until now, there was no evidence that any victim had been tortured like this. Upon inspecting the victim’s belongings, I found in his coat pocket a cigarette butt and a tarot card; the Queen of Swords.
Once again the Smoking Gun goads me, but readers, I know something that he does not know that I know. What it is, I regretfully cannot say for the Smoking Gun reads this paper. For the time being, I will remain in Strawberry while I pursue new leads.
Spectacular Gun Battle Observed Outside of Armadillo
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Freelancer)
The citizens of Armadillo live life day by day. With the Scarlet Fever outbreak, likely to last for some time, entertainment is hard to come by. Well, this week, entertainment came to Armadillo, and it did not disappoint.
An unknown female bounty hunter was searching for a criminal on the run, standard fair far as New Austin goes. The bounty was traveling in a convoy of two wagons, just south of the diseased ridden town. At the crossroads was a revenue agency blockade, some members of the organization refuse to back down following the murder of special agent Reid Hixon.
The intrepid bounty hunter, either through poor eyesight due to the cloudy night sky or because a startled horse, crashed into one of the agents, killing him. All the agents drew their weapons and told the bounty hunter to get on the ground. At that very moment, the outlaw convoy reached the outpost. The outlaw was just as surprised as the revenue agents. By even worse luck, a wagon full of moonshine was coming through at the other end of the outpost, followed by a seasoned fur trader and an oil convoy coming from Plainview.
It’s unknown which cowpoke fired the first shot, but whether by accident or not, a gun went off, and nearly 100 individuals started to fight. The oil convoy went up in a ball of fire first, all while the cowpokes driving the moonshine and fur wagons desperately tried to ride out. Someone on a maxim machine gun opened fire into the crowd, hitting countless people, including the moonshine wagon and its driver. Cracked bottles of Poison Poppy and blood quickly pooled onto the ground. All sorts of weapons were used, pistols, rifles, arrows, fire bottles, dynamite, axes, knives, and swords. It was reported that one revenue agent was even mauled by a cougar before it was shot.
When the sun rose the next morning, the light revealed the remains of a bloody battlefield. The fur trader and moonshiner were both slumped over their respected wagons. Wildlife from rabbits to the horses themselves, lay dead. Vultures pecked at the remains of the revenue agency’s finest. The wanted outlaw was found dead with at least seven stab wounds. Not even the war with Spain has produced a battle so brutal. The only person unaccounted for is the bounty hunter who started this, whether she lives or not we cannot say. Those that didn’t survive the battle are not expected to be buried, as one citizen of Armadillo said so eloquently.
“Let the dead bury the dead.”
Train attack thwarted
By Caylen V. Hornby
A murderous act was thwarted this week when a cowpoke taking a shortcut noticed dynamite rigged to the Granite Pass train bridge. “If you’re careful, the train tracks can be a great shortcut,” said the cowpoke, “I saw a few barrels while using that shortcut that ain’t normally there and then noticed some dynamite as well.” The explosives had been wired but there was no detonator. The cowpoke removed the dynamite. “Then I rode to Valentine, figured without the dynamite them barrels of gunpowder wouldn’t do too much harm,” they said. They returned with a posse and waited. Eventually, two men showed up and one of them was carrying the detonator. When the posse revealed themselves, one man pulled out a pistol and he was killed immediately. The other, still holding the detonator, said he gave up. He was taken to the Valentine Sheriff’s office where he confessed that he and his friend were former employees of the Central Train Company who were recently fired. The planned bombing was their revenge. The cowpoke who prevented the catastrophe was offered free train fare for life as a thank you.
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Ambarino state government issues warning regarding Cairn Lake
By Jane Duran
In a rare move this week, the Ambarino state government (which consists almost entirety of a governor and a handful of legislators) has issued a warning to residents across the Five States. The warning is to stay away from Cairn Lake. It has been rumored that legendary outlaw Flaco Hernandez had been hiding in the region. Several gunfights have been reported in the area over the years. Flaco is a known member of the Del Lobos gang, which claims territory primarily in New Austin and south West Elizabeth. Why Flaco would be so far north is anyone’s guess, though the most likely explanation is that it is a defensible area that lawmen are unlikely to go to. Whether Flaco is really in the area or not has not been officially confirmed, but all the same authorities are warning visitors to stay away.
The Great Plains Sniper returns, revenue agents go into hiding
By Nick McCrary
Last week the head of the Bureau of Internal Revenue, Reid Hixon was killed attempting to apprehend moonshiners. The Great Plains Sniper has taken the moment to press down on agent checkpoints. After first appearing two weeks ago, agents began to barter among each other to get out of working checkpoints in the Great Plains. In the midst of a chaotic time for the Bureau, agents attempted to maintain checkpoints. “It is important for folks to remember that though Agent Hixon was a great agent and will be missed, the Bureau will move on and continue to hunt for moonshiners and bootleggers,” said a spokesman for the Bureau. Part of this force was two separate checkpoints operating in the early part of the week. Each checkpoint had extra agents, including a few snipers. It did not help.
The first checkpoint attacked was just southeast of Manzanita Post. The lone surviving agent reported that the two snipers at the checkpoint were killed first, within seconds of each other. The agent reported that they all made for cover in an organized fashion, stating that they are well trained agents. However, a trader caught at the checkpoint had a different story. “I heard the gunshot and saw the first agent die, I knew it was the Great Plains Sniper and I need not worry,” the trader said. “I got my wagon moving along by the time the second agent was killed and then it was just panic, them fellers ran around screaming, ‘our snipers are dead!'”
Agents from a checkpoint established in the northern Great Plains area heard the gunshots and came riding to help. However, by the time they arrived all of the agents but one were dead. The sruviving agent was wounded however. The reinforcements were shot at in while they were still in route to the checkpoint, a few were killed while the others rode back to the northern checkpoint.
The agents waited there in a defensive position as wagons passed through unmolested. After several moments the sniper reappeared. Once again the agents scampered and others riding through the checkpoint calmly rode through as the agents were killed one by one.
Are you awakened by strange noises in the middle of the night? Do you experience dread when criminals hide in your basement or attic? Have you or your family ever seen a criminal or crime? If the answer is yes, don’t wait another minute. Get to your nearest telegraph to contact the professionals at the Herald today! Our courteous and efficient staff is ready receive your telegram 24 hours a day! No matter how unbelievable the story, we’re ready to believe you!
Anticipation for another jobs expansion getting higher, BHTC silent
By Adam Parvey
Though there has been no announcement from the Bureau for Hurdling a Tarrying Congress, many residents in the Five States expect a new jobs expansion is on the horizon. “The folks at the BHTC fund the Wheeler and Rawson Outlaw Pass,” said a resident. “That Outlaw Pass has expired so I reckon something new is coming.” Others have expressed similar thoughts and for good reason. The first Wheeler, Rawson, and Co. Outlaw Pass expired weeks before the BHTC offered a second infusion of cash into the Five States. While no new job expansion arrived with that infusion, it kept the current jobs funded by the BHTC going. Moreover, there is an unsubstantiated rumor that the BHTC is behind the resurgence of the moonshine business in the Five States.
If that rumor is true, which we could not verify, then the BHTC did expand their jobs program. Either way, while many are content with the jobs they have, many more are eager for something new. “I’ve been bounty hunting since the days when you only got paid in a few gold nuggets, no cash at all,” exclaimed a bounty hunter, “I’m ready for something a little less risky and a lot more profitable.” Others seek stability. “I’m a hunter and a trader. I live off the land and it provides for me. I’ve been able to make good money trading animal parts but I know it’s only a matter of time before the animal populations collapse again. If that happens, don’t matter how good I am at hunting,” one concerned trader said.
I also spoke to two cowpokes who claimed to be collectors for Madam Nazar, each telling a different story about why they are ready to move on. “I use this, um, well we ain’t supposed to talk about it, but it helps me find lots of items. I find them no problem. Make lots of money, but I’m bored,” the first said. The second was not bored, but frustrated. “I get these maps from Madam Nazar and I explore the world, never a dull moment. But I never seem to manage to find a full collection and Madam Nazar is always scolding me for selling her single items.”
Whatever their reason, cowpokes all over the Five States are ready to move on to the next opportunity to make money or new adventures. What those jobs and adventures will entail, few can speculate. Some have claimed that the BHTC plans to pay cowpokes for pictures of wild animals, while others have suggested some towns may need new deputies and the BHTC may provide them. The BHTC refused to comment for this article.
Strange encounter reported by cowpoke near Dakota River
By Emery Cosberry
In Valentine I came accross a fellow with the most interesting story. After fishing in the Dakota River with a friend, the pair decided to head into Valentine. On their way, a woman claiming to be a seeker of fame called out to them. “We were suspicious of her, of course. But we approached,” the man said. The woman explained she had a special request. “She wanted me to hogtie her and then have my friend take a picture of us, with her tied up,” explained the cowpoke. “It was just plain odd.” However, the woman offered the pair money and so they acquiesced to the request. “It was an easy $10,” said the man’s friend. She went on, “she told us where to find the money in her bag once I took the picture. Then we left.”
The fame seeker was left tied up on the shore of the Dakota River. When asked why they left her tied up, the man said, “She said she was gonna pay us to tie her up and take a picture. She never said we had to untied her and quite frankly, the whole thing was odd so figured it was safest if we just left her there.” His female companion laughed and chimed in, “It’s not like we robbed her, we took only what we were owed.”
Lone bounty hunter kills several lawmen when deputy says a bounty has “expired”
Van R. Seldon
A bounty hunter grabbed a poster for a six man bounty in Annesburg, telling a deputy standing nearby to have the money ready. The bounty hunter rode off alone and an hour later returned driving a prison style wagon. He pulled up to the Annesburg Sheriff’s office and called out for a deputy to bring him his money and collect the bodies. The deputy inspected the contents of the wagon: six dead bodies. The bounty hunter explained that the men were holed up in a cave nearby and so he had no choice but to kill them. The deputy remarked that dead meant they were no longer a threat and then informed the hunter that the bounty on those particular men had expired anyway. As such, the deputy could neither pay the bounty hunter nor collect the bodies.
The bounty hunter did not take this kindly and without warning, pulled out his pistol and shot the deputy in the head. Other deputies responded quickly, but the hunter proved the quicker and the more accurate shot. After the deputies were dispatched, other lawmen took cover. During that time the bounty hunter jumped on a departing train, leaving the horse and prison wagon behind.
Plague causes murders in Saint Denis!
By Mickey Zhou (Freelancer)
With the current Yellow Fever outbreak in the state of Lemoyne, many are seeking refuge in Saint Denis. The amount of people present has skyrocketed, and now tensions have reached another breaking point as escaped convict Mrs Jessica Van Antwerpen brutally murdered five patrons in the Bastille saloon in Saint Denis. She reportedly entered the saloon wearing men’s clothing, and shot five patrons in cold blood using a Cattleman pistol she stole from her guard during her escape from a Sisika chain gang. Saint Denis Chief of Police Benjamin Lambert, along with three officers and a Lemoyn State Marshall stormed the building shortly after, and were forced to shoot her after she turned her weapon on them. This marks the latest in a string of people seeking shelter from the disease opening fire on unsuspecting people.
Real Purpose of Elite Bounty Hunters Discovered
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Freelancer)
For some time, many people across the Five State Area have openly wondered what a group of professor killers like the Hangman’s Bureau was doing here. Theories ranged from Leviticus Cornwall wanted someone dead to perhaps Mexico bought them. Well, as of Friday, that question is answered, although it was hardly assuring.
Saint-Denis mayor Henri Lemieux, hardly the most upstanding of citizens, gave a grand speech about the conditions of the city at dawn. This was after a major protest where over one hundred citizens demanded change and reform. Instead of hiring more police officers or bringing in the so-called Hanover Hero, mayor Lemieux brought out Sandra Walsh, the Bureaus’ leader. The disappointment in the crowd was palpable.
“This upstanding woman and her organization will from now on enforce the laws of our fair city. They are better equipped than our strong police force, and they will get the job done.”
Principal citizens like the police chief Lambert and Bishop Sims are reportedly outraged, but nothing can be done. Lemieux is a man of high standards and low morality; like when he gladly took part in the lynching of 11 Italian men years ago following the murder of officer Henry Jenkins.
Walsh’s men quickly got to work; within a day, five people had been arrested for crimes ranging from murder to petty theft. Onlookers noticed that those being arrested often lacked fingers or even hands. One person who isn’t feeling the crackdown is Angelo Bronte. Most citizens suspect him and his associates of being the black heart of Saint-Denis, but none can prove it.
Whether life will improve with these barbarous hunters prowling the streets, none can say. Perhaps things will get better, but at what cost?
Arabic newspaper founded in New York City
By Frederick Vannesse
Naoum Mokarzel, a wealthy migrant from Syria, has founded an Arabic language newspaper in New York City. The newspaper, called Al-Hoda (which means The Guidance), is not the first Arabic language newspaper in New York City, but its emergence suggest the city’s population of people of Arabic descent in New York is growing. The United States has always attracted folks from all over the world seeking to forge their own path and make their own destiny. This may be a sign of an expanding American culture.
Italian Football League starts
By Rutherford X. Downing
The sport of American football has had a slow start. Many regional leagues have formed only to fall apart soon after. After returning to college campuses, football became more popular as intercollegiate leagues offered a consistent competition. The Italian Football League is one of the early professional leagues, setting it apart from leagues which feature colleges. The Italian government is hoping the sport catches on, perhaps as a distraction to its own recent failings to quell a riot.
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