Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Strange Happenings Reported Across the West
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Freelancer)
For most Americans, the west seems to be dying. Historian Joseph Jackson Turner has already declared it over, with many others saying this era in US history will end soon. With the end of an era so close, one might assume all its many mysteries have either been solved or no longer hold interest. The truth is quite the opposite. Every month strange occurrences seem to happen, often without any explanation. These are just a few of the more interesting bizarre events reported in the last month.
Up north in Ambarino, hunters tend to disappear quite frequently. This should be expected, seeing how cold it can get combined with bears and wolves. But the few bodies being found seemed to have long claw marks that don’t match known wildlife. Skeptics claim it must be a new type of animal; others suspect something different. In hushed tones spoken in specific parts of North America, it is said a creature prowls the frozen tundra. A guardian of the land, neither man nor animal. It bears many names, but the most common is Wendigo. A spirit associated with cannibalism and protecting the land from trespassers. Whether a creature hunts humans for disturbing sacred land is, of course, unknown, but something is killing people up north.
The swamps of Lemoyne can be a dangerous place, but the citizens of Lagras always seem to lock their doors on foggy nights. It is said that the swamp goes quiet, only for the silence to be broken by intense wailing. The locals are scared of something they claim is not of this world. Along with loud shrieks and gunshots, the sound of someone choking have also been reported. Bluewater Marsh is, legend has it, where southern belle Agnes Dowd took her own life on September 4th, 1883 after killing her whole family. Perhaps her troubled soul continues to dwell in this world, unable to move onto the next.
Saint-Denis sadly has a high crime rate, so murder is almost commonplace to a point where a dead body is just another problem to deal with. But unlike the frequent stabbings and shootings, more and more bodies are being found drained of blood. No visible wound is ever found on the body besides tiny marks on the neck. Some whisper the legend of the vampire, an immortal bloodsucking demon. Or perhaps its just a sick prank being played by street urchins.
On certain nights, lights are reported in the skies above New Hanover. Decades ago, a cult called Eden’s Gate claimed they would be visited by creators from a different world and accepted into a superior society. They proved quite popular before vanishing one day, never to be found. Most believed they killed themselves, but still, reports of bright lights continue to this day. Whether it’s merely a bright star or something else is not known and perhaps we should all let that mystery be.
Mexican military spotted with Del Lobos gang members
By Alois Burditt
Members of the Mexican military were spotted near Rio Del Lobo Rock. A witness claims to have seen the Mexican military meeting with members of a gang. While the witness was not sure which gang, based on the location it can only be the Del Lobos. It has long been rumored that the Mexican military provided the Del Lobos with resources, including money and weapons, to act as a proxy against the United States. Those who do not believe the rumor have pointed out that Del Lobos typically attack local and state interests, rarely national interests. However, the United States Military has gotten involved in skirmishes in New Austin in the past. Moreover, federal marshals have made New Austin a focus as well. Thus, any significant Del Lobos action can have a larger effect across the country.
Law in New Austin is typically administered in towns. Federal and state police have yet to gain a firm foothold in the state. The construction of Armadillo was the sign that civilization and law were coming, however since the town was hit with a cholera outbreak U.S. advancement into New Austin has stalled. It is possible that the Mexican government hopes the Del Lobos can keep the state destabilized enough to attack and attempt to take the state by force. The meeting could not be confirmed outside the single witness. The United States Military refused to comment.
Are you awakened by strange noises in the middle of the night? Do you experience dread when criminals hide in your basement or attic? Have you or your family ever seen a criminal or crime? If the answer is yes, don’t wait another minute. Get to your nearest telegraph to contact the professionals at the Herald today! Our courteous and efficient staff is ready receive your telegram 24 hours a day! No matter how unbelievable the story, we’re ready to believe you!
Wolf Man spotted, despite being killed at the gallows
By Caylen V. Hornby
In a story more fitting at a campfire than in a newspaper, a man has claimed to have spotted the legendary Wolf Man. The man had been fishing at Lake Isabella when he heard the howling of a pack of wolves. He packed up as he heard the howls getting closer. Using his rifle’s scope he looked out and could see the pack of wolves. To his surprise, however, a man was leading the pack. “I don’t know how to explain it, he was walking with them. Even patted a few on the head. He would point out in a direction and a wolf would run off that way,” the man said. He quickly mounted his horse as it began to snow. The man said that he rode as fast as he could, all the while hearing more and more howls in the distance. Long time readers of this paper, and those who follow current events in general, may recall that the Wolf Man was killed after being captured by a bounty hunter. After his capture, the Wolf Man was hung. Authorities responded by reminding us that the Wolf Man was legally and properly hung, however, they said that the claim is being investigated.
Cowpoke chose poor camp location, killed by train
By Jane Duran
A poor cowpoke took a small stretch of open land to be a good location for their camp. Unfortunately, this open stretch of land had already been chosen for railroad tracks. The cowpoke paid no mind, according to their trading partner (who denies choosing the location) and wandered over the tracks. Somehow they did not hear the train coming until it was too late. The engineer driving the train rang the warning bell and tried to slow down, but it was for naught as the cowpoke was ran over and died instantly. The train then sped back up and resumed its speed. “If a man is dead already, no reason to stop. The trains must run on time,” said a spokesperson for the Central Union Railroad Company. The cowpoke’s camp was promptly packed up.
Gunfight in Blackwater goes on forever
By Nick McCrary
A gunfight in Blackwater lasted longer than the local police expected, longer than they thought a gunfight could last. “I don’t know how it started, I just heard the gunshots,” said one policeman. Several Blackwater policemen went into action, running toward the gunshots and trying to help residents get to safety. The gunfighters remained focused on each other and though residents were frightened, none were harmed. The policeman who attempted to arrest the gunfighters however, were shot on. Many were injured, a few were killed.
“Must have only been about four fellers,” said another policeman. “Been serving in Blackwater for years now and lived through enough gunfights to know the big ones from the little ones. This was a little one, but lasted a long time.” According to the policeman, the gunfight should have been over in minutes but lasted hours. “Fellers kept joining, running from the outskirts of town, but I never saw more than four people at once,” the policeman went on. One person who was not at all confused by the situation was local resident Gilbert Lewis. Mr. Lewis sat a table enjoying his dinner while the gunfight blazed around him. Mr. Lewis is also a Respawner and thinks life is not real.
“I understand why unenlightened folks were afraid, but I know better. What’s the worst that could happen? I get killed?” Mr. Lewis asked. He then explained that getting killed would be inconvenient, but not the end of his life. He went on to explain what the Blackwater policeman could not. “Those fellers were dying, respawning, and dying again. The policeman just can’t perceive it. I can and so I watched it as I ate my grilled salmon.” When the fight finally ended, the police cleaned up the bodies. “I don’t know about that Respawner nonsense,” said one of the policeman who cleaned up the bodies, “but these fellers sure had lots of twin brothers.”
Revenue agents crackdown harder, Agent Hixon growing frustrated and desperate
By Frederick Vannesse
Despite months of aggressive activity in the Five States, Agent Reid Hixon and his revenue agents are no closer to squashing the growth of moonshine. In fact, reports of moonshining activity have increased since Agent Hixon arrived. It is almost as if illicit moonshine activity rises up in spite of, and for the purpose taunting of, Agent Hixon. As a result, Agent Hixon has announced an even more aggressive expansion. “I have said that we will find all illegal alcohol manufacturers and I intend to keep that promise,” said Agent Hixon, “if that takes cracking down on those who know about moonshine operations then so be it. The United States Government will collect the taxes its owed.”
This next wave enforcement expands the focus beyond moonshiners and the bootleggers who move their produce. Agent Hixon is promising to arrest anyone suspected of visiting an illegal “speak easy” bar, purchasing moonshine, or being aware of a moonshine operation. The Agency has said that one need not know they are involved in illegal activity to be held guilty for their crimes. When asked to define what being aware of a moonshine operation means, Agent Hixon responded, “If you see someone drinking what you think is moonshine, then you are aware of a moonshine operation.”
Residents have responded to what they see as increased harassment by being even more defiant. “I don’t let those fellers look into my wagon at all,” said one resident. Another resident had a more creative way to deal with revenue agent checkpoints. “I had me an old beat up wagon on its last leg. I loaded that son of a bitch up with cow and horse shit and drove it into the middle of the checkpoint. Then I disconnected my horse, jumped on it and rode off.” He had a good laugh before realizing I missed the punch line. “Oh yeah, forgot I strapped a stick a dynamite underneath and lit before I rode off. I heard the boom and the hollering. I imagined the disgust and the vomit.”
Train attacked passing through the Heartlands
By Emery Cosberry
A train carrying valuables pulled out of Valentine with extra guards, who would end up earning their pay as the train faced a relentless assault. Driving through the Heartland oil fields the train’s defenders had to fight off attackers from both sides. The attackers often had the height advantage, forcing the defenders to carefully take their shots from a disadvantaged position. The attackers started to relent just past the oil fields as the train entered into a tunnel. The attack, however, was far from over.
Just as the light could be seen at the end of the tunnel, the train suddenly came to a screeching halt. The train was blocked by a wagon on the tracks. “At that point I thought we were done for,” said one of the train’s riders. “I saw that we couldn’t move forward and some fellers on horses were coming from behind!” The rider went on to describe how a cowpoke tossed their rifle over their shoulder, pulled out a pistol in each hand and jumped off the train. The cowpoke rushed toward the wagon on the tracks and suddenly others fell in line behind to provide cover fire. Soon the wagon was off the tracks and the train was on its way.
The train continued on its way until reaching Emerald Station where it picked up more goods. Assaults continued for the rest of the trip but the defenders did not face anything like the assault in the oil fields. One cowpoke did reveal himself to be a turncoat, as he turned on his fellow defenders during a heavy assault. However, a defender bumped the turncoat off the train, where they were promptly ran over.
Of course you do! Buy a stew pot for your camp today! Compatible with camps of all sizes, the stew pot allows you a hardy meal full of nutrients. Much more fulfilling than seasoned meat! Only $650!
Receive a 30% discount on this item with the Wheeler, Rawson, and Co. Outlaw Pass No. 2.
Gunmen shoot up Annesburg, leaving dozens dead
Van R. Seldon
A posse of cowpokes rode into Annesburg this week with ill intentions. Witnesses report that they rode into the town slowly as if they did not have a care in the world. “I knew they was up to no good, I tell you!” said a resident who says he hid during the shooting. Two of the gunmen dismounted and climbed the stairs into the Jameson Mine and Coal Company, where they could look down on the town below. The others spread up around the town. Witnesses reported that the strangers brought with them tension and a fresh blanket of fog.
“As folk started going back about their business, it started,” said a witness. The gunshot pierced the fog, followed by another. Those still on the streets ran in a panic, unable to see a few feet in front of them due to the thick fog. Annesburg deputies responded quickly, but were not ready for such a focused and coordinated assault. They attempted to fire back at the attackers, but every time they attempted to aim their weapons they were fired on. “If it wasn’t for the damn fog, my deputies would have gotten it under control,” claimed Annesburg Sheriff Jones.
Most would agree that while the fog made the deputies’ job difficult, the skill and coordination of the gunmen made impossible. “It don’t make any sense,” said on of the responding deputies, “I couldn’t see shit. Every now and then I’d see the flash of a gun in the fog and aim in that direction, only to get fired on before I could pull the trigger!” Sheriff Jones echoed the complaint, “it was like these fellers could see through the fog! Can you believe that.” Many deputies and Annesburg residents were killed in the initial assault. Residents eventually hunkered down and because there were no more targets, the shooting stopped.
The tension remained high the entire time. “Nobody was quite sure if it was safe to come out,” said a surviving resident. An hour after the shooting stopped the fog finally cleared up. Annesburg was lit under the bright late morning sun for another several hours before a resident finally decided to take their chances. “I ain’t no hero,” said the man who risked his life. “I needed to get to work, don’t think the foreman gonna excuse me for being late.” The gunmen were gone. When I asked Sheriff Jones how he knew the gunmen were gone and not still in town, he kindly asked me to leave.
Gilded Age Run Amok in Saint-Denis
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Freelancer)
Last week was the festival popularly known as Mardi Gras. Held in many American states but mostly known for being held in Saint-Denis. It’s been held since at least 1699, and while it’s supposed to be a solemn observance of Catholic beliefs, it’s really an excuse to celebrate being alive. By being alive, we, of course, mean lots of parades, dancing, and drinking. Local Saint-Denis police officers are well used to the event and dread it every year. Local chief Benjamin Lambert laments the event with almost clockwork timing.
“Wrong as it is to say, but I dread this event almost more than the occasional gunfight or lynch mob. I know it makes a lot of money each year, hence why the esteemed mayor Lemieux actively supports it. I just wish it wasn’t so much a mess of debauchery.”
Debauchery is definitely the word to describe the event, as the streets were packed with just about every sinful activity imaginable. Local officers had to chase off countless women who were either disrobing or were dressed the same as the day they were born.
A local artist named Charles Châtenay was giving out free paintings depicting less than tasteful situations. Socialite Lillian Powell had to be arrested for fighting with a couple while intoxicated with cocaine. Doyles Tavern reportedly made a large sum of money selling such Saint-Denis staple food like rice and beans. So much so that the road leading to the tavern was covered in human vomit.
La Bastille Tavern, the most popular saloon in town, was packed all day and night. Of particular notice was a masked female fiddle player dressed all in red, who would play whatever song was asked if you tipped her with whiskey. Things eventually escalated until the woman was reported to have undone her corset, exposed herself because the crowd demanded it. As the night began to wrap up, the woman took off her veiled mask, revealing herself to be the Outlaw Queen Myra Rose Hart herself. Instead of getting violent, she is said to have grabbed a nearby working girl and kissed her on the lips before walking out of the saloon as fireworks exploded overhead.
By next morning the inevitable cleanup routine began. The death count was evidently lower than usual, only three people were run over by parade floats along with one man passing out in the Lannahechee River. Countless citizens grumbled about how awful the holiday is, but they all know deep down that it’s a part of Saint-Denis identity and will never go away.
Medicine stolen in route to Saint Denis
Aloysius Levron
A wealthy man in Saint Denis was robbed this week, though indirectly. Mr. Matthias H. Whitefield ordered medicine and other supplies, concerned that the cholera and the “wretched plague” would cross New Austin’s borders and wind up in Saint Denis. Other wealthy socialites have also asked the Lemoyne government to limit travel. Saint Denis has been stricken with fear over claims that the plagues of Armadillo are “foreign” in origin and many residents are looking upon its diverse immigrant population with suspicion. Though such travel bans are unlikely to be implemented at this time, authorities caution anyone who is sick from traveling as there have been stories of sick people being killed on sight.
Mr. Whitefield’s wagon was stolen before it got to him, however he has suspicions about where the supplies have turned up. His own private investigators have claimed the supplies found their way to prostitutes. However, the investigators have returned with no leads regarding who is responsible for the theft. The Saint Denis police have been equally as baffled. Mr. Whitefield is now hoping that the considerable reach of the Five States Herald will help him find his wagon. He is offering a large sum of money to anyone that has information that leads to the capture of the guilty parties. In interest of full disclosure, this paper was offered a finder’s fee should this story help lead to the arrest of the thieves. Well, actually he threatened to sue us, blaming a recently ran story as the reason for the theft. But, we will gladly take a finder’s fee instead.
One thief has been described as a young man of small stature, who walks with a nervous gait. The man was seen with others, but no names or further descriptions were reported. If you know anything about this theft, you are encouraged to report it directly to the Five States Herald for safe keeping until receipt of its finder’s fee.
The Chickasaw and Choctaw sign the Atoka Agreement, finally leaving Indian Territory
By Adam Parvey
The Chickasaw and their Choctaw cousins were two of the last tribes to leave their ancestral homeland during the evacuation of Indian people into Indian Territory. What some have begun calling the Trail of Tears, resulted in the death of thousands of Indians. Decades later, the Indian tribes would be asked to move again as part of the Curtis Act. The Chickasaw and Choctaw once again acted defiantly. “We were forced from our ancestral homes and we came to accept our new homes. Now they force us to move again,” said one member of the Chickasaw tribe. Noted Chickasaw tracker Akanowa has left the Five States to assist her tribe in its relocation efforts. After a long delay, the Chickasaw and Choctaw people will comply with the Curtis Act, but not before making arrangements for safe travel into new lands.
First major battle of Spanish-American war fought, Spain’s Navy is devastated
By Ive Seager
Small skirmishes around the U.S. blockade of Cuba have been the most common interaction between the two nations since war broke out. However, the two great powers have collided in Manila Bay. Spain has been desperately trying to maintain its dominance in the Philippines, something that was under threat with the start of the war and U.S. pledges to support an independent Philippines nation. The significant portion of the Spanish Navy was stationed around the Philippines. Given the Spanish Navy’s reputation, many feared the Spanish would launch an attack of their own on the west coast of the United States. However, Commodore George Dewey led the U.S. Navy in attacking at Manila Bay. The attack was fierce and totally destroyed the Spanish Navy. The battle has tarnished the allure of power the Spanish Navy projected and signals that this war may be a short one.
The Five States Herald 