Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Barrier between worlds is said to be repairing, no longer thin enough to be passed through
News that the barrier between worlds is thickening once again comes as a relief to cowpokes all over the Five States. Many residents faced off against doppelgangers of themselves, their own horse, or other “dark creatures” said to roam the Five States while the barrier between worlds was thin. Dr. W. Bishop, who discovered another a world and is the leading theorist regarding multiple dimensions and traversing paralell worlds, said he observed a sharp decline in incidents. “The so called, dark creatures,” Dr. Bishop said, “haven’t been seen for a few days and we saw a steady decline in sightings this week.” Dr. Bishop added, “from my observations and tests, it appears that the barrier between worlds is reparing itself.” Regarding the doppelgangers, Dr. Bishop said he had plenty of time to disect and study a few dead ones. “Ah yes, the doppelgangers, as you call them, are actually shapeshifters,” said Dr. Bishop, pausing to take a sip of a drink he invented but has no name for it, “it’s strawberry and ice cream, but where were we? Yes, shapeshifters, they are insidious creatures, partly mechanical, that take the identity of others. Brilliant but insidious!”
With the barrier thickening, Dr. Bishop believes there will be a decline in doppelgangers, but not a complete end to sightings. “The dark creatures only came over because the barrier was thing,” Dr. Bishop explained, “the shapeshifters have their own means of crossing the barrier, which could result in the barrier becoming thinner once again.” For now, he says everyone in the Five States are completely safe from dark creatures, but they should be on the look out for their doppelgangers. “I suggest shooting on sight,” said Dr. Bishop, “if you see someone that looks like you, do not hesitate. Shoot them! Unless you have a twin, then in which case you may want to ensure it is not your twin you are shooting.”
Trader given a free escort by well meaning posse
By Jose Chavez
A trader left their camp, which was just outside Tumbleweed, intending to deliver goods to a customer a long ways away. Soon after departing a posse of cowpokes surrounded them, giving them a bit of a fright. “You hear about folks being ambushed by groups all the time, so I had my concern that I was about to be robbed,” said the trader, “however, one of them tipped their hat and asked if they needed an escort.” The trader, who later admitted their partner was several states away, accepted the offer. “If they were gonna rob me, I couldn’t stop them,” the trader shrugged, “so I figured I had nothing to lose, either they robbed me later or maybe they really meant to help.” The trader admitted that they were nervous the entire trip, however, they were glad to have the help when they arrived at the delivery location. “A couple dozen men had my buyers pinned down and my escort made short work of them,” the trader said. Once the outlaws were dead, the trader made the delivery successfully. “They never even asked for anything,” the trader said of the posse that escorted them. After the delivery, they all tipped their hats and rode off. “I’m glad to have had their help!” the trader said.
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Explorer claims to explore the Tempest Rim, possibly first in Five States to do so
By Delphia Atwood
Ken, of Ken’s Uncharted Tours, has claimed to have led an expedition into the Tempest Rim. The region of Ambarino has been completely inaccessible to humans, with no known paths into the Rim. Through the years, several expeditions have attempted to explore the Tempest Rim. Many of those expeditions had a significant amount of fanfare surrounding their trip. However, all but a single man have disappeared, presumed to have died on their expedition. That single survivor, however, was not unchanged.
The survivor, left unnamed for his protection, was a “shadow of a man” after his return. His party went missing and a week later he showed up in Strawberry. The survivor did not recognize people he knew and could not describe where he had been or what he had seen. As a result, there is no proof that this man had even visited the Tempest Rim, with many suggesting that disaster struck his party long before they made it to the Rim. Ken, the guide to have found a path into the Pacific Rim, not only survived, but led a small group into the area. Further, he states that he has proof of expedition, aside from just the witnesses that went with him. Ken has slowly been building up a reputation in the Five States for his Uncharted Tours, where he takes cowpokes on trails that are “off the map” as he says. “There are places not marked on the map, places only known by a few,” Ken said, “I’m one of them and so I take the willing on adventures they will never forget.” Ken has promised further expeditions into the region as well as evidence of his trips.
If the claims prove to be true, Ken may very well be the first person in the Five States to enter the Tempest Rim. A claim we will work to verify.
Tall Trees attacker killed
By Odell Clifton
An outlaw believed to be new to the Five States attacked a man who was hunting small animals. “It wasn’t clear that he meant any harm at first,” said the would be victim. However, as he put a squirrel carcass into his bag he felt a rope go over him. “I knew in an instant this bastard wanted to hotgie me,” the cowpoke said. The attacker pulled the rope, tightening the lasso around the cowpoke’s ankles and then pulling him to the ground. “He was a bit too confident, like he had no idea I wasn’t in the vulnerable position he thought,” said the victim of the attack. They pulled out their knife and cut themselves free while the attacker still approached. “By the time he realized what happened I was standing and had my gun drawn,” said the cowpoke. Before the attacker could pull out their own weapon, the victim opened fire and killed his attacker. “I left the body there,” said the attacked cowpoke, “bastard ain’t of much value alive, but dead, he has lots of value to scavengers.”
Woman shoots up Blackwater, escapes after killing half a dozen police
By Nick McCrary
Reports came in of an attack on Blackwater this week. Lawmen from Valentine rounded up a posse after receiving the telegraph and headed straight to Blackwater. The report indicated that an unidentified woman started shooting local policeman. “I heard the gunshot, which ain’t to uncommon but sounded far closer than it should have been,” said a Blackwater lawman. He stepped out of the Police Department office and was shot on sight. He was a lucky one, having only been wounded. Many other lawmen were killed in the woman’s shooting rampage. She fled north before reinforcements arrived. The posse from Valentine said they did pass by a woman, but thought nothing of it at the time. “She seemed pleaseant enough, even greeted us warmly,” one of the posse members said. However, based on their description, it is believed they passed by the shooter. Backtracking proved unsuccessful and the woman is still at large.
Strange Travelers Confuse Five States
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
We all know how it feels to be out of time, unaware of what’s up to date in our society. But that feeling has been taken to a new level in recent days. More and people, strange people have been seen throughout the Five States. These individuals speak with a peculiar accent and wear clothing that doesn’t match any known fashion sense. What they talk about is even stranger.
They talk about a man flying in the sky like birds. Of metal vehicles that move without horses and require oil to run. One even mentioned a weapon that burns with the power of the sun! Several citizens were greatly concerned by these vague descriptions and warnings, with one man believing them to be demons in disguise.
I can’t explain what’s going on with these travelers. Perhaps they are just drunk or on some unknown substance; a man wearing a multicolored poncho isn’t something a rational person would do. But then again, maybe they do know the future, in the way spiritualists claim to see what tomorrow brings. We truly never know our world as well as we think; perhaps our ancestors or future children have found a way to communicate. Or maybe we are just being paranoid, and it’s all normal and natural; who’s to say?
Valentine brawl ends so quickly few noticed it
By Donna Deshner
Valentine is no stranger to chaos. It hosts more shootouts than any other town, and by host, do not assume I mean official. Folks often head to Valentine to shoot up the town and test the response of lawmen. It also hosts less deadly brawls. “So called fight clubs have taken place in empty barns,” said Sheriff Curtis Malloy, “we tolerate them because they don’t hurt others and it seems a constructive way to rid oneself of built up frustrations.” Other, less tolerated brawls, often take place at the Smithfield’s the most popular saloon in Valentine. On occasion, brawls even take place right on the open streets. This is one of those occasions, though it ended so quickly that most did not know it started.
According to two witnesses, a man walked right up to another man in an, “aggressive manner.” “He just walked up and took a swing at that other man!” the witness said. However, the other man stepped back and dodged the attack and countered with his own punch. “The attacker just snarled and dodged and tried punching again,” the second witness said. The attacked cowpoke managed to dodge the second attack as deftly as the first. The witnesses both state that the attacked cowpoke then leaned down a bit before “exploding” with an upper cut strike. That punch came with such force that the attacker was, “knocked on his ass from just that one blow and he stayed there.” By the time the man woke up, the cowpoke he attacked was gone from the town, though he made no mention of wanting revenge. A local lawman nearly arrested him for public drunkenness, not aware of the first fight, but instead let them go. “We usually arrest drunks so they can sleep it off, keep ’em from causing trouble,” said a lawman, “but he seemed to have already slept it off.” The witnesses said that the other man in the fight is a Valentine regular, but would not reveal their name.
Bootlegger crashed wagon in swamp after being chased by Revenuers
By Mathilde Orry
Revenue agents pursued bootleggers after they failed to stop at a checkpoint, forcing their wagon off the road and into the swamp. Revenuers claimed that everything seemed fine, “the driver started slowing the wagon, but I saw the passenger grip their shotgun tightly.” The passenger raised the shotgun and fired on the closest agent just as the driver pulled on the reins and got the wagon moving faster. Agents fired on the wagon but were unable to stop it, so they mounted up and gave pursuit. The chase headed south into the thick swamps south of Caliga Hall. “The roads down there are thin, with narrow risers in place where the swamp is thickest,” said one of the agents, “it is not easily traversed on a wagon, particularly a wagon moving at high speed.” The driver managed to stay on the road for awhile as the passenger fired back at the revenuers. However, the bootleggers’ luck would eventually run out.
The bootleggers’ wagon began to sway before the driver lost control completely, going off road and getting stuck in the thick swamp. With revenuers close behind the bootleggers abandoned the wagon and its contents. “They hid in some bushes, which gave them the advantage at that point,” the revenuers said. They were unable to get a clear line of sight on the bootleggers as the bootleggers began picking them off one by one. “We stopped the illegal sell of untaxed alcohol,” said the revenuer, “and we weren’t going to lose it in a gunfight.” The revenuers then focused on surrounding the stuck wagon, preventing the bootleggers from going back to it. Eventually, the bootleggers managed to escape. “We aren’t quite sure when, but the shooting stopped while we were securing the wagon,” said the lead revenuer. The moonshine that was not damaged was taken in as evidence.
Rare Bible on Display in Saint-Denis
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Unique artifacts of great value come and go through Saint-Denis all the time. Rare diamonds, ancient artifacts from civilizations past, it’s all been here one time or another. But arriving this week, the latest artifact of value is quite remarkable.
On loan from New York is a rare Gutenberg Bible, one of the first mass-produced items in world history. First printed around the 1450s by Johannes Gutenberg, creator of the printing press, these Bibles are precious. According to British historians, only 49 copies from this era have survived to the modern-day.
The value of this item is beyond comprehension; it is more or less considered invaluable. This has led to it being targeted by criminals. In the 1860s, a gang of Confederate spies tried to steal it, but they thankfully failed. In the decades since, all sorts of low lives have tried to pilfer it, but none have succeeded.
Doubtless, some will try to take it; once again they are unlikely to get it. The artifact has around-the-clock security, and the guards are all former Pinkerton Agents that are paid by the hour. So come down and see history in the flesh, but don’t dare think of touching it.
Saloons see massive spike in purchases
By Adam Parvey
Saloon operators are reporting a significant rise in sells late this week. Though the saloon owners were surprised by the surge in business, they all expressed gratitude for it. “I haven’t sold this much alcohol since before moonshiners started selling directly,” said one saloon owner, before adding, “not that I sold it for them at any point in an indirect fashion…” Most of the saloon owners also reported that most stopped drinking after five drinks. “It was the damdest thing, they’d be drinking and enjoying themselves and then after the fifth drink, they’d just stop,” said the operator of the Saint Denis Saloon. Even the “cursed” town of Armadillo saw a rise in visitors. “Ain’t much here safe to drink but the booze,” said the Armadillo saloon owner, “but I saw a lot more folks than usual come by, hopefully they didn’t catch nothing.”
In Van Horn, a patron was said to order drinks without actually drinking them. “This feller ordered a drink and then threw it on the floor, then ordered another,” said the bartender, “all in all, they dropped five bottles of beer on the floor. Paid for it all the same, just odd behavior.” As it turns out, the surge of saloon patrons was driven by the Bureau for Harmonious and Tenacious Negotiations and Capitalization (BHTNC). The group of wealthy investors offered a gold nugget bonus to cowpokes purchases drinks at any saloon in the Five States.
New cases of yellow fever in Mississippi, origin unknown
By Frederick Vannesse
Health officials in Lafayette County have confirmed four cases of yellow fever have been identified. However, they are not certain as to the origin of this breakout. The four cases are all in Taylor, Mississippi, a town that was spared by the yellow fever inspection of last year. It is suspected that the source is within the town itself, though officials admitted it would be impossible to discover an external origin. Health officials are concerned that these four cases may only be the beginning, but they are optimistic that an epidemic will not be forthcoming. “We have isolated the four infected people and have begun treating them,” said a local doctor. Other localities in Mississippi have reported cases that have similar symptoms to yellow fever, but have not made an official diagnosis. The infected patients are being watched and travelers monitored to ensure a significant breakout does not occur.
‘Naturalist’ play premieres in Berlin
By Ivy Seager
The play Fuhrmann Henschel premiered in Berlin early this month to great praise. The play, written by Gerhart Hauptmann, follows the naturalistic tradition. That tradition seeks to portray its characters in a realistic setting while being motivated by realistic goals. There are no ghosts, gods, or monsters in these plays. Nor will you find characters is bizarre locations. These plays are set in the very towns we all live in, such that we may believe it is we ourselves being represented in the play. Fuhrmann Henschel is a five act play and focuses on the psychological dimensions of the main character, Mr. Henschel. Throughout the five acts, the audience gets to know Mr. Henschel and the trials that shape who he becomes by the end. With the naturalistic based setting, the audience is almost forced to put themselves in Mr. Henschel’s shoes and wonder what they may do if they were in his place. The popularity of the play may very well require that it come overseas, though some wonder if its shocking ending may put off others.
The Five States Herald 