Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Controversy erupts after BHTNC admits that “any good opportunity” is “devoid of upfront expenditures”
By Adam Parvey
The BHTNC has been hitting the press hard in recent weeks to remind residents that it is still invested in the future of the Five States. This week it announced new opportunities are coming but ignited a fire storm of criticism when it said good opportunities are devoid of upfront payments. Many cowpokes began crying foul immediately. “The BHTNC invested in several jobs in the Five States, but they charged us to take the jobs,” said one cowpoke, “were those bad opportunities?” Other cowpokes were suddenly questioning whether the BHTNC was actually investing in the Five States at all. “It seems they are extracting gold from residents while offering them jobs for cash,” an anonymous woman said, “that cash value is going to keep dropping while gold value keeps going up, the BHTNC are making out like thieves.” “Why did the BHTNC charge us to take these jobs a year ago only for them to now say good opportunities don’t come with upfront charges?” another cowpoke asked, “were we bamboozled?”
The BHTNC has yet to issue a comment to elaborate on what they meant with the controversial statement.
Man thrown off train after attacking rider
By Jose Chavez
A woman was attacked while riding the train on Friday. The attacker boarded the train and at first appeared to be peaceful themselves. The intended victim, a woman named Olive, said she noticed the man get too close, but gave him the benefit of the doubt. However, the man pulled out a pistol and fired on her. Despite the close range, the man missed his mark, only managing to graze her shoulder. She was quick to respond, knocking the gun from the attacker’s hand and shoving him right off of the moving train. The man landed hard but Olive left nothing to chance, as witnesses to the event said she promptly pulled out a hand gun and finished him off. Witnesses applauded Olive’s quick thinking and skillful display.
Woman found dead just outside the Wapiti Reservation
By Jane Duran
A traveler reported finding a body after scaring off a skulk of foxes. The body had been thoroughly scavenged, making identifying the body impossible. The traveler also reported that a damaged camera was found nearby. Moreover, there were large bite marks on the body as well, indicating a larger animal did the killing. The film in the camera was not damaged and the traveler developed it. They contacted us hours before print to inform us that the last picture was of an Onyx Wolf, suggesting that the legendary wolf is likely what killed her.
Stress Drives Man Mad in Blackwater
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Just this week, a local in Blackwater drove his cart around the town in circles for hours. He didn’t say a word; he merely kept driving. Hour after hour, he went through the town square and the many cobblestone roads. His name was Stanley; he was just an average worker in a bustling boomtown. But for some reason, he decided that day was the day he couldn’t go any further.
Police eventually grew tired of this cry for help and blocked the road. It led to an altercation where Stanley’s horse had to be put down sadly. He’s still in jail as of this writing. He hasn’t done anything drastic, nor has he said much. It seems life itself was just too much for an average man like him.
Upcoming Wheeler, Rawson, and Co. club pass the most “unanticipated” pass of all time
By Adam Parvey
Wheeler, Rawson, and Co. announced that a new club pass, dubbed the “Outlaw Pass,” will be available to Five States residents soon. As is usual, the company is keeping the content of the pass a secret until it is released. However, it seems that most residents have reacted to the announcmenet with a shrug. “The last pass was disappointing, did you know it was just stuff that was deemed unfit for the last pass?” one cowpoke said. “After the last few club exclusives, I’m not holding my breath for this next one,” another cowpoke remarked. The most common complaint about past club passes has been that most content is unneeded for long time residents. “Those Wheeler and Rawson folks like to include ammo, food, and discounts,” a resident said, “those of us who have been here awhile don’t need that stuff, we got it all in abundance already.” Evidence that this is not the thoughts of just one person can be seen at any general store, where the floors are often littered with coupons. “Folks come in to shop and show us coupons,” a shopkeeper said, “when we show them the items the coupons apply to they get mad and throw the coupons all over the floor.”
Some cowpokes, however, hold out some hope. They point out at that the pass may be lackluster, but consumers have the opportunity to preview the included items. “If you don’t like what the pass has, you don’t have to buy it,” a cowpoke said flatly, “nobody is forced to buy the pass.” Others shared similar sentiments. “The pass may be full of filler type stuff that’s useless to most, but there are a few nice items that make it worth it in the end,” one woman said. Whatever the contents of the upcoming pass, opinions are sure to remain divided.
Valentine residents report being harassed by travelers
By Emery Cosberry
Late this week residents in Valentine began complaining about traveling strangers harassing them. Local lawmen dismissed the first reports as the “complaints of soft folk.” However, after similar stories continued to be reported, a pattern emerged. “Not sure why, but these attackers would just kind of goad locals,” said Sheriff Curtis Malloy, “then as soon as the harassed local attacked, the harasser would tackle them to the ground.” Such occurrences continued to be reported regularly throughout the day. A few times deputies were close to capturing the attackers. “I saw it happen, fella just kept getting in a rancher’s face until the rancher pushed back,” said a witness, “then the fella tackled him to the ground!” The witness then ran to the sheriff’s office. Lawmen responded quickly, but by the time they arrived the local was kneeling and shaking their head, having been struck in the head by their attacker. When nightfall came, reports of attackers baiting their victims into a fight dropped to zero.
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Federal and local lawmen alike targeted by the Lemoyne Raiders
By Aloysius Levron
After federal agents crossed into Lemoyne state lines multiple times, the Lemoyne Raiders have become more aggressive. All over Lemoyne, lawmen have been being captured by the Raiders. Such incidents are not exactly uncommon. The Lemoyne Raiders attack federal agents unprovoked regularly, however there has been an increase in attacks. Several federal agents have been reported missing and an unknown number of agents have been confirmed to have been killed. Local lawmen are troubled as a result of the Lemoyne Raiders targeting local lawmen in addition to federal agents. An arrested Raider named Zachariah Rowding said, “so-called local law in Lemoyne is corrupt or just federal lapdogs.” Before being transported from Saint Denis Police Station to Sisika Penitentiary, Rowding proudly explained that the Lemoyne Raiders were targeting not just federal agents, but all those who “aid and ‘a bet'” them. From their perspective, the local and state governments of Lemoyne have become tools of the federal government. “Us Raiders are the only true protectors Lemoynians got!” Rowding yelled as he was loaded into a prison wagon.
Several Lemoyne policemen were assigned to the escort in case the Lemoyne Raiders showed up. Though the gang did show up, they did not engage the policemen or attempt to rescue Rowding. Residents of Saint Denis mostly attempted to avoid the Lemoyne Raiders, with many commenting on their “offensive scent.”
Porcelain Dolls, creepy or not?
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Dolls, we all have them in our attic somewhere. I myself had a beloved doll named Rebecca when I was younger, who I still think of from time to time. But have you looked at these childhood favorites lately? Many of them were made of porcelain, and they… haven’t aged very well.
They look like someone whose soul has corroded away. The eyes grow bloodshot and cracked; the skin seems more inhuman. It’s truly a terrifying image, looking like a failed creation of flesh and blood. Yet, many people still stand by these designs.
The dolls of the future seem to favor simple designs of straw and stitching. Something that will degrade in less gruesome manners, but the appeal for porcelain still stands. Nostalgia hangs heavy for these designs, but I’m not above understanding it. I long for the memories of childhood every so often. The feeling is fleeting but comforting even in the darkest hour of the night. Sure they might be scary, but they remind someone of home and family.
Will Porcelain dolls forever vanish? I doubt it, the demand will rise and fall like the stars, but it will always remain. What is old and outdated to someone is fresh and new to someone else.
United States Navy Hospital Corp established
By Frederick Vannesse
President Alfred MacAlister has signed the United States navy Hospital Corp into existence this week. As navies across the globe modernize their medical response units, President MacAlister has been pressured to modernize the U.S. Navy. Congress acted fast to get a bill on the president’s desk, which was signed promptly. The bill creates three new ratings: hospital apprentice, hospital apprentice first class, and hospital steward. “This new corp will keep the U.S. Navy at peak efficiency and ensure it is able to defend the United States for decades to come,” announced President MacAlister at the signing.
Emperor Guangxu receives philosopher Kang Youwei
By Ivy Seager
The Qing Dynasty continues to champion reform policies in China. While reform has already started, Emperor Guangxu has shown his committment to future reforms by inviting Kang Youwei to the Zijin Cheng, the name of the Chinese imperial palace that roughly translates to Forbidden City. Traditionalists have protested the relationship between Kang Youwei and the Qing Dynasty to no avail. Tension continues to grow as the Qing Dynasty has been unable to satisfy the complaints of traditionalists, who want a complete end to reforms and are said to be unwilling compromise.
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