Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Following rumors of criminal activity growing in the Five States, the BHTNC authorizes bonuses for dismantling outlaw hideouts
The BHTNC has responded to the rumors of increased criminal activity with unexpected aggression. “We have been accused of turning a blind eye to criminal activity and so the best thing we can do to prove that this accusation false is to address it aggressively,” said a spokesman for the group. The BHTNC offered gold nuggets to any cowpoke willing to clear out at least two gang hideouts in the Five States. Gang hideouts are a scourge that the law had a difficult time dealing with. “They are often outside of our local jurisdiction, or we lack resources to patrol the wilderness, where they can easily hide,” said a lawman who asked not to be named, “I applaud the BHTNC for encouraging gunslinging cowpokes to search for and destroy gang hideouts.” Reports of gang hideouts being dismantled all across the Five States started to come in by midday Saturday. The BHTNC had several representatives in towns waiting to verify the claims of gang hideouts being cleared out.
“We were quite busy,” said one of those representatives, “fella would come in and say they cleared out some hideouts and told us where they were, then we rode out and verified before paying out the gold. The program is being considered a massive success. The BHTNC claimed that over 50 hideouts had been cleared out across the Five States, with one third of them being found in Lemoyne. The long term impact of this program is yet to be seen but the BHTNC has announced that it will continue to periodically offer bonuses for hideout clearing to keep criminal networks for expanding.
Trader hogties thief and leaves them in the desert sun
By Jose Chavez
A cowpoke rode into Tumbleweed sunburned and dehydrated this week. They claimed to have been left for dead by an “uncaring trader of animal skins.” The cowpoke claimed to have witnessed the trader deliver a wagon of goods only to be attacked by more than a dozen outlaws. “They was killing them well enough, so figured I’d um, well, take some stuff off the dead folks,” said the cowpoke, “they wasn’t gonna need it anymore.” The trader, however, noticed and appeared to take offense. “I was about to loot a body when I found myself all wrapped in something,” the cowpoke said. The gunshots continued, but the trader managed to get to the cowpoke and hogtie them before finishing off the rest of the attackers. The cowpoke said after several minutes the trader tightened the restraints and rode off. “I finally wiggled free and came straight here,” the cowpoke said. Sheriff Freeman said that based on the story, no crime was committed so no search party was formed to find the trader.
Several outlaws escape when bounty hunter fails to stay on horse
By Delphia Atwood
A group of bounty hunters teamed up to capture several wanted outlaws in Ambarino in a large bounty capturing operation. However, despite having a dozen bounty hunters working together, several bounties managed to escape when one bounty hunter crashed his horse three times in a row. The bounty hunter in question was tasked with patrolling a narrow area and had just caught a trail when the crashed into the sign post of an abandoned building. They shook off the daziness and mounted their horse again only to immediately crash into another building. During this time other bounty hunters moved into the area to help, which left other areas unpatrolled. The bounty hunter who crashed managed mount his horse again only to crash a third and final time. Though he managed to get on his horse and stay on it, the search had been delayed enough to allow several outlaws to escape. The entire operation has been called a poorly planned failure. A member of the BHTNC mentioned that it might be time to require horse riding licenses for all bounty hunters.
Wildlife flourishes in Big Valley following 24 hours of no hunting
By Daisy Fairman
Naturalists convinced several hunters to give up hunting in the Big Valley region in exchange for gold nuggets. Big Valley is a popular region for hunters, being abundant with wildlife such as deer and grizzly bears. Additionally, Big Valley is just north of Strawberry, a small hunting town with rooms ready to be rented by visitors. It is due to the frequency of hunting in Big Valley that it was chosen for this project by the naturalists. Several naturalists camped out in the area watching for hunters and noted that all they saw was flourishing groups of animals. The group of naturalists maintained their vigil long into the night, patrolling the wooded and grassy areas of the region. As morning arrived, the naturalists rode to Strawberry and rewarded the hunters their with gold nuggets for exercising restraint and not hunting for 24 hours. However, most of the hunters pocketed their gold and immediately rode off into Big Valley to hunt.
Cats, not Man’s Best Friend According to Statistics
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
The old saying goes, a dog is a man’s best friend. Well, spare a thought for cats. Cat ownership in the Five States is limited, to put it mildly. There isn’t really a store that sells cats, or any known breeders in significant cities. I suppose the market is just too small. Please don’t mistake me, there are cat owners in the Five States, but the number is about as large as the number of fingers a human possesses.
Where did those cats come from? The assumption is wild cats; there is a decent population of feral cats in the Five States, not counting cougars or panthers, of course. Domesticating them is definitely a challenge that takes an ungodly amount of time. Is it all worth it? Well, if you like cats, the answer is almost surely yes. Farmers and shopkeepers also tend to like them; mice are quite a problem if you store grain anywhere. Yet all of this still isn’t enough to convince 99 percent of cowpokes and homeowners to get a cat.
Sometimes people just don’t make any sense. You would think this would be an untapped well of potential for people wanting to make a quick buck. But I guess that just isn’t the case.
Shootouts along the Lannahechee River become frighteningly common
By Van R. Seldon
The Lannahechee River was the host to multiple gunfights over the weekend. Witnesses reporting seeing several ships moving south down the river while being pursued by revenue agents. The agents reportedly were in pursuit on both land and on the river, with several boats attempting to board the ships. Most of the ships managed to fight past the revenue agents, killing many of them before they could get close to the ship. However, one ship was able to be stopped. Agents on land kept a constant stream of fire at the ship, keeping the gunmen defending hiding behind cover. This allowed several boats of agents to get close enough to the ship to sink it with dynamite. The defenders kept fighting as the ship went down and were killed in the shootout. The Bureau of Internal Revenue has not released any information regarding their agents shooting at ships on the Lannahechee River. Many have speculated that the involvement of revenue agents means it was related to bootlegging. Several Lemoyne locals who part of the Lemoyne Raiders harassed agents as they approached Lemoyne, preventing the agents from pursuing the ships further south. The single ship that was sunk came aground not far from Lemoyne. Agent quickly searched the wreckage for evidence before retreating at the sight of the Lemoyne Raiders who showed up. I was unable to speak to a Raider to learn what was in teh wreckage, however, reports of moonshine filled parties spead across bayou.
Man boasts about 14 pound catfish, says “all you need are worms.”
By Emeline Vickroy
A man known as Mr. Jones has shown that fishing is a skill one never forgets. After taking a break from fishing, Mr. Jones decided to ease back into the activity using worms as bait. Worms often attract smaller fish that are easier to reel in. However, Mr. Jones soon found himself in quite the battle between man and fish. “I knew it wasn’t a small fish right away, but turns out it wasn’t even a medium sized fish either!” Mr. Jones exclaimed. After over ten minutes of fighting Mr. Jones reeled in a channel catfish weighing 14lbs 14 oz. Other fishermen witnessed the feat and were shocked to learn that Mr. Jones used only worms to pull in such an impressive catch. Many of the fisherman switched to worms themselves, however none were able to catch a large catfish, though a few brought in much smaller bullhead catfish.
WANTED!
Investigators: Travel the Five States and report on what is going on.
Writers: Write the stories investigators find!
Photographers:
To take photographs to be used in the Herald.
Can also do all three!
Nation Gripped by Female Poisoner
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
It seems to be that time of year again, when the only thing people are thinking about is a ghastly murder and a trial for all to see. Reporters from New York to California are already calling it the crime of the century. As if the 20 or so other crimes of the century before it didn’t matter. This murder is truly a tale as old as time; a jealous lover kills a spouse. I suppose what makes this one unique is the gender of the people in question.
Cordelia Botkin is a 41-year-old woman living in San Francisco. Most people describe the chain-smoker as lonely and quick to anger. Three years ago, she fell in love with a local reporter named John Dunning; the only problem is, he was already married to a woman named Elizabeth. The two had an affair that went on for years, but eventually, Dunning felt guilty about cheating on his wife. He ended the affair shortly before joining the war with Spain, returning as a hero.
While most people would just cut their losses, Botkin refused to admit defeat. She began sending threatening letters to Elizabeth, detailing the affair. It all peaked last week when she sent her a box of candy. Two days later, Elizabeth and her sister Ida were dead from arsenic poisoning. It took only days to trace the candy to a shop in San Francisco, and to miss Botkin.
Public sentiment is mixed; some people are angrier at a man cheating on his wife, believing his actions led to this. Others think this woman deserves to hang for ruining a family. The trial outcome is entirely up in the air, and will remain so for quite some time. After that, it’ll be remembered until the next crime of the century, which will hopefully happen in the actual next century.
Evan “The Strangler” Lewis humbled by the “Terrible Turk“
By Rutherford X. Downing
American wrestling champion Evan “The Strangler” Lewis lost his Heavyweight Championship to the “Terrible Turk” Youssouf Ishmaelo. Ishmaelo sparked considerable controversy while on tour here in the United States, defeating every American wrestler who has accepted his challenge. His only loss came as a result of disqualification to Ernest Roeber, though the Terrible Turk’s handlers point to Ishmaelo’s manhandling of Roeber as evidence that Roeber would have lost should the referee had not got involved. Evan Lewis has gained a reputation is a talented grappler, able to overcome larger opponents with his speed and technical skill. However, Lewis was unable to overcome Ishmaelo’s size and considerable strength. Several times Lewis managed to wrap his limbs around the larger man, but was unable to maintain his patented sleeper hold. The Terrible Turk managed to break all of Lewis’s holds and hit him with powerful strikes and throws. The longer the match went on the more the match favored Ishmaelo, as Lewis become more and more fatigued and Ishmaelo did not. The American audience cheered on Lewis, but he was unable to recover. The cheers turned to boos when Ishmaelo slammed Lewis and pinned him for a three count. Youssouf Ishmaelo held up the American Heavyweight Championship with pride. At his request, the $5,000 purse was awarded in pure gold. With the victory, Youssouf Ishmaelo plans to leave the U.S., having accomplished everything he set out to.
Folk-Song Society established in England
By Ivy Seager
Fearing the loss of historical music, a group of music appreciators has formed to collect and preserve it. The Folk-Song Society is based in England and its primary focus is protecting folk music from England and Ireland. However, there is no formal rule in place to limit folk music from other countries. Among the founders of the group are Lucy Broadwood, Cecil Sharp, Percy Grainger, Kate Lee, George Butterworth, and Anne Gilchrist, among many others. The first secretary for the group is Lady Mary Hepburn-Stuart-Forbes-Trefusis. The first task for the group is to catalogue the folk songs they are already aware of. Mr. Cecil has assured appreciators of folk music that this first step will ensure that folk music will be protected for future generations to enjoy. The second step will be much harder and take a longer time. “We must go out and learn the songs we do not know!” said Mr. Cecil. The group is hoping that news of its existence will inspire people to submit folk songs passed down by their families. This process will take some time not just to collect the unknown songs, but to verify that the songs are not just “invented on the spot so that it can be instantly immortalized.”
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