Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Horseracing Expands, Thrilling Few
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Horse racing, the sport of kings for some, the sport of liars for others. How you feel about the event really depends on how much money you have. For the lower-income people, it’s basically a way to gamble your hard-earned money away. For the rich, it’s a status symbol, being able to rub shoulders with the rich and powerful. People in the middle of these two spectrums mostly don’t care.
So it’s no surprise that the expansion of horseracing in the Five States has drawn primarily a whimper. The average cowpoke is neither rich nor poor. They work a day-to-day job and have only a little spare time. They prefer to spend money in saloons or on fancy clothing, not on silly horses.
The rich in places like Saint-Denis and Blackwater are mostly positive at the news. Although when you have as much money as they do, they will like anything you can throw a couple grand at.
Will horseracing become the next big sport? All signs point to no. It’ll remain mostly a private hobby of the wealthy and a money trap for the poor, as it always has been.
Grey Cowboy transferred to Sisika safely
By Alois Burditt
Two weeks ago the bounty hunter Nathaniel Cross captured the Grey Cowboy and brought him to the Tumbleweed Jail. The captured man claimed that he was not the Grey Cowboy, however he was found to be in possession of a similar mask and also dressed in grey. The lawmen in charge of transporting the Grey Cowboy delayed transportation one week as a result of the story we printed two weeks ago. “Truth is, we wanted to move him when nobody was expecting it,” said Agent Danford Schofield, “so we rescheduled the move after you announced it being done last week. Beyond stating that the Grey Cowboy was successful transferred to Sisika Prison, the transporters gave no details regarding how it was executed.
I spoke to witnesses throughout New Austin to see if anybody had seen a well guarded caravan. No witnesses reported any prison wagon with a heavy escort. One witness in Tumbleweed said one night late this week he saw a rather fancy wagon depart the town with a driver, a shotgunner, and two horses. “Not what I’d call a heavily armed escort, and certainly not what I expect a prisoner to be transported in,” the witness said. Sheriff Freeman confirmed that the transporters took the Grey Cowboy on Thursday night, but said he did not oversee the transfer and so did not confirm what type of wagon was used. The Grey Cowboy is set to go on trial for vigilanteism in two weeks.
Naturalist found dead at the bottom of mountain
By Jane Duran
Carra Stokly, a well known naturalist focused on the state of Ambarino was found dead. Her colleagues stated that Ms. Stokly was in the area observing the Chalk Horn Ram and had been doing so for at least a weak. The Chalk Horn Ram is not known to be aggressive and so authorities do not believe it was a run in with the ram that left her dead. She had several bruises and cuts which investigators believe are the result of falling down the mountain. The investigators followed the trail up the mountain and found a small makeshift camp. No evidence of nearby wild animals was found at the camp leading investigators to suggest it may have been a fatal accident. “While we can’t say for certain yet,” said one of the investigators, “we believe Ms. Stokly slipped and then tumbled town the mountain.”
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Criminal cowpoke comes across bounty hunter and dies
By Nick McCrary
Two outlaws had the misfortune of riding directly into the camp of two bounty hunters. At the time that the outlaws came across the camp, only one bounty hunter was there. “I was cooking when I the shots were fired,” the bounty hunter said, “I rolled into my tent to assess the situation when my partner arrived.” The second bounty hunter had been in Blackwater and had just taken the bounty job, which had just come through the telegram. “It was our good luck that the bastard was nearby,” said the second bounty hunter. He arrived just as his partner began firing back at the outlaws. The outlaws turned their attention to the new arrival, but they were too slow. The arriving bounty hunter fired two shots, each hitting an outlaw in the chest. Only one of the attacking outlaws was a legal bounty target, so the bounty hunters left the second body to rot in the Great Plains.
Small riot nearly breaks out at the general store in Blackwater
By Daisy Fairman
Several cowpokes got into a tense stare down just outside of S.M. Neely’s general store when they all arrived at the same time. “I looked out the window and saw maybe 5 folks with hands resting on their guns, ready to draw!” said Mr. Neely. A few of the cowpokes were regular customers, at least two of them Mr. Neely did not recognize, and one he had no seen in quite some time. “I’ll do my shopping first,” one of the cowpokes is reported as saying, with another responding, “we can do all our shopping at the same time, I told you this ain’t Appalachia.” Mr. Neely managed to remove the tension by offering them all a gold nugget rebate for visiting his shop. The cowpokes reportedly took the gold nugget rebate and all but one left. “The last stayed to shop a bit, but said they had everything they wanted already,” Mr. Neely said with disappointment.
Wanted man left for dead, saved and arrested
By Emery Cosberry
Chester Dunn, wanted for a large number of crimes, was found hogtied on Bard’s Crossing by two passing bounty hunters. “I heard calls for help, then saw a struggling man on the railroad bridge,” said the bounty hunter. They approached the hogtied man with the idea to help him. “As I bent down to untie the poor bastard, I recognized him as Charles Dunn, so instead tossed him on my horse and rode to Valentine,” the bounty hunter said. The journey to Valentine was uninterrupted, with the bounty hunter’s partner riding along in case Dunn had any allies looking for him. “Often folks come to protect their friends, but given how we found Dunn, it is clear he had none left,” said the second bounty hunter. Dunn is presently being held in the Valentine Sheriff’s Office.
Man reports being accosted by strange cowpoke
By Van R. Seldon
A man traveling through New Haven reported a strange encounter with a strange man. “I was minding my own business, riding my horse, when the fellow accosted me!” the man said. He was in New Haven searching for rare collectibles when the man ran up to his side and tried to pull him off his horse. “I’m made of sterner stuff than most think” the traveling collector said, “so I mostly laughed at his failures!” However, it was what happened next that made the traveler report the crime. “He leaped onto the back of my horse and began rubbing my chest in the most odd way!” The traveler reported being unable to dislodge the man from his horse, until eventually the cowpoke got off the horse and ran away. “I do not know why he did it, but civilized folk should be wary of New Haven,” the traveler said.
Bad luck strikes twice when wagon breaks down, then riders are robbed
By Mathilde Orry
Braithewaite employees had a bad run this week. While on a typical supply run their wagon broke down near Bolger Glade. “The damn wheel broke and we didn’t have an extra,” said one of the ranchhands.” “Me and a few others rode our horses up to the Braithewaite Mansion, looking to get a new wheel and return for repairs,” another hand explained, “but it seemed we had just left when we heard gunshots in the direction of the wagon.” The men on horses quickly rode back to the wagon only to find their fellows dead and several bags of supplies missing. “A few of us followed a trail, I stayed behind to take inventory of what had been stolen,” said the only surviving hand. Those that rode after the thieves were killed. An investigation was conducted but authorities in Rhodes were unable to uncover any evidence that could identify the thieves. The Braithwaites claim the Rhodes authorities, led by rival and sheriff Leigh Gray, did not perform a proper investigation.
Guarma Rum Bottles Somewhat Unsafe
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Now that the war with Spain is now over, trade has slowly but surely started back up. The small island of Guarma, which saw quite a lot of heavy action, is finally seeing its most famous export leaving its shores. Guarma Rum is quite well known for its flavor; it’s a cherished item by many people in Europe and the Americas. Although the rum is beginning the flow again, there appear to be some problems with the bottle it’s shipped in.
Numerous cowpokes have noticed that on long rides, the bottle contents seem to spill out. Usually, the rider doesn’t notice this for hours. But like clockwork, the bottle leaks or full-on shatters, wasting money and time. The cause of this is unknown; it’s suspected that the aftermath of the war has led to substandard bottles being used.
Whether it’s poorly made bottles or human error, cowpokes are advised not to purchase Guarma Rum unless they intend to drink it almost immediately. To waste such a flavorful drink is practically a crime in the eyes of many, especially with how much suffering the locals must go through to produce it. Hopefully, better quality bottles will be created in all due haste.
One year, two graduating classes?
By Frederick Vannesse
All over the country students are celebrating their graduations, as has become a common practice. Students and faculty get dressed in outfits only slightly more ridiculous as what is offered in the Wheeler, Rawson and Co catalogue and patiently sit through long and cliche speeches. This year, however, something is different. Two different graduating classes are graduating this year and few can explain why. “Well, this class graduated last year,” said an organizer pointing at a group of seated students before pointing at another group of students and saying, “and those students graduated this year.” Many schools across the nation have had difficulty accommodating the ceremonies that are double the typical size of a graduation ceremony. So which is the class of 1898? “Both of them,” said the organizer, “they seem to have all graduated in 1898, but also gone to school a year apart…” The organizer then suddenly became speechless and had to be assisted away.
France and Britain to meet regarding border conflicts in Northern Nigeria
By Ivy Seager
Both France and Britain have a long history of establishing colonies in Africa, often competing over the same regions. Many conflicts have arisen over unclear borders in Northern Nigeria. The governments of both Britain and France have accused the other of illegally crossing the border into their colonies. Further, both Britain and France have mustered their colonial forces in the region to defend the unclear borderline. To reduce conflict so that resources used in conflicts could be used more efficiently for production of goods, both sides have agreed to come together and finally resolve this dispute. Diplomats will be meeting in Paris to draw what will be the final territorial borders. Should both sides agree, conflicts over colonial borders in the region are expected to decline.
The Five States Herald 