Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Lady D Bids Farewell to Five States
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Time has a funny way of moving fast or slow in a situation you find most favorable. After much fanfare, the beloved Lady D of Romania set sail for home this morning. People were still throwing bouquets of flowers as her ship, the Demeter, pulled away from Saint-Denis harbor.
Oh, what a week it was. She visited the many sites and sounds of the glorious Five States. She was always followed by several armed guards and various reporters, me included. We traveled from the great waterfall in New Hanover to the San Luis River. She even wrote her name into the iconic Register Rock, not far from Frank Heck’s old writings. She merely wrote her first name Margaret, but she preferred to go by Maggie.
She gave one of her hats to each general store owner in the lands, even Armadillo of all places. The sad sight of people dying in the streets from disease didn’t frighten her at all. If anything, she felt sympathy for their pain.
Along the way, we learned many things; she is indeed royalty. A countess in the court of King Carol of Romania. The family name she wouldn’t reveal, but she did say the family began in the 1500s, and winemaking skills run in her blood. She has several daughters and talked endlessly about them, the same way an adoring mother won’t stop talking about a baby. When pressed by a Blackwater journalist if her family inspired a recent British novel, she laughed it off. The castle does look rather lovely from the photos she had, but honestly, what castle looks terrible?
By the end of the week, it was hard to tell what her intentions had truly been. If this was a PR move, it was well beyond what you’d typically expect. Everyone received one of those unique hats as a token of thanks. It’s something I will never forget for the rest of my life.
The Grey Cowboy arrested, being held in Tumbleweed Jail
By Alois Burditt
Bounty hunter Nathaniel Cross arrested the Grey Cowboy on Tuesday afternoon. The man brought into the Tumbleweed jail claimed to have been falsely identified, though his mostly grey attire matched descriptions of what the Grey Cowboy wears. Moreover, the man did have a black mask that covered the area around his eyesin his possession. This masks matches the mask witnesses have said the Grey Cowboy wears. Cross said he found the man with two dead outlaws, “likely I arrived just after he executed the villains,” Cross said. Despite the high profile of the Grey Cowboy, Cross described the capture as mundane and routine. Sheriff Freeman said he was surprised by the Grey Cowboy’s appearance, “he looked, well, unimpressive,” Freeman said.
Despite previous claims by Sheriff Freeman that he would not allow the Grey Cowboy to be locked in the Tumbleweed Jail, he has come to an agreement with Cross. “I respect Cross and if he thinks this is a good idea, I’ll trust him,” Freeman commented, “we’ll hold this man until he is transferred away.” Cross says he has no plan on transporting the Grey Cowboy himself, as he plans to remain in Tumbleweed. The BHTNC immediately made plans for transportation with a proper guard. Transportation is set to take place next week, where Cross will be taken by train and wagon to Thieves Landing, before departing for Sisika penitentiary via boat.
Man leaps onto a moving train from his horse, loses grip and falls off a bridge
By Jane Duran
The Bacchus Bridge was the site of yet another death. Many daring cowpokes commit fear defying feats on the bridge. This week another man lost his life on a fall from the train bridge when he attempted to leap from his horse onto the moving train. He made the leap near the abandoned Bacchus Station, which had recently been reported as a gang hideout. A witness on the train said they moved passed Bacchus Station with haste and afterward heard several shots fired. “I look back and saw this fella on his horse, riding it hard and keeping himself low and then he jumped,” the witness said. The man hit the side of the train instead of landing on it. He grabbed the rail while is legs flailed. “I thought to run and tell the engineer to stop, but as soon as I thought the man fell,” the witness said. No body was recovered and the man’s horse was not found. The witness seemed a bit stumped by the whole thing, saying, “what would possess a man to jump on a moving train and leave his horse behind?”
Gunslingers needed!
Drew MacFarlane, patriarch of the MacFarlane family, is calling for anyone skilled with a gun and seeking work to visit his ranch. The MacFarlane’s have long been community leaders and are aware of the various needs of community members around them. For interested cowpokes, see Drew’s daughter Bonnie, who hands out jobs and payment.
Kilgore Boys Rob Central Union Railroad!
By William T. Atheen (Freelancer)
Earlier this week the feared Kilgore Boys robbed the Central Union Railroad taking around $200 from passengers! They got on the train around Riggs Station in West Elizabeth, threw the engineer into the waters below Bard’s Crossing, robbed the passengers before driving the train to Flatneck station, and then rode away on their horses. The Kilgore Boys are now at large! The members of the Kilgore Boys are: John Kilgore and his two sons Thomas “Deadeye Tom” Kilgore and Ross “The Tomahawk Kid” Kilgore.
Revenuers return to West Elizabeth with renewed vigor, again
By Nick McCrary
A party at an underground moonshine operation was shut down by federal revenue agents. The agents pulled out of West Elizabeth recently when the Great Plains Sniper got the best of them, killing many and escaping once again. If it seemed like the agency was ready to give up to you, then you were wrong. An agent speaking on a condition of anonymity said they got the tip about the moonshining operation while keeping a low profile. “We staged our return exactly when we meant to, to catch this moonshiner off their guard,” the agent said. When agents barged in, they found the cabin they raided had a large underground section, complete with a band. The occupants were in the middle of a celebration, not able to hear the agents enter the shack over the music and the laughing. Everyone was promptly arrested without issue, though only those known to be moonshiners and bootleggers are still being held. Those who seemed to have simply been at the wrong place at the wrong time, we allowed to leave. “We aren’t here to punish innocent folks,” the agent said, “just those who don’t pay their taxes.”
Program reopens allowing qualifying cowpokes to enter the Five States at no cost
By Adam Parvey
A short-lived program that allowed cowpokes with a premium membership to come into the Five States for free has started up again. The BHTNC partnered with a company on the west coast to fund the new residents. In the last several months, long term residents have started to flee the Five States as support for the region has dwindled. Instead of investing in new jobs and securing basic property rights, the Five States government and the BHTNC have opted to focus on replenishing the region with new residents who have less demand for new investments. “New residents see everything as, well, new,” said a spokesman for the BHTNC, who was also speaking on behalf of all five state governments in the region. A core member of the BHTNC, who asked to not be named in this article, said investing in bringing new residents into the Five States is less expensive than investing in bringing new opportunities to long term residents. Those who study the long term economy of the region, however, wonder if investing in new opportunities is the better long term investment. “Short term investment may be nice on the pocket book right now, but long term investments are nicer on the pocket book next year,” an analyst said.
The BHTNC did not comment specifically for this article.
Valentine butchers buys too much bass, offers discount sells to his many visitors
By Emery Cosberry
For reasons unknown, several cowpokes arrived at the Dakota River to fish for smallmouth bass. “It just felt like the thing to do,” said one cowpoke who has lived in the Five States for as long as the Five States has been around, so he claimed. “I don’t fish much anymore, but used to fish this river dry and make fair money before I got a job as a proper hunter!” they explained. Many travelers noted seeing several cowpokes in the area, with as many as half a dozen at any one time. Many of these cowpokes then found their way to the Valentine butcher. “I haven’t bought this many fish in a very long time,” the butcher admitted. He recalled in times past when it was common for cowpokes to sell large and smallmouth bass as well as salmon and trout. “Those days been over for some time,” the butcher said, “sometimes a few still sell fish to me but not like this, not in such a large quantity.” The butcher quickly realized he had more fish than he could reasonably use and so he began selling off the fish to locals at a steep discount. “I had to sell it off at the price I paid, or below, just so it wouldn’t spoil,” the butcher complained, “can you believe it?” When asked why the butcher continued to buy the fish and did not just stop, he replied, “is not buying something an option?”
Crime spree hits Scarlet Meadows
By Mathilde Orry
A rise in crime in and around Rhodes has many residents concerned. Though not official, everyone seems to know that allies of the Gray family, who run Rhodes, often get free passes. This means drunkards and assaulters often get little more than a night in jail to cool off. However, this wave of crime seems to be unrelated to Gray allies, as Gray family interests have been attacked. Supplies belonging to the Gray family have been destroyed, wagons have been held up (including wagons transporting items owned by the Grays), and assassinations have been conducted. Sheriff Leigh Gray has even said he is considering deputizing any talented gunslinger who arrives in town and is willing to help. Sheriff Gray also has announced that he has a suspect, though no evidence to directly to the suspect to the crimes. I have learned that this suspect is Anthony Foreman, a leader of the Foreman Brothers gang. Anthony Foreman lives in a home not far from Rhodes and according to my source, he has the resources to have many of these crimes committed. However, my source (who is not a Gray) said they believe Sheriff Gray has a personal vendetta with the Foreman’s for other reasons, questioning their boss’ belief that Foreman is the man responsible.
Hunting and Fishing Club Established in Mountains
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Isolation is a powerful feeling. It can break the strongest men or women far easier than lead or steel. But it can sometimes be a liberating feeling, knowing it’s only you against the world. This latter interpretation is on display with the creation of a new club of sorts.
A group of mountain men and amateur historians, plus a few curious cowpokes, created a hunting and fishing club stationed in Ambarino. The stated goal is to be closer to nature and the ways of the old pioneers. They intend to live off the land, by fishing the many lakes, hunting animals, and just staying away from civilization.
All the members admit to being fans of the so-called Bear Man, who we profiled some time ago. One word often used is transcendentalism, a term that will either mean a lot, or nothing depending on who’s being asked.
Locals in Valentine are more or less happy these people are just going away. This motley crew was well known to mess around with livestock and bother farmers and normal cowpokes. One shop owner joked that they’ll all be dead within two months tops.
Controversy erupts with the announcement of wrestling championship match
By Rutherford X. Downing
Evan “The Strangler) Lewis has agreed to put his American Heavyweight Championship on the line against the “Terrible Turk” Youssouf Ishmaelo. The Terrible Turk has taken the American wrestling world by storm, defeating all comers until a disqualification loss to Ernest Roeber. Ishmaelo’s manager said, “The Terrible Turk does not consider that a loss, clearly he was the better physical specimen that day.” A rematch between the two men ended in a riot. When Ishmaelo began claiming that no American wrestler is willing to take him on, American Heavyweight Champion Evan Lewis stepped up and accepted the challenge. Many have criticized the announcement, claiming that Ishmaelo has no place in American wrestling after his unsporting misconduct displayed against Roeber, however others say that if the match does not happen then the Terrible Turk can forever claim superiority. The match is scheduled to take place in four weeks and will take place in Chicago.
Discovery of ancient artifact in Egypt sheds light on a unified Egypt
By Ivy Seager
Archeologists working in Egypt have found a tablet that they say depicts the unification of Lower Egypt and Upper Egypt under the Pharaoh Narmer. While archelogists have cautioned that the tablet is still being studied, they say it depicts Narmer as wearing the crown worn by the Pharaoh of Upper Egypt on one side and the crown worn by the King of Lower Egypt on the other side. This, so claim the archeologists, is evidence of a unified Egypt that did not exist previously. The tablet will continue to be studied and translated to ensure accurate understanding of what is depicted. If it is true that Pharaoh Narmer united Egypt under his rule, then this will prove to be a major discovery.
The Five States Herald 