Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Unflattering Photographs of Hated Outlaw Published
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
The trial of the century is about to begin in a week or so in Saint-Denis. The trial of Myra Rose Hart has attracted many people near and far. The prosecution has managed to find as many family members of her victims as they could get. Her own parents, Audrey and Fredrich, have traveled from Savannah, for what reason none can say. Her cousin Daniel is also in attendance. She will have no lawyer to defend her. Myra Rose Hart will represent herself, likely because the outcome is written in stone. Citizens eager for revenge, however, aren’t even waiting for the trial.
Out on every street corner, children are asking passersby to purchase a copy of some photographs. They are copies of Miss Hart’s mugshot, taken after she was well enough to move. They are, unflattering to put it mildly.
They depict the infamous Black Rose with and without the thick makeup she always wears. Many have proclaimed that she isn’t a great beauty without her beauty routine, despite what her neighbors once claimed. These images are going for two dollars a photo.
It is believed that the photographer the police hired, a Mr. Marcel Beliveau, sold these pictures to make ends meet; he has been struggling as of late. He isn’t expected to suffer any consequences for this action.
Far be it from me to feel sympathy for a mass murderer, but mocking the dignity of a young woman I feel is beneath us. At the very least, wait until she is in the ground before you pour forth all your hatred. She won’t be going anywhere.
Train goes off rails then miraculously jumps back on rails after running man over
By Wylie Frey
Ranch hands at MacFarlane Ranch reported the strangest occurrence this week. According to three men having beers after a long day’s work, the train was coming into the station west of the ranch as expected. However, it suddenly hopped off the rail with a loud screech. “We heard the noise first, then looked up and saw the train plowing through the dirt!” one of the ranch hands said. A bystander near the tracks was unable to get out of the way in time. “I don’t think he expected the train to go off the rails, but it did and now that feller is dead,” said another ranch hand. Further disaster seemed certain until the train hit the rails again. Instead of crashing further, however, the train jumped back onto the rails and then slowed to a stop near the train station. The conductor walked out and according to witnesses, seemed “plenty spooked.” He did not return to the train and a new engineer had to be called in via telegram.
WANTED!
Investigators: Travel the Five States and report on what is going on.
Writers: Write the stories investigators find!
Photographers:
To take photographs to be used in the Herald.
Can also do all three!
Isolated hermit saved by bounty hunting mailman
By Caylen V. Hornby
The hermit who lives out by the frozen Barrow Lagoon found himself in a difficult situation this week. A criminal on the run from the law chose the hermit’s home as his hiding place, against the protests of the hermit. This proved to be a wise decision for the criminal, as the hermit rarely receives visitors. It also proved to be an unlucky decision, as one of the few times the hermit does get a visitor it is a result of mail delivery. It just so happened that the person delivering the hermit’s mail was also a prestigious bounty hunter. “I recognized something wasn’t right immediately, too many tracks outside,” the bounty hunter said. They approached the home as if they were merely delivering the mail. “I took some time after to sort through the letters in my pouch, with an eye on the window and a hand near my gun,” the bounty hunter remarked. The criminal looked through the window and began wiping it to get a better view. He was shot for his effort. “Alive is a better reward, but I have mail to deliver, can’t fuss with a living bounty,” the hero said. The hermit was happy to receives his mail and have his home back.
History of Blackwater a Great Lie?
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Everyone in the state of West Elizabeth knows about the founding of Blackwater. It was founded in the early 1800s by the legendary Josiah Blackwater. Children learn this in school; many stores in the town prominently feature his portrait. But one local woman claims this isn’t the truth; it’s all a lie.
Audrey Mae Carter, daughter of a wealthy socialite and something of an amateur historian, looked into the town’s history as a way to pass the time. She got access to archival documents and claims she found something that conflicts with the popular narrative.
“I found this crumbling document talking about the day Blackwater was founded. In the early days, it was merely a trading post, nothing special about it. But the date on the document was odd. It said the founding year was 1767. Everyone knows Josiah Blackwater was born in 1782, after the American Revolution. I later found bills of fur sales and ledgers, all of them were dated decades prior to Blackwater’s birth. I even checked documents about him, wondering if his date of birth was wrong. He was without question born in 1782.”
This information means only one thing. Josiah Blackwater did not found the trading post that was called Blackwater. This brings in a host of other questions about the man, about how much of his life is real. But do people care? Not particularly, many see a bored unmarried woman trying to ruin their proud history. But Carter is determined to prove that the story of Blackwaters founding is wrong, for who else is going to try but her?
Cowpoke kills two others defending his horse
By Emery Cosberry
A cowpoke weary from a day’s hard work hitched his horse in front of Smithfield’s Saloon, planning to have a few drinks. A woman took a look at the cowpoke’s horse. She got a bit too close and ignored the horse’s nervous body language and paid for it with a kick to the face. The woman stood back up rather quickly given that she was just kicked by a horse and shook off her disorientation before pulling out a gun and aiming at the horse. “Getting kicked by a horse is a quick way to get your pride hurt a bit,” said a sheriff’s deputy who witnessed the altercation. The cowpoke, though tired, was the quicker draw shot the woman dead before she could fire a shot at his horse. The woman had a friend, who drew their gun on the cowpoke. However, the cowpoke stepped to the side, quickly grappling the attacker and ending their life with a knife to the back. The cowpoke wiped his knife clean before petting his horse and feeding it.
When asked if the man would be arrested, the deputy who watched the whole thing said, “for what? saving me some time and putting down a couple of outlaws instead of making me babysit them?” the deputy asked and then elaborated, “the penalty for horse theft is death, so why should the punishment for attempted horse killing be the same?” The cowpoke is said to have finally been able to enjoy their their beer in peace.
Rampaging fist fighter proves unstoppable, even by God himself!
By Aloysius Levron
Reports came in early this week that a man rampaged through Saint Denis with nothing but his fists. The man was said to be quite resilient and a fighter of such skill that no man could stop him. “Some tough dock workers tried to stop him, and they went down,” said one witness. Another pointed out that waves of policemen came at the fisticuff felon only to be knocked out cold. According to several witnesses, even guns could not stop the man. “He must have taken a few shots, he seemed to wince a few times, but anyone in his way was knocked out,” a witness said, “so I made sure to stay out of his way!” According several witnesses even divine intervention could not stop the furious fighter. “Would you believe it that God himself tired to stop this man?” a witness asked before adding, “a bolt of lightning was sent from the heavens to stop the man, but it failed.”
The lightning bolt struck just feet away from the brawny brawler, giving him a momentary pause. “I don’t think he quite believed it,” said a lawman who was nearly vaporized by the lightning strike himself, “he just stumbled and looked to the sky.” The shock was temporary, as the man merely chuckled and was renewed by his narrow escape from God’s Justice. He rampaged through the city for several more minutes before hopping on the train and escaping. Authorities in Annesburg were notified, however, the “KO Cowboy” was no longer on the train. Nobody who witnessed the event can recall what the man looked like. Some have said God wiped the man’s appearance from their memories as a reward for thwarting his strike.
Cowpokes vehemently divided over the future of the Five States
By Adam Parvey
If you sit around any saloon in the region long enough, you are bound to hear some folks claiming the sky is falling. They say that the authorities responsible for the Five States have forsaken it, offering minimal support to save face with residents who have grown disenchanted with the region. “The Five States was a land of promise and opportunity,” an early resident said, “now it’s a land of empty promise and shallow opportunities.” “It’s the same, everyday,” said another resident, “hunt, take carcasses to camp, repeat, deliver goods, repeat again.” Many cowpokes who optimistically traveled the Five States since the region opened up now complete tasks by rote. “I used to enjoy bounty hunting, but at a point you realize you keep catching the same outlaws over and over,” said a bounty hunter, “how do they keep escaping and why do I keep doing this?” The growing ranks of jaded cowpokes, however, does have a growing counter movement.
“Have you ever just sat at your camp in the wilderness and watched the fire burn down?” asked one cowpoke, “I have and it’s peaceful and reminds one of what makes the Five States a desirable place to live in.” Other cowpokes like them have chosen to focus on other things, some small like a fire burning out and some large. “When I get a bit bored of the routine, I just ride in the countryside,” said a hunter. They elaborated, “sometimes it’s great to just live with the animals and not just hunt them, but to ride peacefully and enjoy the beauty of nature.” Another traveler I spoke to echoed these sentiments, “I suspect those who find themselves lost and without direction are the same types that travel quickly everywhere. Sometimes you need to just travel slowly and take in the view.” These contrasting views make the job of the BHTNC and the Five States’ legislatures so difficult, they must craft policy and make decisions to please crowds that want completely different things. “I just want a ranch that I could retire on,” said one cowpoke whose beard is more grey than black these days, “I guess it’s a different kind of repetition, but one I could live with. But I can see why that life isn’t for everyone.” The BHTNC did not provide a comment for this story and would not discuss future plans for the Five States.
Ann Mosey goes to Washington
By Frederick Vannesse
Ann Mosey has aligned herself with suffragettes after her offer to bring 50 lady sharpshooters into the Spanish-American war was denied. Mosey had been petitioning the government to take her offer seriously throughout the war, but to no avail. Now that the war has concluded and Washington has returned to business as usual, Mosey is doubling her efforts. Though she had little inclination to fully embrace the suffragettes initially, she now sees her cause and theirs as fully aligned. “If women want to be able to to go war they must first achieve equality, and that means the right to vote!” she said in a speech to nearly 100 people outside of the the Capitol Building. Several suffragettes, speaking on a condition of anonymity, said they are thankful for Mosey’s support but are not eager to go from the right to vote to fighting in wars across the world.
War erupts in the British territory of Sierra Leone
By Ivy Seager
The British government established the Protectorate of Sierra Leone following the Berlin Conference 1885. While the British emphasized their role as protectors of the people of Sierra Leone, natives of the area insisted they did not need such protection. New tensions rose recently with the colonial governor imposed new tax to pay for the British government to protect them. Many tribal chiefs have criticized the tax and refused to comply with it. According to the British government, Temne Chief Bai Bureh, instigating the war and as a result, was arrested. However, a Herald investigator learned this may not be true. Just before they were forced to leave the country by the British Government, they learned that Chief Bai Bureh may have been arrested in false charges as a scapegoat for the war. This source said the war is needed so the British can reestablish their dominance. The British government denies these claims, however, we stand by our reporting.
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