Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Five State Citizens Feel Safer
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
A few months ago, the Five States were racked with crime of all kinds. Traders were losing supplies from bandits; people were being shot in the streets. It was truly a miserable time. Now, after a controversial program and several brand-new government-sanctioned laws, people are starting to feel safer for the first time in ages.
Almost all the infamous criminals are dead or behind bars, and those still on the run have become less active. Attacks on traders, while still an issue, have become less commonplace. From Tumbleweed to Rhodes, people can sleep soundly without the fear of their house being burned.
A trumpet player in Saint-Denis said it best, “You know, I think things are starting to take a turn for the better. Sure we had the race riot, the assassination, the insurrection, and many other things. But things are starting to look good for us. I’ve seen dozens of cowpokes passing by who seem happy for the first time in, well, forever. I do hope it lasts… although I would like to see more jobs.”
Frankly, the only unhappy people this week are the industrialists like Cornwall and Tremaine. They are complaining about lost funds on Wall Street, but really who cares about them? You’d get more sympathy for the Great Plains Sniper than the wealthy being sad about losing money. Other than the woes of the rich, life feels tranquil in the Five States. I hope it lasts.
Hunter injured in failed bore hunt
By Wylie Frey
A man who asked that he not be named out of sheer embarrassment, barely walked away from a failed hunt with their life in tact. He was riding through Hennigan’s Stead when he saw the white face of the Wakpa boar. Having decided a detour was worth the rare pelt, he changed courses. He dismounted and attempted to sneak up on the boar to get a better shot. However, the boar moved into some brush, which required the hunter to get closer to find the boar. The boar found him first. It rushed out of the brush and gored the hunter in the leg. In a panic, he fired his gun off which must of scared the boar because it ran away. The hunter quickly wrapped his leg up to stop the bleeding and whistled for his horse. He arrived at Valentine in time to save his life, but not his leg.
Man attacked by fur-less wolf-like creature
By Alois Burditt
A hunter followed tracks that he had assumed were made by a lone wolf. “Wolves don’t often travel alone, but on occasion they do,” the hunter said. He opted to pursue the wolf because he said lone wolves may be sick or injured, making them more prone to attack and therefore more dangerous. However, the hunter found something he said was out of this world. He described a creature that seemed to be roughly the same size as a wolf and also stood on four legs. This creature, though, had no fur. “It was as if it had been skinned, but survived the process,” the hunter remarked. Deciding to put the beast out of its misery, he fired on the creature with a double barrel shotgun. Much to the hunter’s surprise, the creature barely flinched after taking the shot. “I fired and I fired and the creature just growled and taunted me,” the hunter elaborated. Eventually the creature attacked, injuring the hunter’s arm. According to the doctor that cleaned the wound, the wound looked like a wolf bite. The hunter, however, swears it was something infinitely more frightening. Posses have formed to look for the creature.
Ambush orphans immigrant child
By Jane Duran
A family from an unknown European country arrived in the Five States early this week by way of Annesburg. The family quickly moved on, headed to an unknown location in the Cumberland Forest according to others who arrived on the same boat. The family did not arrive, however. They were ambushed near O’Creagh’s Run. The family was killed during the ambush, save for a young girl. She was found by a posse that rode out of Valentine. The girl was found hiding in a trunk. It is believed that she was stuffed in the trunk by her parents at the first sign of the ambush. There was no evidence that the family fought back, though it is known that the family patriarch did purchase a rifle before leaving Annesburg. The child is presently being cared for by a wealthy widow in Valentine.
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Del Lobo gang reminds folks of presence in Ambarino
By Caylen V. Hornby
Most think of Ambarino as dangerous as a result of its abundant wild life and many predators, but deep in the Ambarino snow hides a small portion of the Del Lobo gang, believed to be led by the legendary Flaco Hernandez. Some travelers were reminded of that this week when they were ambushed by the gang after making camp near Lake Isabella. A couple of cowpokes hunting in the region responded to the shooting and drove the gang off, however, only after two of the three travelers were killed. The survivor promptly packed up and rode out of the region.
Massive search for the Great Plains Sniper is underway
By Nick McCrary
The Bureau of Internal Revenue has received some much needed assistance from the federal government. After the assassination of would be Bureau head Artemas Mallicoat, the federal government has launched a massive search for the assassin. “It’s a fool’s errand,” said Blackwater Chief of Police Oswald Dunbar, “nobody has a damn inkling on who the Sniper is, are they gonna arrest everyone with a damn rifle?” Neither the Bureau nor other federal agencies assisting in the manhunt have given any indication into how they plan on searching for the Great Plains Sniper. Though, the conflict between the local authorities and the federal authorities seems to be getting tense once again. Under Agent Mallicoat’s temporary leadership, he tried to foster cooperation between the Bureau and local authorities. “He was alone in thinking this was critical to our efforts,” said an anonymous source within the Bureau, “most think if the locals don’t comply then we should arrest them.” Chief Dunbar has announced that Blackwater jails will not be used to house federal prisoners, stating, “we will not be used by inept bureaus carrying out a grudge.”
Good Samaritan loses patience
By Daisy Fairman
A woman riding into Strawberry came across a crashed wagon with a man slouched nearby. He awoke as she approached. “He said he hit a rock and was ran off the road,” the woman said. The drunk asked the woman to watch his stuff while he walked to the nearby stables to get a new wagon. The woman agreed, however, the drunkard never came back. “I waited for a long time, but he never came back so I rode on and lo and behold, he was passed out slumped against a tree!” The woman said she slapped the man to wake him up, then continued on her trip to Strawberry. The fate of the man’s wagon and goods is unknown.
Cowpoke “invents” new way of driving a wagon
By Emery Cosberry
A cowpoke tired of pulling on horse reigns to keep his wagon moving claims to have invented an easier way to drive a wagon. “Turns out, if you’re on a road then the horse knows where to go,” the cowpoke said, “so all you really gotta do is aim your gun.” The cowpoke claims this works because horses in the Five States are conditioned to run when they see a gun. Others have said this does not work, but the cowpoke who invented it said, “you have to have a destination clear in your mind. You have to see a path, helps if you visualize that path in red.” Those who have been unable to get this method of driving a wagon to work have remarked that shooting your gun into the sky will often get the horse moving. “I tried that new fangled “visualize your destination” crap and found that it only worked in my dreams, but if I shoot my gun my horse keeps pulling that wagon.”
Man stabbed to death for shooting a dog
By Van R. Seldon
A violent outcome followed a friendly one when a man pet a dog at Emerald Ranch. An unnamed man rode into the ranch and after handling “personal business” decided to relax by petting one of the dogs at the ranch. Another man rode by, however, and had a different idea. “I couldn’t quite believe it when I saw it,” said Seamus, the ranch foreman, “the other fella just shot the damn dog for no damn reason.” The man previously petting the dog did not hesitate in pulling out a knife and stabbing the shooter in the chest. “It was quite the display of instant frontier justice,” Seamus said, “a life for a life.”
Rhodes Sheriff department under federal investigation for refusing to cooperate with the BHTNC
By Mathilde Orry
Bounty hunters pursuing legal bounties on multiple targets tracked down a few leads that indicated the targets were hiding out near Rhodes. The bounty hunters then took the time to stakeout the Gray Woolen Mill. “Sure as shit is warm, the bounties showed up,” said one of the bounty hunters. Once all of the targets revealed themselves, the bounty hunters acted. “There were fellas with guns, but no problem at all,” one of the bounty hunters told me. The targets were apprehended alive after a brief shootout. “We should have realized there was a problem when the targets met at the Gray property, but we really knew something was wrong when we tried to turn the bounties in.”
Neither Sheriff Gray nor any of his deputies would accept the bounty targets nor pay the legal rewards to the bounty hunters. The situation became tense and nearly became another gunfight. “We figured killing the damn sheriff and his fools wouldn’t help us get our money, so we rode to Saint Denis instead,” the bounty hunter said. The ride to Saint Denis was uneventful. This news comes just as the BHTNC has managed to reverse its reputation. The BHTNC spokesman was quick to point out, “these actions of the Rhodes Sheriff are not endorsed by the BHTNC,” and promised a full investigation. The Lemoyne state legislature has also promised an investigation into this situation, stating that, “the local authorities have a legal obligation to comply with state laws, rather they like it or not.” Sheriff Gray did not respond to our request for a comment.
Romanian Hat takes Europe by Storm!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
A new style of women’s hat from Romania of all places is being sold across Europe at record speeds. The country, often mocked for being the home of vampires after the relatively recent release of a popular novel, is now becoming a fashion center of sorts. This new style of hat, with a ridiculous wide brim and floral design, is popular with rich society ladies and even some lower-class people looking to draw attention.
The designer, a woman who only goes by the enigmatic title, Lady D, has reportedly earned untold riches practically overnight. The hat has no name; most just call it a Lady D hat. There are rumors that the first lady of the United States special ordered one of these hats. Queen Victoria already owns two pairs.
The amount of royalty fighting over this hat almost would make you believe Europe was about to explode into warfare. There are far too numerous stories of fistfights in the streets and other absurd actions to count. Thankfully such oafish behavior has not occurred in the Five States, at least not yet. Nobody in Saint-Denis or Blackwater has managed to obtain this hat, but many are trying anyway. Local Saint-Denis resident Algernon Wasp is trying in vain to find a Lady D hat so that he can make his own brand of them.
For now, anyway, the Five States watches on, as Europe and parts of the east coast fight over a hat, from a country most people couldn’t name on a map. The world sometimes is a funny place.
Ice polo to be replaced with ice hockey?
By Frederick Vannesse
Ice polo has been a fairly popular sport in America since its introduction earlier this century. However, a few years ago the Brown University ice polo team journeyed north to Canada to learn to play ice hockey, a new game recently invented in Montreal. The Brown team abandoned ice polo for ice hockey, claiming it to be a faster game that requires more strategy. Fans may quickly notice that one of the biggest differences is that ice polo uses a ball whereas ice hockey uses a “puck,” a small flat disk like object. The puck travels smoother on the ice and affords players more control. The Brown team’s practice of this new sport has paid off, in the first official U.S. collegiate ice hockey game Brown beat Harvard 6-0.
New Social Democratic Labour Party formed in Russia
By Ivy Seager
This new party is said to be formed around the ideals of Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels, believing that the industrial worker is the key to true revolution. The party is not recognized in Russia and is therefore, considered to be illegal. While the Russian authorities are certainly aware of the party’s formation, meetings must be conducted outside of the public’s view to avoid being shut down or worse. A representative for Tsar Nicholas II have criticized such groups as using workers as a tool and not truly fighting what what benefits them.
The Five States Herald 