Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
As reputation continues to improve, BHTC rebrands
By Adam Parvey
The BHTC, properly the Bureau for Hurdling a Tarrying Congress, has operated in the Five States for over a year now. The alliance of private businessmen and elected officials formed as a response to the lack of Congressional support for the Five States region. As Congress, led by then Representative Daniel Houser, focused on other regions such as San Andreas, the BHTC formed to provide private support for the Five States. Their formation was cheered by residents as new jobs were brought to the region. The BHTC famously backed the Bounty Hunting, Trader, and Collector programs. By providing funds to pay for bounties, the BHTC directly assisted in reducing crime in the Five States. The program had some hiccups, as there were various times in which payments were not awarded to licensed bounty hunters bringing in legitimate bounties. However, most would agree that the program has been a success. The recent expansion of this program was criticized for requiring a secondary license, however the lower threshold for determining when an outlaw became a legitimate bounty was widely praised for reducing criminal activity among new residents.
The Trader program has gone through its own share of criticism. The early push to help cowpokes invest in the trade of bulk animal products resulted in a massive reduction in wild animals in the Five States. Several species nearly went extinct and traders complained of being unable to hunt and therefore, make money. The BHTC set out to fix a problem that it created. Using the group’s vast resources, animals from all over the country were brought to the Five States and a massive breeding program was started. In time, animal populations rebounded and today, trading in animal goods is a booming industry. As the final part of the initial investment, the group establish a Collector profession that was much different than the other jobs they supported. The BHTC hired one Madam Nazar to travel exclusively within the Five States, with the promise that she would have exclusive purchasing rights on certain collectible goods. This job has seen little controversy, however, the BHTC has been in a war with a rogue mapmaker who allegedly created a “magic map” that allowed collectors to know exactly where rare artifacts were located. While the BHTC dismissed the notion of a magic map, they worked aggressively to confiscate any such maps claiming to be a shortcut to collecting items.
Recently the BHTC hired Harriet Davenport to kickstart a naturalist profession. The data collected is said to be being analyzed so that the information can better help not only naturalists’ goals but the Five States region as a whole. Though Miss Davenport’s sensitivity toward killing animals has caused quite the backlash. Many cowpokes have left the profession entirely citing being tired of Miss Davenport spraying them with some unknown hallucinogenic drug. Some have also claimed that the BHTC was behind the growth of moonshining in the Five States. These folks suggest that the BHTC secretly began providing funds to moonshiners. However, the BHTC has denied these accusations and stated, “we work with the governments that have authority in the Five States region, and that means the federal government as well. We will not undertake programs that could potentially harm those relationships.”
The rebranding will build upon the goodwill achieved in the most recent investment into the bounty hunting program and seeks to encapsulate more recent efforts for sustained growth in the Five States. The group will now be referred to as the The Bureau for Harmonious and Tenacious Negotiations and Capitalization (BHTNC). A spokesman for the rebranded BHTNC has stated that for nearly the entire lifetime of the group, they have poured money into the Five States with little concern in making it back. However, that is now changing. The BHTNC says it will continue to invest in the Five States but expects to be able to make their money back. The spokesman stated, “this group was never supposed to be a charity, but we accepted some sunk costs. The time has come, however, for the BHTNC to start making back its money.” The reaction to the rebranding and new means of creating capital for the already rich men who make up the BHTNC has been mixed. Many cowpokes see this as the beginning of the end for the Five States, however just as many see this as a way of increasing investments. “If they [BHTNC] can make money through their investments, they will likely invest more. Maybe we will get new job opportunities now!” said one optimistic resident. Time will tell how this new strategy plays out.
Lone cowboy killed in Tumbleweed after shootout with the law
By Vincent Thomasson (Freelancer)
This Tuesday, in the middle of the afternoon, a young man was spotted riding into Tumbleweed from Armadillo. A witness said: “He was seemingly just a poor cowboy who was coming to town for some drinks or work, ain’t nothin’ seemed wrong about the feller.” “Before he started shooting, he even greeted the lawmen who were sitting outside my store” reveals the woman who runs the general store in Tumbleweed. She saw him hitch his horse, take a few steps towards the saloon, turn to the closest lawmen, and open fire. They were both immediately killed and before anyone had a chance to stop him, he had already started shooting at the lawmen who were pouring out of the saloon. Witnesses who managed to escape to the nearby ranch just east of Tumbleweed recalled the battle to one of our investigators: “It was pure violence, what that man did. He must’ve put down at least two dozen lawmen before they made him retreat back to the saloon, which was when everything went quiet for some time. I managed to get my wife and daughter outta town before that son of a bitch opened fire again inside of the saloon, which had been surrounded by the law.”
The bartender explained what took place in the saloon: “Everyone had left, except me, one other man, the pianist and that crazy cowboy. I could see how the law stood ‘round the house, waiting for him to show face. You see, that kid had ran past me and locked himself in the bedroom just above my bar. That other man was drinking some whiskey at the tables, didn’t seem to care for nothin’. When the kid did appear again, the law opened fire on him, which must’ve killed him on the spot. I bet he didn’t even have a chance to react before they had shot him”. The lone shooter has still not been identified, and law enforcement is still in the process of figuring out what actually took place that eventful afternoon.
Fishing competition ends in bloodshed
By Jane Duran
A friendly competition turned deadly when the competition’s winner was accused of underhanded methods. According to witnesses, the winner caught a muskie early in the competition. He then tossed the fish back into the shallow area he was fishing and immediately tossed his lure back out and managed to capture the fish a second time. Witnesses say this went on several times, with each catching of the fish taking less time. “The fish was obviously tired but still too dumb not to bite,” said one witness. The winner rebuffed accusations of cheating, claiming there was no rule that one could not catch the same fish more than once. “If such a rule exists, how do we know those who caught several salmon weren’t catching the same fish?” the man asked before the deadly turn of events. Most of the competition participants agreed no cheating had occurred, but said the man was unsporting all the same. Witnesses claim that while the conversation was heated, none of them expected it to turn deadly. However, the accused cheater place a hand on his pistol and was quickly shot in the chest for it.
“I am quite sure he wasn’t meaning a threat, just seemed like a natural position for him,” a witness said. The shooter was arrested, however, authorities soon released him. “From what we gathered, the shooter felt threatened at that time,” the releasing lawman said, “while he may have meant no harm, placing your hand on your gun while arguing with folks is a foolish thing to do.” The man’s winnings were confiscated and will be distributed to his family.
WANTED!
Investigators: Travel the Five States and report on what is going on.
Writers: Write the stories investigators find!
Photographers:
To take photographs to be used in the Herald.
Can also do all three!
The Great Plains Sniper arrested for a third time
By Nick McCrary
For the third consecutive week, someone has come to the Blackwater Police Station and confessed to being the Great Plains Sniper, this time it was a woman. Police Chief Oswald Dunbar expressed frustration with the situation. “I see no way of getting a conviction for any of these folks who have claimed to be the Great Plains Sniper,” Chief Dunbar said, “short of the confessions we have no evidence that they are who they say they are.” Moreover, that so many are confessing makes each confession of less value. While no official decision has been made, an anonymous policeman stated that they are considering releasing all of those claiming to be the Great Plains Sniper and charging them with being a public nuisance. For their part, each of those who have confessed maintains that their confession is true. Of the others, each says they know nothing.
New arrival learns how to survive in the Five States
By Daisy Fairman
It seems that one does not have to go far to hear a story of deceit and treachery. Death is as common in the Five States as horse manure and for some, yet these stories of murder and theft do not tell the true story of optimism the Five States exemplifies. This week, such a tale of optimism came to me by way of a newly arrived resident. According to this cowpoke, they were traveling near the Dakota River when they came across a another cowpoke fishing. “I aimed my gun at him and was fixing to steal his stuff,” the cowpoke admits. However, the man fishing dropped his fishing pole and with lightning speed wrapped the cowpoke in a bolas. “After hogtying me, he said I had two choices: die right there or learn how to survive,” the cowpoke said. They chose the latter and the man proceeded to teach him where to fish on the Dakota River to earn the most money. “We caught salmon, bass and trout!” the cowpoke said. The cowpoke was then hired to assist in a delivery of goods. “I was finally able to afford a new gun!” the cowpoke exclaimed. In truth, this story is not so rare. Sadly, it is the type of story ignored for one of bloodshed. Be good to each other, folks, and demand better of each other.
General Strike in New Hanover: Valentine Merchants Demand Hazard Pay
By Emma Justice (Freelancer)
This past Saturday (January 9th) in Valentine, residents and visitors alike were greeted in the town’s shops and saloons by unresponsive proprietors who turned their backs to their would-be customers. The merchants staged the one-day general strike to demand hazard pay from the New Hanover state government due to the increasingly unsafe working conditions that have resulted from the recent state-mandated holiday sales.
Quentin Fern, the barber at Smithfield’s Saloon, explained that he had participated in the strike because the government had forced him to give free haircuts all week as a part of the town’s New Year’s celebration. “I’ve had so many people lining up for style changes,” Fern explained, “that I don’t have time to show them the latest cuts available to them.” Several customers complained about the slow service and long waits, and Fern worries that his reputation will be sullied.
Both saloons in town stopped the government-mandated free pours during the strike. Cliff Smithfield, proprietor of Smithfield’s Saloon, seemed to take the strike in stride, but Mr. Keane, owner of Keane’s Saloon, was visibly worried during the strike. “Of course I participated,” Keane said. “This week of free pours might just be the last nail in my business’s coffin. You know, once Cliff opened up his establishment, I lost a lot of my business,” Keane lamented. “His place is bigger, and he’s got that piano player in there most nights. I’m hanging on by a thread over here.” Keane added that it doesn’t help his business at all when people get off the trains and run up the street shooting and hollering at all hours—a practice that has increased tenfold since the holiday sales and promotions commenced. “You’d think the government would realize that giving out free explosives during the holidays would lead to general mayhem and disorder,” Keane muttered.
Other visible participants in the strike included Jacob Worth, of Worth’s General Store, gunsmith R. L. Dalton, and the town’s butcher, who stood atop his butcher table during the strike in order to protest the marked increase in town violence since the Christmas holidays. “I can’t even tell you how many folks run through here with their guns blazing,” the butcher, who keeps his identity close to the vest, explained. “As a butcher, I deal with the gore and the grizzle all the time, but,” he sighed, “even I have a limit on the number of violent deaths I can witness in one day without losing my sanity.”
Amos Levi was noticeably absent during the strike. This reporter asked Levi whether he had supported the strike. “Well, I did, but I didn’t want to be so outspoken as the others.” Instead of engaging in the turned-back protest (the TB protest, for short), Levi decided to simply close up shop. “I left the stable doors open,” he explained, “but I moved the horses for the day over to the pastures west of Caliban’s seat.”
Most of the town’s residents stayed home during the strike, it seems, as the streets were empty. Even the postal clerk took the day off.
The government-sponsored New Year’s promotions and sales end this week, so we’ll see if the Valentine General Strike succeeds in raising awareness across New Hanover of the plight of Valentine’s business community. A gentleman playing poker at Smithfield’s Saloon hopes that sheriff Curtis Malloy took notice: “Malloy works hard, but he needs to move more quickly when these crazy folks roll into town and start shooting up the place.” He drained his beer and sighed, “Three times this week I’ve come in to Smithfield’s for my evening card game only to find one of my friends sitting in this here chair with his head blown clean off.”
Saint-Denis Liberated!!!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
For three days, Lemoyne Raiders held a grip of terror on Saint-Denis. For three days, many prayed in the streets for the safety of the many trapped inside the capital building. On Saturday morning, hope was glanced at the horizon. In the same way the Raiders had appeared, the Union army was seen approaching. In marching blue they wore, these brave men rode to the rescue of a beleaguered city.
Several decades ago, the sight of these many boys in blue would have brought fear to the masses; instead they brought joy. At the head of the army was the controversial Union officer colonel Henry Favours. Many quietly whisper about his less than stellar Civil War career and his actions against Native Americans, but right now, nobody cared.
He met with police chief Lambert and hashed out the plan of action. It was simple, demand the Raiders leave the city or be annihilated. Favours, ever the dramatic, walked up the capital’s steps and loudly yelled that this display of rebellion was over. One Raider told him to piss off back to Yankee territory. The colonel gladly ordered his men to open fire and charge.
With sword and rifle, they gallantly charged. Many of the Raiders were killed instantly in the initial volley. Others fired back defiantly, only to be felled or captured moments later. Most of them fled in all directions, a proper retreat. The lead officer in the charge was someone this paper has interviewed before, captain Lyndon Monroe. He fought through the halls, capturing countless Raiders who fell to their knees. When he reached the door to the main chamber, he kicked open the door, revolver drawn, ready to save hostages. Instead, he found a motley crew of men and women lying on the ground. One woman, identified as Lillian Powell, was completely drunk, barely awake. The two guardians of the group, Sándor Báthory Kardos and Elizabeth Cotton, were exhausted but very much alive. Lieutenant governor Eleanor Rockwell was quietly sitting at her podium, her clothing torn and bloodied but very much alive. Abigail Tremaine’s henchmen Don Morgan, was the only casualty, a bullet in his knee but still clinging to life.
Captain Monroe asked where Lindsey Wofford was; all the witnesses said he hadn’t been seen since the first day. Throughout the rest of the day, the military cleaned up the mess. Burying bodies and hauling away prisoners, after they left, janitors got to work fixing the building.
A time of celebration soon began; people like Kardos and Cotton were honored as unlikely heroes. Rockwell personally thanked both individuals, although she did note Cotton was quite a strange woman. Saying that if there hadn’t been an invasion, she’d assume Cotton was here to kill her. She also noted how odd it was that Wofford lacked a bounty; she fixed that straight away. Attention is likely to fall squarely on his shoulders in the coming months, a real enemy of Lemoyne on the run!
Rival Female Sharpshooter Challenges Famous Rival
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
When the call for elite bounty hunters went out, one name stood out among those the government wanted to be recruited. Ann Mosey, little miss sure shot herself, the most beloved sharpshooter in the nation. While she politely declined the offer, some of her lady sharpshooters answered the call. Many were okay with this decision, but one wasn’t. Lillian Bullock is a fellow sharpshooter from the Midwest and a fierce rival of Mosey.
Bullock has repeatedly called Mosey a coward for not personally fighting the West’s various outlaws and has challenged her to a sharpshooter duel of sorts. Not one where someone dies, of course, it was the classic how many targets could be hit within a ten-second period.
In the early morning hours of Sunday, the two women stood at the ready, firearms drawn. Within ten seconds, it was over. The results weren’t even close; Mosey crushed Bullock without much effort. Mosley hit a shocking 12 targets in the timeframe. Bullock only managed to hit five targets; she blamed the poor performance on her firearm jamming.
Bullock is expected to challenge Mosey to another gunfight, although even if it happens again, it’s doubtful the outcome will be any different. When Mosey was asked for a comment, she merely replied with a question. “If Bullock is so angry about me not fighting crime, why hasn’t she gone in my place? If she is so confident in her abilities, then prove to the world that you can do something I will not.”
“Lightships” begin operating along the west coast
By Frederick Vannesse
A new marvel in technology has been introduced on the west coast of the United States of America. Where costs to build lighthouses have proved to be exorbitantly high, maritime authorities seek to use so called “lightships.” These lightships are much like lighthouses, except that they are ships. Costs are saved as a result of already built ships being inexpensive to modify as a maritime signaling ship. In the city of San Fransisco, a whistling buoy has been replaced by a lightship. The whistling buoy’s effectiveness has been questioned, as many have claimed to not be able to hear or discern the buoy’s whistle over the oceans own. However, the cost of a lighthouse is far to high to consider that as a viable option. Maritime authorities are eager to see how well these new lightships workout in the coming years.
Itō Hirobumi begins third terms as Japan’s Prime Minister
By Ivy Seager
Itō Hirobumi has been an important figure for recent Japanese history. He was instrumental in establishing the nation’s constitution, taking inspiration from the West and merging it with Japanese culture. Hirobumi also oversaw Japan’s war with China, negotiating an end to the war that was highly favorable to Japan and liberated both Taiwan and Korea. These negotations also saw an expansion of Japanese holdings on the Asian continent. Hirobumi easily secured a third term as Prime Minister, though those who have been closely watching Japanese politics have warned that Hirobumi may face more push back this term as parties become entrenched in the political arena.
The Five States Herald 