Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Investigation into bounty hunting program done, no wrong doing found
Federal investigators, working with representatives from all five states of the Five States region, have completed an exhaustive investigation into allegations of corruption against the Bureau for Hurdling a Tarrying a Congress (BHTC). The allegations ranged from ignoring procedures to outright misuse of the system to settle personal vendettas. Evidence was presented, including several bounty hunters who alleged to have captured bounty targets only to learn of their innocence. The BHTC countered, however, that it is rare for a criminal to admit their wrongdoing. “Criminals often claim innocence to earn the sympathies of their captor,” said the spokesman for the BHTC, “to believe them is foolishness. The bounty hunters in questions, though, were not the the greenhorn types one would expect to believe a sob story. Hardened bounty hunters including the famed Nathanial Cross came forward to support these allegations. Unfortunately for those hoping the BHTC would be exposed of wrong doing, the group has been cleared of wrong doing by investigators.
“We are pleased with the investigation’s conclusion,” the spokesman said, “of course we were never at any point concerned. When you have done nothing wrong, an investigation is merely an inconvenience.” The BHTC says this announcement comes at a perfect time and will finally allow the group to put the corruption allegations behind them. The revamping of the bounty hunter program has been successful in making the region safer and earning the BHTC good faith among the people who have benefited from the improved program. The BHTC promises that this is only a start and that more changes are coming.
Train stopped by criminals, goods ransacked by collectors
By Alois Burditt
A large gang managed to stop a train traveling through Cholla Springs, but they were unable to recover much due to the involvement of several collectors. The train was carrying rare items to MacFarlane’s Ranch, where the goods were to be loaded onto wagons and taken to Thieves Landing for a boat ride to the Eastern United States. However, the train was cut off by a gang of outlaws. Word spread when one of the men on the train escaped. Telegrams were sent out across the region and instead of lawmen and bounty hunters, collectors arrived. The outlaws had already looted most of the train and likely realizing it would be hard to travel with these items on them, took to burying several items in the ground. One outlaw who was captured claimed they were planning on returning to dig up the items once the “heat was off.”
Unfortunately, the collectors were armed with metal detectors and quickly began finding and digging up the buried treasures. Several outlaws emerged from their hiding spots to defend the items they were trying to keep secured. A few collectors were caught off their guard and killed, but most proved to be skilled with a gun. The outlaws seemed to not expect this, and at the first sign of an organized defense, many fled. Others refused to give up and lost their life or their freedom as a result. Realizing the difficulty of tracking down each collector, the owner of the items is contracting with Madam Nazar, who often purchases items from collectors, to secure the stolen items.
Man rescued in Colter
By Caylen V. Hornby
Colter is an abandoned town rarely talked about, let alone thought about. However, one poor soul looking for peace in the lonely town was shocked to find a gang of miscreants. The man was captured, learning that the group was there for him. Though the man claimed to not know why they would want to bring him to harm. His time as a captive was cut short when a posse of cowpokes road through the town. “We were on our way to see the Adlers when we heard the man begging to be set free, we couldn’t just ignore it,” one of the riders said. They quickly attacked the gang, proving the better shots, they cut the gang down in minutes. “They freed me and I paid them and road off, I am grateful for their help but I don’t think they wanted the conversation either,” he said. As to his future safety, the victim shrugged, “is one ever safe in the Five States?”
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The Great Plains Sniper is arrested, again.
By Nick McCrary
Another man has come forward and admitted to being the Great Plains Sniper while handing in a scoped rifle. This comes after a different man did the same thing last week. Blackwater Police arrested and processed the man, but are unsure what do with two men in their cells claiming to be the Great Plains Sniper. No other evidence is available to verify or counter either man’s claim. The Bureau of Internal Revenue had been eager to get their hands on the Great Plains Sniper last week, but were prevented from doing so. Now, however, they seem to be embracing the distance. “Two guys both claiming to the Sniper, its a damn mess and we are glad to not be pulled in,” said an anonymous member of the Bureau. Federal authorities have provided an investigator to the Blackwater Police to look into these admissions of guilt.
Explosions break the typical Tall Trees quiet
By Daisy Fairman
Hunters in Tall Trees had the activities disrupted when explosions sent the wildlife scurrying out of the area. “I had a great shot lined up,” said a hunter, “when an explosion sent a perfect buck fleeing.” Several people who heard the explosions rode to Blackwater to report it. Witness accounts are unclear as to how many explosions there were. At least one claims over dozen explosions while others claim around three. The explosions were joined by several gunshots as well. By the time authorities arrived the shooting and explosions had ended. Several dead bodies were found near blown up moonshining equipment. Investigators were stumped however, when they noticed three boats on fire at the Aurora Basin. “What was the point? Where were they taking the moonshine, to the other side of the damn lake?” an investigator asked. No evidence was recovered that could identify the dead or their attackers.
Man claims to have been robbed of treasure map
By Emerry Cosberry
A man claiming to have been robbed arrived in Valentine to visit Doctor Ben Calloway this week. The man complained of slight dizziness following a head injury sustained during a robbery. “I managed to get my hands on a treasure map but had difficulty finding the treasure, so I offered to sell it to a woman I saw traveling,” the man said. He offered the map for $10, however, the woman pulled out a pistol. “I quickly dropped the price to $5, but she raised her gun and pistol whipped me,” he claimed. When he woke up the woman was gone and he had a splitting headache. Doctor Calloway says the headache should subside, and provided some medicinal remedies to help in the short term. Authorities have no leads on the suspect.
Woman fights off predators for eggs on the short of the Elysian Pool, regrets it
By Van R. Seldon
A woman now fighting for her has a warning for fellow travelers: do not eat anything from around the Elysian Pool. While resting and remaining stable, she told me her story. She heard a few animals growling at each other while traveling near the Elysian Pool. She investigated and found that a small pack of coyotes had discovered an egg nest on the shoreline. “I was hungry and I like eggs,” she said with what sounded what was surely meant to be a chuckle but came out as a raspy series of short breaths. She said that killing the coyotes was easy, but she opted not to skin them because of their mangy coats. “They didn’t look healthy,” she said, but she did not connect the mangy fur to the small lake. It is known throughout the Five States, that the traveling woman Madam Nazar will often purchase such eggs. However, this woman chose to cook and eat them. It did not take long for her to regret that decision.
“They didn’t quite taste right, but I was still hungry and so I ate them anyway. All four,” she said. The poor taste was just a warning of what was to come and soon she was doubled over with intense stomach pain. It became difficult for her to hold the food down and began throwing up her food. The Valentine doctor Ben Calloway, who is now overseeing her recovering, said had she not thrown up and expelled much of the poisonous food, she would be dead. As it is, the doctor expects a full recovery. The Elysian Pool has drawn attention from naturalists and others for quite some time. The area is known to produce fish too poisonous to eat as well be populated by mangy and otherwise unhealthy animals. Investigations into the area have not discovered the source of the lake’s problems. Every investigation that has gotten close has been shutdown by local, or in some cases federal, officials. This has led many to believe nefarious motives. “What are they hiding that we can’t even get a thorough investigation of the area?” the Valentine Doctor Calloway. Officials linked to the area have not responded to our request for comment.
Saint-Denis Taken Hostage by Raiders!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Wednesday began like any other day in Saint-Denis. Times were tough, but the citizens were really used to that by now. Saint-Denis’s capitol building was packed to the brim by noon. On the docket, that day was several proposals involving the Suffragette movement, food for the poor, railroad worker pay, and finally scheduling the long-awaited trial of killer nurse Honora Kelley. Governor Franklin Bufford was busy that day, sending his lieutenant governor Eleanor Rockwell at the last minute. Mayor Henri Lemieux escorted the firebrand politician to her seat. Notable citizens of Saint-Denis who were in attendance included Sándor Báthory Kardos, Lillian Powell, Father O’Leary, and Elizabeth Cotton. An associate of Abigail Tremaine, Don Morgan, was also silently watching the procession.
At around 1:30 PM, local police spied a group of men approaching the city. Little was thought of it at first until the group continued to grow in size. By the time it reached the capital building, it was close to an army. Police chief Lambert was quickly informed a mob was slowly walking through the city streets. He ordered his officers to push them back, but little could be done. A few small-scale fights happened, but the lawmen were quickly beaten back. It was reported a couple of Saint-Denis officers even joined the huddled masses. No shots were fired.
The army were clearly Lemoyne Raiders, armed and ready to fight at a moment’s notice. The army quickly surrounded the capital building, all without its occupants even aware of what was happening. Miss Rockwell was in the middle of a diatribe when a shot was fired. One of Don Morgan’s bodyguards outside the main room tried to draw his revolver; he was quickly cut down. Sensing something was wrong, Rockwell ordered all able body individuals to barricade the doors.
Kardos and Cotton managed to tip over a bookcase near the main entrance. Footsteps could be heard everywhere. Then, for a moment, all was quiet. Then someone took out a knife and began trying to cut his way through the wooden door. Witnesses reported hearing chants of “confederacy forever” over and over through the building. Eventually, a small hole was cut in the wooden door; a hand tried to punch through and grab the handle. Kardos and Cotton drew revolvers, his a Gasser, hers a LeMat. They both fired several rounds through the door. The unnamed Lemoyne Raider was reportedly hit twice in the chest; he died within minutes. Staffers and ordinary citizens were in a full-blown panic; a couple of civilians tried to calm them down. One, a former Indian Wars veteran, tackled an assistant to lieutenant governor Rockwell and held her down to avoid gunfire.
At around 2 PM, a man walked onto the observation gallery above the room. Rockwell instantly knew who it was. Lindsey Wofford, leader of the Lemoyne Raiders. He called out for Governor Bufford, only to realize he wasn’t there. He made his demands heard anyway.
“We true sons of the south are tired of living under the oppression of a traitor! A Union general in charge of my state is treason! We had a good thing going with the last governor, and I want those days to return. I shall only ask this once, send your carpetbagging boss packing and replace him with a true Lemoyne born politician, and we will leave. I also wouldn’t mind seeing you leave as well, woman. My reputation speaks for itself; I do not need to say what the alternative is.”
Rockwell, stubborn as she always is, used such colorful words that we cannot reprint. Wofford smiled, took off his hat, and left the gallery. Soon, raiders were climbing down from the balcony, and again trying to get the main door open.
Elizabeth Cotton quickly stepped up; she ordered Kardos to keep that main door closed at all cost. She pulled out a second revolver and shot a raider who was lighting a fire bottle. An intense battle began on the floor of the capitol building. An unknown amount of casualties occurred during this moment. One Raider attempted to hogtie Miss Rockwell, but he was gunned down by Miss Cotton. As the day grew old, it was clear help wasn’t coming anytime soon. At this point, mayor Lemieux broke a window and told his trusty assistant Jean Marc Mercier to run and tell everyone what happened in case the Raiders kill them all.
That dear reader is how we know what is happening right now. As of now, the Lemoyne Raiders are still besieging the capital building of Saint-Denis. Messages have been sent to Fort Wallace, but it will take time for help to arrive. Local citizens are horrified but not entirely shocked at the situation. One man told us quote, “It always seems like terrible things keep happening in this city. Whether it’s a riot, shooting, lynching, or industrial accident, it always happens here. Saint-Denis is truly a cursed place.”
Cowpokes suddenly changing their appearance, baffling friends and enemies alike
By Frederick Vannesse
I must warn the readers of this publication that the following story will not make a lick of sense. Stories are going around the Five States of folks changing their face into a new face. Go ahead and read that line again and then remember that I warned you this story would not make sense. Many cowpokes have reported being approached by what looked like a complete stranger, only to be greeted as if they had known the person for years. “This strange man just walked up to me all friendly like and says, ‘ello there’ and I’m just looked at him and asked, ‘do I know you?'” It turns out, the witness did know the stranger. They had been posse mates in the Five States for over a year. What the witness found more baffling is how this effected his memory. “It’s like I remembered his old face, but at the same time, I remember him as always having this new face,” the man said with an indescribable look of horror.
Everywhere I went, I found similar responses. Folks remember old and new faces as always existing at the same time. One person who changed their face was shot on sight by a trigger happy friend who thought the person was an enemy. Another witness claimed to have paid a stranger no mind, until the stranger tackled them and started beating them while proclaiming to be the witness’ debt owner. “I didn’t recognize him, but he sure recognized me,” the witness said. The confusion of how one can change their face in such a drastic manner as to appear as a different person entirely has shaken the Five States. For a story such as this, unbelievable as it is, I knew of only one source who could enlighten me: the Respawners. I met with two Respawners, known Avatar Gregoria Haskins and Shane Close.
“If you cannot understand that the world is in fact false, then you cannot even begin to understand the face changing,” Miss Haskins stated. Mr. Close elaborated, “very few understand that the world we live in is false and was created with purpose. That purpose is to entertain people who do not exist in the Five States without a type of intermediary device.” The pair went on to explain that some of those people entertained by the false world that is the Five States often want to change their appearance. “We understand why you would think this isn’t possible,” Miss Haskins said, “I mean, what kind of doctor can alter one’s appearance. Certainly it is impossible!” “But when you realize the world is false then the impossible becomes an option,” Mr. Close jumped in. If any of this makes sense to you, well then, I congratulate you. Despite my extensive discussion with the two Respawners, I am no closer to understanding this situation than when I first started. “Don’t concern yourself too much with not understanding. Just have fun,” Miss Haskins said, “most will never understand the truth and that is quite fine.”
Car Accident Rate Rises in America
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Citizens of the Five States haven’t had to contend with automobiles much. The so-called self-driving carriages are the wave of the future if you ask a wealthy individual in New York. The odds of seeing such a vehicle, however, is unlikely in the near future here in the Five States. The reason is quite simple; people are dying at an appalling rate.
Much has been said about riders being thrown from horseback, but the death rate among automobile drivers is truly ghastly. Despite few being used in the United States, it’s reported that over 100 people have died from automobile-related accidents in a two-year period. This number merely includes accidents to the driver; the number gets significantly worse if we factor in fatalities to people struck by the vehicle.
The leading cause of these deaths is likely due to the increased speed these vehicles can travel and the lack of safety belts for drivers. Such safety equipment is sorely needed, and by the time these vehicles come to the Five States, probably in about ten to fifteen years, hopefully, they will be safe to use!
The U.S. becomes a world power
By Ivy Seager
Following the conclusion of the Spanish-American War, Spain lost most of its holdings. As a result, tts significance as a world power reduced. The United States now appears to be poised to fill the void Spain leaves behind. Never before has the U.S. been responsible for so many holdings outside of the United States. Given the recent annexation of Hawaii, some expected the U.S. government to simply annex the new territories. However, few who have the power to get annexation moving have expressed interest in actually doing so. Still, with official colonies of its own and the need to project power far from its borders, the U.S. has no choice but to join the international stage. Through both owning extensive territory and shows of its military prowess, the U.S. is official a world power that other nations must treat with respect. This new and growing reputation has several Members of Congress who wish to return to isolationism very concerned about obligations that could bind the country in violation with the U.S. Constitution.
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