Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
The Five States experiences a white Christmas
As expected, snow has fallen across the Five States. Even areas that are typically warm have suddenly been covered in snow. In the town of Armadillo, where folks have been fighting cholera and other diseases, the snow has been just one more challenge. Many escaped the cold by finding shelter in the abandoned train station or the town saloon. Many folks shared what few blankets they had and kept warm mostly by staying bundled together. The quietness and stillness of the town does not truly convey the sense of dread and despair each new day brings the few survivors. A sense of dread and despair that grows greater with each new snowflake that reaches the ground. But across the region, in Saint Denis, the cold weather tells a different story.
Saint Denis is richly decorated with lights to celebrate the Christmas holiday. They glow brightly in the hazy snowfall, creating a sense of hope and optimism. The entire city does not retreat into abandoned buildings and saloons. Many folks walk under the snowfall wearing layers of warm clothing. They speak cheerily of the snowy weather and the Christmas season. Groups of folks gather and sing carols in widely traveled areas of the city. Yet, even here in Saint Denis, the sense of despair does not truly disappear. In some parts of the city there are no lights except that which is generated by the flame of a candle. Here, residents do retreat into buildings to stay warm, lacking the layers of warm clothes of their fellow Saint Denis residents. However, even here there is joy and hope that is lacking in the dying town of Armadillo. These folks do not just hide in buildings to escape the cold, but to join in joyous celebrations with others.
Nathaniel Cross resurfaces in Tumbleweed with a hogtied bounty
By Alois Burditt
Nathaniel Cross was, at one point, a very prolific bounty. However, he was also one of the early critics of the BHTC. Residents of Tumbleweed were not shocked at all, admitting to seeing Mr. Cross on multiple occasions recently. While Mr. Cross sat at the saloon drinking a beer, I approached him with some questions. He mostly responded with intense glares, unlike previous encounters where Mr. Cross was quite talkative. Mentioning the BHTC earned me a growl from Mr. Cross, who then said, “the bastards used me and others to settle personal vendettas,” before saying several words unfit for print. Mr. Cross now camps frequently near Tumbleweed, saying Sheriff Freeman is one of the few he can trust presently. Though many residents also stated that Mr. Cross disappears from the area for long stretches of time. Mr. Cross did not explain this long absences from Gaptooth Ridge.
“Prophet” ran out of small homestead
By Caylen V. Hornby
A man claiming to be a prophet of the gods traveled to the Adler ranch with a very specific message: Jake Adler is going to be murdered. The man said strangers would arrive in the future and their arrival would bring the end of Jake Adler’s life. The alleged prophet went on to say that there was nothing that could be done, stating that, “the code is written and cannot be changed. He will die over and over. She will rise again and again.” The Adlers are well known in the Five States. One of the few residents of Ambarino who actively try to help the folks who call the snowy region their home. Many cowpokes have taken jobs from the Adlers, who act on behalf of the region as de facto leaders. The Adlers said they had to threaten the man to get him to leave.
Tragic Christmas Accident in Blackwater
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Tis the season of the year, Christmas. It’s that time when love and joy are in the air… unless you live in Blackwater. Christmas spirit is somewhat dead now, as Blackwater police accidentally shot a man dressed as Santa Claus.
The man, as of yet still unidentified, thought it would be nice to hand out presents to neighbors. It has been a dreadful year in so many ways; it’s not hard to understand what he was trying. The man figured he should drop the gifts down chimneys, thus leading to the holiday outfit.
Blackwater police were on duty as usual when one officer spotted a man jumping from roof to roof. Assuming burglary or worse, they opened fire. The poor man was shot at least three times, with at least the second shot being fatal. The man’s family is expected to sue the department for excessive force without any justification. Unless throwing a candy cane is considered assault, that is.
Banjo player delights Christmas travelers
By Van R. Seldon
Despite the heavy snow and cold temperatures one Butcher Creek resident did his best to delight travelers. “Folks in the Five States are a hardy bunch and I never saw the snow stop ’em,” the man said, “So I got me banjo and played some songs for folks riding by.” A few cowpokes stopped to dance, sing, and join in on the festiviities. “Don’t matter how cold it is, a little song and a bit o’ alcohol will always warm the bones.” While most cowpokes rode by without so much as a nod, the banjo player was happy for the visitors he did get.
Holiday bounty hunter gets more than they bargained for in Valentine
By Emery Cosberry
A bounty hunter dressed as Santa Claus, or perhaps it was Santa Claus himself, was killed attempting to bring in a bounty target. Witnesses say the man removed a large red cloak and chased the bounty target while wielding a rifle. Unfortunately for the festive bounty hunter, a close range fight insured in which the target beat the bounty hunter to death. No lawman in Valentine was able to identify the bounty hunter, thus leading some to claim it really was Santa Claus. However, others point out that there were no reindeer spotted either and that Santa Claus is an immortal and should not be able to be killed.
Man killed in trolley accident
By Aloysius Levron
Most know the Five States is a place of many dangers, but rarely does one consider the danger of crossing the street. This was the last lesson one cowpoke learned this week. The man was spotted running through the city and made a dash to cross the street. However, he had not realized the trolley car was coming down the road. While slower than a running horse, the trolley has considerably more mass and the potential to become trapped underneath the vehicle. This is what happened to the poor man. He ran passed his friend right into the oncoming street car. The impact immediately send the man to the ground where he was promptly trampled by the vehicle. Unlike a horse trampling, where the victim is at least not trapped and can be seen by a doctor, being trampled by a trolley leaves you stuck beneath a heavy vehicle. The man survived the impact, however, he died trapped beneath the vehicle before he could be freed.
Great Cattle Drive Goes Awry
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
On Sunday, a small army of cowpokes tried to do something that hadn’t been done in years, drive cattle across the frontier. The last successful drive was literally decades ago, by my calculations. Despite seemingly insurmountable problems, the cowpokes decided to do it anyway.
The plan was to pick up some cattle from Emerald Ranch and drive them all the way to Armadillo. Naturally, the plan almost immediately went south, with several cows jumping off a cliff to their deaths. Nearly all types of calamities occurred, from horses running into each other, stray gunfire, and wolves attacking at the worst moment. There were so many unlucky events through this cattle drive; it would beggar belief among even the hardiest of folks to hear it all. Through heaven and hell, they persisted, and by sheer luck, the cowpokes made it across the Five States with four cattle and an oxen left.
Unfortunately, one cowpoke didn’t load his varmint rifle correctly; instead of knocking out the oxen, it merely bled to death. Still, an amused train did buy the surviving cattle, for a meager 15 dollars. Still content, the cowpokes partied at the Armadillo saloon.
The party didn’t last; a bar fight was started and quickly interrupted when one drunk cowpoke through a lit stick of dynamite into the crowd. At least 15 men were killed in the blast, eight more caught Cholera days later. The entire trip was a miserable failure by all accounts, but those who survive still claim to regret nothing. Cowpokes are a hardy bunch, if nothing else.
Along the coasts, children gather Christmas gifts for loved ones
By Federick Vanesse
Christmastime is marked by many traditions. Perhaps the one many focus on the most is the tradition of giving gifts. This tradition is one children love taking place in as the recipient, but many children also want to be a gift giver. Lacking money, many children on the coast have taken to plucking sea shells from the send and giving them as gifts. These simple gifts represent a budding tradition in America’s youth to not just take, but to give. Many see this tradition as an optimistic path for the country’s youth.
World’s first Christmas stamp issued
By Ivy Seager
The Postmaster General of Canada, General William Mulock, has issued the country’s first two toned stamp. Further, the stamp went into effect on Christmas day, resulting in the date being displayed on the stamps as “XMAS 1898.” Though this stamp is not decorative or meant to commemorate Christmas directly. Some have claimed the stamp was meant to come out earlier to honor the Prince of Wales. Queen Victoria appeared displeased by this and so Canada’s Postmaster General adjusted “prince” to mean “Prince of Peace.” Thus, the first Christmas stamp in the world was issued on Christmas Day by complete accident.
The Five States Herald 