Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Spanish-American War officially ends!
By Ivy Seager
After weeks of continued signalling that the war in the Caribbean was over, a resolution for peace has finally been agreed upon. As part of the agreement to end hostilities, Spain has given up all of its holdings in the area, most notably that of Cuba and the Philippines. This opens up the possibility that these nations could end up claiming their independence and start a strong trend of the United States freeing nations from colonialism. It was not so long ago that the United States itself thrust the shackles of colonialism off its own wrists. However, in the short term, these newly freed nations will be under the careful guidance of the United States.
“It is important to understand that this is a temporary measure and that in the long term, we have no interests in replacing Spain as the Masters of the Caribbean,” said President MacAlister. These nations have known the yoke of colonialism for their entire living memory, and as such, the United States believes a slow transition to independence is necessary. As a result, more than one of the island nations are officially being labeled as belonging to the United States. This has brought a significant amount of criticism. However, this action is being defended as necessary to ensure the defense of these small, fledgling nations. “Some may see vulnerable nations, ripe for the picking,” explained President MacAlister, “but with the United States acting in this fashion, the villains of the world will think twice before attacking our vulnerable allies.”
There is no timetable on this transition, but, it is generally agreed that peace will be beneficial for all. Many criticize that the war was even started in the first place, but even those critics are happy that it is over. Servicemen are expected to start arriving home soon.
The Gabbro Ram, does it exist?
By Alois Burditt
Many naturalists have headed to the Rio Bravo area in search of the Gabbro Ram. Unfortunately, for a large segment of the population, the Gabbro Ram appears to not exist. “I have a friend, stays in the Five States too, but we only correspond with letters, “explained a cowpoke, “never once rode with him, but he said he found the Gabbro but nobody I ride with has ever seen it.” Indeed, the Gabbro Ram seems to be rarer than most animals for many cowpokes. Harriet Davenport claims some must lack “Perfect Sight” for seeing such a creature, and therefore they will never find it. Miss Davenport claims that in time, however, the “Perfect Sight” for seeing the Gabbro Ram will no longer be needed. “At that point, everyone, including those who can only see with One sight will see the Gabbro Ram,” Miss Davenport claimed confidently.
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Man arrested in Tumbleweed after failed robbery
By Wylie Frey
A man named Caldwell Lamay was arrested after he spent an hour twirling his guns and threatening to rob the local gunsmith. Deputies watched the man but had not taken him seriously. “He just seemed to be all bluster. His guns were too damn clean, like they have never been used,” said Sheriff Sam Freeman. However, despite not being taken seriously, Mr. Lamay entered the gunsmith with a hand on his revolver. Witnesses report that Mr. Lamay shouted that this was a robbery, however a patron in the store noted that Mr. Lamay never pulled his gun out. Instead, Mr. Lamay appeared dismayed and confused, staring at his gunbelt as if his gun had disappeared. “Where is it? Where’d it go?” Mr. Lamay allegedly shouted before two deputies entered the building and arrested him. As they pulled Mr. Lamay out of the gunsmith’s store, he began yelling, “I found it, my gun is back!” With several deputies holding their own weapons at the ready, Mr. Lamay wisely chose to keep his weapons holstered.
Poachers drowned in Dakota River
By Jane Duran
Another set of poachers were found brutally killed and drowned, this time near Window Rock. One of the men actually survived the attack this time. He was found with his face partially submerged, having been left to drown in a similar fashion as poachers in New Austin. However, he was found before he died and was brought to Valentine, where the town doctor saw to him. The man is still unconscious and is not expected to survive the week. Federal authorities have said that they will not standby idly as vigilantes take the law into their own hands. “Those caught playing lawman without an official badge or bounty hunter’s license will be arrested and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law,” said a spokesman for the National Bureau of Criminal Identification.
The Grief Gang unknowingly attacks bounty hunter Nathaniel Cross
By Nick McCrary
The Grief Gang, led by outlaw Billy Grief, was roaming the Great Plains recently looking for a victim. It was their misfortune to choose Nathaniel Cross, a well known bounty hunter, as he was passing through the region. Billy Grief missed his opening shot, “it’s always a mistake to open fire and miss,” said Cross afterwards. Cross quickly whipped out his Bolas and hogtied the gang leader. “By the looks of him, he was new to the Five States. Couldn’t been more than a month in the region,” Cross said. Grief’s gang quickly responded, however, Cross was able to make short work of the first gang members with a sniper rifle. “A few tried to flank me, would have been a good idea if I was alone,” Cross explained.
Cross had been traveling with his longtime companion Akanowa, though she had been a little ways behind when Billy Grief started his attack. The flanking gang members were met by Akanowa as she rode hard toward the sound of gunfire. The flankers never made it to Cross. The surviving members of the gang pulled back, leaving Billy Grief prone and hogtied in the Great Plains. “We left him there, seeing as his associates didn’t find him worth moving, neither did we,” Cross said.
Beloved Dog Slain in Dramatic Tall Trees Robbery
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Manzanita Post is a somewhat out of the way little community of Norwegian settlers. Mostly ignored by the citizens of Blackwater and passing travelers. They make their presence only known during the occasional business deal and during times of crisis. Well, this week, a crisis of sorts was experienced. Blackwater police chief Oswald Dunbar was approached by a Manzanita local named Nils. He claimed someone broke into the settlement, tied up the community members, and robbed them of all-important valuables. Worst of all, Nils favorite dog, a border collie named Vidkun, was cruelly killed.
Dunbar later did an inventory of all the stolen items, canned food, boxes of ammunition, gun oil, and some wildlife bait. Along with everyday household items, valuables such as rings, bracelets, necklaces, and rare coins were also stolen. When pressed why a small community of Norwegian immigrants had so much jewelry, Nils refused to answer. The total value of all the stolen items was roughly 1000 dollars, quite a haul if you’re a criminal. This wasn’t the first robbery committed at Manzanita Post, but this one was by far the most profitable.
The type of rope used was fairly advanced, usually the kind wielded by bounty hunters. The remains of the dog were in a sorry state. Someone had used a bowie knife to cut open the stomach, usually a trick used for skinning dead animals, not living ones. There was no sign of a struggle or a forced break-in, the perpetrator likely used a lockpick or something similar and was quiet enough not to wake all the residents.
When asked to identify the criminal, Nils kept saying it was dark, and the person wore black. He kept repeating this over and over. The only identifying information Blackwater police managed to obtain was that the intruder wore shoes or boots that made a distinctly loud noise when walking on the floorboards. Dunbar also found it strange Nils kept saying the person, as if he knew the gender of the person but refused to say.
No suspect has been named, although Dunbar has a few suspects in mind. Whether justice will be served is sadly anyone’s guess at this time.
The downside of animal population growth, criminal activities increase in the Five States
By William Cormac (Freelancer)
This past few weeks the Five States saw a large increase in animal activities alongside new hunters and naturalists. But in my travels I have also seen how honest people were expelled from their homes by outlaws like the O’Driscolls, or how the Skinners seized abandoned structures along West Elizabeth. This led me to do an investigation on what areas were the most affected by this. I have concluded that New Austin, West Elizabeth and Ambarino are the places where these activities increased the most. When questioning the authorities in these states, they all had the same thing to say, “now that there are more animals these gangs are no longer afraid of starvation, that makes them spend more energy and resources in assaulting innocent people or fighting among themselves for the best places “.
So my advice, dear readers, is that if you travel through these areas, try to be accompanied or travel through high visibility parts. If you are in New Hanover or Lemoyne, be careful, because the situation may start to escalate there too and it never hurts to be prepared.
Drunk Revenue Man Babbles in Valentine
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Andrew Boutwell, a relatively high-ranking member of the Revenue Agency, was found wandering Valentine’s streets this morning. He was still wearing his uniform, but instead of carrying a firearm, he wielded a jug of moonshine.
For hours he kept limping from store to store, yelling about his beliefs about men from space. He would rant about men from space in shiny flying wagons hovering over New Hanover in between chugging moonshine. Other bizarre claims included men from Mars are coming to invade, that life and reality is pointless, and something about the south will rise again.
After a while, sheriff Malloy politely escorted Boutwell to the local jail. He is currently still in a cell, although not yet sober. Representatives on behalf of the Revenue Agency in Washington are reportedly both embarrassed and somewhat relieved he wasn’t killed. Whether he will remain in the Revenue Agency or will be quietly kicked out is a lingering question. Not that any locals care.
Rancher warns naturalists to leave his livestock alone
By Emery Cosberry
The wave of naturalists in the Five States has brought new attention to the natural, untamed world we live in. Yet, many have seemed to ignore that naturalists do not just seek out samples of wild animals, but have turned their eye on domestic breeds as well. For Eugene Wegner, owner of Emerald Ranch, this has not gone unnoticed. While he refused to be quoted for this paper, witnesses and authorities have said Wegner frequently complains that folks are putting his livestock to sleep. “It’s true,” said one of the farmhands, “I’ve seen fellers shoot the livestock with a small rifle, then take their blood.” When asked why they do not attack these intruders, they explain that they are not hired guns and know they would not stand a chance against hardened cowpokes. Sometimes, the farmhands are woken in the middle of the night by Mr. Wegner’s screams. “Once, he woke us up and we came out to find all of the animals sleeping and a few eaten by wolves,” the farmhand admitted. The wolves had apparently eaten their fill, having left over half of the livestock alive and still asleep.
Authorities advise caution in the area, reminding folks that Mr. Wegner has the right to defend his property. Further, authorities have announced more frequent patrols of the area.
Man mistaken as the Smoking Gun, arrested in Saint Denis
By Aloysius Levron
A wealthy resident of Saint Denis was arrested this week when he mistaken to be the Smoking Gun. The man was slightly taller than average, well dressed, and had on a flat cap. If that was not enough, the man was smoking a premium cigarette, however, it was not of the handrolled variety the Smoking Gun is known to prefer. Saint Denis police responded to the report of the Smoking Gun relaxing in the Bastille Saloon with great force, sending a number of policeman to the location. “We covered every exit to ensure he wouldn’t escape,” said one of the policemen involved. They arrested the man without incident, though the man denied the accusations and shouted that his, “lawyer will set it right, I’ll soon own this police department, Saint Denis itself too!”
Once word of the arrest spread, I made my way to the police department to interview the man. It was during this interview that it became painfully obvious that the man arrested was not the Smoking Gun. The man had no scarring on his face nor did he have gunshot wound on his arm, recent or otherwise. Upon pointing this out to Chief of Police Benjamin Lambert, he cursed the incompetence of his policemen and freed the wrongly arrested man.
Outlaw caught by Rhodes lawmen after reckless ride through Bolger Glade takes horse’s life
By Mathilde Orry
An outlaw stole a cowpoke’s horse in Rhodes this week, though it did not end the way they intended it. While the outlaw tried to escape, the stolen horse refused to cooperate and bucked him right off. The horse’s owner yelled for authorities and Rhodes lawmen came looking for the horse thief. Witnesses report that the horse thief fled south while whistling frantically. He mounted a sprinting horse, presumably the one he whistled for. Lawmen pursued the horse thief, now on his own horse, until the outlaw attempted a daring sprint through Bolger Glade. “It didn’t work out for him, crashed in one of the trenches,” one of the lawmen said. They arrested the dazed outlaw and put the fatally injured horse out of its misery as the outlaw wept.
The Avatars are disappearing, warn the Respawners
By Adam Parvey
The Respawners have long offered an interesting perspective on events in the Five States. Whereas most accept the truth that this world is the real one and that we truly live in 1898, the Respawners believe the world is a facade. According to the Respawners, the false world was constructed by someone outside of this world. Most of the population are constructs as well. “We ain’t real, you know,” said Jedediah, a Five States resident who claims to be part of the false world. “Some of us are aware, we know we will probably die but if we do, we will be reborn,” Jedediah explained. Respawners hold special reverence for those they claim were not created for this world, but exist outside of it and yet somehow find a way to enter it all the same. These people are called Avatars by the Respawners, and they have allegedly decreased in number drastically.
“There was a time when over 20 Avatars walked among us at any given moment,” Jedediah elaborated, “now, you’re lucky to be among eight Avatars, often less.” Jedediah and other Respawners find this to be a troubling trend. While the world can function without Avatars, Jedediah wonders if it will. “I get the feeling this whole world was created for them, if suddenly they ain’t here, does that mean our world gets destroyed too?” Other Respawners have noted that the world is more peaceful with less Avatars in it and hope to enjoy that peace while it last.
Baseball history made by two pitchers
By Rutherford X. Downing
Two pitchers made history in two separate games. Jay Hughes pitched a no-hitter against the Boston Braves. The young pitcher drew some attention two years ago when he led his minor league team to victory against the Baltimore Orioles in an exhibition game, limiting the famed team to just three hits and no runs. On that very same day Theodore Breit also pitched a no-hitter against the Pittsburgh Pirates. This was Breit’s second no-hitter, his first coming on his first day in the major leagues seven years ago. This marked the first time in the history of baseball that two no-hitters were pitched on the same day.
Coup d’état ends the “Hundred Days Reform” in China
By Frederick Vannesse
Empress Dowager Cixi has ousted the Guangxu Emperor from the throne after a plan that must have taken months to plot. While details behind how this was set in motion are not known, it is known that several influential members of the Guangxu Emperor’s Court changed their support during the coup. Whether these alliances shifted because of the coup or were a part of the coup is also unknown. It is believed that the Guangxu Emperor is under house arrest and has not been executed. Empress Dowager Cixi promised a swift end to the controversial “Hundred Days Reform,” in an effort to restore more traditional values.
The Five States Herald 