Issue LIX

Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.

Miner claims to discover undead creature, falls ill the next day

By Frederick Vannesse

A man who has been mining his entire adult and teenage life has claimed to have stumbled upon something he has never seen before. Buried deep within the mine, under several feet of hardened dirt, the man found what he described as an undead creature. “He said it was a man, but with a dead face. It supposedly moaned and moved its arms about,” said a man who spoke with the miner. According to witnesses, the man claimed to have gone back to rescue the man buried in dirt. “I’m pretty sure he was crazy, probably hallucinating. Did anyone tell you about the bite?” another witness asked. Those who spoke to the miner said he had a very “ugly bite mark on his neck.” The wound was described as looking infected and many suggested the infection caused him to hallucinate the undead creature.

The man was unable to go to work the next day, which according to his foreman is the very first day of work he has missed since he started with the company at the age of 12. “I don’t know why he isn’t here, but I’m going to have to mark him down. One more absence and he’ll be fired. Zero tolerance for layabouts here,” his foreman said. As of press time, the miner was reported as still alive but in very poor health. The bite mark was not identified but he is being treated for an infection.

Supply train robbed
By Alois Burditt
A posse of outlaws attacked a supply training moving through Cholla Springs, killing the conductor and making off with several bags of supplies. Guards were employed to protect the train, however they were overwhelmed by the sheer ferocity of the outlaws’ attack. The only survivor said the attack came from both sides of the train, as well as from the rear and the front. This initial attack left the defenders confused while the outlaws boarded the train. Lawmen from Armadillo responded to the sounds of gunfire but by the time they arrived the outlaws were gone.


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Man Hunted through New Austin by Disgraced Bounty Hunters
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
It all started as usual, a man coming out of his tent and brewing some coffee.  Gustave Hoffman, a salesman formerly from Tumbleweed, was technically on the run from the law.  He had gotten into quite the bar fight the previous week, resulting in Sheriff Freeman putting a five-dollar bounty on his head.  For six long days, nobody bothered to collect; it was too small a bounty for most to care.

But things were different on that day, for as he waited for his coffee to brew, vultures were at the ready.  He never heard the first gunshot at first.  He only noticed something was wrong when his tin cup sprang a leak.  He then heard the distinct crackle of gunfire.  Hoffman dove to the ground as bullets reigned down on him.  His tent quickly collapsed, and his prized husky was tragically gunned down.  He had enough time to run and grab his old service revolver, an out of date rifle, and two bandoliers of ammunition.

Hoffman couldn’t understand why anyone would bother targeting him; five dollars is barely enough to get a decent meal these days.  But he knew his only hope was to reach the town of Blackwater and hopefully pay off his bounty.  The former Civil War vet ran from cactus to cactus, hoping to get out of Cholla Springs.  Every now and then, he would fire off a shot from his Colt 1961 in the general direction of his attackers. 

When he neared the long mountain that led into Hennigan’s Stead, he flagged down a rider, hoping he could borrow his horse. Whether by accident or not, the rider was struck in the neck by one of the hunter’s bullets. Hoffman grabbed the horse and kicked it hard as he could. Still, the gunshots kept coming. It was at this moment, near the top of the ridge, that his luck nearly ran out. A gang of Del Lobo outlaws emerged and started firing. Hoffman pulled out the beaten-up revolving rifle he carried, took a deep breath, and pulled the trigger. All six rounds were fired off, striking several of the outlaws and Hoffman’s own hand. Despite the intense pain, he kept kicking that horse to move.

Fortune favors the bold as they say, the Del Lobo’s quickly lost interest in Hoffman, just as his elusive hunters came into view. All he could hear was a maelstrom of gunfire and explosions. For the rest of the ride, Hoffman didn’t hear another gunshot. When he reached Blackwater, he took out all the money he had left and threw it at the teller.

Hoffman had no idea just how lucky he was; a few days later, he received a telegram that merely promised that if he ever again broke the law, he would suffer. It was signed by Sandra Walsh, the leader of the now-disgraced Hangman’s Bureau. To someone as desperate as Walsh, five dollars meant the world to her.


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Rare moose spotted near Barrow Lagoon
By Jane Duran
A tracker named Calendar Dees claimed to have tracked the rare Snowflake Moose to its lair. They have no interest in hunting or sampling the animal but instead have offered to sell the location to the highest bidder. Several hunters and naturalists have met with the tracker, but so far nobody has purchased the location of the moose. “Not sure I can trust a man willing to track an animal down but not kill it,” said a hunter, who opted instead to hire a different local tracker to assist with finding the moose. Dees said that the white coat helps the creature blend into the snowy area making it difficult to spot, thus his information will save time and therefore money. For an extra fee he said he will join the hunter or naturalist to find the animal.

Bear attacks increase in the northern regions of West Elizabeth
By Daisy Fairman
Last week it was reported that a hunter had been found mauled by a bear and then fed on by scavengers. Following this incident, local authorities have noted an increased reporting of bear attacks, particularly in Big Valley near Little Creek River and the Dakota River. The worse reports have been of mauled cowpokes, left for dead after being caught unaware while traveling on the road. In other cases, the victims have been able to flee with little harm except to their pride. One report mentioned a wagon that ran off the road and into a copse of trees, killing one horse instantly and fatally injuring the other. “I was forced to climb on top of the wagon so the bear couldn’t get me,” the wagon driver said. “My passengers were, um, safe the entire time.” The passengers disagreed with that assessment, though they did survive the encounter after a hunter ran the bear off.


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Checkpoints in the Great Plains prove ineffective
By Nick McCrary
Agents of the Bureau of Internal Revenue have been unable to properly monitor the Great Plains. Travelers have reported that agents have not been focused on wagons passing through, but instead have been focused on the surrounding area. “I’m sure they were looking for the Great Plains Sniper,” one traveler said with a chuckle. “Maybe they are looking for the glint of their scope, hoping to take cover before the shooting starts,” another traveler said. The Bureau of Internal Revenue refused to comment directly on the allegations, but did say that, “the Bureau is having no operating problems at this time. All agents are well trained and serve their country well. Arrests and seizures are only down because our agents have been so successful in stamping out illegal moonshiners.”

The Bureau continues to come under intense criticism. For months it has operated without a leader. The last several head agents of the Bureau have been killed in the line of duty, once when their promotion was publicly announced. The Bureau’s inability to find a replacement combined with the difficulty of enforcing federal tax laws in the Five States have given the agency a reputation of incompetence that it cannot easily shake.


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Bounty turned in by masked man, money refused
By Van R. Seldon
The masked man referred to as the Grey Cowboy apprehended a man wanted for arson and the death of his wife and children. Last month the man, who is named Franklin Hagerty, was found guilty. With plenty of evidence collected the case did not take long. However, the arsonist managed to set his own prison wagon on fire while he was being transported. As the lawmen escorting him worked to put out the fire, which involved taking the prisoners out of the wagon first, Hagerthy escaped. A few bounty hunters who went after Hagerthy had been found burned to death, which led to fewer bounty hunters going after him. “I had given up hope that we’d ever see him behind bars again,” said Annesburg Sheriff Jones.

The Grey Cowboy showed up and tossed Hagerthy into the Annesburg Sheriff office, refusing to take the payment associated with Hagerthy’s capture. The Grey Cowboy then tied one end of his rope to the local bounty board and the other end to his horses saddle. With a bit of work, the board was pulled down successfully in protest. This is the first time the Grey Cowboy has been reported turning in a bounty, as he is typically only spotted attacking known gang hideouts. Moreover, with his destruction of the bounty board, it seems the Grey Cowboy is very much aware of the accusations of corruption thrown at the BHTC’s bounty hunting division. Unfortunately, we can only speculate as he has been unable to be reached for an interview.

Tension brews outside Rhodes as traveling Romanian Madam Nazar runs into rival family
By Mathilde Orry
A caravan of Gypsy travelers have long made Rhodes their home. Having given up the life or endless travel, this group has chosen to set roots but still holds on to old grudges. For nearly a year, Madam Nazar has traveled the Five States and traveled through Lemoyne without an issue. However, it was noted by Rhodes residents that Madam Nazar bumped into a well known member of the caravan, a man named Josiah Trelawny. The two exchanged unpleasant words and what some interpreted as threats. Local lawmen were asked to intervene, however they were in no rush to do so and by the time they arrived Madam Nazar had moved on south of Rhodes. Mr. Trelawny refused to discuss the incident with this paper or with lawmen.

Lawmen being held captured across the state of Lemoyne
By Aloysius Levron
Several lawmen have been reported going missing in recent weeks, some being found dead and others being found by travelers tied up to a post and being held a prisoner. Several reports of captured lawmen have reached both the Rhodes Sheriff and the Saint Denis Police Department. The Lemoyne Raiders, a gang of former Confederates and their sympathizers, have been implicated in every hostage situation. The Lemoyne Raiders have a problem with federal authorities, opting for state controlled law enforcement. However, many of the captured lawmen have in fact been state or even local town authorities. Federal authorities have stated that the Lemoyne Raiders are known as an illegal gang, not a legitimate group with law enforcement powers. Travelers are advised to avoid them.

Harvard Hires First Female Teacher

By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)

Harvard is considered by many to be the most outstanding school in the United States.  It has also been, until this week, the hardest glass ceiling to break in academia.  Countless women had tried to become the first faculty member, but all have failed.  Until this week, when a young history and medical teacher managed to do what none have done before.

Professor Christianna Hereford is a leading teacher of western history and medicine, formerly from the Midwest.  We do not know what compelled her to aim for the stars, so to speak.  Her friends describe her as a kindly middle-aged woman, without question a fighter for the suffragettes, but a humble woman unlikely to brag.  Yet she felt there was a chance that Harvard would accept her.

Faculty at Harvard are unlikely to forget the day she showed up, proudly kicking open the door to the president’s office, wearing a simple straw hat, a delicate dress, and carrying a phonograph.  Students describe hearing her argue with the president behind closed doors as the phonograph played songs sung by female opera singers.  Whether it was by sharp intellect, an unwavering determination, or simply a tired old man wanting to be left alone, she was hired. 

She immediately got to work, writing lectures on the history of colonization, and on the prevention of infectious diseases.  One student admitted that her passion for destroying tuberculosis, or as she called it, the emperor of all maladies, was quite inspirational.  Others have taken a dimmer view of a woman in her 50s who has no qualm with pointing out the flaws of those who came before us.

Harvard could, of course, try and fire her, but that move feels unlikely, both for publicity reasons and because some fear she wouldn’t leave anyway.  The future glows strong for this courageous teacher, and those likely to follow.

Railroad magnate in the west buys small local railway
By Adam Parvey
Henry Huntington, nephew of the famous Collis Huntington, has purchased the Los Angeles Railway. The elder Huntington rose to fame as one of the “Big Four” railroad barons who built the transcontinental railroad. Henry has worked alongside his uncle, though he purchased the Los Angeles Railway on his own. Those close to Henry claim the move was meant as friendly competition for his uncle. Henry Huntington plans to expand the railway and sees a future Los Angeles as a railway city.

Jewish people expelled from Eastern European countries.
By Ivy Seager
This week several Jewish people were forcibly removed from Kiev, Ukraine. The move came the same day that Russian Tsar Nikolay II expelled Jewish people from all major Russian cities. Russia has a long history of keeping the Jewish people out of its Empire, though recently that has been more difficult. These aggressive moves to push Jewish people out of Eastern Europe has been met with criticism from several countries.

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