Issue L

Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.

Leading conversationalist arrives in the Five States to protect animals

By Adam Parvey

Harriet Davenport in her tent north of Lagras

Harriet Davenport has come to the Five States to help keep animal populations viable across the region. Miss Davenport’s goals are unique, however. Five States authorities want to keep the animal population viable as a means of ongoing support for the residents that call the Five States home. Miss Davenport wants to protect the animals for their own sake and condemns all forms of hunting, which conflicts with the goals of the BHTC. “While we do not condemn hunting in full, we have aligned with Miss Davenport because of her expertise and innovation in studying animals,” said a BHTC spokesman during the official press release. “Her research has been and will continue to be invaluable in learning how to protect the natural world around us.” Sources in Congress also indicate that there is no serious momentum towards enacting polices based on Miss Harriet Davenport’s ideology, thus she is left to enforce her code of ethics on others herself.

Many cowpokes report that Miss Davenport uses a combination of scolding and a hallucinogenic substance she sprays at people’s faces to punish those that kill animals, even if it was an accident. “Honestly, I’ve come to enjoy it so much that when I see her in the wild, I throw pelts in front of her and brag about my kills so I can get sprayed,” said a cowpoke with a smile that was beginning to outstretch his face. Others have expressed concern with how Miss Davenport learns of their deeds. “Sure, I killed some animals. I’m a damn trader, what am I supposed to do?” asked Isabell Bolton. “Somehow, when I got to her with a few samples I had taken she knew and said her ‘friends’ told her. Can she speak with animals?” Miss Davenport’s entry into the Five States also brought a rival named Gus MacMillian.

Gus MacMillian at his stall in Saint Denis

Mr. MacMillian is a retired big game hunter, known in hunting circles for hunting the biggest and baddest of wild animals. While most may be unfamiliar with Mr. MacMillian, visitors to Strawberry have likely seen his work: the taxidermy bear in the Strawberry Visitor’s Centor. Mr. MacMillian has not come to the Five States to restart his hunting career, but to encourage others to ignore Miss Davenport’s mission and instead hunt rare animals and bring the parts to Mr. MacMillian. In his retirement, Mr. MacMillian has become an expert craftsman and is eager to turn other’s pelts into unique articles of clothing while thwarting Miss Davenport in the process. Both Miss Davenport and Mr. MacMillian have announced that they will travel the Five States reach cowpokes where they are: in the wild.

Man dies in Cholla Springs after running into idle cowpoke
By Alois Burditt
The survivor of the collision has stated they feel awful about the dead person’s fate. “I… well I saw so many animals. More than I’ve seen in the last several months and I just couldn’t believe it,” the survivor said. “I had to stop and just take a look.” He had not heard the approaching cowpoke, who likewise had not been paying attention to the idle man on the road. There was only one witness, a woman driving a wagon to Tumbleweed, and she said the idle man stood up after several minutes but the other cowpoke never stood up at all. “I’m pretty sure the poor soul died on impact, I had seen them moments before racing past me,” the witness said. The identity of the deceased individual is unknown at this time.


Are you awakened by strange noises in the middle of the night? Do you experience dread when criminals hide in your basement or attic? Have you or your family ever seen a criminal or crime? If the answer is yes, don’t wait another minute. Get to your nearest telegraph to contact the professionals at the Herald today! Our courteous and efficient staff is ready receive your telegram 24 hours a day! No matter how unbelievable the story, we’re ready to believe you!


Man assassinated south of Amardillo
By Wylie Frey
A man was killed with a long range weapon in the dark of night while resting at his own camp. The victim was camping with friends who were unharmed. “We had been cooking when we caught wind that our associate was targeted to be killed,” one of the victim’s friends said. “We were sure it was Langton, that son of a gun hasn’t been happy that we stopped working with him.” Authorities found no evidence that tied the infamous bounty hunter James Langton to the murder, despite the claims made by the victim’s friends. The others at the camp had prepared to defend themselves after they heard an assassin was coming, however the dark New Austin night provided plenty of cover for the killer. When the shot finally rang out, they took cover and started looking for the shooter before realizing their friend was dead.

“Shot him clean in the head,” they said. Initially they thought they may all come under fire at any moment and as a result, stayed low and hidden all night long. “We didn’t get a lick of sleep,” one of them admitted. However, when the bright morning sun came up and no more shots came, they reasoned the assassin had moved on.

Fight over rare fox results in man’s death
By Caylen V. Hornby
A rare Marble Fox was spotted in Grizzlies West by a pair of naturalists. According to one of them, the fox gave them quite the run. “It was quick and blended in to the trees well, it wasn’t easy keeping up with it,” they said. One of them managed to hit the fox with a couple of tranquilizer bullets but the fox barely slowed. The pair had finally gotten close enough to line up another shot when they heard a very loud gunshot echo through the air. The fox fell dead in its tracks and a man came out of nearby bushes with his backside covered in snow. “That son of a bitch killed the Marble Fox we had been tracking,” said one of the naturalists. The hunter quickly aimed his gun at the approaching naturalist but did not see the second one in the trees. “I was pretty sure he was gonna shoot me until my partner fired while hidden in the trees,” one of the naturalists confessed. The hunter fell dead in one shot. While the naturalists were not keen on skinning the legendary fox, they figured it was dead so there was no harm in it.

Small hunting town sees its profile raised
By Daisy Fairman
The town of Strawberry has always been a favorite among hunters and those who prefer a quiet life. Far from the approaching civilized world, Strawberry is a place of isolation and escape. However, recently the town has been flooded with new visitors. The flood of visitors is a result of Strawberry being the base of operations for aspiring naturalists. These naturalists and conservationists have already conflicted with long time residents who see hunting as a way of life. Mayor Timmins, already having difficulty with his prohibition measures, is reluctant to get in the middle of a conflict that will leave him unliked by residents or visitors. His official statement was, “Strawberry has room for all those who wish to explore West Elizabeth, for whatever reasons they wish to do so.” Of course he made this statement as a team of men prepared to mount a stuff panther above his bed, leading many to believe the mayor has already taken sides.


$580. The Elephant Rifle is well worth the cost! Using powerful ammunition, this rifle will bring down the most legendary of beasts. Not recommended for use around cliffs.

Heroic Lawmen Gives Life to Save Blackwater
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Although Blackwater has arguably the best-trained force of lawmen in the Five State area, the town has still suffered numerous shootings that have sadly killed countless people. The police are well aware of this and have taken every measure possible to reduce fatalities. Well, this week, one paid the ultimate price in order to minimize those innocent losses.

In the early Monday morning hours, an unknown cowpoke climbed onto the top of a building and began firing at random pedestrians. His name is unknown, but he’s suspected of being military, perhaps a soldier returning from Cuba who merely snapped. Whatever the case, he drew deadly aim, gunning down at least seven innocent people, including a recently married couple.

Blackwater police were at the scene within minutes, but they were woefully underequipped, having only revolvers to fight off a trained gunman wielding a rifle. Still, they fired back, hoping he would be at least unable to continue firing. One policeman, a recruit by the name of Stephen Andrews, ran across the street and quietly climbed up the very ladder the gunman had used. By some good fortune, the gunman didn’t hear the noise. Andrews slowly walked up behind the shooter and pulled out his double-action revolver. Alas, the weapon jammed, alerting the mad fiend. Andrews’s comrades could do nothing as they watched the poor kid trying to wrestle the gunmen to the ground. Eventually, during the scuffle, the shooter’s rifle went off, striking the poor kid in the lower chest. As the gunman began to ready the next shot from his bolt action rifle, Andrews made a fateful decision.

He ran directly at the assailant, tackling the shooter and throwing both of them off over the edge. Blackwater police watched in silence as both the mad cowpoke and Stephen Andrews plummeted onto the street. Both were killed instantly.

Within hours, Andrews was being called a hero, a man willing to sacrifice himself to save others. Police chief Oswald Dunbar both posthumously promoted the fallen officer and awarded the kid a medal for bravery, which was accepted in person by his mother. It’s not every day that Blackwater comes together to celebrate something, especially someone worthy of being called a hero.


TEMPORARILY CLOSED FOR BUSINESS! Wagon shortage across the Five States has effected even me, Wallace of Wallace’s Wagons and Wares! New supply lines already being secured! Also, must protect my menagerie of wild animal friends from damn poachers!

Emerald Ranch farm hands killed in apparent revenge murder
By Emery Cosberry
Several weeks ago, a cowpoke investigating oddities at Emerald Ranch was killed by ranch owner Eugene Wegner. Authorities ruled the killing was a justifiable act of self defense. No controversy surrounded this decision initially. However, it now seems that friends of the killed cowpoke were merely biding their time. The details of the attack on Emerald Ranch come from multiple witnesses that include those from the nearby train station, surviving farm hands who took cover, and other passersby who saw the gunfight. A posse of six masked riders rode into Emerald Ranch from the north. Witnesses at the train station said the group rode by quietly. Several of the riders had a rifle in their hand while two rode more casually, with their weapons remaining holstered or on their back. The train arrived and as people began boarding, the firing started. Several farm hands were killed in the first few seconds of the firing. Those not shot in the first volley quickly took to hiding.

The shooting continued with several riders shooting into windows and even throwing lit bottles of alcohol into the buildings. Lawmen arrived to help, but the riders not shooting into buildings kept a parameter around the ranch and killed lawmen with efficiency as they approached. Many Emerald Ranch residents started to fire back at the riders, though no witnesses reported seeing any of the attackers hit. Most of the focus was on Eugene Wegner’s house, where it is reported Mr. Wegner hid. As the response from the law escalated, the riders were forced to retreat. Lawmen who participated in chasing them down reported the gang was, “quite skilled at shooting while riding, we just couldn’t get close.” The attackers eventually lost the lawmen east of the Kamassa River.


Cooz Company animal traps. Safe and efficient. Catch animals alive and unharmed. Don’t you wish you could buy one? Unfortunately they are banned in the Five States. Petition Congress to bring animal traps to the Five States.

Some conservationists disappointed in animal sampling kit limitations
By Van R. Seldon
A group of conservationists decided to employ their newly purchased naturalist toolkit to answer the question, what is going on in the Elysian Pool? However, this group found out that this particular toolkit is ill-equipped for this kind of sampling. “It just wouldn’t work on the mangy animals there and I don’t know why,” said Alf Thayer. The kit was unable to draw blood from the mangy animals and thus, unable to gather any samples that could be analyzed. Miss Harriet Davenport dismissed concerns about the kit’s limitations. “She just said it is what it is and that we have to start somewhere,” Thayer said. For now, the work to solve the mystery of Elysium Pool will focus on the surrounding environment, until such a time that mangy animals can be sampled.

Dozens mowed down in Saint-Denis Cemetery
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
In the moon drenched hours of Saturday evening, almost 50 people in Saint-Denis were woken up by the sound of repeated gunfire. It came from the cemetery, and it was incredibly loud. It sounded almost like a Gatling gun, but none were reported in the entire city that weekend. Local police rushed to the cemetery within half an hour of the incident and discovered carnage on a near industrial scale.

In the center of the graveyard laid at least 40 corpses, many of them had as many as 15 bullets in them. Police quickly deduced what happened; the Italian gang had met in the cemetery for a meeting with the Irish gang. Angelo Bronte supposedly leads the Italians, and the Irish gang is led by a fella named Ciarán Spillane. Something happened, and both sides were massacred. As you could probably guess, the Irish and Italians don’t get along, but this may have been a peace offering of sorts.

Spillane’s gang is well known for gun running and other crimes involving firearms. This seems to be no exception, although the weapon certainly was unique. In a bright pool of blood was a jammed gun unlike anything seen in Lemoyne, perhaps even the United States. It looked like a rifle, but it had an exposed magazine on the very top near the iron sights, and two extended legs near the muzzle. The magazine seemed to hold at least 50 bullets. Police officials disassembled it and discovered it could repeatedly fire at will through recoil, like a machine. It was, in essence, a mobile Gatling gun. After getting in contact with a few European ambassadors, Saint-Denis police figured out what this device was. It turned out to be a Dutch prototype weapon that’s currently still in development. How it got here is anyone’s guess, possibly it was stolen and subsequently sold to the Irish?

Who caused this bloodbath was equally mysterious. Why would one side suddenly turn on each other? How did both sides get wiped out? The answer soon came when one Irishmen was found barely breathing. There was only enough time to get a man of the cloth. Before he died, he kept saying red woman over and over while touching his hair. Officers think he meant red hair. One officer later discovered footprints in the blood near the automatic firearm; they looked like Hathaway Court Boot marks. Only one woman is known to wear such fancy boots and has red hair, not to mention who is known to kill with such ferocity.

After lying dormant for some time, it seems Myra Rose Hart is back. Although this time, instead of killing lawful men and women, it’s organized crime. I can’t imagine either Angelo Bronte or Ciarán Spillane will be happy that dozens of men were lost, along with the one in a lifetime opportunity of having an automatic repeating rifle. Why she did this is unknown, and to assume otherwise is a fool’s game. God above only understands this woman, and even I’d wager he doesn’t even know.

Missing person: Where is Jessica LeClerk?

By Ivy Seager

Most residents of the Five States are busy exploring the world in new ways. As interest in the natural world increases, so do the number of folks who want to unlock the natural world’s secrets. However, there are a small group of folks who have noticed something else: once prominent socialite Jessica LeClerk is still missing. Mrs. LeClerk was last seen in Blackwater, where she was accused of killing businessman Amos Lancing. Before that, Mrs. LeClerk had been spotted in New Austin, near Fort Mercer, where Teddy Brown was found dead. The widowed Mrs. LeClerk has been on the run ever since, possibly having fled the Five States altogether.

Some have said this was a great miscarriage of justice. “If it’s true that Amos had her husband killed, well then, I don’t think she did anything wrong,” said one resident. However, authorities caution such thinking. “There is no evidence that Mr. Amos Lancing had Mr. Philip LeClerk killed. Officially, it is believed Teddy Brown killed Mr. LeClerk for reasons unknown,” said federal authorities through an official spokesman. The spokesman added, “all evidence points to Mr. Lancing being a man of impeccable morality and a victim to one woman’s blind rage.” Whatever the truth, many cowpokes all over the Five States want to get to the bottom of it and are concerned that Mrs. LeClerk has not resurfaced.

“I mean, are we to abandon her cause?” asked one cowpoke how claimed to have worked with her and asked to keep their name out of the paper. “It just seems wrong to abandon her.” Officially, the investigation into Mr. LeClerk’s, Mr. Brown’s, and Mr. Lancing’s deaths are all closed. “Mr. Brown killed Mr. LeClerk. Mrs. LeClerk then killed Mr. Brown or hired someone to kill him. Then Mrs. LeClerk killed Mr. Lancing in broad daylight. These are the indisputiable facts, “said Blackwater Chief of Police Oswald Dunbar. He continued, “Mrs. LeClerk is an outlaw. She isn’t missing, she’s in hiding.”

New ‘loop-de-loop’ roller coaster coming to Coney Island
By Frederick Vannese

Edwin Prescott was awarded for a patent for a new type of roller coaster track called the ‘loop-de-loop.’ This first of its kind roller coaster has part of its track bent back into a loop which the roller coaster goes through, suspending riders upside down for a brief moment. Prescott claims the ‘loop-de-loop’ is perfectly safe saying, “due to centrifugal action, the contents of the car remains securely in place and the car follows the track.” Additional safety measures are being employed to ensure that even under a malfunctioned, riders are safe. The new roller coaster is set to debut later this month and has already drawn many onlookers as well thrill seekers eager to try the roller coaster out.

French painter Eugene Boudin passes away
By Humphrey Harker
Many are mourning the passing of Eugene Boudin, best known for painting landscapes and especially beaches. He was one of the first French painters to begin focusing on the outdoors and wowed many with his accurate renderings of water and the objects and creatures that move through it. Those close to Mr. Boudin said that he recently returned home believing that he was at the end of his life. In his younger days, Mr. Boudin often traveled. This travel afforded him the opportunity to absorb the natural world and truly come to understand how to capture the ocean’s fluid movements. It was also during his younger days that Mr. Boudin convinced a young caricature cartoonist named Claude Monet to focus on landscapes instead cartoons. Not long after returning home, Mr. Boudin passed away. It is said he passed away while staring up into the English Channel sky that he painted so often.

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