Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
BHTNC disbands, members seeking more profitable investments
By Adam Parvey
There was a time when the BHTNC was the hope of the Five States. The group of private investors was originally formed as the BHTC (Bureau for Hurdling a Tarrying Congress) before adopting the much longer name of the Bureau for Harmonious and Tenacious Negotiations and Capitalization (BHTNC). The private investors promised to do what the legislatures and other Five States authorities would not: fund new opportunities for those in the Five States. They started with a bang, introducing three new jobs to the Five States: bounty hunting, trading, and collecting rare items. The job of ‘naturalist’ was added later. However, the momentum was not maintained. Eventually new jobs stopped arriving and very little in the Five States changed. THE BHTNC became a frequent target for protests and angry letter writing campaigns. This week, the group made official what many already suspected, they were pulling their investments in the Five States.
A spokesman for the group said the investors found more promising opportunities elsewhere and opted to split up to pursue individual investment efficiency. Residents are likely contemplating what this means for the Five States. In truth, it does not mean a lot. The authorities of the Five States have reserves to continue paying bounty hunters. Despite the lack of new investments, the trade economy has remained stable and as a result, traders should not expect a decline in earnings. Likewise, collectors and naturalists are funded from the wealth of other individuals who remain committed to the Five States. While this likely means new investments in the Five States are a long way out, this was true before the BHTNC announced their end.
While this does mark an end of an era, it will not result in a change to the day to day lives of Five States residents.
Nathaniel Cross, moonshiner?
By Wylie Frey
The Nathaniel Cross saga has played out over this paper for years now. The once reputable bounty hunter had his reputation slightly tarnished when he was accused of being the Grey Cowboy. When Cross did not refute the claims, it became an accepted truth. The federal government issued a warrant for Cross’ arrest, which slowed down his bounty hunting activities. Eventually, Cross found support from the New Austin state legislature and the local sheriff of Tumbleweed. When Lemoyne joined New Austin if offering Cross clemency, it seemed like his days of being on the run were coming to an end. However, federal pressure to arrest Cross has been renewed after Cross was caught bootlegging untaxed alcohol.
Revenue agents caught Cross traveling from West Elizabeth into New Austin. The agents opened fire on Cross, resulting in the death of all but one revenue agent. Complicating matters for the revenue bureau is a witness who said the agents fired without ever announcing an attempt to arrest Cross. The judge in a preliminary hearing admonished the council for the Revenuers for not following due process. Cross has not commented and would not confirm or deny that he was traveling with a wagon full of untaxed alcohol.
Treasure hunter found floating in Calumet Ravine
By Jane Duran
Jettie Digby, a renowned treasure hunter, died while searching for treasure at the Calumet Ravine. Miss Digby had acquired a map pointing to treasure in the region. Travelers saw her earlier in the day searching the area with binoculars. When she did not arrive at her Strawberry hotel room that night, her friends became concerned. “I travel with Jettie, but do not accompany her on her hunts,” said Hank Glover, one of her friends. “Jettie prefers to treasure hunt alone,” Mr. Glover added. When she did not return Mr. Glover rounded up a posse and traveled to Calumet Ravine the next morning. The search did not take long.
“We found Jettie floating on the water,” said Mr. Glover, “and I knew she was dead.” Judging by bruises and scrapes on her face, it appears Miss Digby fell and hit her head. She was likely knocked unconscious and then drowned in the water. “I’ll mist her,” said Mr. Glover, “but at least she went out doing what she loved.”
Russian man demonstrates Toy, Results Questionable!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Igor Osipov is an aspiring toymaker based in Blackwater. He specializes in toy boats and submarines, inspired by historic vessels like the HL Hunley and the USS Monitor. On a trip to Saint-Denis, he witnessed a demonstration done by an aggressive Serbian inventor showing off a remote-control toy submarine.
Osipov was floored by this notion, a toy that could move on its on? It was he had to try and copy the moment he got home. After several long months of failed attempts, Osipov duplicated the results in a toy submarine. He invited various citizens from Blackwater to see the launch of his new toy on Flat Iron Lake.
The demonstration was not quite a success. At first, the toy moved and floated in remarkable ways; it even fired little torpedoes. Then suddenly, it flew out of control, ran towards the dock, and violently exploded somehow. Nobody was hurt, but the little vessel was absolutely obliterated. Osipov was devastated, not least of which because he needed money to pay off a bank loan. Much like the Russian navy, this Russian-made toy boat was an embarrassing disaster.
New arrival has a short stay in the Five States
By Donna Deshner
A cowpoke new to the Five States arrived in Valentine this week and in keeping up with tradition, immediately attempted to prove their gunslinging skills. “This fella just walked onto the main road and fired on an innocent person,” said a witness, “though they missed every shot!” The bravado and poor shooting skills would prove to be fatal. The would be victim was quick to pull out their pistol and put their attacker down in short order. Valentine deputies quickly responded to the gunshots, but after confirming with witnesses that the victor of the battle was defending themselves, they took no action aside from removing the body. The attacker was not identified and nobody in the local area reported having seen them before.
Telegrams were sent out across the Five States with their description, but no responses were returned from anyone that knew them. It appears when they arrived in the Five States they arrived alone. They will be taken to a potter’s field to be buried. May their short time in the Five States be a warning to other new arrivals planning to shoot strangers instead of just tipping their hat.
WANTED!
Investigators: Travel the Five States and report on what is going on.
Writers: Write the stories investigators find!
Photographers:
To take photographs to be used in the Herald.
Can also do all three!
Supposed Irish Revolutionary Docks in Saint-Denis!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
A passenger line briefly docked this morning; it’s just stopping to resupply coal and other essential material. One of the crew members is a lonely steward, basically a maid. Her name is Honora O’Shea, but everyone calls her Bloody Nora. She’s mostly known for her constant swearing; she’s pretty well known around these parts. There are also rumors she’s a violent revolutionary who wants to destroy the entire British Empire!
Of course, such rumors are absolutely unconfirmed, she has been searched on multiple occasions, and there is no physical proof that she’s associated with any extremists or is carrying contraband. Yet the rumors continue.
The rumors are always the same, that she’s using her job as a cover to smuggle firearms into Ireland, and that she’s really close with the socialist leader James Connolly. She has made a few comments about not being a fan of the British Empire, but really who hasn’t said that at some point in their lives?
Upon being asked for comment, Miss O’Shea politely told us to shove it plus some words we cannot print here. She also politely pointed out that a criminal with a similar surname is not related to her. Whether she is a revolutionary or just an Irish lass with a fiery temper, she certainly is memorable.
Authorities investigating the use of illegal currency in the Five States
By Lucien Privitt
An unofficial currency has began to reach high levels of circulation in the Five States. The currency, called capitale, was known of before but it had not been a cause for concern. As capitale circulation becomes widespread, its potential disruption of the economy becomes more real. As a result, the legilsatures of the Five States have started a cooperating investigation into the illegal currency. So far, they are not terribly concerned. “Capitale is, in effect, a measure of loyalty between villains,” said an investigator who asked to remain anonymous given the ongoing investigation, “the more capitale you have, the more you can be trusted with bigger jobs.” What it is not, according to early investigations is a legitimate currency used for purchasing goods. “There is no record of capitale being used to purchased items of value,” said another investigator, “it is instead used to purchase information for jobs, which are then rewarded with more capitale.” The early conclusions about capitale are that it is a completely useless currency. The investigation is expected to wrap within the week.
A somber anniversary passes
By Frederick Vannesse
On Monday, April 11th, the anniversary of President MacAlister asking Congress to declare war on Spain passed. While not the type of day that would be celebrating, it is a day of remembrance nonetheless. Prior to the war with Spain, the United States was viewed as an isolationist nation. The entire ordeal started when the USS Lewiston exploded in a Cuban port. The U.S. quickly blamed Spanish forces for sabotaging the ship, though Spain maintained their innocence even during and after the war. It would take Congress 14 days to deliberate before issuing its declaration of war. Now that the war is over, hopefully remembering such dates will remind us of the losses we all suffered as a result of war.
First Fleet Act passed in Germany
By Ivy Seager
The German Reichstag has passed its first Naval law. The law gives the government permission to build and maintain an active navy at all times. The legislation paves the way for the building of 9 large and 26 small cruisers, to be ready by 1904. The new ships will join the current fleet of 1 flagship, 16 battleships and 9 armored coastal ships. It is believed that ramping up their navy will give Germany a stronger position internationally. Some have suggested it is a means of deterrence, citing the Spanish-American War, a war that saw the naval supremacy of the United States lead to complete dominance of Spanish forces. We may be entering into an era of naval build up as a peacekeeping measure.
The Five States Herald 