Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Bounty hunter strike coming?
By Adam Parvey
When the Bureau for Harmonious and Tenacious Negotiations and Capitalization, better known as the BHTNC, announced that it would reward bounty hunters for each capture as if it were three, they likely did not expect to earn the ire of bounty hunters across the Five States. Bounty hunters work within a system where each bounty they turn in earns them credit toward improving their bounty hunter rank. The most lucrative of bounties are reserved for the higher ranking bounty hunters, those who have proven their skill over a long period of time. With the influx of new bounty hunters, the BHTNC announced that any bounty hunter turning in a bounty would receive the amount of credit they would get for turning in three bounties. The backlash was immediate.
“I’ve been a licensed bounty hunter for years,” said a cowpoke who wished to remain anonymous, “I’ve earned as a rank as one can earn, so this kind of bonus don’t help me a bit.” Other bounty hunters I spoke to agreed. “It sounds all nice until you realize that most of us won’t benefit from it at all,” another bounty hunter said, “I mean, what are they even thinking?” Others shared an entirely different concern. “These new bounty hunters are being coddled,” said Sheriff Sam Freeman, “how are we supposed to trust a bounty hunter’s rank if we don’t know if they earned it proper or taking such BHTNC sanctioned shortcuts?” It is presently unknown if such ‘shortcuts’ produce less capable high ranking bounty hunters, but the concern seems to be based on logic. If new bounty hunters are ranking up with less bounties captured, they may prove to be less capable.
“Hogwash, I say,” said a veteran bounty hunter, “maybe they get a little less hands on but if they are moving up the ranks that means they have the skill to handle increasingly tougher bounties, that’s good enough for me.” The BHNTC declined to comment.
Bounty hunter involved in shootout with lawmen
By Jose Chavez
A massive shoot out occurred in Tumbleweed after a bounty hunter was harassed for wearing a mask in town. Tumbleweed is a town of few restrictions, but wearing a mask is one of them. The bounty hunter in question had been warned by Sheriff Freeman. They claimed to have been antagonized multiple times by the sheriff. After taking his mask off and confronting the sheriff a shootout commenced. The shootout ended with around 20 lawmen dead and the bounty hunter escaping as an outlaw, with the outlaw claiming that the sheriff shot first, but that is questionable. A witness who had been doing business in the general store reported that Tumbleweed looked like a battleground, with multiple lawmen dead.
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Mt Hagen claims another life
By Jane Duran
A man showed up in Strawberry as drunk as a man could be. While the town mayor was upset about the man’s drunken antics, local lawmen seemed to not care. However, the man’s outlandish story soon earned their attention. Being drunk and bored, the man went on and on about how he was celebrating a second chance at life. He explained that he had holed up at the top of the world, which turned out to be Mt Hagen, due to ‘complicated circumstances.’ It soon became obvious this man was in fact, a wanted man.
He explained that a bounty hunter came up the mountain for him, saying that such bounty hunters traveling up Mt. Hagen are the tenacious type. The outlaw hid in a cabin while his body guards fought the bounty hunter. “My men were losing and then that feller tackled one of my men and flew clean off the mountain and died,” the man said, explaining that his stroke of luck was a sign to start living again. He explained that he was starting anew and all of the, “thieving, and murdering, and beating, and murdering,” was in the past. A Strawberry deputy, however, disagreed and promptly arrested the man once he was able to identify the man. “He’ll stay in there long after he’s sober,” said the deputy, “likely get shipped to Sisika for all the bad he’s done.” The identity of the fallen bounty hunter remains unknown.
Blackwater residents take refuge in their homes following bizarre streak of aggression from travelers
By Nick McCrary
The Blackwater Police Department announced that its residents came under attack by random travelers this week. Blackwaterans were busy minding their own business when travelers would show up and start provoking them. “This woman just started walking in a circle around me, bumping into me a bit,” said one resident, “when I finally returned her aggression, she tackled me to the ground, then got off me and ran off!” Blackwater police chased the woman, but she escaped on horseback. Other residents report similar incidents. Travelers provoked residents by bumping into them, smoking in the face, flipping them off, and in some cases punching them directly in the face.
“In each case, as soon as the resident returned hostilities, they were tackled and released,” said the Blackwater Chief of Police Oswald Dunbar. A few of the ‘tackling cowpokes’ were arrested, but they offered no response when asked about their motive. Eventually, however, it was discovered that a rogue member of the BHTNC offered gold nuggets for such behavior. The private organization of businessman apologized for the actions of their rogue member. However, I have it on good authority that the entire “rogue m ember” story was merely to save face and the entire group supported the bonus for tackling Blackwater residents.
Valentine residents petition local government for a wagon licensure scheme
By Donna Deshner
Several upset residents found their way in front of the Sheriff’s office this week complaining about travelers unable to control their wagons. “Everyday some overconfident traveler speeds through Valentine on a wagon, barely keeping it under control,” one of the protesters said. Indeed, records indicate that death by wagon is quite common in the town. A few weeks ago, a resident on their way to the town church was ran over by a bounty hunter. At the time of the incident, the bounty hunter was pushing the horse to run faster as they fired wildly behind them. “I was being chased by some outlaws that didn’t want their associates arrested,” the bounty hunter said, “wasn’t no time to stop the wagon even if I saw the poor woman.” The bounty hunter, acting in official capacity as an auxiliary law enforcement official was exempted from punishment. The bounty hunter did pay for the deceased’s funeral expenses. Prior to that, the town butcher recalls a hunter who showed no remorse when they ran a man over. “This fella was just doing business with me when out of nowhere, a speed wagon hits him,” the butcher said. The hunter got off the wagon and started doing business with the trader, not even paying attention to the man he just ran over.
Most recently, a new arrival to Valentine managed to get stuck on a fence. Pushing the horse pulling the wagon harder and harder caused the beast to jump over a fence. However, this brought the horse’s momentum to a halt, as the wagon did not clear the fence and got stuck. Residents had a good laugh at the wagon driver’s expense, however many residents were compelled to resume protests in favor of wagon licensing. “This may have been a funny incident this time, but it could have ended in an innocent Valentineans death,” a witness said. After unhooking the horse, the wagon driver managed to free their wagon. The horse, however, fled, refusing to be reattached to the wagon.
Italian Food Becoming Popular in Lemoyne
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
To put it bluntly, Italians aren’t the most welcomed in Lemoyne, primarily because of association with gangs and criminals, plus some rather loathsome racial bigotry. But that proud community isn’t going anywhere; they are instead digging in their heels and slowly winning over people via culinary cuisine.
Italian grocers have been selling a lot of pasta lately, and that food is becoming quite popular in places like Saint-Denis. It’s not much at first, looking like uncut wheat and sometimes dipped into meat sauce, but those who try it swear by it.
Other imports like more bread-based food and of course wine are slowly coming in through the docks, often fetching a high price. These foods keep the grocers in business, sometimes even letting them thrive.
Of course, there are rumors that such food is being promoted by the same criminal organizations associated with Italians. Perhaps as a way to make themselves more accepted in society or as a new business racket. We don’t know how accurate these rumors are, but they aren’t impacting sales regardless. If an orphan child who hasn’t eaten in weeks says pasta is the best food there ever was, can you argue with that?
Conflict of interest exposed within the BHTNC
By Adamy Parvey
Details are still being worked out, but it has been discovered that several members of the BHNTC have shifted their investments to another project. The west coast city, Los Santos, has become the new focus of most of the private investing group. While it is no secret that the BHNTC had invested in Los Santos, the group has tried to distance itself from claims that it has forsaken the Five States region. Now, however, an anonymous source in the group has said investments in Los Santos has come at the expense of the Five States. “The truth is, Los Santos is a more profitable opportunity, offering multiple avenues to exploit in order to enhance profits,” the anonymous source said, “such opportunities are seen as fewer in the Five States.” Further, the profit earning opportunities that do exist in the Five States are said to be less profitable. The BHTNC did not comment specifically on the claims, but did generally dismiss, “any information without a named source.” We will continue to follow this developing story.
Convicted murderer commits suicide in cell
By Frederick Vannesse
Dr. Sidney J. Bivings was recently convicted of killing Mr. T.J. Trimmier. The trial was full of spectacle, with Dr. Bivings making a vocal outburst and accusing a witness against him of lying. Multiple times the presiding judge had to bring order to the court. After a dramatic trial, the jury found Dr. Bivings, “guilty, with a recommendation of mercy.” Dr. Bivings appeared a bit nervous as the verdict was read. As he was escorted out and the court was being cleared, Dr. Bivings said, “the damn rascals have convicted me now and I reckon they are satisfied.”
The next day Dr. Bivings was found dead in his jail cell in a pool of his own blood. A plastic knife was found nearby, believed to have been sharpened on the concrete floor. A prisoner in the cell next to Dr. Bivings said he heard moans late at night, but assumed they came from the street. While his suicide is seen as a tragedy by offering him an escape from justice, many say it is further evidence that the correct verdict was reached.
Russian Army Training a Complete Disaster!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Gunboat diplomacy is meant to make you look tough; it’s meant to make people think twice about fighting with you. The United States has done military maneuvers like this in the past with great success. Success is not a word you will associate with Russia for a while now.
Those training maneuvers, meant to intimidate Japan and express nationalistic expansion, failed spectacularly. A naval exercise ended this week with two ships sunk, one lost due to a fire in the magazine caused by someone throwing a cigarette haphazardly, the other by a cruiser going off course and crashing into a battle cruiser. Potentially hundreds of Russian sailors were lost, all while Japan looked on in amusement.
Army maneuvers weren’t much better. An officer was attacked by a snake and later died, several group officers were high on opium, and a small platoon managed to tumble down a cliff. Japan and the world laughed pretty hard at this form of intimidation.
The Tsar is undeniably not happy about how his military looks in the eyes of the world. Will they still go to war with Japan? Probably, the territorial disputes haven’t changed. The only change will be the amount of respect the military gets when they do fight, from good luck to good luck.
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