Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Alarming new trend among long time residents, but common practice among the Respawners
By Lucien Privitt
For those familiar with the Five States, and with this paper specifically, will know who the Respawners are. They are the “enlightened” few who claim to be aware of the truth: that the world we live in is false. This world is but a creation of others, say the Respawners. While some reach for explanations beyond this world, such as the parallel worlds theory advocated by Dr. W. Bishop, the Respawners say every odd occurrence observed in the Five States can be explained by the false world theory. “Well there is another world, and I suppose they are causing the strange disturbances,” admits Harry Spaid, a Respawner leader, “but it’s not in the manner you may think, the other world created this false one and can still create things within it.” Respawners point to various shared experiences as evidence of the false world. For instance, they claim that all cowpokes have visions of their own death. “It’s not a reoccurring dream, you see,” says Mr. Spaid, “but memories of dying in different places, to different causes, but they’re memories and not dreams.” When I appeared skepitcal, Mr. Spaid laughed softly and asked, “how else can you explain every gunslinger in the Five States thinking they were the one to help that Mrs. LeClerk?”
Another common practice by the Respawners has recently become very popular among long time residents of the Five States. “These folks aren’t respawners, you see,” said Mr. Spaid, “but they’ve been here so long and grown bored, they can see through the seams of the world and are becoming aware of its limits.” Their response is what Mr. Spaid described as transcendent. Reaching a state of transcendence, a cowpoke can transfer their consciousness into a new body, one yet to experience the Five States. Mr. Spaid said that reaching this state one can bring their memories of the world, but must forgo most of their worldly possessions. “Some financial accounts can be accessed,” Mr. Spaid said, “so long as they remember the information necessary to access it at the bank.” Not all memories are obtained, however. “For some reason, folks find that they can’t remember most recipes they once knew,” said Mr. Spaid. Along with memories recipes, weapons, clothing, and licenses are lost.
While these seems to be quite the sacrifice, Mr. Spaid explained that the new body is able to get new experiences. “Though the Transcendent will have memories of their deeds in their previous life, the body is responding to it all for the first time,” Mr. Spaid explained, “the fear of a gunfight, the risk of death, and the danger of inexperience, can all be felt anew again.” That inexperience comes in the form of a lack of instinct. Though the “Transcendent” remembers how to shoot a gun, the new body takes time to develop and act with a shooter’s instinct. “It’s like training the body to know what the mind has mastered,” Mr. Spaid explained. Respawners are able to get guidance through this process, but those who achieve this state unaided may find it all to be very disorientating. “But in a way, that is why they are doing, they want the disorientation,” said Mr. Spaid, “they want it all to feel new again.”
Mechanical men attack Thieves Landing
By Jose Chavez
A wild and nearly unbelievable story came out of Thieves’ Landing this week. A couple of cowpokes just arrived in the settlement when three mechanical men appeared and attacked the surprised residents. “We didn’t know it at the time, but their skin was metal and deflected most of our shots,” said one cowpoke. The metal men walked in a way that was described as awkward, “it was as if they would tip over at any moment, but they didn’t.” a witness stated. The attackers were said to pack a powerful melee strike, knocking out their targets in a single strike. One cowpoke decided to take the attack to them, but before they could fire off an explosive shotgun shell, they were hit by one of the mechanical men and were rendered unconcious. “When I woke up I saw others waking too, though some didn’t wake up,” the cowpoke said, “but the metal men were on the ground and not moving, so guess someone beat them.”
Other witnesses say that after some time, the mechanical men just stopped attacking. “They just stood their, like they just lost the will to continue the attack,” the witness said. Eventually the mechanical men were knocked over and taken to Dr. W. Bishop for examination. “It is far too early to tell, but it is likely they were created in another reality, or maybe even from the future,” Dr. Bishop said, “can you imagine that?” While some fear this is a sign that one of the “parallel worlds” is preparing to attack, Dr. Bishop says we should not panic just yet. “Yes, it is possible they are a scouting party,” Dr. Bishop acknowledged, “but, maybe they will have improved upon malted milk in the future and bring one for us to sample, who’s to say?”
Men Fight Bear!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Bears, the largest and scariest of animals one can run into in North America. Fighting one is often suicidal at best; many a good man has been torn apart trying to fight off a Grizzly. It’s this distinction that made what happened up near Colter this week so impressive.
Two hunters from Eastern Europe, names unknown at this time, were looking for a passage through the mountains to get further north. What they are looking for, nobody knows. There is a passage through the mountains, but it’s not safe at this time of year.
While looking for this passage, the two men ran into a Grizzly, and instead of running, they stood their ground. The bear paused and roared at them, confused as to why they weren’t moving. The two hunters then began unloading what they had, large caliber hunting rifles not usually seen in the Five States.
One of the hunters was grabbed by the bear and badly mauled, although the bear was bleeding out by that point in the fight. By sheer luck, both hunters still draw breath while the bear doesn’t. They skinned it before running to find help. When faced with impossible odds, sometimes the impossible is possible.
Blackwater defender killed after successfully defending the town
By Odell Clifton
The town of Blackwater came under another assault this week. The attackers were well armed and well organized, quickly overwhelming the local policemen. Four gunslingers nearby, however, pitched in to assist in efforts to defend the town. “Those folks were good shots, but also very good strategists,” said one policeman. The four cowpokes quickly organized the town’s defense, putting townsfolk in the best places to defend the town. The defenders turned the tide of the battler, fighting back waves of outlaws looking to cause death and destruction. Just as the town began to chair what looked like a final repulsion of the enemies, tragedy struck.
“One of them shooters, they were quite good,” said a witness, “killed one of them gunners in an armored wagon, shot right through the damn hole!” It was that shot that sent the rest of the attackers fleeing. Just as townsfolk started celebrating, however, tragedy struck. The horses pulling the armored wagon were spooked. Just as the sharpshooting cowpoke put down their guard, the horses ran them over. “It was awful, the damn horses knocked them over and the heavy wagon just smashed them,” a witness said. It was a tragic ending to a hard fought victory.
WANTED!
Investigators: Travel the Five States and report on what is going on.
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Can also do all three!
Interview with Anthony Wheeler, author of Love And Death in the Frontier
By Adam Parvey
What drove you to choose this particular story and theme for your next book?
I was tired of writing about gunfighters and duels, cowboys and Indians. After 17 books tackling those subjects and feeling I was stuck, I sought after new sources of inspiration. I wanted to write a violent, but sincere, love story; and there were not many other examples as moving and enthralling as Lincoln and Maeve’s.
I was fascinated with the news stories that came out two years ago about a mysterious group robbing their way through places that society already deems tamed and civilized. These characters suddenly appear like relics of an older and wilder frontier era. Then I learned about the exploits of this particular couple and their connection to this group of misfits, that resulted in some of the most grandiose achievements in outlawry in our modern times, so I couldn’t resist writing about it.
Tell us about the titular characters of your book
In broad strokes, like many other couples before them, young and in love but down on their luck, Lincoln and Maeve took to the west to seek out their fortune, but met misfortune and violence instead. Lincoln found himself in a real pickle very quickly, having turned to robbery to survive, after robbing the wrong people he was sentenced to hard labor in Sisika Penitentiary.
Maeve, who was not caught, was left alone and destitute. With an old, worn revolver on her holster, she had to fend for herself, that is, until she joined the legendary gang the Misfit Bunch.
Some people argue that the Misfit Bunch is a fictional gang, created by the press to account for unsolved robberies and other mysteries, what would you say to those people?
That’s nonsense, I myself have interviewed a former member of that bunch, a former priest who was pardoned for his crimes months ago. He has since gone lawful and even works for the court as a bounty hunter and is part of a hunter’s guild. He was a most reliable source of research, although he was deliberately obscure so as to not implicate anyone or even identify the people involved.
How did Maeve get to join forces with these ruffians?
I guess you will have to read my book. It suffices to say that she proved herself with a gun and convinced them of her worth. She was a much needed addition to the Misfit Bunch’s numbers for what became the most famous robbery in New Hannover that year, the Raid on Cornwall Kerosene and Tar, where it is said that she negotiated a substantial portion of her take away for the Bunch to organize the daring Lincoln Jailbreak.
We all know the famous Raid on Cornwall Kerosene and Tar, of course, what can you tell us of Maeve’s role in it?
In reality, as I heard the story, she held one of the outlook positions, she defended her comrades from that vantage point and had the difficult task to shoot her way to them on foot after the loot was packed, and of course, handled herself well during the get away shootout.
In my book, our heroine gets a more noteworthy role, that’s one of the liberties I take in writing this story.
You mentioned Lincoln’s Jailbreak, you’re the first person to ever make the connection between these seemingly disjointed events. What other details have you uncovered about what happened in these events?
With the money obtained from the raid, Maeve was able to bribe some court official, who ordered Lincoln’s transfer from Sisika to Yuma, that transfer involved an overnight stay in the Saint Denis Jail to await transport by train. That was the opportunity The Misfit Bunch needed.
The Jailbreak could be almost described as professionally done, if that was a term one could use for criminals. The Lemoyne Supreme Court was dynamite with enough charges to destroy one of its outer walls. The explosion, shootout and pursuit on the roofs of the Saint Denis drove most of the city’s police force outside the police station. Maeve and one of the best guns in the Bunch sneaked into the police station to free Lincoln and then proceeded to take a boat out of town. This emotional reunion is one of the highest points of my novel if I may say so myself.
What else can you tell us about the exciting lives of these outlaws?
The events that I mentioned were the main drive for me to write this book, but that’s of course only the beginning of the exploits of this fierce couple. The adventures and woes of Lincoln and Maeve as they try to flee the country after parting ways with the Misfit Bunch and the soul crushing reality they faced as they reached their promise land makes for some of my best narrative arcs. I would encourage all grim wild west aficionados and even soft hearted housewives and romance fans of the weaker sex to buy this book for yourselves and your friends.
Mysterious “Ghost” Fights Off Outlaws?
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
People like fairytales, I did as a little girl. Sure it’s cliché now to imagine the dashing hero fighting off evildoers and then vanishing into the sun. We don’t know if that’s exactly what happened, but something occurred late in Valentine last night.
A roaming gang of would-be outlaws was harassing the town, demanding free beer and threatening to torch entire buildings. With all the protests against lack of payment, nobody had time to bother with these ruffians.
They kept riding through town all night, occasionally firing guns into the air. Until some unknown cowpoke stepped out. Nobody got a good look at him or maybe even her; this individual was clad all in white. With a quick draw, the cowpoke gunned down all six outlaws and quickly ran out of town; this individual hasn’t been seen since.
Of course, that’s the fun version of events; the alternative is that a group of store owners merely shot the criminals from windows and then returned to work. Perhaps what people saw in the streets was simply an optical illusion brought on by sleep deprivation.
But that’s not what people choose to believe, they like the idea of a lone hero fighting against overwhelming odds, and I won’t take that away from them. Life is a never-ending story in a sense; who am I to say what’s a fairytale and what’s reality if it brings hope?
Collector killed while collecting
By Mathilde Orry
Two men fishing nearby claimed to have witnesses the moment of the attack. “The fella had one of those metal detector things,” the witness said, “now I don’t know much about those detector things, but I know that fella wasn’t paying much attention to anything but the beeps of that machine.” The pair then explained that the collector arrived about five minutes prior to the attack. “It was the damn beeping that got my attention,” said the other witness, “of course, it wasn’t just my attention it got.” The collector was said to be completely focused on their task. When the beeping became more frequent the collector became even more focused.
“They weren’t paying much attention, ‘cuz we say it coming and they didn’t,” the witness said. An alligator rushed out of the shallow water and grabbed the collector by the legs. The witnesses said the alligator let go briefly before biting back down at the collector’s mid section. The alligator began rolling as the collector flailed. “His damn machine just kept beeping, think it riled up the damn creature,” one of the witness remarked, “it was unfortunate we didn’t have a rifle between us, or we could have saved the poor fella.” Eventually the gator stopped rolling and started eating its prey. The metal detector continued beeping, drawing the now full alligator to it. “WOuld you believe he snatched that damn machine into its mouth and swallowed it whole!” one of the witnesses exclaimed, “and then it swam away.” As it swam away, the witnesses say, the metal detector continued to beep.
Reports of hostile cowpokes continue to rise
By Adam Parvey
Unfortunately for residents of the Five States, the trend of hostile travelers has shown no sign of slowing down. Law enforcement officials in every state have reported an increase in random attacks. “The increase in crimes is almost entirely physical attacks,” said a lawman from Annesburg, “even traders report having their goods destroyed and never stolen by these attackers.” The hostile cowpokes seem intent only on causing destruction and inflicting pain upon others. “On occasion, folks rally together and drive them back,” said one lawman. He then described a posse of better armed cowpokes driving back the hostile ones. “They seemed to never end, which was strange, considering how badly they were being beaten back,” said the lawman.
While the attacks often come from those newer to the Five States, several report of long time residents going “rogue.” “I knew a fella, nice as can be, always helping others,” said a Valentine man, “then one day something changed, starting shooting strangers and blowing up trader’s wagons, they just stopped caring.” The rise in such attacks as many worried. Long time residents now are finding themselves in a much riskier position than a year ago. “The risk of most jobs is higher, but the rewards have stayed the same,” said one cowpoke. The concern is that these cowpokes will either leave the Five States altogether, or join the hostile ones. Either case could spell doom for the Five States.
Analyst who mistook old report for a current event has been fired
By Frederick Vannesse
In a follow up to a previous story, the man who reported a U.S. ship blowing up in Cuba has been fired. It was reported last week that an analyst read a year old report and issued it as something currently happening. The confusion resulted from the fact that the date was on the report, but not the year. The report was nearly acted upon until someone realized the Spanish-American war was already fought and over with. The embarrassment was not meant to become public knowledge. However, following public exposure of the incident, military leadership has taken the action of firing the analyst. An official announcement read, “While the analyst’s identity will remain confidential, to ensure their life can go on, we are removing them from their job as an analyst. They will be transferred to a new department with less critical responsibilities.”
Spain issues official announcement: we did not attack the United States the first time or the second time!
By Ivy Seager
The Spanish government issued a condemnation of reports that the United States nearly restarted the Spanish-American War. The Spanish government has never backed away from their initial claim of having nothing to do with the destruction of the USS Lewiston. “We were alarmed to learn that the U.S. nearly went into attack mode, blaming us for a second time for something we did not do,” the official condemnation read. The international community sided with Spain, as even the U.S. admitted this was a critical mistake. Efforts to prevent another war are underway, as U.S. leaders have met with Spanish leaders to resolve the latest setback in peaceful relations.
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