Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Hardened criminal pardoned after becoming an honorable cowpoke
By Adam Parvey
Audrey McEvoy was recently offered a pardon for her crimes, despite the fact that she recently escaped Sisika penitentiary and killing two guards in the process. McEvoy had been found guilty of theft, destruction of private property, murder, and fraud against the government. In fact, McEvoy admitted to it all. Her trial was conducted so swiftly and without any controversy that it was scarcely covered by any newspaper. Late last week she escaped Sisika penitentiary. McEvoy’s escape was aided by at least one guard, who reportedly unlocked McEvoy’s cell. Guards had McEvoy cornered at one point, however, she brandished a pistol, enabling her to open fire on the guards who were armed only with clubs. One guard killed here.
According to the guards, McEvoy and her guard associate fled toward the train. She then shot her guard associate in the back of the head before boarding the moving train, referred to as the “Midnight Special” by inmates who see the passing light as good luck. The train was stopped soon after, but McEvoy was not found. The pardon comes after a string of reports regarding McEvoy’s honorable behavior. “It has come to the Governor’s attention that Audrey McEvoy has taken good care of her horse, feeding and brushing it daily,” read an official statement, “as a result, she is viewed as an honorable cowpoke and deserving of the pardon.” The pardon only effects New Hanover, where most of her crimes took place. The other four states that make up the Five States have no issued such a pardon and have not commented on the one issued by New Hanover’s governor.
Dispute over bounty leads to shootout between bounty hunters
By Wylie Frey
The state of New Austin authorized a gold nuggets bonus this weekend that resulted in a significant increase in bounty hunters coming to the state. While New Austin has no shortage of outlaws to be captured and brought to justice, several bounty hunters ended up going for the same targets. Bounty hunters are often thought of as “the good guys,” but it is important to remember they are performing a job for the purpose of earning money. For a bounty hunter, losing a bounty to the competition may mean they have to go without dinner. Thus, they are less likely to aid each other when it would reduce their own income and more likely to fight each other. One such conflict arose just outside of Armadillo. A pair of bounty hunters were bringing in a bounty when they were cut off by a squad of four bounty hunters. Witnesses who saw the scuffle say the pair turned off the road and opened fire on the attackers.
“I reckon they would have been quickly overwhelmed in the wide open,” said one of the witnesses, “if it wasn’t for that other fella, the one in grey.” The ‘one in grey’ turned out to be Nathaniel Cross, who fired on the four attacking bounty hunters from behind. Before the larger group of bounty hunters knew what happened, half of their crew was killed by Cross. One of the remaining two was gunned down by the pair, the other rode off and escaped. Witnesses reported that Cross waved at the pair before riding to the local sheriff station to turn in his bounty. The pair then cautiously approached the sheriff station and turned in their own bounty. Sheriff Palmer said such shootouts were happening all day. “This one was rather tame, I suppose,” said Sheriff Palmer, “no innocent folk died that time.”
Double murder in Ambarino
By Delphia Atwood
Two bodies were found dead this week in Ambarino, each with a tomahawk to the chest. The initial report was that the two people were murdered by a third, however, further evidence made that explanation unlikely. “Based on the patterns in the snow, the two were coming at each other,” an investigator, “and so we concluded they both threw a tomahawk at each other and both hit their mark.” Based on the injuries, a medical examiner determined that both individuals likely died slowly. “The injuries were certainly painful, one cutting into the collar both, the other into the sternum,” the examiner said, “combined with the extreme cold of the region they were likely rendered unable to move.” The medical examiner was unable to determined which of the two individuals died first. This was a rare case of both parties winning the fight, but ultimately both losing it.
WANTED!
Investigators: Travel the Five States and report on what is going on.
Writers: Write the stories investigators find!
Photographers:
To take photographs to be used in the Herald.
Can also do all three!
Cougar runs wild in Blackwater
By Odell Clifton
The Blackwater police found themselves in a situation they were not prepared for: a cougar in Blackwater. The first attack happened as a traveler exited the town post office. “They walked out and were immediately mauled!” said a witness, who then closed and locked the post office doors. The Blackwater Police, to their credit, responded quickly. However, they were ill-equipped to handle the beast. Witnesses reported that the policemen were unable to shoot the cougar as he darted between wagons, buildings, and other obstacles. Residents attempted kill the beast only resulted in more confusion. “Bullets were just flying everywhere,” said one witness, “sometimes nowhere near the cougar, they was just shooting anything that moved to quick.” While the chaotic situation lasted only a few minutes, for those who experienced it, it seemed to go on forever. It is reported that residents were so frightened that they often closed their doors and locked them even with friends and family members waiting to get in. “I saw some fella beating on the door, begging to get in,” said a witness, “nobody came, except the cougar.”
The aggressive cougar attack finally ended when it chased a policeman north of the police station into an open area. Half a dozen policemen opened fire on the creature as it roared in defiance before crashing to the ground. Three people were found to be dead, two by cougar mauling and one who had been shot in the chaos. Over a dozen people were injured, five of which were considered serious. Experts are unsure what caused the cougar to react so violently. “It is not uncommon for a cougar to attack people who enter its territory,” said Dillard Suddeth, and animal expert, “it is odd for a cougar to walk into a town and start mauling random people.” One possible explanation is that the cougar was injured and disorientated. Though Mr. Suddeth said future attacks are unlikely, the Blackwater mayor has issued bounties on cougars killed in southern West Elizabeth.
Bootlegger claims to have gotten past a revenuer checkpoint due to a distraction
By Donna Deshner
A drunk woman in Smithfield’s Saloon claimed to be bootlegger and that they were stopped near Emerald Station. While their wagon was being inspected by agents, a cowpoke rode by on their horse. The agents were distracted when they rode into the middle of the checkpoint. “They hardly looked into my wagon at all!” said the man, “just kept watching that other fella and waved me through.” While the supposed bootlegger did say they were worried the stranger would attack them, they were pleasantly surprised by the distraction he provided. “I rode through, delivered the goods and now, enjoying the fruits of my labor,” the bootlegger said. The Bureau of Internal Revenue declined to comment.
Criminal of the Lowest Order Behind Terrible Attacks in Saint-Denis!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Saint-Denis mourns its dead. The number continues to grow; the current number is nearly 500 from the dreadful ship explosion and the subsequent shooting of temperance members. Police have been hard at work trying to find the perpetrator. Unfortunately, she revealed herself with glee.
Police received a letter this morning; the chief didn’t even need to open it, to know who wrote it. It came with a black rose sigil and merely contained newspapers on the disaster. The message was clear, Myra Rose Hart was behind this, and she wanted the world to know it.
Needless to say, nobody is playing around with this woman. The US army has mobilized an entire regiment that is going house to house looking for the Black Rose. They have ordered just to kill her; there will be no arrest or trial, only the cold, cold grave.
Even other low-rent outlaws are deeply unhappy with old Myra; how many innocent children died in the explosion? For what? For the hell of it? Because it’s fun to kill, hurt, and maim? It’s not every day criminals agree to help the law, but this is one situation. One only hopes it’s enough to end her finally.
Boat theft increase has boaters alarmed
By Humphrey Harker
Theft in the Five States is one of the most commonly reported crimes. While most theft reports are in regard to money, small belongings, and horses, on occasion boats are the target. This weekend, based on reports across the Five States, boats seemed to be the primary target. “We aren’t quite sure what is going on,” said Sheriff Jones, who received several reports personally, “just lots of fellas soaked to their small clothes saying some other fellas stole their boat.” Similar reports were made at other sheriff’s offices and police stations. Investigations often found the boats down river, abandoned. In some cases the boats were found with folks using them, in which case the boaters were arrested. However, the majority of those arrested were released when the victims said they were not the boat thieves, which lined up with the claims of just finding the boats with nobody around them. Authorities recommend being careful while boating and shooting anyone swimming up to your boat.
Animal rights proponents swarm controversial horse diving act in Atlantic City
By Lucien Privitt
The Steel Pier in Atlantic City is scheduled to open this week. The location promises to be an “Amusement City at Sea,” offering food, games, and other attractions for the whole family. One controversial act said to be debuting is a diving horse. The show, put on by William Carver and his son Al, is part of a national tour. They are scheduled for the Steel Pier’s opening weekend and return two weeks after for a final weekend run. Several proponents of animal rights, however, are protesting the show. “This is madness, it is bad enough that horses are enslaved to serve as mounts and workers,” said one protester, “but now to have them jump into water for our entertainment? The barbarity of it all!” The set constructed for the show features a 60 foot drop. The horse and rider walk up a large ramp before taking the dive, the horse going head first. While the horse typically survives unscathed, injuries have been known to happen. Other versions of diving horses do not include the rider making the dive as well, believing it to be more dangerous. Protesters say that this action is not natural for horses and likely is a frightening experience. A spokesman for the Steel Pier Company said they plan to continue with the show. “We built the set, we will get our money’s worth,” they said.
Feared Indian Leopard Killed!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
In America, we have our feared animals, panthers, bears, alligators, and wolves. These creatures are a constant threat to anyone in the Five States. But of course, hostile wildlife is hardly just a problem for the citizens of the Five States.
In faraway India, stalked a leopard that had a taste for human flesh. It was known as the Leopard of Panar, and why it feasted on human carrion is unknown. Perhaps it fed on bodies thrown down rivers after a funeral; it does not matter.
What matters is what it did the living. Over the last couple of years, it attacked entire villages in the middle of the night, dragging away anyone it deemed too weak to fight back. All in all, dozens if not hundreds of people were eaten by this foul creature.
But with every great villain comes a hero. A local hunter was hired by the villagers to kill the monster. The hunter, who went only by “Bill,” was born in England but has lived in India for decades. After a long hunt, the Leopard was laid at the feet of some villagers, dead. Much celebration is expected in the coming days.
The Five States Herald 