Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Massive Explosion Rocks Saint-Denis!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
An absolutely massive explosion has occurred in the harbor area of Saint-Denis this afternoon! Information is coming in by the hour, but this is what we currently know. At around 1 PM, an industrial ore carrier was departing the dock and passing by an ammunition ship bound for Britain. Suddenly without warning, a fire broke out on the munition’s vessel. Gunshots were reported right before the boat changed course and crashed headlong into the ore carrier.
Moments after impact, the munition ship violently exploded. Nearby cargo in the harbor also began to cook off and explode, including fertilizer and other hazardous material. Entire sections of the dock ceased to exist; windows were shattered all throughout the city, people all the way in Tumbleweed claimed to hear a loud boom.
The death count is currently unknown, but it could be in the high hundreds or even worse; countless dock workers and onlookers were in the general area of the blast. Police at the moment are safely assuming foul play was involved and are looking into a variety of suspects. At the top of the list is the old standby, Myra Rose Hart, who hasn’t been seen in months despite promising something big. We will have more news available when we ourselves better understand the situation.
25 cowpokes take to the trails together
By Jose Chavez
While folks frequently complain about the lack of development in the Five States, one cannot deny the splendor of the natural world. Of course, that natural world is often quite dangerous. The Five States if full of outlaws and villains looking to take advantage of well meaning folks simply enjoying life. The solution: group trail rides. 25 people gathered in Tumbleweed this week and embarked on a long ride through New Austin. Though the dangers of New Austin persisted, they became little more than inconveniences the group of 25 skilled gunslingers. “Most outlaws stayed away, they knew they had no chance,” said one of the riders, “but a few were too dumb to know any better and paid the price for this foolishness.” When word about the trail ride spread, many found themselves in a place of envy. “Where can I find such a trail ride?” “Wish I was there!” “That looks like fun,” were all common responses by those who missed out. If you cannot find a trail ride of your own, I recommend starting one yourself. There certainly seems to be no shortage of folks looking to ride together.
Ambarino state government swarmed with applications for the Ambarino Rangers
By Jane Duran
Following the announcement that the Ambarino Rangers would be forming to patrol the largely empty state, the governor’s office received a, “mountain of applications.” “This may seem like a good thing,” said an office clerk, “however, this requires even more sorting and investigation to find the worthy candidates.” One candidate who was dismissed quickly not only had a criminal past, but was an actively wanted woman. It is not known at this time how long the sorting will take place. I saw three piles of applications while interviewing the clerks. I was told the applications were being divided among the “obviously nots,” the “ideal candidates,” and the “maybes.” The ideal candidates will be vetted first to ensure they cannot be compromised by past affiliations. “Skill is not the primary factor, believe it or not,” said one of the recruiters, “lots of folks have skill, what we need are the truly good and they are rare.” The governor’s office is determined to get through the applications quickly and get the Ambarino Rangers up and running.
Woman fights off wolf attack powered by moonshine
By Odell Clifton
Straight from the “unbelievable but true” files, I have a story about a woman attacked by a pack of wolves! Wolves can be frightening attackers in packs, especially for a person on their feet, as was the case for this story. The woman had been picking herbs when the wolves attacked. Unable to get to her horse to flee she was forced to fight. Every time she reached for a weapon the wolves attacked, grabbing her arm until she fought them off. “Soon I realized I wasn’t gonna be able to grab a gun,” she said, “so I chugged a bit of moonshine and fought those assholes with my hands and feet.” She then claims to have punched and kicked her way out of the wolves attack. As unbeleviable as the story is, a hunter nearby saw the attack. “I saw the attack in my scope, couldn’t get a clean shot to help out though,” the man said, “not that she needed it and let me tell you, I wouldn’t wanna be on the receiving end of one of those kicks!” The woman tended to her wounds before selling meat and pelts to the Blackwater butcher.
Woman kills three men, no charges filed
By Donna Deshner
Three men were killed by stabbing said a family traveling across the Heartlands. “It wasn’t terribly close, thank God,” said the family patriarch, “we just wanted to get to Valentine while minding our own business.” Though they minded their own business, they still took interest in the fight. They said that the woman first engaged with one of the men. They were close enough to see the man and woman attempting to slash each other with knives. “Eventually that woman killed the man, knife in the chest,” the witness said. A second man then joined the fray and attempted to fight the woman. This fight took longer, but ended the same way: the woman was victorious and killed the man. The witness said the third man was odd. “I didn’t see a third man at first, just saw the one fighting the woman and a second waiting his turn,” the witness said, “but then a third man who looked an awful lot like the first man showed up and tackled the woman.” Though still focused on getting to Valentine, the man slowed down the wagon to watch the fight he was not fully invested in. The third man tackle the woman to the ground but she managed to fight him off. “I was quite surprised, she took a few hits and yet still had something left to give!” The witness exclaimed. Upon fighting the man off, he swung his blade at her. The woman then sidestepped and got behind the man and promptly slit his throat. “I don’t know if she saw me watching, but she was damn impressive,” the witness said. No charges were filed as the identity of the woman is unknown.
Murderer cries when thrown in jail with hardened criminals
By Emery Cosberry
An outlawed turned a moving train into a weapon when he threw a man into it. The conductor saw the fight taking place in the distance but did not think anything of it as it was off of the tracks. The fight, however, got closer to the tracks as the train got closer to the fight. The victim’s horse fled and was struck by the train first. The attacker then threw the man at the moving train, killing him instantly. Much to the outlaw’s surprise, lawmen were on the train and quickly responded. The man was arrested and transferred to Sisika within days. Reports from the jail indicate that the outlaw was not quite ready to live with hardened criminals. “This fella is just a pretenda, a fancy folk who thinks they are tough,” a guard said, “but most nights he just sits in a corner, responding to other prisoners with ‘no, sir’ and ‘yes sir.'”
Alligator found in bed of saloon rental
By Emeline Vickroy
A nearly drunk woman managed to make it up the stairs to her room before screaming and running back down as if she had been sober for a week. One witness described her as, “wobbly and all slurred with her words as she went up, but sober as a judge as she ran down screaming, ‘alligator! alligator!'” At first the rest of the saloon patrons paid little attention to the frantic woman. However, one curious gambler took a moment to head upstairs to investigate. “The city slicker gambler came running back down faster than the woman,” said a man who had been sitting at the bar with a bottle of whiskey, “like that man ain’t ever seen a ‘gator.” The saloon owner ran outside and called out to a couple of patrolling policeman, who promptly decided this situation was outside of their jurisdiction. Nobody at the saloon wanted to tangle with an alligator in close quarters. Fortunately, word spread about the out of place alligator and Akanowa, Chickasaw tracker and renowned alligator showed up.
Witnesses say she negotiated a fee with the owner, which he paid upfront. Akanowa then made her way upstairs. Witnesses reported that she remained upstairs for a long time, but no noise was heard. Akanowa came down and placed an empty bottle of whiskey on the counter. “‘Gator is already dead,” she said, “but all fees are nonrefundable.” The saloon owner sighed but did not argue, only asking Akanowa if she could remove the dead alligator. She replied, “sure, let’s talk about a removal fee.”
WANTED!
Investigators: Travel the Five States and report on what is going on.
Writers: Write the stories investigators find!
Photographers:
To take photographs to be used in the Herald.
Can also do all three!
Mexican standoff follows disbanding of posse
By Lucien Privitt
Seeing strength in numbers, a few cowpokes joined up in an alliance of convenience. Not truly friends, each member saw how they would individually benefit from a temporary alliance. For hours the hastily formed alliance hunted in the Heartlands, delivered goods, helped out locals, and more. Of course all things must end and so to did this temporary alliance of cowpokes. “The moment the posse was officially disbanded we all looked at each other with caution,” said one member of the temporary posse, “we had all seen how skilled we each were and were each obviously worried now that we no longer had an obligation not to attack each other.” Residents of Valentine watched the group part ways. “Seemed their friendship was at an end ‘cuz they all stared at each other and started backing away real slow-like,” said one resident. One of the men tripped while backing up, leading to an accidental discharge of his pistol. Witnesses say the former posse-mates suddenly got low to the ground and starting aiming their guns at each other. The one who fell eventually got up and apologized. According to witnesses, the individual members of the now disbanded posse managed to each go their separate way.
This is not a very rare occurrence, apparently. Another traveler I spoke with said, “whenever I join a posse of convenience, I watch for the mood. The moment I feel our time together is coming to an end, I grab my shotgun, back away, and whistle for my horse.” It seems strange that gunslingers just previously aligned would turn on each other so quickly. “The law ain’t quite taken the land yet,” said another traveler I spoke to, “and so as long as someone thinks they can better their own life at another’s expense, you need to be wary.”
Postage stamp series released for Trans-Mississippi Exposition
By Frederick Vannesse
The Trans-Mississippi Exposition kicked off just days ago, bringing in visitors from all over the world. To celebrate the occasion, the United States Postal Service has issued a series of nine stamps. The stamps feature classic Western style imaged finely engraved and portrayed on each stamp. The collection is the work of Edward Rosewater, who was given the position of Director of Publicity for the Exposition. Being an expert on stamps, Rosewater opted to have a collection made to spread awareness of the event. This is the second time the U.S. Postal Service has issued a commemorative set of stamps, the first time being the Colombia Exposition Series. One drawback to such detailed and stunning stamps is that some people do not want to use them. “I bought a set but couldn’t bring myself to use them,” said one customer, “I’ll put them away and maybe my grandson will appreciate them one day.” Standard stamps are still on sell for those who do not want to use the commemorative stamps as stamps.
Austro-Hungarian Empire to Test New Equipment
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
With the Russian empire in the news lately for all the wrong reasons, various other empires have begun to adopt and test new weaponry, perhaps just to look more competent. Among those are the aging Austro-Hungarian empire, whose military hasn’t fought a war in quite a long time, and a successful one even longer.
This week they have been testing out new variations of the mainstay of their army, the Mannlicher rifle; the most common model in use is the old M1888-1890 variant. It was a stop-gap of a gun, designed with both black powder and smokeless powder, that is thankfully changing.
The weapon being tested is the Mannlicher M1895 variant, designed from the ground up for modern ammunition and intended to rival the Krag Jorgensen rifle currently used by the United States army. It has one advantage over the Krag; it’s what’s called a straight bolt design; it requires only one fluid motion to reload. Unfortunately, it’s a pain to manufacture, and that’s if the weapon is even adopted. There are rumors it doesn’t do well in mud.
One only hopes these testing and maneuvers stay just that, a dress rehearsal for a party that will never come, but you know human nature, once you buy something, you’re going to want to use it.
The Five States Herald 