Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Wanted man freed when he doesn’t match his mugshot
By Adam Parvey
A wanted man was brought into the Rhodes sheriff station this week by a bounty hunter. What seemed like a routine capture turned out to be anything but. The bounty hunter claimed the captured person was Cullen Abley and the captured person did not deny the claim. However, they denied looking anything like the mugshot the bounty hunter used to identify him. The deputy on shift at first dismissed the prisoner’s claims. “Folks say all kinds of things to get themselves freed, like claiming they ain’t who they is,” the deputy said, “but I got tired of hearing him so I gave the poster a look and damn if the two men looked totally different!” Other deputies began looking at the poster started to question the prisoner’s identity. Word quickly spread in the small town that an innocent man may have been arrested. The bounty hunter was still in town and so they returned to the sheriff station.
“The bounty hunter came back and demanded the man not be freed,” said the deputy, “but I told him, I said to him, ‘look here, that man don’t look much like the man in the poster.'” The bounty hunter argued that he did his due diligence and assured the prisoner was Cullen Abley. The prisoner replied, “I ain’t saying who I am or who I ain’t, but I don’t look like that man in the poster so I can’t be him!” Sheriff Gray quickly tired of the arguing and freed the man, on the condition they leave Rhodes immediately. The bounty hunter was paid a bonus and sent on their way. The man who may or may not have been Cullen Abley, was found dead north of Rhodes the next day.
Border conflict in Hennigan’s Stead
By Wylie Frey
Tensions were high in Hennigan’s Stead this week when U.S. agents patrolling the border came across people trying to cross the border. “We came across these folks about mid-day,” said one of the agents, “they were well armed and clearly not to be taken lightly.” The agents greeted the group of people and reminded them that crossing the border was illegal. According to the agents, the group of people were not unreasonable but were persistent on being able to cross the border. “They didn’t want a fight, that’s for sure,” said one of the agents, “but they also were not in the mood for complying, which didn’t leave us much choice.” The agents drew their guns on the group and told them to return from where they came from. The agents and the would be border crossers argued, but the latter group kept their guns holstered and retreated from the scene. I spoke to one of the people who wanted to cross the border, who said, “I just wanted to see the world beyond the United States, why can’t we go to Mexico?”
Federal agents found dead at Wapiti Indian Reservation
By Jane Duran
A group of agents traveled to the Wapiti Reservation to perform a welfare check. The Wapiti Indians, like many other tribes, were displaced as the United States expanded. The tribe was moved from the area we now call the Heartlands to the less hospitable Ambarino. Not all of the Wapiti Tribe has taken up residency in the reservation however and recently, the entire tribe seemed to have disappeared, which was the reason for the welfare check.
When the agents did not return as expected, a second group of agents arrived to investigate. They found the bodies of the first group laying lifeless in the middle of the reservation. Most of them had several arrows in them, at least one of bodies had multiple stab wounds. “They were ambushed, most dead before they could mount a counter-attack,” said one of the investigators, “those not killed in the ambush were killed up close and personal.” They found no signs of the Wapiti tribe, however, not even footsteps surrounding the dead agents. “It’s as if the tribe has become all ghosts,” said one of the agents, clearly spooked by the attack. Authorities are warning travelers that the area is dangerous and that they should stay away.
Hunter tried to avoid Bear, Results less than Pleasing!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Bears are just a matter of life in the Five States. You never can truly avoid them, much as you wish you could. Maybe you’ll get lucky, and it’s the mostly harmless black bear, or it’s the aggressive grizzly. When you encounter one, there’s one old legend you will likely think of. If you stand still, for some reason, a bear will leave you alone. Well, a hunter put that into practice on Thursday, and it could have gone better.
Cowpoke Caleb McClintock and a friend were out hunting in Tall Trees, when they heard the roar of a grizzly. McClintock told his friend to stand still, and the bear will eventually leave them be. The friend just bolted and ran for a hill; he did look behind now and then to see the bear running up to McClintock, and tackling him. He didn’t stick around to see the bear devour the poor cowpoke’s head, but he knew his comrade was dead.
Later hunting parties confirmed that McClintock was torn to pieces by the bear, probably assuming he was safe up the last few moments of life. This tragic story comes with a lesson; no matter how experienced you are, you can easily make a fatal mistake.
Man arrested for murder argues he did not murder anybody at all
By Lucien Privitt
A man was arrested for throwing another man off of a cliff to his death. Multiple witnesses place the alleged killer and the victim at the top of Brandywine Drop but nobody actually saw the push. “Both fellers were up there and then I heard a gunshot,” said one witness, “moments later the one feller came flying and screaming off the cliff.” The victim crashed into the water below and while he survived the initial fall, he died soon after. “He had multiple broken ribs, which had punctured a lung and made it difficult to breath,” said a doctor who performed the autopsy. Other witnesses confirmed the sound of a gunshot before the man’s fall, however, there were not recent gunshot wounds on the victim. Investigators have determined the gunshot to have likely been the result of a confrontation. “Perhaps it was a warning from one to the other,” said one investigator, “or perhaps it was a really poor shot.”
The alleged killer, a man called “Crafty” Worth, has maintained his innocence. According to Mr. Worth, he did not push the man or shoot the man. “I didn’t send him over the edge, he did that to himself,” Mr. Worth said. According to Mr. Worth, the victim was urinating over the edge of the cliff. “How disgusting, you know?” Mr. Worth commented, “pissing from that high is bound to spread your waste into unpleasant places in a windy place like Brandywine.” It was due to this apperant lack of respect for others that influenced Mr. Worth’s next decision. “I crept slowly behind him and fired my gun into the air,” Mr. Worth laughed, “I figured he’d piss on himself a bit, how was I to know he’d jump off the damn cliff?”
Using witness statements, investigators have attempted to recreate the fall. “We don’t have an exact location of where hte body fell,” an investigator admitted, “but we have a strong idea and so far, pushed test dummies have fallen farther than expected based on witness statements.” While it is to early to determine that Mr. Worth is innocent, the investigator did suggest that it may mean Mr. Worth’s story may be true. The trial is expected in two weeks time.
Horse stuns Valentine residents with balancing act
By Donna Deshner
For the first time in a very long time, it was a slow news week in Valentine. So slow, in fact, that a horse became the mostly lively talking point of the week. It was not, however, just a horse being a horse, of course. The horse in question found it’s way onto the second story of a building and then started walking along the guardrail. Residents were stunned by the display of balance and grace. “It just looked so proud and so majestic,” said one of the residents, “I seen many horses in my day but never seen one as graceful as this.” Others remarked that it seemed they were watching the impossible. “I’m truly surprised that the rail held,” said another resident, “I’ve seen many men thrown right through those rails and they always break all flimsy like, it’s a wonder they held under the weight of a full grown horse.
Of course, this being Valentine, all good things must come to an end. A traveler rode into town and took one look at the horse before shooting it dead. The town collectively gasped in shock and the shooter merely shrugged. A bounty was issued for the shooter, which quickly led to a shootout. Ending the slow news week at Valentine. A dozen lawmen were killed before the shooter fled the town.
Another fisherman killed by an alligator
By Emeline Vickroy
A fisherman was in the bayou at night hoping to catch a few fish. Instead, he was caught. Witnesses at Lagras said they saw the man pulled under. “He was fishing a little ways into the water, you see,” said a witness, “and then he just went down and was pulled into the water.” To the witnesses, it was immediately obvious that an alligator pulled the man under. A few moments later, however, the man resurfaced screaming for help. Several Lagras residents ran to his aid, but not before the alligator attacked again. According to witnesses the man tried to fight the alligator off but was unsuccessful. “Often the ‘gator tried to drown its victim, a Lagras resident said, “this ‘gator though, was much more aggressive.” Witnesses say the alligator grabbed them man’s head in its jaws and then crushed the man’s head. The struggling stopped and the would be rescuers gave up. “He was dead at that point, and there ain’t a good reason to risk our lives for a corpse,” said one of the witnesses who had sprung into action to rescue the poor man, “once you’re ‘gator food, that’s all you’ll ever be.”
Infamous Civil War Crime Solved!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Justice is blind, a statement I’m sure you’ve heard when a great injustice goes uncorrected. I like to think of it as a long bending arc; eventually good prevails, but it certainly takes its sweet time. This week, justice finally reached its destination.
You may recall the longstanding criminal John Smith, discussed recently here at the Five States. A union soldier who was found guilty of murdering countless innocent women. Well, after that piece was published, a curious writer sent some information to my office. It was a letter written by a Fredrich Miller, a union soldier captured at the battle of Fredericksburg. It detailed his cellmate, a man going by John Smith, who fits the killer’s description!
It says he came down with Typhus in January 1863, and died in a hospital around February 5th. Miller was in attendance when Smith passed. His body was then thrown into a mass grave to avoid spreading the disease. Miller himself was eventually freed later in the year and survived the war; his current whereabouts are unknown.
Some may call this an unsatisfying end, the murderer died of an unrelated illness, and there never was a cathartic conviction. That would have been nice in a perfect world, but now we know his ultimate fate and can take solace that he died withering in pain. Good enough for me.
San Francisco approves municipal ownership of utilities
By Frederick Vannesse
San Francisco has become as approved an official City Charter. City Charters serve as a city’s own small version of a constitution, though they are considerably more specific by design. The charter allows the city to own utility companies. These companies have often been owned by private actors, leaving basic utility service something only the well-off could afford. By allowing the city to own utilities, the city leadership hopes to expand access to utilities. “It is time we all benefit from the progress we have made as a nation,” a spokesmen for the city council said. It is unknown how long it will take the city to get utilities to areas that lack them, but they are optimistic that in time, “every household will have electricity and running water.”
Is an international scandal coming?
By Ivy Seager
The Spanish-American war is a painful, but recent, memory for many. It all kicked off when the USS Lewiston exploded while docked in Cuba. The US blamed Spanish forces for sabotage and declared war on Spain soon after. The Spanish have insisted that they had nothing to do with the explosion. Now, new information has come to light, though that light is dim presently. An individual stationed at that very dock who wishes to remain anonymous, told me that no Spanish soldier or civilian could have compromised the USS Lewiston. “I was on guard duty that day and I can tell you, only US personnel were on that ship,” they said. They said they also spoke to an engineer friend who said the ship explosion was an accident, likely the result of gunpowder catching fire. The United States government did not respond for comment, offering only the official report to review.
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