Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Photographer takes never before seen “bird’s eye” view photographs of the Five States
By Lucien Privitt
Nyla Brock, a photographer who lives in the Five States, has recently taken to the sky to expand on their catalogue of photographs. Brock commissioned a hot air balloon, controlled by an experienced balloonist. The experience was both breathtaking and challenging. Using techniques and technology not yet available for mass consumption, Nyla Brock was able to photograph the Five States in a way only birds ever see. Several of these photographs are printed here in this very paper for your viewing pleasure. Though, readers, I must warn you, the quality of these photographs is greatly diminished by our printing methods. High quality reproductions of these photographs may be made available at a later time. And while this may not be “wordy” enough for a newspaper, the feat is indeed news-worthy in and of itself.
Protest at the southern border
By Wylie Frey
Residents across the Five States traveled to New Austin to protest the prohibition of travel into Mexico. Tensions have been high in the region as U.S. authorities maintain a policy of now allowing travel into Mexico. Those who have traveled into Mexico have had to exploit holes in border security. They risk fines and potentially not being allowed back into the U.S.. Residents, however, are frustrated with this policy.
“I’ve been here for over two years, why can’t I travel across the Mexico border?” one resident said, “this is America, where a man still has freedom to go where they please, right?” Several residents shared this concern and those that gathered at the border demanded a change in policy. Nobody from the government, however, was at these protests. Some suggested that border policy protests should be conducted at government buildings and not where “protesters are pretty much invisible.” Government authorities refused to comment on the policy.
Ambarino Rangers to be formed
By Jane Duran
After years of lawlessness in Ambarino, the governor has announced the first steps into tackling it. The Governor’s office announced that it will be forming the Ambarino Rangers. The Ambarino Rangers will be a “highly skilled group of explorers and gunfighters who know Ambarino better than any outlaw.” The goal of the Ambarino Rangers will be to hunt down outlaws but also patrol hiking trails to keep travelers safe. While the state is large and mostly remote, the Governor’s office believes that the Ambarino Rangers only need “a dozen or so skilled men or women” to be effective. If successful, the Ambarino Rangers will reduce the state’s reliance on community members for security. No time table was given for when the Ambarino Rangers can be expected to start patrols.
WANTED!
Investigators: Travel the Five States and report on what is going on.
Writers: Write the stories investigators find!
Photographers:
To take photographs to be used in the Herald.
Can also do all three!
Statewide bonus brings many shoppers to West Elizabeth stores
By Odell Clifton
The state legislature allotted an amount of gold nuggets for the purpose of promoting the state’s stores, bringing many shoppers to stores in Blackwater and Strawberry. “We’re always a fairly busy town,” said a Blackwater store owner, “but lots more folks coming in and looking around.” While not all visitors purchases something, sales in Blackwater were up at least 50%. “I collect the town taxes at the end of the week,” said a representative from the city council, “and I collected much more money than usual.” In Blackwater, the promotion seems to have paid off. Strawberry, however, is another story. “I mostly had the same visitors as always,” said the owner of the Strawberry general store, “but I had to give them gold nuggets all the same.” Strawberry is a small town known for three things: hunting, local prohibition of alcohol, and not having a telegraph system. Its remote location limits its visitors to hunters and hermits, though the latter rarely come in from the wilderness. A state legislator who was instrumental in ensuring the gold nugget reward said, “while it may be more efficient to reward shoppers in only specific towns, it wouldn’t be very patriotic or equitable to our North West Elizabethans,” before adding, “vote for Bertram Becraft!” This program has been criticized by shop owners in the past when it was ran under the BHTNC, however, it seems even under state and local administration it will remain as it always was.
Attempted Writer’s Heart Crushed in Valentine!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Getting into writing is hard. Having to always think of the right words to make a sentence flow can drive the strongest of people mad with rage. This only worsens when you factor in competition; everyone wants to be famous. Some famous writers have no talent, while small-time writers are full of it. John Conrad is among the latter.
Since growing up in Valentine, he has dreamed of being an author. So he did just that; he spent the last five years writing a book, a fictional account of a future where the Civil War never ended. Many people read the draft and thought it showed much talent. Well, this week, Conrad took it to a publishing house, which they turned down.
The reason was not given, but Conrad didn’t take the news well. He got drunk and wandered the streets of Valentine, cursing the names of romance writers and gossip columnists. No talent clowns get paid while the good suffer, he repeated time and time again. Local lawmen didn’t try to arrest him; they felt more pity towards him anyway. It’s sad to see someone’s entire dreams be violently murdered before your eyes, in a town called Valentine no less!
Stunt goes wrong in the bayou
By Emeline Vickroy
An amateur stunt show was performed in the bayou this week with fatal results. “Wild West Stunt Shows” are all the rage across the nation. Skilled gunslingers and showmen of a variety of talents put on outlandish shows for the pleasure of paying customers. Some of these performers are legitimate gunfighters, being retired soldiers, lawmen, and in some cases, outlaws. Two friends in the bayou thought they could compete with death defying stunts of their own. The free stunt show started off well enough. “They started by catching some big ole catfish with their bare hands!” said one onlooker. While that impressed quite a few of those in attendance, their next feat shocked even the most harden cowpoke in the audience.
“They started ranglin’ ‘gators and wrestlin’ with them,” said a witness, “and it was pretty amazing!” The fans in attendance gasped in shock as it seemed like one of the men was about to lose to an alligator and then cheered when the man mounted the beast before quickly rolling away to safety. The men next prepared the audience for an ax throwing feet. One man put an apple on their head while the other threw an ax into the air from “at least 50 feet away.” The audience gasped as the ax soared into the air and fell to complete silence. The ax missed its mark. Instead of hitting the apple it hit the man’s friend between his neck and shoulder. The audience watched in horror as the man bled to death. Authorities arrived at the scene and after interviewing witnesses, described it as an unfortunate accident. No murder charges were filed, however, a citation was issued for “unpermitted entertainment.”
Ring of fire spotted in the sky
By Adam Parvey
A fire was spotted in the sky this week by several travelers. It was described as being large and in a ring shape. When word got out about the ring of fire, several folks came to take a look. Some believed it to be a sign from God, while others said it was a sign of the end times. Gregoria Haskins, a well known Respawner, said it was neither. “It’s simply a sign of the false world we live in,” Miss Haskins said, “though I don’t think it was meant to be there.” Miss Haskins looked troubled while she elaborated, “what is concerning is that it suggests people other than the creators can modify the world itself.” Miss Haskins suggested that this may explain what has been described as the thinning of the barrier between worlds. “If this goes unchecked it could lead to calamity,” Miss Haskins warned, “giant alligators, lions, tigers, and bears, oh my!”
Miss Haskins somberly left us with this, ” we could be at the end times, real Old Testament. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies, rivers and seas boiling, 40 years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes, dead rising from the grave, human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!”
Long Lost Civil War Criminal Still Alive?
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
A detective in New York was doing his rounds late one evening. He saw a man sweeping the sidewalk and paid him little attention. But he did look awfully familiar for some reason he couldn’t grasp. When he returned to the station, he realized that man was a wanted criminal, often presumed dead. He was nowhere to be seen when the police came looking. His name is John Smith, and he was found guilty decades ago.
He had been a young volunteer in the Civil War, a happy boy in blue ready to defend the Union. Oh, if it were so simple, he had been a local from a small town in Vermont. Most people there knew him and liked him well enough. In 1863 rumor spread that he had died at the battle of Fredericksburg, his home was put up for sale, and a new family moved in. Instead of finding a quiet farm, they found over a dozen female corpses. John Smith had been murdering women for years before the war.
Local police launched an investigation, all evidence pointed to him dying in the war, but many were unconvinced. The rumors and legends grew not long after; every couple years, he would appear. If you ask me, people are chasing ghosts, hoping to right a wrong, that nature itself righted back in 1862.
Former British Prime Minister dies from heart failure
By Ivy Seager
William Ewart Gladstone served as the British Prime Minister on four separate occasions. His first term as Prime Minister started in 1868 and his final term ended in 1894. Before becoming Prime Minister, Mr. Gladstone had a long record of service to the Crown, starting in 1832 when at the age of 22 he was elected to the British House of Commons. Known as a champion of the working class, Mr. Gladstone was often referred to as “The People’s William.” Mr. Gladstone was also an early supporter of freeing slaves, though he was often at odds with abolitionists for preferring a gradual move toward freedom for slaves. This gradual process included the creation of education and apprenticeship programs for freed slaves. However, later in his political career Mr. Gladstone became increasingly critical of slavery, a position that brought him into economic conflict with his slave owning father. As President of the Board of Trade, Mr. Gladstone proposed halving the taxes on all sugar produced by non-slave plantations. In the years following the abolition of slavery in the Western world, Mr. Gladstone said it was one of the greatest feats mankind accomplished in the last 60 years, saying it was the masses who had it right and the elites who had it wrong. Mr. Gladstone passed away at Hawarden Castle while under the care of his daughter.
The Five States Herald 