Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Oldest Five State Citizen Dies
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Life never lasts forever. It’s not something we like to ponder very much, but it’s true, one day, the waters of life will recede, time will slow, and nothing will remain. Some fight against this inevitability; some accept it. A woman died this week; she had done both throughout her life.
Rebecca Gill was her name, not related to monarchy or the wealthy. She left no heirs, and those who knew her had kind words but little more. She was in many ways unremarkable, except in the time she dwelled on this Earth. She was born sometime in the 18th century, when none can precisely say. She had a golden childhood, got married, had children, grew old and grey. Yet life went on; it went on the way it does for everyone, with ups and downs, happy days, and sad days. But here she remained; by the end, everyone else was long gone.
In those last few months, many asked her what it was like so long ago, or if she had known anyone famous. Life changes little, it was reported she said, but you learn to love the small things. In so passes into legend a woman who lived longer than trees and founding fathers. The likes of which will perhaps never be seen again.
Routine takedown turns into bizarre clown show
By Jose Chavez
A woman was attacked in Armadillo this week by a man on horseback. He fired multiple shots at her, with one hitting her shoulder. Witnesses say she was unphased as she pulled a bolas from her belt and quickly had the attacker wrapped up. “She acted real quick,” said a witness, “saved herself and a few others for sure.” The woman then hogtied the man to keep him secure and began removing any weapons on him. However, that is where it all went bizarre. “She must have pulled a dozen pistols out of the man’s pants!” a witness said. Not used to anything exciting happening in town, residents of Armadillo gathered around to watch revolver after revolver be pulled from the man’s possessions. “Just when we thought it was weird enough, it got weirder,” another witness remarked. After over a dozen revolvers were collected, the woman began pulling sticks of dynamite out of the man’s bag.
“I don’t know where he kept it all,” said the woman who refused to be a victim, “it’s like I was pulling dynamite out of his ass!” The hogtied attacker’s friends soon showed up and attacked the woman. Thinking quickly, she grabbed a few sticks of dynamite and took cover. As the new wave of attackers came she threw dynamite in their tracks, taking them down quickly. Those not killed in the dynamite explosion were shot. It is unclear why the attackers chose Armadillo but the beleaguered residents were glad to have a champion in town when it happened.
Hostage escapes after spending several days bound in Colter
By Jane Duran
A woman was found crawling in the snow near Lake Isabella by a fisherman who nearly did not see her. “She was moving painfully slowly,” the fisherman said, “and pretty covered in snow.” Fortunately for her, he noticed her out of the corner of his eye and held his instinct to shoot first. “I thought it could have been a wolf about to attack, but see it was just a poor woman before I pulled the trigger,” the fisherman said. He gave up on his plan to go fishing at the lake and instead loaded the woman into his wagon and wrapped her in the few blankets he kept on hand.
The Valentine doctor was able to tend to the woman and said he found her just in time. “Had spent another hour crawling in the snow, it is likely I’d have had to amputate fingers, feet, maybe a whole arm or leg,” said Dr. Ben Calloway. The woman will remain in Valentine where she will recoup her strength. As she has been unable to speak much, her identity is not yet known.
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Something Lurks in the Sea!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Sealife is fascinating yet rarely understood. It is, by all means, the last great frontier of discovery; beneath the waves lies a whole new world. It’s a world cloaked in darkness and holds many secrets, including, perhaps, giant monsters?
The topic of sea monsters is quite mocked in the Five States, just sailor talk or misidentification, yet month after month, there are tales of something living in Flat Iron Lake. What it is, none can say; it’s been described as a biblical sea beast, a sea serpent, and a dinosaur. It peaks up from the waters off of Blackwater and quickly goes back beneath the waves; no such photo has been taken.
The creature doesn’t have a name, although local fishers have sometimes called it Pearl. Scientific opinion is pretty negative; no evidence beyond hearsay and conjecture like so many other legends of the West. One thing is sure, accurate or not; the stories continue to stick around. Some people even visit Blackwater to catch a glimpse of a legend. It doesn’t get more American than this; tell a possibly false story about a creature and then profit from it.
Old man claims to have been abducted and left for dead at Hani’s Bethel
By Donna Deshner
Hani’s Bethel is a strange location just north of the Heartland Overflow. The apparently abandoned building is decorated with controversial and unexplainable imagery inside. It has long been rumored that the location is used by cultists for ritual sacrifices or to contact other worlds. The old man says he found a camp in the Heartlands and decided to warm up by the fire. The camp owner arrived and was not to happy about the old man’s present. “The damn fool hogtied me and put me on his horse!” the old man said. He had no idea where he was going until he was carried into the building and he saw the inside of the alleged cultist gathering place. “I asked them to drown me, anything but leave me there!” the old man explained. His captor ignored the pleas and left him at what he described as the ‘alter of Hani’s Bethel.’ The old man managed to escape his bindings and flee the location before any cultists arrived. He filed a report in Valentine, however, could not provide any information that could be used to identify his captor.
BHTNC vouchers not be recognized anymore?
By Emeline Vickroy
The dissolution of the BHTNC, the private group of investors who have focused on developing the Five States over the last few years, has so far had very few consequences. One wanted man, however, ran into a bit of a problem. One of the more controversial rewards the BHTNC sponsored in partnership with Wheeler, Rawson, and Co. was bounty payment vouchers. These vouchers allowed a wanted individual to completely clear their bounty at a train station. The voucher would be collected and then provided to the BHTNC along with the amount of the bounty the voucher cleared. The BHTNC then payed the bounty in full. With the dissolution of the group, those vouchers are in limbo. A wanted man with a $100 bounty arrived at the Saint Denis police station looking to clear their name. However, the train clerk refused to take the voucher. “I don’t know that these vouchers are still being honored,” the clerk reportedly said, “who is gonna pay them if there ain’t no BHNTC anymore?” The wanted man contacted the Saint Denis government, who reportedly told him to, “avoid crafting items or making purchases for 24 hours.”
Local law enforcement eventually attempted to arrest the man, though he fled by hopping onto a train leaving the station. We contacted Wheeler, Rawson, and Co. regarding these vouchers. A company spokesman said they regret any confusion regarding the vouchers. The company then promised to offer full payment for all vouchers and requested that law enforcement authorities continue to honor the vouchers.
Rustlers quietly arrive in the Five States
By Lucien Privitt
Livestock owners have been warned that known rustlers have entered the Five States. At present, their intention is unknown, however law enforcement across the region is warning that they may cause trouble. “While it may be that these known rustlers are looking to start a new life in the Five States, I’m mighty suspicious of their presence,” said Sheriff Curtis Malloy of the Five States, “best case scenario, they fail in their new ventures and return to rustling, worst case scenario they are just here to rustle, either way they are rustling.” With the BHTNC abandoning the Five States for other ventures, residents must rely on their own wit and resources to deal with this new potential threat. “I don’t need no BHTNC or no lawmen either,” said one farmer, “I got a rifle and a pistol for every hand on my ranch and they know to kill rustlers on sight.” Though the rustlers arrived using pseudonyms, they were recognized by a train station clerk who had seen them on a wanted poster from outside of the Five States. As they have yet to break any laws in any of the five states, they have not been arrested. “I can’t say for every sheriff, but I’m keeping a close eye,” said Sheriff Freeman, “and if one of these known rustlers comes around my town and so much as touches livestock, I’ll shoot that bastard dead and let the vultures have him.” For cowpokes without a farm to worry about, the rustlers may much to do about nothing. Their actions, however, may also offer opportunities for gunslingers looking for new challenges.
Wrestling fans remember the Terrible Turk and the rumble at the Met he inspired one year ago
By Frederick Vannesse
The wrestler called the Terrible Turk, real name Youssouf Ishmaelo, dominated American wrestlers during his tour of the United States. Everywhere he went he used his strength and skill to overcome all challengers. “He really shook the landscape of wrestling,” said sports analyst Bryant Parkhurst, “with wrestling being the American past time it was quite shocking to see a foreign wrestler be so dominate.” Ishmaelo would go on to secure a nearly perfect record in the United States before tragically dying in a shipwreck. His only loss on record was to Ernest Roeber as a result of a disqualification with Roeber was carelessly flung over the top ropes and into the audience. A riot nearly formed with fans angry and upset with Ishmaelo, who had to be escorted out of the arena by police. Fans gathered outside the Met to remember the Terrible Turk in a new light. “We didn’t realize what was right in front of us,” one fan said, “we hated him so much that we started to love wrestling more than ever and we haven’t hated another wrestler so much since.” The Met did not official recognize the gathering as it continues to distance itself from professional wrestling.
Composer Louis Théodore Gouvy dies in Liepzig
By Ivy Seager
Louis Théodore Gouvy, composer of such pieces as Aslega, Œdipe à Colone, Iphigénie en Tauride, Électre, and Polyxène, passed away at the age of 79. Gouvy began piano lessons at the age of 8. A prodigy, Gouvy mastered German, French, Italian, and English. At the age of 18 Gouvy went to France to study and law. At this time he started his tutelage under Henri Herz, an already accomplished pianist. Unlike other composers, Gouvy preferred instrumental music and so did not produce as many operas. In hi slater years he was nominated to the Académie des Beaux-Arts in Paris as well as the König-Preussische Akademie in Berlin. Fans of Gouvy’s compositions have praised his dual inspiration, bringing elements of French and German music together in unique ways. The cause of his death was not specified in the report of his passing, though it is assumed he died of old age.
The Five States Herald 