Caravan assaulted!
By Wylie Frey
A caravan leaving MacFarlane Ranch was attacked halfway only minutes into the journey. About a dozen outlaws descended on the three wagon caravan firing on the drivers. Fortunately, the MacFarlane family hired skilled shotgun messengers. “One was a crack shot with a rifle,” said one of the drivers, before adding, “you know the whole shotgun thing is just like a title right? Don’t mean they always use shotguns.” I felt personally attacked by the clarification, which I happened to know already, but I digress. The attackers’ numbers were thinned quickly on their approach. By the time they reached the wagons only about four were still alive.

“They were persistant, trying until the very end,” said another driver, “don’t know why, not but some basic provisions in the wagons, not much value.” None of the attackers survived and so none could be questioned. Law enforcement authorities suggests a wagon full of basic provisions may not be of monetary value but could keep a gang well fed. “Thing is, some of these gangs get pretty big and need food,” said a lawman, “and while they may use stolen money to purchase food, stealing food directly is just as viable.” The MacFarlanes said they always hire shotgun messengers for deliveries because the roads are rarely safe.

Family of dead man suing tonic manufacturer
By Jane Duran
A tonic manufacturer has found itself at the business end of a lawsuit following the death of Edmon Mailer. According to his family, Mr. Mailer had purchases large quantities of “hardy” tonic. Hardy tonic claims to provide you what you need to survive otherwise unlivable conditions. In other words, it warms you in the cold and cools you in the heat. A miracle tonic among miracle tonics. Mr. Mailer traveled from his home in New Hanover into Ambarino, boasting that he would survive in plain clothes using hardy tonic to sustain himself.

That was two weeks ago. This week, Mr. Mailer’s body was discovered in a cave. He died next to a pile of wood that appeared to be built for a fire but had never been lit. One of Mr. Mailer’s shoes was missing and evidence of frostbite could be seen on his exposed foot. He was also very thin and gaunt, as if he had not eaten in awhile. One intact, but empty, tonic bottle was found along with a pile of broken glass. It is unclear exactly what happened but there were no signs of an attack, either by an outlaw or an animal. It appears Mr. Mailer simply ran out of hardy tonic and was no prepared for such an event. Mr. Mailer’s family is suing the tonic manufacturer, claiming that the boastful claims used to market the tonic directly led to Mr. Mailer’s death by giving him a false sense of confidence. The tonic manufacturer has not issued a statement, though tonic provider Harriet Davenport said, “no warning can fix stupid.”

Naturalist killed in what a hunter is calling an accident
By Nick McCrary
Agnes Ackerman, a hunter, has found herself in a tough place: the Blackwater jail. She is being held following the killing of a naturalist named Reese Mattson. What is known to be true is that Ackerman killed Mattson. Miss Ackerman admitted to the deed. However, she claims it was an accident. According to Miss Ackerman she was tracking a bear in Tall Trees. Not willing to take any chances, Miss Ackerman loaded her elephant gun and was prepared to fire. “I heard something behind me, which surprised me as I had been very careful,” Miss Ackerman explained, “so I turned quick, raised my rifle and fired as soon as I saw the slightest bit of movement.”

It only took a moment for Miss Ackerman to realize the great error she had made. “It wasn’t no bear, it was a man dressed in the colors of the forest,” Miss Ackerman explained, “and doused in a blending tonic, making him smell like the damn forest too.” The elephant gun blew Mr. Mattson’s chest open. According to Miss Ackerman, he gurgled and tried to speak for a few minutes before dying. Miss Ackerman took Mr. Mattson’s body to Blackwater and confessed to what happened. Blackwater police are currently investigating. With no other witnesses, it may be difficult to confirm Miss Ackerman’s tale, but she remains committed to her story. Blackwater Chief of Police Oswald Dunbar is asking anyone who saw the incident to come forward to testify.

Robbery attempt starts fire at Cornwall Kerosene & Tar
By Emery Cosberry
A posse of outlaws attacked the Cornwall Kerosene & Tar headquarters outside of Valentine this week. The location is not known as a particularly valuable target, as Mr. Leviticus Cornwall has publicly stated that the little cash is kept on the premises. This has not stopped outlaws from attacking the site. Anything with Cornwall’s name on it tends attract attention of those looking to make quick buck. The location is known to be heavily guarded, with several armed guards. The attack started at night, under the cover of darkness. The guards say one of the attackers thew a fire bomb into a room of guards. The fire quickly began spreading throughout the building. The attackers were spooked by the growing fire and fled, which was fortunate for the guards.

With the attackers on retreat the guards were able to focus on putting the fire out. It was good fortune that a storm came into the area soon after the fire started. According to Cornwall employees, the fire never reached the tar fields. “Had the fire got beyond the building things would have gone quite bad,” said one of the employees, “last time the tar caught fire it lasted for weeks!” New Hanover state police are investigating the attack but have not identified any of the attackers. Additionally, Mr. Cornwall has hired the Pinkertons to aid in the investigation.

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Bootlegger arrested after assault on customer
By Aloysius Levron
In a somewhat bizarre story, a bootlegger and their customer ended up in jail after the customer filed assault charges against the bootlegger. According to the customer, they were the victim of a violent assault. The admitted to ordering a delivery of moonshine, alcohol that is made and sold without paying any taxes on the beverage. Alcohol is subject to a national tax that moonshiners hire bootleggers to get around. The customer in question lives in the bayou region south of Saint Denis. The area is known for being difficult to navigate. Much of the land is under shallow pools of water and the land that is above water is soft and difficult to move through. To make the area worse, it has a large population of alligators, making any fall into the shallow waters potentially the last fall a cowpoke makes.

To navigate the shallow waters and mushy land, a narrow “road” of word was built. The elevated platform serves well for walking and can even be navigated on a horse decently enough. A wagon, however, is a challenge. While delivering 20 bottles of moonshine to the customer, the bootlegger fell victim to dangers of the region. “I heard him yell out ‘god dammit, another one!’ and so I came out to see what happened,” the customer said, “then he started cursing at me, saying it was my fault he wouldn’t get his bonus from his boss.” The customer said he received only 17 bottles of alcohol, the others broke in transit. “See, it ain’t my fault my order wasn’t full, that’s on the deliverer,” the customer said, “he saw it differently and attacked me.” The customer managed to see the doctor in Saint Denis. While he will be fine, he did have a broken rib.

The bootlegger was arrested the next day. They admitted to the assault but denied the bootlegging allegations. They did not say why they attacked the man, but said, “break for a break is a fair trade.” The customer was arrested immediately after for their admission to buying untaxed alcohol. Both men will be transferred to a federal prison for participation in bootlegging. Before being transferred, the alleged bootlegger will serve time for assault.

Intercollegiate Trapshooting Association forms in New York City
By Frederick Vannesse
Guns have been a party of American life since it began. It was firearms that were used to overthrow the British. It was firearms that that reunited the country. It was firearms that tamed the West. To celebrate this long history, the Intercollegiate Trapshooting Association has formed. The association organizes clay shooting competitions between colleges while also maintaining a consistent set of rules. Clay shooting is a sport that is growing in popularity. It involves someone throwing a clay disc or having the disc fired from a machine. Shooters then aim at the flying discs. It is a test of patience and accuracy. Colleges from across the nation are applying to join the association.

Western woman received into Indian monastic order
By Ivy Seager
Margaret Noble has become the first western woman to be received into the Indian monastic order. She has taken the name Sister Nivedita after taking the vow of Brahmacharya. Sister Nivedita met Swami Vivekananda in London in 1895, which is when she became interested in the Indian monastic order. Swami Vivekananda is an Indian Hindu monk who has acted as an ambassador of his faith, bringing it to the western world. His introduction of a relaxation technique to the western world known as yoga has been slow to spread, but may one day take the world by storm. Swami Vivekananda accepted Sister Nivedita in Calcutta, India, giving her the name Nivedita, which means Dedicated to God. Sister Nivedita’s vows suggest a future where people from differing cultures may learn from one another and even adopt new ways of living. One can only hope.

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