Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Polish Organizer Visits with Politicians!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
The kingdom of Poland is quite old, even by European standards. It’s also technically speaking, not currently in existence. It is presently a section of the Russian Empire, and the idea of an independent state is not very popular with the Tsar. Of course, the people in what constitutes Poland are still quite active, and many aren’t willing to let the dream die.
This week, a notable organizer by the name of Józef Piłsudski met with some Five State senators to see if he could reach a bargain for political support. What form this support took is unclear; diplomatic pressure says some, rifles and pistols say others.
Autocratic rule is well-known throughout the empire, but some of these organizers have ties to anarchist groups and socialist causes. Piłsudski denies membership in either organization, but he does run a worker-based newspaper that has a lot of support within those circles.
Tsar Nicholas II made little mention of the meeting, beyond a slight comment that the US government best not interfere in the affairs of foreign empires. It’s just another reminder that what happens in Europe eventually affects us, one way or the other.
Armadillo resident furious after bounty hunter demolishes their fence
By Jose Chavez
Armadillo is a sad story, truth be told. The town has been plagued with so many illnesses that many wonder if God himself has a vendetta against the folk that live there. Isabel Beldine is an Armadillo resident who has mostly escaped the illnesses. “For years I have been self sufficient, securing my own sources of drink, you see,” Miss Beldine said, “and so with caution, I have carved out a decent life in this God forsaken town.” That ‘decent’ life is not lucrative, however, something Miss Beldine was reminded of this week.
A bounty hunter lost control of their wagon, steering into Mess Beldine’s property. In doing so, the bounty hunter broke part of a fence and got their wagon stuck. Much to Miss Beldine’s dismay, however, the bounty hunter pulled out a stick of dynamite and blew the fence up. While the bounty hunter was able to remove his wagon, Miss Beldine is wondering how she will afford to fix the fence. “The bastard just left, sheriff said he paid ’em and sent ’em on his way,” said Miss Beldine, “but I’ll find him, and if I have to, I’ll take the damn word to fix my fence from his wagon!”
Ambarino government warns against traveling to Mount Hagen
By Caylen V. Hornby
An independent exploration group in the Five States is encouraging folks to ascend to the peak of Mount Hagen. The group has managed to secure enough funding to offer gold nuggets for those daring enough to make the trip. That trip is scheduled for this very Sunday. As you read this story, folks are preparing to ascend the snowy mountain to earn a few gold nuggets. Ambarino authorities are warning would be travlers of the dangers the mountain poses.
“Mount Hagen has claimed the life of many skilled travelers,” said a spokesman for the state, “avalanches come suddenly and it is easy to lose your footing and fall a long way.” As a result of these dangers, Ambarino authorities regularly warn against traveling up the mountain. Ambarino rangers will be out in force for the remainder of the weekend both to warn travelers and rescue those that get in over their head. “If you must go to Mount Hagen, please be careful and use caution,” the state authorities warned.
Toxicity on the rise
By Nick McCrary
The Blackwater Saloon had to temporarily close this week when part of its supply of liquor was discovered to be toxic. The owner was not sure how it happened, but did admit to purchasing alcohol through a local distributor. That local distributore is technically considered a moonshine operation by the federal government, but doing business with them does not violate West Elizabeth state law. However, the entire shipment was toxic and resulted in the poisoning of nearly a dozen saloon patrons.
The Saloon owner and operator quickly closed the saloon and took inventory of his stock. “I quickly discovered the problem and destroyed all of the liquor from that shipment,” the bartender said, “my supplier assured me it was a mistake and that it will not happen again.” Toxic moonshine leaves a cloud of poison gas in its wake when the bottles are broken, so it is unclear how the poisonous alcohol went unnoticed by the drinkers. Thankfully, nobody died. The city of Blackwater will not be fining the saloon as a result of their quick action to resolve the situation themselves and paying for the poisoned patrons’ medical care.
New arrival receives warm welcome to the Five States
By Donna Deshner
A cowpoke who had been in the Five States for just a few days was welcomed to the region by a long time resident. Despite rising hostility and violent crime, this welcome was genuinely warm. The newcomer said they were taking a break, warming by the fire of their camp when a stranger rode in. “I heard a few things, about violent folks and murderers,” the newcomer said, “but I was cautiously optimistic that I would survive the encounter.” The stranger got off their horse and dropped a pristine cougar on the ground. “It was a clean kill, not a mark on the pelt,” the newcomer said. Before leaving, the stranger danced with the newcomer under the moonlight. “They left without ever saying a word,” the newcomer said, “but they are alright by me and I hope this is a good omen for my time in the Five States.” The newcomer was able to sell the cougar pelt at a premium while using the meat for a couple days worth of meals.
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Law firm seeks new employees!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
The law is word, a phrase repeated to irritation out in the west. It’s not just who writes the law or who enforces the law; it’s who represents and upholds the law that sometimes matters most. The people who will fight for you within those stated laws. One such firm is trying to attract new members as we speak.
Kofman and Son is a small law firm in Saint-Denis. Andrew Kofman, an Englishmen by trade, has been a respected lawyer for many years. He has represented many clients and has a good enough reputation among the law. Unfortunately, he has lost a few paralegal assistants over the years; the Black Rose herself even killed a few. But the mourning process is short for those who argue in court.
Kofman has sent fliers to just about anyone interested in law. He promises good wages, good cases, and higher security than before. There have been rumors that he’s legally involved in the tycoon war between Cornwall and Tremaine, which has entered a cold war of some sort.
Such a job, of course, still carries serious risks, but the payout might be worth it. It also sometimes just helps to represent the common man in its struggle; that’s rewarding too.
Stable owners give gold nuggets out to encourage visits
By Adam Parvey
For weeks stables across the Five States were effectively inaccessible. Stable hands all over the Five States found humor in locking customers in stables, leaving them unable to make purchases or leave. Recently, the parasitic bug that was causing the behavior was identified and eradicated. To encourage travelers to come back to the stables, stable owners offered gold nuggets to come customize your horse’s appearance. Many cowpokes were apprehensive about returning to the stables. “I have been needing a new saddle, but been trapped so many times I wasn’t keen on it happening again,” said one cowpoke, “but I went in, got my saddle, got gold nuggets, and I left.” Several other cowpokes confirmed that the stables appeared safe again.
Some cowpokes refused to take the risk, even when they saw others come out of the stables unharmed. “At the height of the stable problems, some folks still managed to get in and out,” said one cowpoke, “so maybe it’s just that, some folks know how to get out, but I ain’t taking the risk again.” Stable owners confirmed that stable visits are on the rise, though not as fast as they like. “I suspect it will be awhile,” said one stable owner, “but eventually they will need something and return and see its safe.” There has also been an increase in horses being brought into the Five States in anticipation of high demand now that stables are safe to use again.
Hawaiian Opera House shows first motion picture
By Frederick Vannesse
The latest entertainment technology is the motion picture. Though few in number, there is now a growing number of motion pictures available. The Hawaiian Opera House will join that growing number when they play their first motion picture this week. Audiences are fascinated with the new technology and the way they can view worlds beyond their own front door. Those championing the new technology say that within two to three decades motion pictures will be readily available to anyone who wishes to see them. “One day, motion pictures will be the premiere form of entertainment,” said one promotor, “books and imagination are fine, but why do the work, let us make imagination become real while sit back and enjoy the ride!” I spoke to a gentleman who lives near a motion picture house who said, “opened about a year ago, haven’t read a book since, can you believe it?” The Hawaiian Opera House expects are large turnout for their first motion picture and are hopeful future motion pictures will provide entertainment for locals for years to come.
As British invasion in Africa continues, news of former conquest is exposed
By Ivy Seager
One year ago British forces invaded Benin City. The Kingdom of Benin had managed to maintain its independence for much of the scramble to claim parts of Africa by European nations. However, unbeknownst to the world, British forces invaded the Kingdom of Benin. British troops sacked the city of Benin, ending the Kingdom’s independence. Following the capture of Benin City, the Kingdom of Benin has been absorbed in Nigeria, the nation established by British forces. Though the British government tried to keep the conquering quiet, they are not denying the new reports. The British government has released a statement saying they were not attempting to keep the conquering of the Benin Kingdom quiet, but had no reason to provide such information to potential enemies.
The Five States Herald 