Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Four cowpokes claim to have seen Jessica LeClerk in Blackwater
By Lucien Privitt
Four gunslingers claimed to come across Jessica LeClerk this week, however, the story had plenty of holes in it. “This fella came into my office with his friends saying LeClerk was involved in a shoot out,” said Blackwater Chief of Police Oswald Dunbar, “but if there had been a shoot out I certainly would have known.” As the group gave more details, it became increasingly clear they could not have witnessed what they did. “He said, clear as day, that he saw LeClerk shoot Amos Lancing,” said Chief Dunbar, “which of course is impossible because Amos Lancing has been dead for months.” Despite the fact that the shoot out they described had taken place over a year ago, the group was sure of what they saw.
“I haven’t been in the Five States long, and never heard of this Lancing fella until I helped that LeClerk woman,” said the leader of the gang, who asked not to be named out of concern he would be ostracized for his story, “and I never read no news about such a shoot out, I don’t know how else to explain it but I experienced that damn shoot out myself.” Though the group was shocked when they were confronted with old stories, indeed stories from this very paper, about the shoot out. Every bit of the details matched up with what this group of cowpokes claimed to have experienced. Dr. W. Bishop, a specialist in parallel worlds, had this to say, “I believe that there are multiple worlds, multiple timelines, all moving at their own speed and not necessarily simultaneously.” He explained that the Blackwater shoot out has likely occurred many times in many worlds. “I suspect the shoot out has occurred at least as many times as there are people in the Five States!” Dr. Bishop said, “though why some timelines are ahead of others, I cannot say!”
The cowpokes left Blackwater, still claiming they lived through a shoot out that was already recorded as history. “Jokes on them,” said one cowpoke who heard their claims, “they think they’ll see Mrs. LeClerk again!”
Nathaniel Cross leaves Tumbleweed, announces retirement from bounty hunting
By Jose Chavez
Nathaniel Cross, the well known bounty hunter turned masked vigilante has announced his retirement from bounty hunting. For the last year he has lived in Tumbleweed under the protection of Sheriff Sam Freeman. New Austin was the first state to issue Cross a pardon for his crimes, though he was never officially found guilty for anything he was accused of. Nor has Cross ever admitted to being the masked vigilante the Grey Cowboy.
His retirement comes as a shock, as he was still active in New Austin. In Tumbleweed, Cross is well known and one of the towns most famous residents. After announcing his retirement to the townsfolk Cross hopped on his horse and rode out of town. He did leave with a promise. “If it gets bad here, I’ll be back,” Cross said before riding off. The whereabouts of Cross now are unknown but we will update you should he be found.
Weather forecasts predicts heavy snow in Ambarino
By Jane Duran
Meteorologists are forecasting heavy snowfall in Ambarino this winter, warning travelers to be weary of the conditions. While snowfall is expected all over the Five States, in Ambarino it may be the most dangerous. “Folks already expect snow up there, so sometimes they don’t realize how deep it is after a snowfall,” said one meteorologist, “and as a result they sink, or fall and get buried in the snow only to freeze to death.” Ambarino authorities are recommending that folks limit their traveling in Ambarino. “It is our suggestion that folks conduct any business they have in Ambarino before the hits, or wait until after it is over,” said the Ambarino governor. Of course, Folks in the Five States do not typically take kindly to the suggestions of authority figures.
Man claims to have taken momentary flight before falling to the ground
By Odell Clifton
A man’s horse died this week when he said it took flight, before falling fifty feet to the ground. “I couldn’t believe it, my horse jumped and then just kept going,” the man said, “and just as fast as it flew up it crashed back down!” The man survived the fall, as did the horse initially. “My horse was a live, but seriously hurt,” the man said, “I treated the wound and gave my horse medicine, but, well, I couldn’t get to the stable to get more care.” The closest stable was unable to treat the horse, as like other stables across the Five States, it was not seeing customers. “I got into the stable but I was ignored, I couldn’t get help and I couldn’t get out!,” the man said. Eventually the horse died in the stable.
Nobody could explain how the horse flew, but it was clear based on the injury that it fell from a great distance. “I saw the horse after it died,” said a veterinarian, “the break was more than you’d expect from a normal fall, the leg appeared shattered, but I can’t say the horse flew, it ain’t a reindeer.” The man was later arrested after throwing fire bombs at the stable in an attempt to burn it down. “I understand he was frustrated, but you can’t set places on fire like that,” said the arresting lawman. He posted bail later that day.
German Princes Attempts Overthrow of Empire!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
The German Empire has been politically and militarily quite important since its inception in 1871. Many think the next great war will probably include them; they are among the most powerful empires in Europe today. What nobody expected, was that the greatest threat to its rule would be from within, not abroad.
Today, in the early morning hours, across the empire, people were being dragged out of their houses. Some, still in nighttime attire, from almost every major region in Germany. What was the cause of these mass arrests? Simply put, treason, of the highest order.
It appears that for some time, a minor member of the German royal family, a prince Heinrich of the Reuss, had been planning to overthrow Kaiser Wilhelm II and crown himself. He intended to do it with a motley collection of low-lives, military officers who wanted a stronger rule, police who wanted less oversight, politicians who wanted to pay less in taxes, and those who felt Wilhelm took orders from Jews.
Of course, such planning wasn’t discreet, and the military high command found out quickly. Heinrich is already under arrest and will probably be tried promptly. All this has done is make an already paranoid empire more fearful, a recipe that cannot yield good results.
Brawlers unite against Valentine lawmen
By Donna Deshner
Two cowpokes got into a fight in Smithfield’s Saloon this week when they crossed paths, one exiting and one entering the saloon. The cowpokes got into a violent fist fight, quickly moving all over the saloon and bumping into other saloon goers. Valentine deputies responded to the altercation with extreme violence of their own. Witnesses reported the deputy entered the saloon with guns blazing. “I couldn’t believe it, I just heard a gunshot and saw a deputy at the door,” a witness said. It is unclear if either of the two brawlers were hit, but witnesses believe that at least one person was struck by a bullet. The fighters rolled onto the floor, before eventually standing back up. However, they did not fight each other.
The two men looked at each other and then shrugged, before pulling out their guns and killing the lawman. The two former enemies then joined forces and fought their way through the next wave of lawmen. Sheriff Curtis Malloy said that the two brawlers were unidentified, however, he said they were no longer a threat. “The two men fled the town once my deputies went after them,” Sheriff Malloy said, “as far as I am concerned, they did their job.” Sheriff Malloy also spoke out against reports that lawmen were killed during the altercation. “Their job is dangerous,” Sheriff Malloy admitted, “but I started this morning with the same amount of deputies as yesterday morning.” Witness are certain that more than one deputy died, however, have looking at Sheriff Malloy’s payroll, it shows everyone still alive. Either way, nobody else was reported harmed during the brief shootout.
Flying man inures dock worker
By Emeline Vickroy
The morning train came with a surprise for one dock worker when a passenger jumped off of it while it was still moving. Witnesses were shocked when they saw the man jump off the train and were even more shocked when he landed on a nearby walking dock worker. The worker, Jonathan Pokette, was returning from their break when the flying passenger landed on him. “I never expected such a thing,” Mr. Pokette said, “and never saw it coming, just felt him land on me.” Mr. Pokette described hearing several cracks and pain in his chest, but tried to go back to work all the same. His boss, Mr. Murray Dickerson said, “Pokette ain’t a great worker and I noticed he was working less hard than usual, so I sent him home because he was just getting in the way, docked his pay as well!”
Mr. Pokette visited the Saint Denis doctor and was diagnosed with at least two broken ribs. The doctor said there was nothing he could do aside from prescribing bed rest. Unfortunately for Mr. Pokette, Mr. Dickerson was not patient enough to wait for Mr. Pokette to heal up. Mr. Pokette was fired immediately upon informing his boss of the need for bed rest.
Diaries Reach Record Sales!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
There’s something special about writing your own life story, one day at a time. Only you know yourself truly; everything you write is from the heart. Perhaps it’s the desire to one day know the future will remember you, or that you shall never forget what has transpired in the past. Regardless of intent, many Americans are buying diaries at a rapid clip.
Sundry and general store shops are struggling to keep these simple writing books in stock; from farm girls to businessmen, they are all just buying them whenever possible. It begs the question, why are they so popular? As previously stated, the art of being a diarist has an appeal, but what is compelling so many to take it up?
Perhaps it’s because many of our fathers fought in the great Civil War, and a diary was the only thing that kept some going. To those children, it feels like a family tradition that needs to be carried on. But I think the most likely reason, is the year. 1898, almost the end of a long century, clearly a soon-to-be-remembered event. Where were you when the clock struck midnight will doubtlessly be a common question, and it’s a constant reminder time keeps on marching. I think, many are already nostalgic and want to hold onto the past as long as they can, and through ink, they certainly shall.
Inclusive fraternity founded in New York
By Frederick Vannesse
The Delta Sigma Phi fraternity was founded in New York’s City College this week. While fraternities are not new, this one is the first to be founded on the ideals of religious and ethnic acceptance. “At Delta Sigma Phi, we want every man to feel accepted, regardless of their ethnic or religious background,” the fraternity founder stated. The move is a response to fraternities often being isolated, rejecting people from certain backgrounds even if they could be a good fit. “We don’t care about where you are from, we care about who you are,” the founders said. Many hope other fraternities will follow the example of Delta Sigma Phi and open such inclusive fraternities across the nation.
British forces repelled by Boer militia
By Ivy Seager
Scattered reports are coming in that state that British forces were defeated by Boer irregulars this week. The battle took place in Stormberg, South Africa. Following the hijacking of an armored train, British forces rallied to recover its captured people and materials. However, the defeat sent British forces into full retreat. While the British government has not officially confirmed the defeat, my source is very reliable. My source indicated that British forces meant to converge on Boer forces were separated and delayed. When British forces arrived in Stormberg, Boer forces had already secured key defensive positions. British forces attempted to overtake the area anyway but failed miserably. Though the defeat was humiliating, the British forces are regrouping and preparing for another attack.
The Five States Herald 