Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Peabody Estate Provides Food to Five States Poor!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
To the many citizens of the Five States a week ago, the name George Peabody probably meant little. Was he someone important or just someone who made people’s lives harder? Was that the name of an American or a British citizen? Well, the answer to the first is firmly positive; the second is both, actually. He was born in America but also lived in Britain, he was a rich influential man, but he had a big heart. He died decades ago, but his estate still does his work of helping the less fortunate.
Many citizens from Tumbleweed to Saint-Denis woke up this morning to find a large turkey sitting on the front door, either killed and ready to eat, or still alive and ready to be killed. It was a gift, a Thanksgiving present from the humbled spirit of a man nearly 30 years dead. Almost overnight, people began cheering his name, not knowing he could not hear the kind words.
Much has been written about the evils of industrialists, and they are mostly true, but for some reason, this one seemed to value empathy and profit, and not just profit. What makes a man like that? I dare say we shall never know; we just can see what the results are.
Bonus meant to preserve justice fails to meet expectations
By Alois Burditt
The bounty hunter program has largely been considered a major success. Immediately after it was initiated there was a steep decline in crime. The decline would not last. Several captured outlaws managed to free themselves, either through illegal breakouts or hiring very skilled attorneys. These outlaws went back to their old ways and so bounty hunters began capturing the same outlaws over and over. Some bounty hunters started opting for a last resort as their primary option. “In the last year we have seen an increase in dead bounties,” said Sheriff Sam Freeman, “and so I agreed to join other states in offering bonuses for bringing ’em in alive, better for law and justice, you know?” Unfortunately, several bounty hunters have claimed the bonuses are not being paid out everywhere.
“I took a living bounty to Armadillo, sheriff said thanks and paid me the normal fee,” said one bounty hunter, “he did not pay me the bonus I earned, however.” It is unclear why some places are paying out these bonuses and others are not. Another bounty hunter said they experienced this as well, but only with bounties accepted at a bounty board. “There are other wanted outlaws out there that aren’t in the top three most wanted in a region, so they don’t make the bounty board,” said a bounty hunter, “but others are out there in the wild, still wanted but not as high of a priority, I get bonuses for those outlaws.” Several bounty hunters have learned this trick and stopped reporting to bounty boards altogether, instead, tracking outlaws that are considered not as dangerous. “This is a problem, you see,” said one lawman, “because now ain’t nobody capturing the ones that actually need the capturing!”
Gang holed up in Grizzlies East is no more
By Jane Duran
For over a week several residents have reported an increase in ambushes in the northeastern region of the Five States. The frequency of ambushes has been particularly high just north of O’Creagh’s Run, a common route taken through Ambarino when headed toward Annesburg. Authorities believed the increase in ambushes in this area was the result of Annesburg being the closest dock for traders in the region. “Several folks travel through the Grizzlies to get to Annesburg,” said an Annesburg lawman, “we ain’t got much here but we have a dock and the means to ship goods down the Lannahechee.”
The reports of the increased ambushes led to several gunslingers patrolling the area and searching for clues to locate the outlaws’ base of operations. One posse of gunslingers succeeded, locating the base of operations far north of the road, north of even the train tracks. “They were way in the remote areas of Ambarino,” said one of the gunslingers, “but they weren’t far enough because we found them.” The gunslingers turned the outlaws’ game around on them, ambushing them by nightfall. “It didn’t take long,” one of the gunslingers said, “though it may have felt like forever for them.” The group left no survivors but collected as much as they could from the carcasses of the outlaws. The goods were delivered to Annesburg, where victims can claim any belongings that may have been recovered.
Possible bootlegger gunfight in the Great Plains
By Odell Clifton
Several witnesses reported a gunfight taking place in the Great Plains, not far from Blackwater. Authorities said that witnesses started coming to the Police Department describing an attack on a single wagon being driven by a woman. While there was no certainty that the woman was a bootlegger, witnesses who saw the wagon said they noticed bottles in the back. Though the bottles could be filled with a variety of different liquids, one witness claimed to have heard the woman shout, “you ain’t getting my ‘shine!” Blackwater authorities opted to not pursue the matter. Blackwater Chief of Police Oswald Dunbar said, “it seemed more likely than not this was about untaxed liquor, which is a federal issue.” When asked about bystanders potentially being harmed, Chief Dunbar replied, “when a bystander gets harmed, come find me.” A patrol went into the Great Plains hours later to see if the fight was still going. They came across half a dozen dead bodies spread out in the Great Plains, several shot by a high caliber round, likely a sniper rifle. The alleged bootlegger was nowhere to be seen.
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Investigators: Travel the Five States and report on what is going on.
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Can also do all three!
Investigation into Elysian Pool halted
By Van R. Seldon
Over a year ago private investigators began looking into the Elysian Pool. The region is plagued with poisoned fish and mangy animals unseen anywhere else in the Five States. Official authorities refused to get involved, but did not prevent the investigation immediately. However, state authorities have now ended the investigation. No official reason was provided, but a firm warning was given that any further investigation will have severe consequences. The nearby cave has been deemed unsafe and people are told to avoid the region. An official announcement stated: ‘for the safety of Five States residents, it is forbidden to enter the cave near the Elysian Pool. Keep away under penalty of arrest.’
Private investigators have expressed their frustrations with the announcement. “They know we are on to something,” said private investigator Luz Iden, “and the samples I sent to be analyzed have been confiscated, so all we have now is speculation.” That speculation is that mining in the nearby cave led to poisons entering the nearby lake. With the samples confiscated by the government and the results now unknown, it is impossible to prove that the mining mishaps led to the poison plaguing the Elysian Pool. While some investigators have vowed to continue their investigation, it will be severely hampered going forward.
Torturer thwarted and killed in Rhodes
By Emeline Vickroy
Several witnesses reported an attack and attempted murder by a “mad woman.” According to witnesses, the woman hogtied a man and then taunted him. Passersby hurried to get past the woman and her victim. Witnesses described the situation as troubling but harmless. “I figured she ain’t really attacking him or anything, so he was probably okay,” said one witness. However, the ‘playful’ attack turned deadly when the woman lifted the hogtied man and tossed him into the horse water trough. Several witnesses were shocked and gasped as the man began struggling to breathe. Before the man drowned, however, the woman yanked him out.
“I suppose to her it was a game,” said a witness, “she was laughing, but he wasn’t.” The man managed to free himself from the rope that bound him and fought back against the woman. The woman laughed and taunted, throwing punches. The man, however, was done with games and pulled out his side arm, shooting and killing the woman. The killing was determined to be self defense, so the man was not arrested.
Individual Shops for Opposite Gender Items in Saint-Denis!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
It is often remarked that people in the west are less judgmental than those who dwell in the east. That we express ourselves more, have more rights, and gossip less. Well, having lived here long enough, I would say it’s not entirely true, although there’s a curdle to it. We do express ourselves quite a bit with what we buy and wear, and, in some ways, you have more jobs available, but we gossip even more than in New York.
Take, for example, the big story going through Saint-Denis. A man went shopping in the wealthier parts of the city, but he wasn’t buying men’s clothing. He bought fancy hats, corsets, heeled boots, and many dresses. Nobody refused to sell; profit is profit, after all, but of course glances were exchanged, and whispers were said. Was he buying them for a wife? Was this something he intended to wear for himself? If so, why?
It is not my place to say what someone should be doing with what they buy, so long as you aren’t killing someone with it. I doubt someone is about to be clubbed to death with a heeled boot. But lord above, do we like to gossip in these states if anything is out of place. Does any of this matter? Probably not, yet some do think it matters, and I suppose that is the greater issue.
Abduction or tour of the Five States?
By Lucien Privitt
Authorities were alerted to a missing person this week. The people reporting the missing person said they left their friend in the Bastille Saloon in Saint Denis and returned to find him missing. Witnesses said someone else came by and carried the man off over his shoulder. The bartender explained this was not terribly unusual. “This is a saloon and so folks get drunk,” the bartender said, “often a friend carries them off and look, I ain’t got the time to recognize who is with who every night.” The abductor was described as having long hair, brown skin, and rifles on his back. The description was not enough for police to investigate. Eventually, the missing man was returned, his story, however, is not so harrowing.
“Abducted? I guess,” the man said, “but it was more like a surprise tour!” He described his abductor as kind, offering him a unique tour across the Five States. “I never got their name, but I understood the kind of person they were to take the time out of their life to take me to so many amazing places!” they said. The man refused to provide any descriptive information about this abductor, saying, “I don’t want any harm to come to that nice gentleman!” While this story turned out fine and everyone made it home safe, it is important to remember that not all abductions end peacefully. Authorities recommend a sawed off shotgun for such times. “Don’t need to be a good shot, just press the damn barrel into the abductor’s chest,” said one lawman. Abductions have been on the rise in the Five States, something authorities have not been able to explain. It is good to see one abduction end so positively.
Hundreds killed in snowstorm
By Frederick Vannesse
A snowstorm hit the northeast United States hard this week. In some places the temperature was low enough that snow was turned into ice. Visibility was impossible, yet many still left their homes but even more were caught outside by surprise. “The storm kind of formed out of nowhere,” said a meteorologist, “folks caught in it or foolish enough to go outside in the storm faced deadly consequences.” As of now, several hundred people are confirmed dead, as high as 206 people. Hundreds more are missing. Search parties formed early in the storm, but were unable to actually conduct any searches given the weather conditions. Now that the storm has died down the search parties are combing the area looking for survivors. “We ain’t optimistic, most folks couldn’t survive being out here for a few days in that kind of weather,” said one of the searchers. As of this writing, the search continues.
Fighting begins in Cape Colony, South Africa
By Ivy Seager
For over a month British forces have moved into South Africa for what were called peacekeeping missions. However, the tensions have escalated in South Africa. The Boers have not responded positively to the increase in forces in South Africa. Last week they ambushed an armored train, capturing the British forces along with a press correspondent. This week fighting in Cape Colony began, with British forces outnumbering Boer forces 3 to 1. While it has not been confirmed, the British attack is believed to be in retaliation for the captured train. Whatever the reason, peacekeeping looks a lot like war making.
The Five States Herald 