Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
It is Naturalist Month!
By Adam Parvey
For weeks, naturalists in the Five States have complained about not getting credit for samples they have taken. It is unclear why samples are not being credited to naturalists. Some say that it is the result of a new evaluator hired by Harriet Davenport, who oversees naturalist activity in the Five States. Miss Davenport, unfortunately refused to comment because I had run over a squirrel on my way to her tent. To make up for this problem that remains unresolved, the powers that be in the Five States announced November as Naturalist Month. During the entire month, all samples and naturalist related tasks will receive three times the credit as usual. Authorities are hoping that this satisfies full time naturalists while also drawing new cowpokes to the job. “In November, we hope to bring about a non-violent approach to living with animals,” said the organizer of the month long event, “we hope that all residents and travelers take time to appreciate life in all its forms and refuse to kill or eat any animal all month long!”
The event, however, has not excited everyone. “I’m hunter,” said a cowpoke, “I hunt and I ain’t gonna stop.” A man of few words, he was firm in his desire to continue hunting. Indeed, there are others like him who make a living hunting and selling animals products. Such folks are unlikely to stop doing what they are doing. “I could stop,” said one trader, “I have enough to cash to live out the rest of my days in peace but then I’d be bored, so I hunt.” Miss Davenport said, “I know some will never be civilized, one day they’ll be hunted and we’ll see if they like it!”
Federal government taking new look at establishing law and order in New Austin
By Wylie Frey
Following another embarrassment for the Bureau of Internal Revenue, the federal government is looking to crack down on outlaw activity in New Austin. Just recently, revenue agents were ambushed by the Del Lobo gang as they were attempting to bring down moonshiners. This is not the first embarrassment for the Bureau, which has had a poor enforcement record in addition to a revolving door of leaders. The Bureau remains officially leaderless after every agent promoted to lead the Bureau was assassinated. What makes this particular embarassment different is that the federeal governemnt sees a potential resolution.
“In other cases, it’s locals or unidentified assailants harassing revenuers,” said my source, wishing to remain unnamed, “but this time they know it was the Del Lobo, that’s a real target they can attack.” The Del Lobo gang has operated in New Austin for years and has even conflicted with the federal government in the past. When Fort Mercer was maintained by the U.S. military, they frequently had run ins with Del Lobo gang members. Though those altercations were short lived and heavily favored the U.S. military. The federal government is now considering military action in the area, though officials in New Austin are against the idea. “New Austin is a sovereign state and we will deal with the Del Lobos,” said a spokesman for the state’s governor, “we don’t need the feds trampling people in New Austin.” This tension between levels of government is all that is holding the federal government from acting. The New Austin Rangers have promised a full investigation into Del Lobo activities.
Cowpoke nearly dies when ran off the road by own friend
By Delphia Atwood
A cowpoke rode into Valentine this week looking to be in a bad way. They were slumped over their horse, barely conscious. The horse was also limping, suggesting the horse and rider had been hurt together. The local stable took care of the horse and reported there was no significant damage. “It was a little bruised,” said a stablehand, “but just needs a bit of rest and relaxation.” The rider, on the other hand, was much worse off. “One leg was broken,” said the Valentine doctor, “and they were severely dehydrated.” After a few days the rider spoke and explained what happened. “My friend and I, we were riding in Ambarino,” the rider said, “when I heard them get closer and bump me.”
The rider explained they lost control at that point and went down the mountain. “All I could think of was my poor horse,” the rider said, “I am glad they were okay.” They did not remember mounting their horse and riding into Valentine. “The last thing I remember was looking up at my friend and then it was all black,” the rider said. The town doctor said they will be fine after another week’s rest.
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Can also do all three!
Daughter Rediscovers Father After Death!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
We always wonder what the world afterlife holds for us. We also ponder what loved ones think of us after they cross over, if they watch us still and if they care. A young girl in Blackwater went through all of it recently.
Daisy was her name, like the lovely flower. Her dad had died over a decade ago, saving her life from criminals in an act that cost him his own life. Daisy never knew him, just that he died protecting her. Her mother is no longer around; nobody seems to have known him well. Daisy never knew his personality, or what he liked to do; he was less a person and more an idea.
While cleaning the house one fine evening, she found what looked like a letter behind a book. She soon found out it was a letter her father had written in happier times. It was a loving pledge to always be there for her, from cradle to school, to always care no matter what she did. To share a drink in time, and to teach her how to design a ship.
In the days since, Daisy has been seen spending time at her father’s grave, if not talking to it, then smiling; her papa wasn’t a mere idea or a dusty photo frame, he was a human being, and he still cares about her.
Good Samaritan saves man in Valentine
By Donna Deshner
A man arrived in Valentine this week and immediately attacked another cowpoke. Witnesses say that the attack was unprovoked. “He just came up and hogtied a man,” the witness said, “and was about to kill him.” It was not deputies who reacted quickly and saved the victim’s life, however, it was another stranger. “A fella stepped off his horse and effortlessly pulled out his pistol and shot the man,” another witness explained “only needed the one shot and the attacker was dead.” The good Samaritan then untied the victim, freeing them from the situation.
“It’s good to have folks helping folks,” said Valentine Sheriff Curtis Malloy, “Valentine has such a violent reputation, so it’s good to have positive stories once in a while.” The stranger visited the saloon, enjoying a drink before riding off. “Wouldn’t take a reward,” said the victim, “wouldn’t even tell me their name.” The good Samaritan rode out of town without speaking to anybody else or explaining why they were in Valentine in the first place.
Mystery Aboard Ocean liner!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
A ship arrived in Saint-Denis this week, and alongside it came a near-bottomless number of questions without much of an answer. To start off with, it was the SS Oceania, a vessel that was expected to be complete in 1899, next year. The ship was half full to capacity, yet the number of tickets bought was the maximum.
When passengers and crew alike were interviewed, it only got stranger. They all claimed it was 1899! That the ship had been in a terrible storm and some people had been lost at sea, yet the ship had no sign of water damage, and nobody could name the people who had died.
Strangest of all, were unexplained noises in the cargo hold and some passenger quarters. Reported shouts and cries of help and mercy were heard, yet no humans were found making these pleas. Questions of time vortexes, demonic creations, and spirits of the dead have appeared in various papers, but we won’t repeat such claims. Even still, it’s hard not to take a long look at the story surrounding the Oceania, and not just scratch your head in confusion.
Residents petition shops in the Five States: stop clothing discrimination
By Lucien Privitt
Residents have a new complaint, well, a sort of new complaint. For years residents have expressed frustration with the limited availability of clothing items in stores. Certain hats and clothing items appear only available through import stores or other means unavailable to travelers. “Not a day goes by when I ride through Saint Denis that i don’t think, ‘man I wish I could buy that hat,'” said one traveler, remarking that such hats are unavailable through the Wheeler, Rawson, and Co. catalogue used in the Five States. In recent days, with less and less support going into the Five States, the frustration of residents has increased dramatically. “I understand there are better investments, but these hats and coats exist already, right?” said one frustrated cowpoke, “it can’t be that hard to make them available to us through a common catalogue.” The items in question are not of custom make, as identical items are seen on many residents. They just remain unavailable to those without permanent residency.
“How is it that because I cannot buy a home here I cannot buy certain hats?” one cowpoke asked in shock, “it makes no sense!” “It’s almost like they don’t want our money!” another cowpoke said, “I’d spend so much on this and while I am at it, if I have to be a permanent resident first I’d love to buy a home here!” I spoke to folks at the Wheeler, Rawson, and Co. catalogue, but they provided no comment as to why some items are not available. As of now, there are no plans to make such items available either.
Heavyweight Champion retains title in long fight
By Rutherford X. Downing
Defending champion James Jeffries had his work cut out for him this week when his fight with Tom Sharkey went 25 rounds. The Irishman Sharkey came to fight, having an answer for everything Jeffries threw at him. Likewise, Jeffries had a counter for Sharkey at every moment. Fight fans cheered and booed as the fight went back and forth. Finally, in the 25th round, Jeffries got the better of Sharkey and landed several big hits. The referee finally stopped the right, announcing Jeffries as the winner. Sharkey fans had nothing co complain about, as they all got to witness a great fight, one that will be talked about for years to come. Already there is discussion of a rematch.
Charles Dupuy forms French government, again
By Ivy Seager
For the third time, Charles Dupuy has formed the controlling party coalition to rule over France. Dupuy was well liked by workers, given his progressive leadership during his second reign as Prime Minister. In 1894, Dupuy pushed through reforms that provided social insurance fund for miners welfare and retirement. Mining is often a dangerous job, with few making it to retirement age. Of course, it is difficult to reach retirement age when you have to continue working just to survive well into old age. The social insurance provided a way out for miners looking to move on. Dupuy was elected to serve as Prime Minister a third time on the 1st of November. He has already established his cabinet and only time will tell what policy goals he will have for his third term.
The Five States Herald 