Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
George Frederick Bristow Passes Away!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
With heavy heart, I must sadly announce that the famed composer George Bristow has died at age 73. He was a music connoisseur, composing grand music compositions on topics ranging from folk stories to tragic disasters. He was also well known for his firmly held opinions regarding classical music in the United States, views that led to arguments with other composers like William Henry Fly.
Among his most notable pieces was an overture concerning the famous folk story of Rip Van Winkle, the man who slept for 20 years. It was described as embodying the curiosity of what the future can hold, and the sadness of lost time in the present.
He also wrote a memorable piece dedicated to the paddlewheel steamer Alpina, lost on Lake Michigan in 1880 with at least 80 lives. The disaster would almost certainly have been forgotten without the mournful flourishes written by Bristow. The victim’s families to this day still thank him for this piece, and he, on many occasions, said it was his best work.
Church bells in Michigan are expected to chime 81 times next week. It is an honor that could not be more appropriate for this magnificent composer.
Travelers caught crossing the border by gang members
By Wylie Frey
A man who barely survived a return into the Five States says that the Del Lobo gang killed his friends. The man, who asked not to be named, said he and his posse had managed to get into Mexico. However, they attempted to swim back across into the Five States. The swim back was not what they expected. Del Lobo gang members had allegedly stood along the shore. “I could tell they were gang members and I know the Del Lobo are big in that area,” the man said, “but they claimed they were federal officers, but they didn’t look like it.” When the posse refused to comply with the orders of the alleged Del Lobo gang members gave them, the gang started shooting. “We had no choice to but swim back into the river,” the man admitted. After a panicked underwater swim, he surfaced down river and managed to get ashore. None of his friends survived. Authorities say they will investigate the case, though the man will have to meet with them and provide identifying information, something he is hesitant to do.
Ambarino is not far enough to escape justice
By Delphia Atwood
This story comes from a tale told by a bounty hunter in Smithfield’s Saloon, in Valentine. As he told the story, he had a man tied up on the floor next to him. The man, who was wanted for various crimes including murder, had holed up in Ambarino. The bounty hunter captured the man but made the mistake of traveling over a frozen lake. The ice broke, sending the bounty hunter, their horse, and the bounty flying. The bounty hunter and horse managed to swim out of the water while the bounty had fortunately been thrown onto solid ground.
“That’s when it got real intense,” the bounty hunter said, “he started fighting back with his arms still tied up!” The bounty hunter threw fists while dodging shoulder strikes. The bounty almost escaped when his underlings arrived, however, the bounty hunter dealt them before returning his target and knocking him out. The rest of the trip to Valentine was uneventful. After several beers and repeatedly telling of his story, the bounty hunter took the target to the sheriff’s office.
Revenuers arrive in Strawberry to investigate alleged moonshine operation
By Daisy Fairman
Mayor Nicholas Timmins has both decried and praised the investigation. “I am both insulted and pleased that the Bureau of Internal Revenue would come to my humble town to investigate,” said Mayor Timmins, “insulted by the accusation that we have alcohol here and pleased, because I await their confirmation that Strawberry is a dry town and family friendly vacation destination.”
The revenue agents have mostly keep to themselves, asking few questions of the townsfolk. “I had a few snooping in my shop,” said Chip Cooper, who runs the general store in Strawberry, “but they won’t find anything illegal in my shop.” Revenuers have traveled in and out of Strawberry since setting up shop in town as they search the mountain roads for moonshine equipment and bootleggers. The townsfolk have expressed discontent over the agents. “I don’t care about anyone drinking alcohol or not,” said one resident, “I do care an awful lot about not be hassled by uppity federal agents. Mayor Timmins has promised full cooperation.
Annesburg Sheriff Department closed at inopportune time
By Donna Deshner
A bounty hunter has filed a complaint with the Annesburg Sheriff Department, alleging they lost out one a bounty payment as a result of the Department’s actions. The bounty hunter in questioned arrived with a wanted man only to be unable to enter the sheriff’s office. “The damn door was locked,” the bounty hunter said, “I couldn’t shove the damn thing open.” He screamed and hollered for several minutes before realizing night was coming and the time limit on the bounty was about to expire. “I rode as fast as I could to Saint Denis,” the bounty hunter explained, “but I didn’t make it in time.” The official complaint states that the bounty hunter is looking for compensation in the amount of $50, to pay for the lost bounty, equipment, and lost time.
Musician flees Saint Denis in fear
By Emeline Vickroy
Despite being the most modern city with the largest police force in the Five States, Saint Denis is no stranger to violence. Rooftop snipers are a common scene with outlaws seeking to rack up more kills than their predecessors. The violence is not even limited to the poorer parts of the city. This week, a local musician was reminded of that. The musician was well known by residents. He often played near the town tailor, accepting donations from passersby. A gunfight broke out nearby and according to witnesses, the musician was instantly spooked and fled the scene. “He ran as fast as his legs could carry him,” one witness laughed, “shame, I’ll miss his music if he don’t come back.”
It is unknown if the musician will return, as he was unable to be located for an interview. He was last running west, instrument in hand. There has been no report of him arriving in Rhodes either. A fellow musician who said he knows the man said he had not heard from him. Saint Denis may very well be down one musician.
Animal population in decline
By Adam Parvey
The animal populations in the Five States have experienced ups and downs. Every decline is followed by a massive conservation effort that restores animal populations. The population explosions lead to more hunters trying to get in on the animal trade, which leads to another decline in animal populations. Today, we are in a significant decline. Several hunters have reported riding for hours in the wilderness, far away from civilization, and seeing not a single animal. “It ain’t just the big ones like deer missing,” said one hunter, “I ain’t seen a rabbit in a long while either.” Naturalists have also noted the decline in animals. Naturally, they blame hunters. “Too many people hunting animals,” said one naturalist, “not enough time for animals to repopulate.” Hunters, however, blame the naturalists. “They look down on us for making a living and surviving,” said one hunter, “but that whole sedation and needle poking thing spooks the animals, so they probably are running from them.”
Hunters and conservationists have failed to work together on a solution. Congress has rejected several bills that would require hunting licenses. Likewise, the state legislatures that make up the governing bodies in the Five States have declined to enact hunting licenses despite pressure from conservationists.
Lawn mowing is about to get easier
By Frederick Vannesse
John Burr was born in Maryland in 1848 to parents who were slaves. Mr. Burr’s parents eventually earned their freedom while Mr. Burr began looking for ways to improve his primary chore: mowing the lawn. Mr. Burr wanted to improve the lawn mower, a device used to keep one’s lawn well manicured. Though Mr. Burr is not just a natural talent, but well supported by his community. His natural aptitude was noticed early on and wealthy Black activists paid to send Mr. Burr to school. Mr. Burr put that education to use.
The common push mower is used by teenagers all over the U.S.. A gently back and forth push motion is all that is needed. Mr. Burr’s invention, a new rotary blade, makes the process easier. With less energy required to push the mower, the process is more efficient. Now that the patent is approved, the new rotary blade lawn mowers should hit the market within the year.
Castilians Wanted Across Spain!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
For many, the age of monarchy feels like it’s reaching an endpoint. Social progress continues to advance, and the aging royal families in old stone castles feel archaic and outdated. Perhaps they will slowly fall one by one in the coming years, or maybe they shall persevere. Even if they do end, there’s still money and power to be made from them.
Countless castles dot the lands in Spain, from elegant palaces in significant cities to crumbling old ruins in isolated areas. It is the latter that is receiving attention. City mayors and local politicians working on behalf of King Alfonso XIII had a proposition. He is willing to pay individuals to come and rebuild these old castles; in exchange, they may become Castilians, owners of these new castles. Nationality does not matter; even Americans are welcome despite the recent brawl in Cuba.
Some already say this is highway robbery; you work in a ruin and maybe become an owner? The pay is not remotely worth the labor cost. But plenty have already accepted, for the chance to be wealthy and powerful, is enough to convince them it’s worth it. Gloria to them, for this will either be a rich reward, or a plague upon them.
The Five States Herald 