Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Five States law enforcement unable to get a hold on violence
By Adam Parvey
Residents across the Five States have found themselves in their local sheriff department or police department far more often than in the past. These residents are not breaking the law themselves, but reporting on lawbreakers. For months, violence has been on the rise and it has shown no sign of slowing down. New residents and old residents alike have taken part in violent activity. From blowing up wagons full of trade goods or moonshine to randomly shooting passersby, it has never been more dangerous in the Five States as it is today. Law enforcement agencies in all five of the Five States have expressed difficulty dealing with the violence. “We make arrests, hell, we shoot murders on sight,” said on lawman, “but more come and, you may think I’m crazy, but sometimes it’s the same folks we already killed!” The lawman was unable to explain how a dead man came back from the grave, but several lawmen have told similar stories of seeing dead men come back to life to break another law.
The federal government has considered reinforcing state law enforcement agencies. However, local and state authorities have been hesitant to accept the strings attached to federal money. “They want to have a hand in our hiring and policies,” said one local sheriff who asked not to be named, “and I’m thinking I just want the money, I already got the no how.” Federal intervention into state affairs is not entirely new, as the Bureau of Internal Revenue has been active in the Five States for years now. Though their scope is limited and such a partnership as described to combat rising crime would be much more intrusive, impacting hirings, firings, policies, and potentially local laws.
Texas Rangers increase border patrols
By Wylie Frey
Word of illegal border crossings has continued to spread in the Five States. The increase in border crossings has led to a partnership between the Texas Rangers and the federal government. Both the federal government and the Texas Rangers have attempted border patrols, however, they have both clearly failed. Individuals have been able to easily make it from the Five States into Mexico and back with ease. The federal government announced the partnership, committing to providing funding as well as weapons to the Texas Rangers.
Some were surprised to hear the news given that the Texas Rangers have been hostile toward the federal government in the past. The Texas Rangers’ office announced, “though the federal government has been overzealous when infringing states’ rights, but in border patrol, we are aligned in upholding the law.” The two forces believe they will stamp out illegal immigration between the Five States and Mexico.
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Bird shooting contest goes awry
By Caylen V. Hornby
A group of friends found themselves in a jail cell after a bird shooting contest turned friends into enemies. The three men were placed in separate cells as they would not stop fighting. The Ambarino Rangers that came across the posse had to knock them out before taking them in. “I heard several shots and so I investigated,” the Ambarino Ranger said, “there were piles of birds around the clearing and they were arguing about who shot more.” The Ranger was prepared to leave when one of the men aimed his gun at another and fired. The other two quickly took cover as their friend fell dead at their other friend’s hand.
The Ranger was not alone, fortunately, and so they flanked the group and managed to hogtie the shooter. The other two still alive grew agitated, aiming their weapons at the Ranger. The second Ranger had managed to get in a flanking position and knocked out one of the men, leading the other to give up. He was knocked out as well. The three men were taken to Annesburg to stay in the night in jail there before being transferred to Sisika. The deceased’s body was left in Annesburg, where it will be delivered by train to the dead man’s family.
Forgotten Hero in Blackwater Remembered!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Few people remember the sinking of the SS Phoenix in 1847. It was a paddlewheel steamer on the Great Lakes that caught fire from a kerosene lamp. It was unimaginably awful; as many as 190 out of 300 people died in agony. But it could have been far worse, all thanks to one heroic woman.
Her name was Helen Richeza. She was a Bohemian nurse; she had no education yet got hired to work in a hospital anyway. She was on the Phoenix that terrible day, and she claimed to be just doing her best. Everyone who survived said she did anything but her best.
She pulled people out of fire-covered rooms, threw out chairs and life preservers, and dragged drowning victims to the shore. What could have been 270 or 250 deaths was almost single-handedly reduced by this one humble lady.
She was never recognized by any official for her heroic actions. She was okay with that, she never liked the spotlight, but it meant that her actions went down unremembered. She got married, moved out west, had children, and lived her life. She settled down in Blackwater; everyone there knew her as just a kindly older woman. She died a couple of years back in 1892, known by few but well respected. Only after the funeral were old crumbling letters found in a trunk; she stayed in contact with people she saved from the Phoenix. She never forgot the lives she saved.
Her grave was tragically knocked down in a storm last year, and nobody can recall where it once stood. But her actions are better understood now; Blackwater will forever cherish this unsung hero of American History.
Indian kills attacker in self defense
By Donna Deshner
An Indian was minding their own business, sitting on a building, when another cowpoke attacked them. The cowpoke threw a lasso toward the Indian, wrapping the rope around him and pulling him off of the building. Being partially tied up prevented him from attempting to break the fall, resulting in a hard landing on the ground. Witnesses were stunned at the attack. The Indian survived the fall and attempted to walk away from the situation but the attacking cowpoke pursued him. He followed the Indian and kicked him. The Indian had enough at that point and fought back, shooting the man in the head.
A deputy witnessed it and shrugged, stating, “this was clearly a case of self defense, now someone, dispose of the fool’s body!” Nobody was quick to remove the body so a couple of deputies dragged the body and dropped it outside of the town limits. The Indian resumed his sitting, this time on a bench instead of on a roof. No further incident was reported. Authorities do not believe the man was targeted because he was an Indian, but because the attacker was bored. “Most folks around here don’t have a problem with the Indians,” a deputy said, “but quite a few gunslingers seem to have a problem with everybody.” As things go, this was a rather peaceful incident. At least, this time, only the bad guy died.
The Tale of the Cynic!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
You will find many homeless people in the streets of Saint-Denis, stories too numerous to repeat here. One notable individual is constantly moving around, sometimes near a tavern, sometimes near the market. Nobody knows his name; everyone just calls him The Cynic.
He claims to be a historian, and that might be true. A few people claim to know him, saying he was a respected man once, but he fell out of favor for one reason or another and eventually ended up the way he is. He’s called The Cynic because he says he is merely following the lead set by Diogenes, the original Cynic from ancient Greece.
He has been living on the streets for years. Despite the squalor, he seems pretty content with his life, just drinking and occasionally arguing with pedestrians. He always seems to have enough money for booze, or perhaps he steals them from rich folks.
If you stumble across him, he’s pretty easy to talk to. All one needs is some alcohol, and he’ll talk your ear off for hours under what he calls a “drunk chat.” One barber once talked with The Cynic for nine hours purely because he had nothing else to do.
He is a strange man, but he’s charming in a pitiful kind of way. Perhaps that’s why he’s remained here for so long; some people might genuinely miss him.
Saloon “pop ups” stealing brick and mortal saloon business
By Lucien Privitt
The Bureau of Internal Revenue has failed over the years to reduce moonshine production and distribution in the Five States. We are just now seeing the results of the Bureau’s failures. Several homes across the Five States have turned into temporary saloons. In other cases, a wagon “pops up” somewhere and they start selling moonshine right out of the wagon. The moonshine is reportedly better tasing than what is available in saloons and cheaper. In some cases, these pop up wagons give away the moonshine by the bottle. Local saloon owners have complained to local law enforcement. Local law enforcement, however, has said no laws are being broken and so their hands are tied. Some saloon owners have offered free drinks of their own, to customers willing to destroy the competing moonshine.
Local law enforcement has focused on keeping the peace, as that does fall within laws they can enforce. The Bureau of Internal Revenue claims it is doing all it can to combat untaxed moonshine. While the Bureau does not care for local conflicts with saloon operators, it does want to ensure the federal government gets its fair share. For the time being, the untaxed liquor and violence that surrounds it will continue.
Volunteer Army Act remains in effect
By Frederick Vannesse
The Spanish-American War started with a literal bang and ended just as suddenly. The U.S. Navy put its power on full display, defeating the Spanish Navy in a short time. To ensure there would be enough soldiers for the war, Congress passed the Volunteer Army Act calling for volunteers to fill the U.S. Cavalry. Though the pressing need for cavalry has ended, the Volunteer Army Act will not be repealed. “There may very well remain a need for a rapid increase of cavalrymen,” said a spokesman, “so it is best to leave the law in effect, just in case.” Some worry that the ‘just in case’ is just an excuse to maintain a ready military at all times. The U.S. Army said that such an allegation is unfounded.
British government announces victory in the Sudan
By Ivy Seager
Following the capture of the Sudanese leader Khalifa Abdallahi ibn Muhammad, the British government is claiming victory in the region. All information coming from the Sudan indicates that the British claim is not just a boast. The rebel forces were largely captured or killed in the last battle. Those that are still at large have attempted a few attacks to free their captured leader, but the attacks only led to more dead rebels. The British military has not announced how long it will keep forces in the Sudan, but it expects that hostilities will be on the decline.
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