Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Man arrested for attempted murder
A cowpoke walked up to another, and according to witnesses sized him up. The scene was quite tense until the cowpoke reached under his jacket. In that moment, the other cowpoke pulled out a sawed off shotgun and shot the man in the chest. Witnesses were shocked by the sudden attack but reasonably assumed it was self defense. However, the impact made a strange sound: the shattering of glass and the clang of a broken camera. The shooting victim fell over, grunting in pain and dropped a broken camera on the ground. The man had simply wanted to photograph the stranger and paid for it with a shotgun blast to the chest.
The man was only slightly wounded, as the camera took the blunt of the shot. He did require some medical help, however. Once bandaged he was arrested. The victim did not press charges and the shooter was allowed to leave. “I, well, you see, I didn’t enjoy being shot,” the victim said, “buy it was an accident and I can’t say I approached him in the best way, either!” The cameraman vowed to be more obvious and have his camera out before approaching a potential photograph target.
Fight over a boat ends in two men arrested
By Alois Burditt
Two cowpokes got into a fist fight over a boat before pulling out weapons and firing on each other. Both men took cover and continued to fire blind shots back and forth. Unfortunately for the two men, New Austin Rangers were patrolling the New Austin border along along the San Luis River. The lawmen fired several warning shots to get the cowpokes attention and once the pair stopped firing, they threw down their weapons. Both men surrendered to the New Austin Rangers and we taken into custody. Neither man was willing to explain why they were fighting over the boat, only that it was the only boat in the area.
The Rangers that apprehended the man said their actions were reckless. “These men could have very easily shot an innocent feller,” one Ranger said, “they had no idea the danger they were creating to shoot at each other for no damn reason!” As no actual harm was done, the legal charges were limited to causing a public nuisance. The men were both held in jail for a night and released with a promise to return to court at a later date.
Sloth of bears causing trouble in Ambarino
By Jane Duran
Ambarino Rangers have confirmed that a large sloth, or group, of bears is reeking havoc in Ambarino. Several reports were made to the Rangers’ office. Bears typically are solitary animals, though do gather for mating purposes. Experts are not sure what has caused this gathering of bears, but they are certain it is not mating. “It isn’t quite mating season,” said one expert, “though it is close, so they may be gathering early.” Several hunters have reported encountering the bears, though many more likely encountered them but did not survive to tell the tale. Some reports indicate that the sloth of bears revolves around a rare golden spirit bear. This has led experts to suggest the spirit bear is drawing other bears to it. “Many females likely see the golden spirit bear as an ideal mate,” an expert said, “so they compete for its affection.” Ambarino Rangers recommend caution and avoiding any area that shows signs of bears. Authorities are looking to put a bounty on the bears to make the area safer for travelers.
Beloved Union General Writes Back!!!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
We’ve all written letters to people we admire; I sure did to a few first ladies. One man in Blackwater, however, grew up admiring one man, and he hoped the man would write back.
Oliver is a young man in Blackwater; his father fought in the Civil War under Union General Cornelius Palmer. His father survived the war and always claimed the general had saved his life once in battle. Oliver always wanted to thank General Palmer for keeping his father alive, so when he was four years old. He wrote a letter to the general. This was in the year 1881; Palmer sadly passed away in 1885. He never wrote back; this broke Oliver’s heart in more ways than words can describe.
Which is why he was shocked to receive a letter this morning from General Palmer! The letter came with another letter, written by his wife, Mary. She said Palmer had received the letter and happily wrote a reply, but it got lost and was never correctly sent. Mary, by chance, found the letter and sent it, hoping Oliver would hear back. The letter was short but heartfelt, happy that a child got to grow up with a father. Sometimes life throws you a bone, and it’s just as sweet as you wish.
Van Horn massacre puts Valentine violence to shame
By Donna Deshner
New Hanover state police are investigating a massacre in Van Horn. Nearly everyone in the town was killed in a shootout said to have lasted over an hour. How the fight started is unknown as none of the surviving witnesses saw the beginning of the fight. “I heard gunshots and looked out the window,” said one witness, “saw a commotion near the saloon but couldn’t tell you what it was about.” The ‘commotion’ quickly spread as other Van Horn residents headed to the saloon. The saloon owner survived, but said the commotion started outside of his establishment. “I know folks are quick to blame these things on libations,” the saloon owner said, “but it didn’t start in my saloon, though my patrons were quick to join the fight.” What started as a fist fight quickly became a gunfight.
New Hanover state police responded after a survivor rode to Annesburg and reported the crime. The town sheriff notified the state police via telegram. The shooting had ended by the time the state police arrived. Witnesses were interviewed by the state lawmen, but they provided little information that could be used. Witnesses were also cagey when discussing the story for this paper, offering only vague descriptions of what happened. No names were provided to lawmen or to me. State lawmen vowed to investigate, though it is unlikely it will be a fruitful investigation. Over half of the town was killed and their bodies removed, several others were injured. Survivors say that the town will survive and endure, as it always has.
Meat Pies in Saint-Denis?
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Walk around the market in Saint-Denis, and you will hear many voices shouting many wares. As of late, a new distinctive voice can be heard, crying out a new type of food.
She goes by the name Sydney, no surname given. She claims to be from Wales, although some claim her accent sounds a bit more English. One day, she appeared off the docks and claimed to be a talented chef. She brags that her specialty is meat pies.
Almost from the day she started cooking those pies, the line to get some hasn’t stopped forming. What’s in the meat? Nobody knows; it just seems to be addictively tasty. Like other aspects of her story, some have questioned where she gets the meat, which brings up a laundry list of sinister explanations. Not least of which is the classic trick of cannibalism, as seen in countless penny dreadfuls.
What do I think? I know those dime novels are trash and frequently have little in relation to reality, but even I do wonder how a popular meat pie maker comes out of nowhere and takes over a corner of a city so quickly.
Man arrested for attempted bank robbery
By Lucien Privitt
The Valentine Bank opened to a surprise: a man locked inside. The bankers quicker went to the Valentine Sheriff and two deputies assisted the bankers in removing the man. “He offered no resistance when he saw us with the bankers,” said one of the deputies, “threw his hands up and said he surrendered.” The man claimed that he had no intention to rob the bank. Indeed, he had been in the bank overnight but nothing had been tempered with or removed. According to the man, he was locked inside the bank by someone else. “I, I was busy um.. well.. minding my own business, yes, I wasn’t shooting nobody, just walking along,” the man said, “when I was attacked, yes, attacked and tied up and thrown into the bank!”
The banker manager opted to press charges despite the man’s claims. “We can’t give folks the idea that staying the night at the bank is acceptable,” the manager said, “if you are in the bank and not authorized, you will be arrested.” The man was held in the Valentine jail before being transferred to Sisika Penitentiary. He faces charges of breaking and entering along with attempted robbery of the bank. “He says he took nothing, but we ain’t charging him for successfully robbing the bank, are we?” said state lawmen who took custody of him. He is expected to serve a minimum of 2 years in prison.
Second Boston Marathon to be held this week
By Frederick Vannesse
Last year the first ever Boston Marathon was held following the return of the marathon at the 1986 Olympic games. The marathon event was so successful that the first Boston Marathon was organized last year. The second Boston Marathon will be held this week. Runners have been preparing for the marathon for several weeks now. Most of the participants are local, but a few have come from across the nation and even a couple of runners are from around the globe. Runners compete for a wreath made of olive branches and the pride of winning the endurance race. Organizers believe the marathon will be just as successful as last year, if not more so.
A naval law, the first of its kind, was passed in Germany
By Ivy Seager
It has become increasingly clear that naval forces are becoming more important in international conflicts. Recent wars in the once Spanish controlled islands have shown the power of naval fleets. Germany has recently enacted specific laws that outline the future of its naval composition. The law also outlines funds being made available for the purpose of building the fleet. Germany’s goal is to have the fleet complete by 1904. Such a fleet will enable Germany to be a player in international relations by flexing a powerful navy. While unconfirmed, it is likely other nations will begin ramping up navel production.
The Five States Herald 