Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Man survives explosive gunshot
By Lucien Privitt
In another story of the unexpected, a man survived a gunshot to the chest. The shot is even more shocking given that the gunshot was an explosive round. The man rode into the middle of a gunfight and before he was able to react he was shot. Witnesses to the fight said he went down quick, with an explosion going off. However, moments later he stood back up. The gunfight came to a momentary pause when the man stood up, a gaping hole in his chest. The wounded man then went to action, reigniting the gunfight by shooting the man that shot him. Witnesses say the gunfight continued for a few more minutes until one group fled. The man with the chest wound was tended to, but despite the massive hole in their chest they were relatively healthy. They boarded a wagon and were taken to Blackwater, where the town doctor examined him. The doctor said he was the very model of health, despite the wound. “If he wasn’t bleeding through a gaping hole in the chest, I’d swear he was a healthy man,” said the Blackwater doctor, “I cleaned the wound as best I could and bandaged him.” The man is expected to be on bed rest for several months.
As shocking as the incident was, it is not the most unbelievable shooting, if you believe other reports. Many cowpokes have reported completely beheading people with a shotgun blast only to watch the headless victim continue walking around. Such occasions are unexplainable, though many have written them off as lies. “Folks are just making things up, trying to get in the papers,” said one resident, “or they are bad shots who missed just lying to make themselves feel better.” Another, however, said it is just good faith reports that happen to be wrong. “I think fellers see a headless person after they just shot them,” said one resident, “but it’s just the stress of the fight and a trick of the light.” Whatever the explanation this gaping chest wound was photographed and so we know it is not just a made up story or panic induced hallucination. Dear readers, we promise to investigate this phenomena and provide an in depth report in a future issue of this paper.
Large alligator claims Stillwater Creek as its home
By Wylie Frey
Hunters that frequent Stillwater Creek were surprised when the amount of boars in the area dropped considerably. “Stillwater is a nice place to hunt boars, get animal fat and some pork,” said a hunter, “but I noticed less and less boars in the area.” Eventually, the cause of the reduced boards was located: a massive albino alligator. It is believed that the alligator migrated across Flat Iron Lake from Lemoyne. As the boar population was irradiated by the beast, it got more aggressive toward passing humans. Trade routes were forced to take detours across the Lower Montana River.
The MacFarlanes, who run the nearby ranch, put a bounty out for the beast. “We rely on the boar meat for food,” said one of the hands, “and the farm relies on the trade routes for income.” Several gunslingers attempted to cash in the bounty only to be killed in their attempt. The well known alligator hunter Akanowa was contracted after multiple failures. She took a few days to study the beast and then succeeded in killing it. How she killed the beast she would not reveal, but she disposed of the remains herself. Since then, trade routes have returned to normal and the boar population is slowly rising.
Rescued from a cold death
By Jane Duran
Owen Roy was in a desperate situation when he was rescued by a complete stranger last week. Mr. Roy had been captured by a group of outlaws and held as a ransom. “Of all places, these foul bastards took me to Colter, fucking Colter!” he said. The man has been staying in Saint Denis for a few weeks before heading to northen West Elizabeth. He lives east of the Lannahechee River and decided to travel west for a vacation from his day to day routine. “I found Saint Denis to be pleasant, but I did not find a sense of adventure there,” the man said, “so I set out further west.”
It was while on this adventure that Mr. Roy was captured. “I had been observing some deer, truly magnificent beasts,” Mr. Roy said, “but I put my binoculars down to see I was surrounded.” He was taken to Colter but he overheard one gang member talk about heading to a station to send a telegraph to demand ransom for Mr. Roy. “I, well, my family is decently wealthy,” Mr. Roy admitted, “I told the ruffians as much, told them I’d pay them handsomely if they left me alone.” They did not leave him alone and instead, stole the money he had on him and attempted to get a ransom for more. Their plans were thwarted when a stranger rode by Colter and noticed the hostage situation. “I just heard gunshots and when it was over, a feller unties me and took me to Strawberry,” Mr. Roy said. There, he rested and arranged an escort back to Saint Denis. “I think I’ve had my fill of adventure,” Mr. Roy said, “but Saint Denis is a nice middle ground between old and new, strange and familiar, I think I’ll stay there awhile.”
Indians save hunter in Tall Trees
By Daisy Fairman
The fate of the Indian people, who once roamed this land, has been a mystery. The Wapiti tribe that called much of the Five States their home have long been missing. Individual Indians have been spotted from time to time, but no evidence of an entire tribe has been found. This week, a hunter said he spotted a small group of Indians. He noticed at least three. “I saw them and immediately knew I had to be careful, didn’t wanna end up dead, you now,” the hunter said. However, while he was back pedaling to escape the area he stopped on a snake, which bit him. He screamed and thought he was dead. “I felt the poison going through me already,” the hunter said. Before he realized it, however, the Indians were standing above him.
“I was a bit shocked but, one put his mouth on the bite and sucked the poison out,” the hunter said, “then dressed the wound and gave me some kind of medicine.” The hunter said his opinion on the Indians was changed. “I thought they were a threat, but turns out they are just fellas like you and I,” the hunter said, “maybe better, not sure I’d have sucked poison from a strangers leg!” All traces of the Indians were gone, however, when the hunter returned to the area. “I wanted to find them and thank them, pay them even, for their help,” the hunter said. Though he gave up the search soon, realizing the best gift he can offer them is to simply leave them alone.
Pepperbox Pistol Invades Five States!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
The reported underhanded selling of unique firearms by shady merchants continues day after day. These weapons are being used in gangland slayings, attempted robberies, and most notably, card games. In the past seven days, at least 25 unique instances of violence occurred at a poker table in the Five States. Some of the weapons included oddities like The Duckfoot, a three-barrel pistol that functions like a shotgun, and several pocket revolvers. But the most common is a device known as a pepperbox.
The pepperbox is a multi-barrel pistol, similar to a shrunken, Gatling gun. Pulling back the hammer rotates the barrel, which can hold anywhere between 6 and 10 rounds. It’s easy to conceal, and the barrel detaches with minimal effort. The bullets aren’t very large, and it’s highly inaccurate, but if you’re close enough, it essentially doesn’t matter.
People in Blackwater and Valentine are paranoid about playing a hand of poker, less a disgruntled individual pulls one of these pepperboxes. Law enforcement doesn’t know what to do outside of searching every single person who wants to play a hand, but nobody has time to do that. There just isn’t a solution in sight for this menace of a gun.
Valentine stunt shocks and amazes residents
By Donna Deshner
The unassuming sheep town Valentine is the type of place that keeps residents on their toes. Nearly every day a stranger rides in and shoots the town up. A good day in Valentine means a day with just a few fist fights. This week, residents were genuinely shocked. They were not shocked by how many bodies were left behind after a gunfight or about how many people participate in a saloon brawl. They were shocked because above everyone’s head was a man on a horse standing on a roof. Residents began talking amongst themselves trying to figure out how the many got his horse on a roof. For his part, the man remained quiet. “I don’t know why, but the man just would not reveal his damn secrets!” said one resident, “and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure it out.”
Horse riding experts also confessed bewilderment. “Horses can jump higher than most folks realize,” said one expert, “but no horse can clear a building in a single bound to land on top of it.” When a posse of outlaws rode into town the man took advantage of the distraction and left. For the next couple of days folks could be seen trying to get their own horses onto the roof. The attempts finally ended after one resident fell off a second story balcony, severely injuring their horse. After the horse was put down others decided it was not worth the risk.
Horse race ends in dramatic fashion
By Emeline Vickoy
An unsanctioned horse race in Lemoyne delighted fans this week. Two racers led the pack the entire time, neck and neck with each other. As they came to the final leg of the race, things got a bit odd. A racer who knew they could not win opted to disrupt the rest of the racers. He sprinted in reverse, running against the rest of the racers. Several racers were forced off course, but the real drama hit as the final two leaders reached the finish line. The disruptor nearly collided with the leader, forcing him to turn hard to the left. A move he never recovered from.
The hard turn left took the horse racing toward a fence, which it promptly leaped over. While the leap saved the horse from injury, it took the lead racer out of the race. The racer in second place was able to take advantage, having dodged the disrupting racer, they sprinted to the finish line. As the race was unsanctioned, there is no sporting authority to report the disruptor to. Moreover, fans seemed to enjoy the bizarre tactic, caring little for a fair race and more for the spectacle.
A day of peace
By Adam Parvey
The business interests that remain the Five States paid for a day of peace, literally. For a 24 hour period, Five States residents were asked to remain peaceful. If they could successfully avoid hostilities for the day, they would each receive gold nuggets a payment. While not everyone participated, Five States residents did comment on the day being more peaceful than usual. In fact, operator of Smithfield Saloon in Valentine said, “I never saw a more peaceful day, to be honest.” One man decided that he did not care about the gold nuggets and walked into the Bastille in Saint Denis. However, he was greeted by peaceful folks who were all armed. Facing certain death, the man opted to leave.
Of course once the 24 hour period ended, violence spiked right back up. “It’s one of those things that, well, I miss it,” said the Tumbleweed saloon operator, “but better to have enjoyed and miss than never had it at all!”
U.S. Senator To Build Airship Fleet!!!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
As large balloon-like vessels continue to grace the skies around the world, the gaze turns from peace, to war. Can these so-called airships be the next great weapon when conflict inevitably arises? One United States senator believes time is of the essence in creating a fleet of them.
Senator Comstock of Georgia has been a prominent proponent of new technology. From automatic guns to armored vehicles on land, but a roaming airship fleet is the project he is most invested in. A navy in the air will devastate any armed force, and it will be so powerful that it might convince other nations to pursue peace.
These are big claims, but there’s little evidence one way or the other to prove or disprove these notions. One of the few things that can be proven is the cost; it would be astronomical to create even a handful of airships, let alone a fleet, and maintain them. Senator Comstock says it’ll pay for itself, for Columbia always has spare funds if needed.
War from the clouds may seem like the work of a penny dreadful, but it is all but assured to happen, if not in the United States, then somewhere else.
Anglo-Egyptian capture Sudanese leader
By Ivy Seager
A short battle over the weekend proved to be decisive in the conflict in Africa. The combined English and Egyptian forces proved to be too much for the Sudanese fighters. The Sudanese leader Khalifa Abdallahi ibn Muhammad was present for the fight, commanding tens of thousands of soldiers, according to reports from English forces. Field Marshal Horatio Herbert Kitchener led the charge for the Anglo-Egyptian forces. The British forces overwhelmed the Sudanese defenders with artillery strikes before launching a direct attack.
The Sudanese forces were decimated, with a small portion of survivors retreating south. In what may be a war ending development, Khalifa Abdallahi ibn Muhammad was captured. Only time will tell if the Sudanese forces can rally without their leader or if this will be a death blow to the rebellion. British forces seem confident that this will end the war, or at least end any serious rebellion.
The Five States Herald 