
Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.

Tarot Card Readers Still Flooding Five States!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
The history of Tarot Cards is unclear, to put it mildly. Many historians believe they have been around since the Renaissance, perhaps as a fancy form of poker. Nowadays, they are strongly associated with mysticism, fate, fortune, and other abstract concepts. Do these simple cards hold the power of divination? Probably not, but many people believe so, and the Five States are increasingly seeing more card readers.
What is causing this increase in fortune tellers? We cannot say why; perhaps many just see a new market to work in. Or maybe some have heard of the mysterious Madame Nazar and also want to cash in. They take many forms; some dress formally, others more reminiscent of the Romani people in Europe like Madame Nazar.
The decks they carry also vary greatly. Some are simple black and white cards, some look like fancy poker cards with minor illustrations. Some even you could call works of art, stories are being passed around of a Tarot Card reader near Saint-Denis who has a deck with paintings of the Renaissance and beyond printed on the cards. I have seen a photo of one such card, the “death” card with the Last Day of Pompeii painted onto it. A pity such talents are being used by con artists and hucksters.

Man breaks leg jumping from the top of a building
By Alois Burditt
Tumbleweed residents watched a man climb up on top of a vacant building with growing suspense. Deputies watched with their hands on the guns, in case the man began firing on the town from the raised position. However, the suspense and caution was unwarranted as the man jumped from the building onto his horse. He was unable to stick the landing, however and immediately rolled off the horse onto the ground. Witnesses say the man then carefully placed the horse near the building and climbed up again. Like the first time, the man hit the horse on his way down but was unable to stay mounted. With his frustration growing, he tried several more times with no success. At this point, residents and deputies alike were amused at the man’s failed efforts. Thing stook a sudden turn for the worse however on the man’s final jump. Perhaps it was his anger driving him, but he jumped clean over the horse and landed awkwardly on both feet before immediately collapsing to the ground. Witnesses nearby heard a large ‘cracking’ sound followed by loud screams. “The damn fool broke his leg, “said Sheriff Sam Freeman, “broke his leg in a town with no doctor, how dumb do you have to be?” The break was clean, however, so a deputy was able to set it straight. He was then loaded onto a wagon for the long ride to Valentine to receive further medical care.


Dozens of bulls found dead and frozen in Spider Gorge
By Delphia Atwood
A traveler hiking through Ambarino stumbled upon a disturbing scene. They found dozens of bulls dead and half buried in the snow. “After a quick look around I was certain I was alone,” they said, “so I snapped this photograph of what I saw.” The photograph, shown above, reveals the shocking scene. A bovine expert traveled Spider Gorge to examine the bodies as they were and found they were completely frozen through. A few of the bodies were removed from the their frozen grave and after being thawed, it was also discovered that bulls were missing a significant amount of blood and several organs. “The incisions made to remove the organs were, well, to be perfectly honest, very precise,” the expert said, “in fact, I’ve never seen any incisions in my life.” A cause of death could not be determined and the expert said it is possible the bulls may have been alive while the organs were removed. Bulls are also not native to this area, but how they got there is also a mystery. The region has had several reports of strange activities, from really bright lights to strange humming noises. It may be a long while before anybody knows what is going on at Spider Gorge.

Blackwater defended by knife throwing woman
By Odell Clifton
An assault on Blackwater was thwarted by a woman and her skill with throwing knives. As outlaws push back against the growing expansion of civilization, several towns have been attacked by large gangs. Blackwater, a symbol of a modernizing old west, is attacked more than most. When Blackwater was attacked this week and a woman showed up to defend the town, she avoided the typical defensive positions that could leave her vulnerable to being fired on from behind. Instead, she moved through the town without ever wielding a gun, but flinging knives with such precision that gun wielding attackers fled at the sight of her. “I wouldn’t have believe it if I didn’t see it,” said one a Blackwater resident, “hell, I’m still not sure if I believe it!” The woman was described as an “absolute menace” for the outlaws. “She’d just pop up from behind a fence and then, without a sound, a man would fall dead with a knife in his eye!” said a witness. The knife throwing woman would retrieve her weapons throughout the town defense. When the attackers finally gave up and fled, the dead bodies were brought together to be burned. While many had been shot by other defenders or townsfolks, the overwhelming majority had only a single wound: a bloody eye socket where the knife had penetrated. “While I think a gun would have been more efficient, there is no denying the fear this woman put into the hearts of the attackers,” said a Blackwater policeman, “when you can’t hear what is about to kill you, well, death can be right around the corner at any moment and that is terrifying!”


Unknown Man Creates New Revolver?
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
No firearm is perfect; we all know that. Some might not have enough stopping power or not enough ammunition; it’s just how things work. Well, one unknown individual didn’t let something like that get in the way. Gunshop owner R.L. Dalton was about to close up shop last weekend, when a man walked into his Valentine store. He didn’t give a name, although Dalton believes he might have been Mexican.
The man ordered ten revolvers of various types, from double action to a Lemat. Upon buying the firearms, the man quickly put them all on the table, and began to move parts around. He took some of the firing pins and mechanisms from the double action, the shotgun and cylinder from the Lemat, and mixed them into a Cattlemen’s body. After about an hour, this Frankenstein creation was complete, and the man walked out, leaving behind all the unused parts.
This individual was reported to the local sheriff, although it’s unclear if modifying a firearm in this manner constitutes a crime. The jury is still out on that question, but the individual remains at large. Dalton himself expressed awe and almost admiration that someone managed to create a new gun with just spare parts.

“Showdown” event ends in tragedy
By Emeline Vickroy
The Braithwaite family of Lemoyne offered their property for use during a combat game. Cowpokes from across the Five States came to participate and were placed on random teams. Each team then fought against another team in a tournament. The top three scorers in each game were given a gold nugget bonus. The combat game allowed the use of both melee weapons as well as firearms. Each weapon was inspected to ensure it was using so called “safe ammunition.” The safe ammunition fired like regular ammunition, but has no actual bullet to propel. Instead, the safe ammunition fires off a small bit of cardboard. Participants who took too many shots were deemed eliminated. Some, however, took the games a bit too seriously.
“We didn’t realize it sooner because the safe ammunition makes the same noise as regular ammunition,” said organizer Anna Reed-Gutierrez. However, one participant named Alexander Baldman, killed several participants. “When some folks went down and didn’t back up we were worried,” said Reed-Gutierrez, “when we saw the blood we knew there was something wrong.” Mr. Baldman submitted his gun for examination and was shocked to learn his weapon had live ammo. “My gun was loaded by the organizers, they must have put the live ammo in it,” said Mr. Baldman, before adding, “in fact, I never even pulled the trigger, I think the gun was malfunctioning.” The investigation is ongoing and many of criticized Mr. Baldman for his cold denial of responsibility and for taking his family out for ice cream a few days after the incident.
Which horse breed is the best breed available in the Five States?
By Nick McCrary
The one question that has been asked in the Five States more than any other is this one: which horse breed is the best horse? There are as many answers to this question as there are people to ask it. Some say the best horse is the Arabian, praised for its speed and ability to make quick turns. Its temperament, however, leaves many unsatisfied. “Feels great to ride an Arabian until you cross a twig that looks remotely like a snake,” said one cowpoke, “it’s quite small too.” Many riders prefer a larger, sturdier horse to travel the Five States on. “The Shire horse ain’t very fast or agile,” said one man, “but it can plow through just about anything.” Horse temperament seemed to be the most desired trait, with many wanting a horse that shows an unreasonable amount of bravery. “My Breton is strong and not afraid of gunshots, even stomped a cougar once,” another said.
In the end, there are far too many opinions on the best horse in the Five States to include here. It would not matter anyway, because everyone knows the best horse breed happens to be the personal favorite of this writer: the Norfolk Roadster.

Malcolm Whitman wins second consecutive US Men’s Tennis Championship
By Frederick Vannesse
Malcolm Whitman had a rough start in tennis, hardly living up to the expectations of tennis followers. Last year, however, Whitman managed to win the tournament. That win, it seems, is carrying Whitman on a wave of momentum. This year, he entered the US Tennis Championship as the defending champion and favorite to win it all. The increased pressure did not phase Whitman who played a flawless tournament. Whitman beat J. Parmly Paret 6-1, 6-2, 3-6, 7-5 to secure the tournament and successfully defend his championship. During his celebration, Whitman said he does not plan to slow down soon and promised to win next year’s US Men’s Tennis Championship tournament.

Breaking: Italian composer Niccolò van Westerhout passes away
By Ivy Seager
Niccolò van Westerhout was not particularly well known, however, to those who heard his compositions say his skill was beyond many of his contemporaries. Niccolò was born in Mola di Bari, Italy. At the age of 13, Niccolò wrote an opera based on Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. Though his father had moderate success as a composer himself, the family was not in a financial position to get Niccolò a proper musical education. However, the city of Mola di Bari stepped in to help the family move to Naples, where he then enrolled at the Conservatory of San Pietro a Majella. Niccolò went on to wrote several compositions, however, most of the remain unsold during his lifetime. His family plans to sell his catalog to spread Niccolò’s music beyond Italy.
