Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
New wave of violent crime
Violence in the Five States is as sure as a sell one beans, it may not be occurring at the moment but give it some time and there will be a fight or shooting. Past waves of violence had been blamed on newcomers to the Five States who were eager to prove themselves in a place where they knew none of the unwritten rules. However, this new wave of violence appears to be different. “The perpetrators are not all newcomers, this time around,” said Valentine Sheriff Curtis Malloy. Many long time residents who were considered honorable men and women have turned to a life of chaos. And this time, newcomers are often the villains. “I… Well I had just gotten settled into the Five States and stepped foot in Valentine only to be shot at!,” said a person who had just arrived in the Five States and who wishes to remain anonymous, “I don’t want to give my attackers any reason to finish the job.” They were shot twice and only survived because they were fortunate enough to be shot in Valentine, one of the few towns with a full time doctor. Still, recovery will not be easy.
Making the problem worse is the fact that authorities in the Five States do not seem to intent on resolving this issue. “It really doesn’t matter what we do,” said Police Chief Benjamin Lambert of Sant Denis, “arresting them doesn’t hold and even killing perpetrators doesn’t seem to bring order, it’s like these agents of chaos just keep popping up out of the ground!” The best defense against such folks is to remain armed and vigilant. As one man I spoke to said, “it won’t matter much if the law ain’t paying attention, if you’re heavily armed and ready kill ain’t a wise man in the world gonna test you, just beware the fools.”
Legend of the Thunderbird Entices Hunters in New Austin!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Big game season has been winding down for a while; the luster is slowly but surely going out. One can only fight enough panthers or cougars or bears. Many of the big game hunters are leaving to go to Africa, hoping to bag a lion or an elephant, but some hunters remain. What do they hope to find? A giant bird with a wingspan the size of a train.
Most settlers and cowpokes are aware of the Thunderbird, the native legend of a flying animal so big it causes storms. Most people write it off as a mere legend born of oral traditions, but some believe it to be true. Sparked by rumors of massive bird sightings in New Austin, hunters big and small still trek those lands looking for the biggest game of all.
Just this week, some hunters found old native artwork depicting what they believe to be the Thunderbird; any sign of the creature is seen as good luck. Doubtless, weeks from now, someone will claim to have shot the beast and perhaps even photographed it. Is there any truth behind the stories? Perhaps not, but man always needs some white whale to get through the tedious monotony of life.
Van der Linde gang member spotted?
By Delphia Atwood
A traveler exploring Ambarino came across a very dangerous man. “I came up to a cabin which at first, I thought was abandoned,” said the traveler, “but I once I got closer I saw all the signs of occupation.” The traveler said a man came out of the cabin holding a revolver in each hand. The man was described a blonde and trigger happy. Before he even finished shouting a warning he fired the first shot and took cover in the cabin. “I was in quite the predicament,” the traveler said, “he missed that first shot but if I fled he’d have an easy shot to take me out.” So the traveler took cover and engaged in a gunfight. “At one point he shouted, ‘you think you can take Micah Bell alive!'” according to the traveler.
The gunfight lasted for several minutes. The traveler was able to escape by slowly walking away from the cabin while firing his guns in the cabin’s general direction. Once he was far enough away, he whistled for his horse and fled. He reported the sighting to the Strawberry Sheriff, who sent two deputies along with a posse of hunters to investigate. When they arrived, there were signs that someone had been there but no sign that Bell was still in the cabin, having likely fled. The Van der Linde gang is wanted all over the United States though their current whereabouts are unknown.
Cowpoke shocked by strange request from a stranger
By Odell Clifton
A cowpoke claims to have gotten the strangest request. A man approached him, acting very shifty. The cowpoke pulled out his pistol but the shifty man put his arms up. “He quickly said he wasn’t interested in a fight and then asked me to hogtie him!” the cowpoke said. Confused, the cowpoke tried to walk away but the shifty man persisted. “I’m not asking for much, just hogtie me and let your horse shit on me!” the shifty man said. The cowpoke was no certain the shifty man was more than shifty, but also completely out of his mind. “I decided it was best to take no action against him, seeing as he was likely to enjoy anything I did,” the cowpoke said. The shifty man persisted for a few more minutes before slumping his head and saying, “you were never gonna hogtie me, were you?” The cowpoke continued their policy of ignoring the shifty man. The shifty man finally apologized and walked away. I spoke to an alienist, who explained the request as, “that of a deranged man, likely dealing with deep trauma, who can only find satisfaction in a very specific humiliating situation.” They further described it as, “rather disturbing, but quite curious.”
Stabbing death considered self defence
By Donna Deshner
A man only recently arriving in the Five States attacked a woman in Valentine this week. The attack started when the man punched the woman’s horse. Attacking one’s horse is something of a taboo in the Five States. In fact, there are few things that cowpokes find more offensive. Many cowpokes overlook personal insults and the like but will not stand for their horse being attacked. Though the man’s punch certainly did little harm to the horse, he broke the unwritten rule and so the horse’s owner made sure he paid for his mistake. The woman’s attack at first did not go as planned, as witnesses reported the man was able to fight off her first attempt to shoot him. The two exchange a few soft strikes before the woman pulled out a knight and stabbed the man in the heart. A sheriff deputy witnessed the entire event and so no arrest was made. “Usually a court has to determine self defense, but I know what I saw and it ain’t worth arresting a woman defending her horse,” said a deputy. The man was no identified and so his body was taken to a pauper’s grave.
Police officer murdered in cold blood!
By Emeline Vickroy
A posse of bounty hunters became the witness to a murder this week, when a police officer was killed while they were turning in a bounty. “We arrived a little early and instead of turning him in immediately, we waited because we like to be inefficient like that,” said one of the bounty hunters, “and after enough time passed I grabbed the wanted man and tossed him in jail.” At the same time as he was throwing the man in jail, someone else fired a shot without warning. “I heard the shot and I turned around and saw the lawman without a head,” the bounty hunter said. Other policemen sprung into action, blowing on their whistles to alert others while looking for the killer. The bounty hunters were held for questioning, however, when no evidence was found tying any of them to the crime, they were let go with their payment. The incident has Lemoyne authorities concerned. “Look how bold the villains of the world are,” said a spokesman for the Lemoyne Governor, “to shoot a man of the law in the police station in broad daylight, what is the world coming to?”
Brewing Companies Slowly but Surely Flourish!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Alcohol, the cause and cure for most worldly problems. Most people don’t think too long about the production of it; they just pay for a drink and down it without a second thought. Those that do think probably understand that large companies in faraway cities such as New York or San Francisco produce most of the alcohol consumed in the American West. They also likely know about the illegal moonshine empire connecting the Five States in large and small outlets. But there is a third option between large company producers and ma and pas moon still.
Small type companies are popping up in the Five States, usually in small towns like Valentine and Strawberry but also in bigger cities like Blackwater. They are privately owned businesses owned by a husband and wife or a group of friends, with unique names like Brew Dogs or Buckets of Blood. They sell legal, taxed alcohol to saloons or directly at the shop, and they tend to have more flavor than big corporation alcohol, and are less likely to kill you than moonshine.
Many suppose this is the future of alcohol sales, small legal corporations with a quality taste that only becomes famous in those towns. If so, then I welcome better-brewed beer with more personality!
One year later and Prescott’s loop-de-loop proves popular among daring riders
By Frederick Vannesse
Edwin Prescott built and patented the loop-de-loop roller coaster one a year ago. The first loop-de-loop roller coaster available to the public was built on Coney Island, where visitors watched the roller coaster in disbelief. The roller coaster “ran empty” several times as onlookers wondered about the safety of going upside down. Eventually a few daring riders boarded the roller coaster and reportedly had a great time. Others soon boarded the ride. Now, after a year of service, the loop-de-loop roller coaster is one of the most popular Coney Island attractions.
The French capture Anosimena
By Ivy Seager
The country of Madagascar has been under French control since 1896, though given the size of the island nation, the word control could only be used loosely. Since the official annexation of Madagascar, the French have systematically moved through the country to take out pockets of resistance forces. This week it was reported that the French captured Anosimena, a city in the Menabe region. With the capture the French say they have strengthened their control of the region and by extension, the country as a whole.
The Five States Herald 