Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Bohemia to send Diplomat to America!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax – Lead Correspondent
Humble little Bohemia, a nation rich in culture and history dating back centuries. It is also a nation from which large swaths of immigrants are arriving in these United States, which has predictably led to confrontations and issues. As a result, Bohemia is expected to send one of its top diplomats to work out problems.
Jan Repa of Prague, often seen with his brother František, is expected to arrive in Saint-Denis in the coming weeks. The city, alongside New York and Chicago, has received the most Bohemian immigrants, and local officials are keen to avoid another incident such as what happened with the Italians a few years back. A darkly common joke among political officials has been, “We do not want to create a holiday for Jan Hus if another mass lynching occurs.” Referencing the creation of a holiday centered on Christopher Columbus after that horrific act of violence.
Repa is expected to stay in Saint-Denis for some time. He has a room booked at the Bastille Saloon and even a temporary office, not far from the police station. He is expected to have security around the clock to avoid even the possibility of something tragic occurring. Whether this will result in anything positive remains to be seen, but many, including myself, are hopeful.
Local rancher says trespassing is out of control
By Jose Chavez
The MacFarlane family of Hennigan’s Stead have raised concerns over what they call “constant trespassing” on their ranch lands. Drew MacFarlane stated that riders have been cutting straight through their property instead of using the public road, often galloping across crop fields and spooking their horses and cattle. He added that such behavior not only risks injury to the livestock but also damages fences and pastures, making day-to-day ranch work harder.
In response, the Texas Rangers have acknowledged the issue and promised to increase patrols around the ranch. They have urged travelers to respect private boundaries and warned that repeat offenders could face fines or arrest. While Drew MacFarlane said he appreciates the attention from the Rangers, he also noted that patience is wearing thin among ranch hands. He added that if riders will not stay off his land, “the land itself might just start fighting back.”
Bear hunt ends in murder charge
By Jane Duran
Two men from Strawberry set out into the Ambarino mountains, telling others they were going after a large grizzly said to be terrorizing the high passes. Only one of them returned. The survivor claimed the bear charged from the treeline and mauled his partner before he could intervene, saying he barely escaped with his own life. Lawmen organized a small party to retrieve the body, expecting a gruesome scene left by the beast.
But when the deputies examined the corpse, they quickly realized something was wrong. The dead man bore few claw marks and one bite. Nor was there much sign of bleeding. There was, however, a single bullet wound to the chest. The survivor’s story unraveled immediately, and he was placed under arrest. The theory is that the hunter killed their friend and left their body to be mauled by the bear to cover it up. One deputy was overheard saying he couldn’t believe the man “truly thought anyone would mistake a bullet hole for a bear attack.” The motive remains unclear, though the sheriff has called it “as sorry a lie as any ever told in these parts.”
Outlaw posse wiped out, save one member
By Odell Clifton
A group of cowpokes in West Elizabeth picked a loud, mean-spirited argument with a passerby along a road near Tall Trees. The passerby gave as good as they got, until the group, unwilling to let things go further in public, slipped into an old building in the words, a known hideout for their posse. From inside, they continued their jeers, confident in the safety of locked doors and familiar walls. The passerby called out that they were a new recruit sent by a trusted member of the gang, name-dropping just enough to sound convincing. After a bit of laughter and debate, one cowpoke opened the door, saying, “Alright then, let’s see if you can hold your liquor.”
What followed was a burst of gunfire that shattered the calm of the evening. Two hunters nearby rushed to the scene only to find the building silent and smoke curling from the doorway. Inside, nearly the whole posse lay dead, their cards, bottles, and guns scattered across the floor. Only one wounded man remained, pale and shaking, who told the hunters that the “new recruit” turned out to be an executioner in disguise. Before walking out, the killer reportedly said they were leaving one alive—“so the tale don’t die quiet.” No one’s seen the shooter since.
Newcomer receives surprise consolation for harrowing experience
By Donna Dehsner
A newcomer to the Five States set out on a simple journey toward Valentine, hoping to see the town that so many travelers spoke of. Somewhere along the dusty road, however, the trip took a violent turn. According to the newcomer, they encountered a man who drew a weapon without warning. Acting in self-defense, the newcomer shot him dead. Uncertain of the laws in these parts and wanting to do things properly, they rode straight into Valentine and surrendered at the sheriff’s office, explaining everything that had happened.
The sheriff listened carefully, then asked for a description of the dead man. As the details came together—the scars, the coat, the iron at his hip—the lawman’s expression changed. He fetched an old wanted poster from his desk, yellowed from age, and laid it down in front of the newcomer. The man they had killed was not just some random traveler, but it was a long-sought outlaw who had evaded capture for years, responsible for robberies, murders, and disappearances across the region.
What began as a confession turned into a reward. The newcomer received payment for the bounty, but more than that, they were granted the privileges of a seasoned resident—full access to the Wheeler, Rawson & Co. catalogue and the same privileges enjoyed by veteran frontiersmen. Word spread quickly through the territory of the newcomer who rode into Valentine thinking they were turning themselves in, only to ride out richer and more respected than most who’d been there their whole lives.
A discount prevents a fight at Saint Denis tailor
By Aloysius Levron
A sale at one of Saint Denis’ finest tailors drew crowds from all across the Five States, with travelers and locals alike eager to snatch up fine coats, vests, and hats at fair prices. The shop saw record sales that day, with lines out the door and the tailor’s assistants working nonstop to fit customers and pack purchases. It was said that the shop had not seen such business since the winter rush before the last ball season.
But with that many rough-and-tumble types packed shoulder to shoulder in one room, trouble was not far behind. An argument broke out between two men over who had laid claim to a particular jacket first, voices rising until fists seemed ready to fly. Before the scuffle could start, the tailor himself stepped in, promising a ten percent discount to both men if they would settle down and behave. The gesture worked, and the mood lightened again. By sundown, the tailor had sold nearly everything in the shop—and earned a bit of local fame for keeping peace with nothing but charm and a steady hand.
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Crustacean popularity leads to increase visits to unnamed Flat Iron Lake islands
By Nick McCrary
In recent weeks, a series of small, unnamed islands scattered across Flat Iron Lake have seen a surprising rise in visitors. Fishermen, curious travelers, and even families have begun rowing or sailing out to the islets, drawn by talk of plentiful catches and calm waters. The once quiet spots—known mostly to locals—now see camps set up along the shorelines, with fires burning late into the evening and laughter carrying across the lake.
Part of the draw has been the abundance of crustaceans found in the shallow waters. Crabs, small lobsters, and other shellfish are being hauled up in baskets and nets, leading to a surge in new dishes being served in both lakeside towns and faraway cities. Restaurants in Saint Denis, Blackwater, and even Valentine have started adding “Flat Iron crab stew” and “lake lobster pie” to their menus, claiming the taste rivals anything found on the coasts.
Despite the sudden popularity, those visiting the islands say the mood remains easygoing and welcoming. Strangers share space on the beach, trade bait and cooking tips, and often sit down together to eat what they’ve caught. Some fry their catch right there over open flames, while others pack their baskets to sell or cook at home. For now, the Flat Iron islands remain a rare thing in the Five States—busy but peaceful, and full of the simple joy that comes from a good meal shared by the water.
The Five States Herald 