Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Strange lights over the Heartland
By Ivy Seager
Residents of New Hanover and West Elizabeth are abuzz after several witnesses reported seeing strange lights hovering over the Dakota River just north of Flatneck Station late Thursday night. The lights, described as “bright orbs” and “shifting like fireflies caught in a jar,” reportedly moved against the wind and emitted a faint humming sound. At least six individuals from both sides of the river gave statements, including a railroad worker, two trappers, and a traveling preacher who claimed the lights “danced over the water like spirits called from the grave.”
Despite the skepticism of local lawmen, who chalk the sightings up to overindulgence in spirits, some townsfolk are convinced something otherworldly is afoot. One fisherman from the area claimed his boat was “pulled upstream against the current” before the lights vanished without a trace. Another swears his pocket watch stopped for several minutes.
The sighting comes just weeks after a similar report near Emerald Ranch, where farmhands spoke of lights hovering over a cornfield before vanishing into the sky. The Bureau of Investigation has declined to comment on whether it is looking into the events, but agents have been spotted in the area. For now, residents are advised to stay calm, avoid traveling alone at night, and—according to the preacher—“keep their hearts clean and their doors locked, for not all spirits come in peace.”
Cowpoke injured after jumping onto stranger’s wagon
By Jose Chavez
A cowpoke is lucky to be alive today following a daring leap from their horse to a passing wagon. The wagon was occupied by a family, being driven by the family’s patriarch who asked to not be named. His wife said that the cowpoke leaped from their horse onto the wagon and her husband acted quickly. “It was shocking of course, but my husband knew what he had to do,” she said, “he went into action and pulled out a pistol.” From near point blank range, he fired. The cowpoke saw the gun aimed their way and managed to dodge the shot.
However, the wagon was still moving and the cowpoke’s momentum sent them flying off of the wagon. The man then held the cowpoke at gunpoint as they laid on the floor, grunting in pain and the wife drove the wagon the rest of the way into Tumbleweed. Deputies came out and arrested the cowpoke for attempted robbery.
The cowpoke claims it was a misunderstanding. “They said it was some kind of challenge, a friend was watching to see if they could do it,” a deputy said, “they bet gold nuggets on it.” Hours later someone did come into town and corroborated the story and said they watched it all happen through their binoculars. The cowpoke was still charged with assault and attempted robbery.
Moonshiner busted by undercover agent
By Jane Duran
High in the misty foothills of the Grizzlies West, where snow lingers even into spring and the law rarely treads, a rustic moonshine shack operated quietly for nearly three years. Hidden beneath pine boughs and disguised as a modest hunting lodge, the shack produced potent batches of illegal spirits that made their way into taverns across the Five States from Valentine to Saint Denis. The operator, a reclusive man known only as “Old Garvey,” believed himself secure thanks to the remote location and a rotating network of loyal runners.
Looking to add a touch of comfort and luxury to his backwoods operation, Garvey made the unusual decision to hire an interior designer from Saint Denis to furnish and stylize the shack’s interior. He put out quiet inquiries through intermediaries, eventually attracting the attention of a soft-spoken man calling himself Samuel Fletcher, who claimed to specialize in “frontier rustic” designs.
Unbeknownst to Garvey, “Fletcher” was in fact Agent Silas Drew of the Bureau of Internal Revenue, working a sting operation aimed at dismantling moonshine rings operating in the more isolated northern territories. Drew spent a week at the shack, taking detailed notes under the guise of selecting wood finishes and drafting furniture layouts. Once he had enough evidence, he signaled for backup. Federal agents raided the shack at dawn two days later, arresting Garvey and two of his workers. The operation has since been shuttered, and the Bureau has filed for its seizure under federal law.
Brawl in the streets of Blackwater
By Odell Clifton
A rare heatwave scorched the boardwalks of Blackwater, turning the town’s usual buzz into a slow, sweaty crawl. Inside the local barbershop, several cowpokes, ranch hands, and railroad men queued up for a shave ahead of the weekend festivities. With only one barber who believed in perfect angles and warm towels, the line spilled out the door and onto the dusty street. The waiting men fanned themselves with hats, dabbed at their brows, and exchanged grumbles as the sun climbed higher.
Patience wore thin just after noon. A dispute over who was next, sparked by a drifter trying to skip the line, ignited a shouting match that quickly turned into a full-blown street brawl. Hats flew, punches landed, and two men tumbled through a rain barrel while others wrestled in the dirt. Chief Oswald Dunbar and a policeman arrived moments later to break it up, dragging three bloodied men off to the jailhouse. The barber, unfazed, returned to his chair, muttering that folks would not act like animals if they took better care of their whiskers.
Unprepared Valentine shooter gets trampled
By Donna Deshner
An unidentified attacker had his assault on the cattle town of Valentine ended prematurely. Witnesses say the attacker started shooting randomly while deputies took cover. “It seems that every week some feller shoots up the town and the deputies just hide,” said a Valentine resident, “what good are they if they can’t stop outlaws?” The shooter, however, ran out of ammo in his rifle and took off running. Still, the deputies remained in their hiding spots. A cowpoke traveling through the town however had other ideas.
“A woman followed him on horse back, just took off after him,” a witness said, “just sped off undeterred.” The shooter ran and at some point, through their rifle to the ground as they dodged the woman on horseback. A stablehand said the man pulled out a pistol but at that point, it was too late. “She was too close so he couldn’t get his aim right,” the stablehand said, “so he jumped to dodge but, well, she moved too.” The witness said the rider shifted her path and trampled the man as he failed to dodge.
Once the man was incapacitated deputies left their secure positions. The shooter remained alive for another two hours. The town doctor said he had multiple broken rips and a crushed sternum. “He couldn’t breathe right, you now?” the doctor said, “but they didn’t want to give him a peaceful ending so he just laid there until he stopped breathing completely.” The woman who trampled him had already left town, though deputies said it was a justified homicide.
Buccaneer Gun Recovered from Burning Building!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax – Lead Correspondent
After much hard work, Saint-Denis police had to make an unfortunate announcement: a house near the Bastille saloon that caught fire in the night could not be recovered or restored. The owner, a Mrs. White, was quite sullen. It seemed like the entire event was just a long write-off, a lovely house turned to nothing, until a few men discovered something interesting.
Under the rumble, a little below the house, was a musket. The weapon was measured to be over five feet longer, far larger than Civil War-era muskets. The weapon had some faint intricate designs along the barrel, depicting European hunting. A local historian was called to examine the weapon, and after much deliberation, concluded it was from the 17th century and was likely a Buccaneer Gun. These were large hunting rifles frequently used by the Buccaneers in the 17th century, many were discarded or lost over time, but this one was somehow preserved under the house.
Without skipping a beat, Mrs. White went to the market and put the gun up for auction. It has not yet been sold at the time of this writing, but it is rumored to be going for as much as 1,000 dollars. People just love pirate-related items, and the Five States are no different.
Body of third Baker Brother washes up on south of Van Horn
By Adam Parvey
Eli Baker is dead. A body that washed on the shore was identified as Eli Baker. The body was reported early this week and federal investigators collected it for examination. While the body was bloated and disfigured, there were items on his person that identified him. One of those items was a letter that was barely legible due to water damage. But it was clearly addressed to Eli Baker and of the visible text a line provided the exact location of Seth Baker, the youngest Baker brother who was held in custody at Sisika. Who sent the letter was unable to be determined. The revolver found in his holster also had his name inscribed into the handle. Eli and Charlie Baker staged an attempted breakout of their brother Seth. All three brothers had recently escaped custody when a prison transport boat was ambushed. But Seth got himself arrested soon after while attempting to use counterfeit money to purchase rifles. During the failed breakout of Seth, Charlie was shot and captured alive. He is recovering in Sisika.
Eli had managed to escape, though authorities believed he was in fact dead. “No boat left the island that night so we knew he could not have escaped,” said one guard, “and we searched the island thoroughly and he was nowhere to be found.” At the time of the failed escape it was unclear if Eli had been shot but an examination of his body showed no bullet wounds. It was determined that he likely panicked and thought he could swim to freedom. At some point, however, Eli Baker likely ran out of energy and drowned in the river. Charlie and Seth will remain in custody and face additional charges for breaking out of police custody and Charlie will face additional charges related to his failed assault on Sisika.
The Five States Herald 