Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Otherworldly Creature Reported in New Hanover!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax – Lead Correspondent
Last year, a book was released about a fictional invasion from Mars that will attempt to stomp out all human life in the name of claiming a new home. It was chilling, thrilling, but fictional. Some citizens of the Five States believe otherwise.
On a moonless night two weeks ago, a farmer in New Hanover named Thomas Ferrier claimed he was stargazing when something fell to Earth. It landed near a clump of trees, not far from some of his cow pens.
Upon reaching the location, he claims it was a cylinder-like creation that was somehow ice-cold to touch. He was turning around when it opened, and out crawled a fish-like creation with many arms and a face. Ferrier ran to get his shotgun, but when he returned, it was already gone. The next morning, local farmers could not find anything in the trees besides a small crater.
Neighbors are doubtful of the claim; they saw nor heard anything that night, and Ferrier is a known drunk. Still, some locals in Valentine are leaning into it, claiming to sell Martian meat for a reasonable price. I shall skip the mockery, true or not, I look up at the sky each night, and I wonder, oh I wonder.
Gunslinger’s ghosts seen in New Austin
By Jose Chavez
Reports out of New Austin claim that the infamous gunslinger and gambler Doc Holliday was recently spotted in Armadillo, much to the disbelief of locals who know their history. Holliday, a legend of the frontier and veteran of the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral, passed away from tuberculosis in 1887, more than a decade ago. Yet several witnesses swore they saw him stride down Main Street with his trademark mustache, revolver at his hip, and an unhealthy cough that rattled through the dry air. Some whisper it was his ghost, drawn back to the desert he once roamed, while others believe it to be nothing more than a case of mistaken identity fueled by tall tales and strong drink.
Adding to the confusion, accounts of the mysterious figure vary wildly. A few bystanders insisted it truly was Holliday, alive or otherwise, while others claimed it was simply an unknown drifter with a resemblance to the legend. One witness even remarked, “that feller ain’t Doc Holliday, it’s Val Kilmer!” His companions shook their heads, admitting they had never heard of such a man. Whether ghost, doppelgänger, or the invention of imaginative minds, the sighting of Doc Holliday in New Austin has left locals equal parts entertained and unsettled.
Naturalist learns the cost of survival
By Jane Duran
A naturalist traveling the snowy peaks of Ambarino was nearly buried alive when a small avalanche swept across his camp, injuring him and leaving him stranded in the wilderness. With limited supplies and unable to move far in his weakened state, he resorted to shooting a pair of rabbits for food, surviving several days on the meager meat until his strength slowly returned. Once able, he managed the difficult hike south, eventually staggering into Strawberry where townsfolk offered aid.
Though his ordeal might have been seen as a triumph of survival, the man has since expressed a peculiar regret. Known for his strong convictions against harming wildlife, he admitted to being deeply troubled by the necessity of killing the rabbits, even while acknowledging they had saved his life. Locals described him as haunted and withdrawn, muttering about the “weight of survival” as though the price of living through the avalanche was far heavier than the snow that nearly buried him.
Demand for canned goods at record high!
By Odell Clifton
Canned goods are disappearing at a startling pace from the shelves of the Blackwater General Store, with locals buying up nearly every tin in sight. From beans to salted meats, demand has surged so sharply that the store’s clerks can hardly keep pace with the restocking. No clear explanation has emerged for the sudden rush, but the behavior has set the town abuzz with speculation.
Some residents believe it to be simple prudence, while others are convinced it signals preparation for something far more ominous. Talk of doomsday has begun to spread through saloons and street corners alike, with even level-headed citizens admitting the rush feels unusual. For now, the only certainty is that Blackwater’s shelves are bare, and its people are left to wonder just what calamity their neighbors believe is on the horizon.
Federal agents and local lawmen collide in Valentine
By Emery Cosberry
Valentine was thrown into turmoil when federal revenue agents swarmed into town this week, marching straight into Keane’s Saloon and demanding to see receipts for recent alcohol purchases. The agents accused owner Ned Keane of buying untaxed moonshine, a charge he flatly denied. Tempers flared when the agents attempted to arrest him on the spot, only for Valentine’s own lawmen to step in, declaring that the federal government had no authority to meddle in their town’s affairs.
The tense standoff ended without violence, but the matter is far from resolved. The agents left Valentine swearing they would return, while townsfolk voiced both support for Keane and concern about what a renewed federal presence might mean for business and daily life. For now, Keane’s Saloon continues to serve drinks as usual, though a cloud of uncertainty lingers over Valentine, with many wondering if the next visit from Washington’s men will bring a heavier hand.
Campers saved by a pair of gunslinging cowpokes
By Mathilde Orry
A quiet evening of camping along the shores of Flat Iron Lake, just outside Rhodes, was shattered when a group of outlaws descended upon a family’s campsite. The attackers fired into the air and demanded valuables, sending the campers scrambling for cover. What could have turned into a deadly encounter was interrupted when two passing cowpokes, riding back toward town, heard the gunfire and rushed in.
The pair drew their revolvers and charged the camp, catching the outlaws off guard. After a brief exchange of shots, the would-be robbers fled into the trees, leaving the shaken but unharmed campers behind. Witnesses later credited the two riders with saving lives, noting that the bandits seemed intent on violence. Local lawmen have promised to investigate the incident, but for now, the shores of Flat Iron Lake are quiet once more, thanks to the quick courage of two passing strangers.
The people have spoken, Strawberry the most popular town in the Five States
By Adam McCrary
A recent region-wide poll asked residents about their favorite cities and towns in the Five States. The results reveal a clear favorite. Strawberry, tucked into the hills and forests of West Elizabeth, earned the most votes by a wide margin. Respondents praised its natural beauty, the river running through its heart, and the quiet, picturesque quality of life it offers. Many described it as the perfect blend of wilderness and civilization, a place where one could still enjoy the comforts of a small town while surrounded by the grandeur of the frontier. Strawberry’s high placement in the poll is evidence that Mayor Nicholas Timmins’ efforts to revitalize Strawberry as a rural tourist attraction has been successful.
Close behind Strawberry was Blackwater, a settlement still shaking off the dust of past troubles but seen by many as the best balance between frontier charm and modern growth. Residents of the Five States pointed to its thriving businesses, forested surroundings, and proximity to both Strawberry and the Great Plains as reasons for its popularity. Valentine followed, appreciated for its central location and practical amenities, but shunned for the common breakouts of violence. Rhodes drew votes from those seeking a simpler southern life, noted for its fine saloon and skilled butcher. Even Saint Denis received mention from those who prefer the bustle of a true city, though detractors argued it was too crowded and dangerous.
Nuanced voices in the poll highlighted more secluded spots outside of official townships. Hanging Dog Ranch, cabins high in the Grizzlies, and farms near Emerald Ranch were all named by those who yearn for solitude and independence. These voters valued land to work, privacy, and the beauty of nature above the convenience of stores and saloons. Together, the poll reveals a diverse vision of frontier living: while most are drawn to small towns like Strawberry or Blackwater, a notable share still dream of carving out a homestead away from civilization’s reach. What does this poll mean in this moment of increased taming of wild lands and urbanization of the Five States? For many, disappointment.
The Five States Herald 