Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Crusade to end bounty hunting may impact the Five States more than most regions
By Adam Parvey
A growing movement in Washington is calling for the abolition of bounty hunting across the United States, citing concerns over civil liberties, unregulated violence, and a rising number of mistaken arrests. Lawmakers from more urbanized territories are proposing legislation that would outlaw the profession nationwide, arguing that it represents a bygone era of frontier justice incompatible with a modernizing nation. “We are not in the wilds anymore,” said Senator Harold Quince of Massachusetts. “Justice should come from a courtroom, not the barrel of a hired gun.”
But in the Five States, such talk has been met with derision — and defiance. From Lemoyne to New Austin, bounty hunters remain an essential part of law enforcement infrastructure, especially in vast rural stretches where local sheriffs are few and jails are farther still. “Out here, we don’t have the luxury of waiting on telegrams and red tape,” said Sheriff Sam Freeman of Tumbleweed. “When a man robs a stagecoach and disappears into the desert, it’s the bounty hunter who finds him, not some senator.”
Bounty posters still paper the walls of post offices and train depots from Saint Denis to Strawberry, offering rewards for outlaws dead or alive. Many towns rely on the work of bounty hunters to keep their streets safe and their jails from overflowing. Though critics point to cases of excessive force, mistaken identity, and even theft, supporters argue that these are rare exceptions, not the rule. “We know our targets,” said renowned bounty hunter Clara North, “and the law knows us.”
The proposed federal ban is unlikely to gain traction in the Five States, where local governments have vowed to resist any outside interference. In fact, some regions are doubling down, increasing bounty payouts and expanding wanted lists in response. Whether viewed as necessary enforcers or relics of a violent past, bounty hunters remain as embedded in the fabric of frontier justice as the rifles they carry — and they do not plan to hang up their spurs any time soon.
‘Smoking man’ kills town undertaker
By Jose Chavez
It was a quiet day in Armadillo, a town unable to escape a series of plagues and misfortunes. Locals reported a man walking own the town’s main road while smoking. No, not smoking a cigarette or cigar. They were literally smoking. “I figured I was just drunk or, maybe a bit more parched than usual,” a local said, “but others started pointing at ’em and we couldn’t all be seeing things, right?” Indeed, owner Herbert Moon saw it too, and Mr. Moon is in good health relative to most in that town. “Yes I saw him, yes he had smoke emanating from his body,” Mr. Moon said, “no, I don’t know why.” Witnesses scattered quickly however when the smoking man unexpectedly pulled out a pistol and killed the town undertaker. The smoking killer left town calmly, with the town Sheriff not even being notified of the murder until the man was long gone.
Investors flood state officials with interest in revitalization project
By Jane Duran
Plans are now coming along quickly for the revitalization of Colter, Ambarino. Though the project was only announced last week, state officials have been planning the project for months. So when multiple investors expressed interest in the project, officials were already prepared. “We had anticipated that this would be a project of great interest,” announced Glenn ‘Scout’ Loomis, a long time resident of Ambarino and head of the project. Mr. Loomis elaborated, “we are eager to work with private investors on this project to serve the public need while making a modest amount of money.” The state legislature recently passed a bill to provide funding to the project and it awaits the governor’s signature, which is expected. It is unclear how the private investors will work with the government on this project or in what ways they will be able to get a return on their investment. The plan does come with tourist attractions, along with a partial reopening of the mine. A considerable amount of the budget will be going toward this project, but it is expected to earn back three times the investment in the first year.
Revenue agent arrested for murder
By Odell Clifton
In a shocking turn of events, a revenue agent killed a man after mistaking him for a moonshiner. The man is said to have exited a cabin in Tall Trees and was greeted by the agent and his gun. According to the agent, before he could identify himself the man reached for his own handgun. “I had not choice but to shoot him or risk being shot myself,” the agent said, “so I did what any rational man would.” The cabin was believed to be a moonshiner operation, however, upon entering the cabin and searching it, agents were left unsure. “We found no evidence of a moonshining operation,” an agent said, “there was an undergrown area but appears to be simply storage.” The investigation quickly revealed details that were not good for the revenue agent. An attorney hired for the man by his spouse is filing a lawsuit against the government. “A man has a right to defend himself when on his own property,” the attorney said in the lawsuit, “to exit your home and stare down the barrel of a gun is a situation that warrants a reaction of self defense.” Though the government is not commenting on the lawsuit, it did arrest the agent while the investigation is carried out.
Bandits chased down by gunslinger
By Emery Cosberry
Several outlaws rode through Valentine and caused a significant amount of ruckus in a short amount of time. The outlaws assaulted several residents, robbed others, and even shot several people, including multiple deputies. The outlaws quickly fled the town by commandeering a freight train as it loaded up goods. Deputies fired from cover but did not pursue. “Half a dozen of my deputies were already shot, two dead,” Sheriff Curtis Malloy said, “we didn’t have the manpower to follow them.” A gunslinger who happened to get caught up in the outlaws shenanigans decided that he would follow.
The unidentified man rode out of Valentine on horse back and according to several witnesses, rode out ahead of the train. The rest of this story comes from a single witness who had the misfortune of being on the loading crew when the train was taken. “I hid, figuring I could just slip out whenever they left,” the witness said, “but then I heard a gunshot and some yelling.” One of the outlaws fell dead near the witness, who explained that at first, he was worried that there would be attention drawn to his hiding spot. “I saw a man jump off the roof of the car I was hiding in,” they said, “but he just ran straight for the front of the train.” Moments later the train came to a halt. The witness, who asked not to be named, said they finally left their hiding spot and found the outlaws dead.
“One of them fellers was laying on the coal car, throat slit,” the witness explained. When they exited they ran back to Valentine as quick as I could. “My sniper nearly shot the man, truth be told,” Sheriff Malloy said, “but he recognized him as a local farmhand.” Deputies rode out to the train and found two dead outlaws but no sign of the gunslinger that took them down. State authorities took over the investigation.
Reorganizing at Saint-Denis Library Takes Toll!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax – Lead Correspondent
Walk through a library, gaze at the many books and displays, and think for a moment. All this was done by hand; all these books needed to be organized, all of these items needed to be cataloged and recorded. Now, imagine having to go through and change the location of all of these books and items; it’s tiring just to think about. It is a reality for those who work at the library in Saint-Denis.
The library is currently going through a reorganization, the reasons for which have been kept secret, although rumors are that the library is getting a new donor and plans to expand. If that’s the case, an expansion requires all current books and displays to be recatalogued and moved elsewhere until the renovations are secure. This has been nothing short of hell on the librarians and other workers. Many of them have told me anonymously, that some plan on quitting in the near future, nothing is worth having to move endless boxes of books, some so heavy that they risk injury, for such lousy pay.
The library itself claims everything is fine and that claims of discontent are merely overblown. It would probably take being hit by a book for the people in charge to admit that not everything is rosy.
Woman Swims 500 Feet Through Frigid Waters
By Frederick Vannesse
In a remarkable display of endurance and grit, a young woman named Miss Clara Mews stunned onlookers this week by swimming an estimated 500 feet across a broad and icy stretch of the Kamassa River near Van Horn. Dressed not in bathing attire but her everyday travel dress and boots, Miss Mews reportedly dove into the river on a dare from a skeptical steamboat captain who had wagered she would not last thirty seconds.
Not only did she last — she reached the far bank, coughing and shivering, to cheers from a small crowd gathered on the dock. Witnesses described her stroke as “more determined than graceful,” with one spectator adding, “She swam like she was chasing the devil off her back.” When asked why she attempted such a feat, Miss Mews simply replied, “Men talk too much about what women can’t do. I figured I’d shut ’em up for a while.” With nothing but a warm blanket and a tin mug of whiskey to reward her efforts, Clara Mews has nevertheless become a local legend overnight — and a reminder that toughness knows no dress code.
The Five States Herald 