Dead man found in gunsmith’s spare room
By Jose Chavez
Roscoe Brenner, the Tumbleweed gunsmith, also rents out a spare room. After a couple checked in failed to check out the next day he went into the room to investigate. The woman was alive, crying and pointing at the bed, where the man lay dead. “I figured she had to have done it,” said Mr. Brenner, “so I went and got a deputy.” The woman was arrested and an investigation held. The man’s body showed no sign of injury upon first glance. “We found no injuries at all, no stab wounds, gunshot wounds, nothing,” a deputy said, “there was no blood anywhere in the room.” The man also had a look of absolute horror on his face, frozen in a moment of absolute fright. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he saw a ghost,” the deputy said, “the body was transferred to be examined by doctor. The woman remains in jail until an official cause of death is determined.

Case against Executioners continues to get stronger
By Jane Duran
Special Agent Rice Philips has announced that the case against the Executioners is strong and “iron clad.” The evidence against Earl Meeks and and Willa Hirsch is vast. One or both of them can be positively placed at the locations people went missing. Correspondence has been found at both of their homes where they mention their kills and future plans. With the case being strong already, the trial is expected to be held soon. “We want to close this chapter of our history,” said Agent Philips, “and we have all the evidence to ensure we can do so.”

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Outlaw captured in Strawberry
By Odell Clifton
A cowpoke wanted for multiple crimes including murder, horse theft, killing livestock, and mischief was spotted in Strawberry. The cowpoke is believed to have lived in the quiet town for weeks, successfully hiding from bounty hunters. Last week, several explosions rocked the quiet town, which drew the attention of investigators and bounty hunters alike. This week, one of those bounty hunters checked the morning bounties and noticed a poster looked like a town resident. The bounty hunter confronted the cowpoke, who raised both hands and did not resist the arrest. The outlaw was placed in jail and the bounty hunter left town with a bit more money than they came in with. However, lawmen report that the captured cowpoke managed to escape. It is unclear how it happened, but the jailed man managed to get ahold of the keys, unlocked the door, and then apparently quietly walked right out of the sheriff’s department before fleeing Strawberry. Their whereabouts are currently unknown.

Two men dead following failed attempt at heinous act
By Donna Deshner
The Saints Hotel is once again the focus of the public’s attention, but not in a good way. A woman was abducted by two men and taken into the hotel, according to witnesses brave enough to speak to me me but not enough to intervene. Unlike last week’s story, where a woman was killed in the hotel, the abductors would be the ones to lose their lives. Arnold Dunn, owner of the Saints Hotel, said that several moments after the men carried the woman upstairs, he heard an explosion. “I was on my way to call for the sheriff when I heard it,” Mr. Dunn said, “and so I hollered at the nearest deputy and ran back inside.” The deputy that responded confirmed that he heard Mr. Dunn yell for help, but says he ran toward the explosion alone. He arrived to find the woman sitting on a bed a bit groggy and the two men on the ground, dead. The woman was taken to the town doctor, who confirmed that she likely suffered from a ‘brain concussion’ as the result of her unique escape plan.

The woman managed to free herself from her bindings, and though still armed, opted for a riskier counter attack: she threw a stick of dynamite down. The dynamite was determined to be smaller, with less gunpowder than is typical. As a result, only minimal damage to the hotel occurred, but the two men were close enough to the explosion to die. “They probably collapsed in great pain first,” said the doctor, “then they likely were unable to breathe.” The woman recovered at the doctor’s office and was released two days after the incident.

Alligator culling has naturalists concerned
By Mathilde Orry
On Wednesday this week, several hunters set upon the bayou in what appeared to be an organized effort. Together they riled up the local alligator population, getting them to exit the water and sprint onto land. Once on land, they alligators were shot. After several hours, alligator carcasses started to pile up around the bayou, devoid of their head, paws, and skin. Though the culling of alligators was widespread, it was noted by witnesses that no hunter killed more than one alligator. “By the end you got a good idea of how many hunters there are in the Five States,” said a local, “must be hundreds of them, guess it ain’t surprising with not much else to do.”

Naturalists, including Harriet Davenport, were alarmed by the mass killing of alligators. “Alligators were once much larger than what we see today, but they were hunted and killed as trophies,” said Miss Davenport, “and now, already a desecrated species, man wants to make them fully extinct!” Several naturalists attempted to disrupt the hunters efforts, but to mixed results. While some hunters did give up, several naturalists were pushed into the mud. One naturalists thrown into the mud was attacked by an alligator, which had to be killed by their fellow naturalist. By the end of the day, over 200 hundred alligators were confirmed as dead.

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