Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
American wrestling event promises the largest spectacle ever seen!
By Rutherford X. Downing
The fledgling railroad town in Nevada is set to host a major wrestling event. Professional wrestling has been growing popularity across the United States and across the globe. Indeed, professional wrestling has been covered in this paper several times in the past. The sport pits two competitors against each other where they punch, grapple, and throw each other around until one can pin the other for a three count. Some wrestlers have even taken to wrestling bears for the pure spectacle of it. Indeed, President Abraham Lincoln was a wrestler himself. This weekend, WrestleMadness will be held in Nevada. A small railroad town will be hosting the event.
The location was chosen as a result of its proximity to the railroad and current state of development allowing the building of a large stadium to host the event in. WrestleMadness will be a two day event, with multiple world championships on the line. Among those scheduled to compete are American Evan Lewis, British wrestler James Rodda, and Frenchman the Colossus Paul Pons. Tickets are said to be sold out but event organizers encourage fans to show up for special moments with the wrestlers. Special exhibition matches will be held for free outside of the newly built arena and appearances by the wrestlers are scheduled as well. The event is expected to be a massive draw.
Photograph of bounty target ends search for missing man
By Jose Chavez
Jay Clum had been reported missing five years ago by his wife. Mr. Clum lived in California and had last been seen leaving a local saloon. A search had been conducted and the only report of Mr. Clum was a witness statement that he had seen him on a train. Mr. Clum’s family and friends were unable to explain why he would just leave, maintaining that he had to have been forced to board the train. The investigation was closed having found no evidence that Mr. Clum was abducted. Recently, an exhibit that featured photographs of captured men and women was put on display in California. One of the photographs was three men, bound and displayed outside of Tumbleweed, New Austin. They identified one of the men as Jay Clum.
According to official records, the many they identified as the missing Jay Clum was Jay Burnett. Jay Burnett was wanted for robbery and murder. His family is now working to be reunited with the man, though he remains in custody. Their time for a reunion is short, however, as he is scheduled to be executed in New Austin, where his crimes took place. The family’s request to delay the execution was delayed.
Cowpoke loses horse in an unexpected way
By Jane Duran
Adistraught cowpoke warned anyone who would listen to take proper care of their horse. “You have to check on their mind, keep ’em happy,” they said, “or they might…they might just leave you.” The cowpoke explained that they had been traveling and dismounted to investigate the area and pick some herbs. They had assumed the horse was right behind them but when they turned around to mount their horse, it was not there. “I whistled and heard my horse but couldn’t find them,” they said, “then I looked up and they were on the train tracks!” The cowpoke was panicked, realizing that there was no quick way to scale the mountain to get to the horse. With no way to guide the horse back, they hoped for the best. “I couldn’t hear a train coming, so figured I had some time,” they cowpoke explained, “so figured I could climb up steadily and it would all be ok.” However, they took a last look up through binoculars and watched in horror as the horse jumped.
The cowpoke said the horse was no sick and it had just eaten. They described the horse as healthy. Horse experts could not explain the behavior with certainty, but two explanations were offered. “It is possible the horse was agitated and nervous on the train tracks and fell when taking a misstep,” an expert explained, “it may be possible it was an intentional jump, maybe because it was confused, sick, or lacked connection with its owner.” The cowpoke remained distraught, saying, “I’ve a stable full of horses, but that one was my favorite.”
Revenue agents pounce on contract dispute that hints at illegal activity
By Odell Clifton
A dispute between two men in West Elizabeth has drawn the attention of Revenue agents. The dispute is between a two men, one labeled as a “distiller” and the other as a “delivery service provider.” The delivery man was hired by the distiller to deliver a wagon of “20 bottles of liquid, distilled.” The distiller claims the goods were not only delivered late, but the shipment was incomplete. The legal filing reads, “the deliverer took a longer route than necessary, and as a result lost two bottles, reducing the profitability of the trade.” The the legal dispute is ongoing, Revenue agents caught wind of the filing and became very interested in what was described as “liquid, distilled.”
Revenue agents arrived in Blackwater this week, where the deliverer lives. The agents refused to respond to any questions and the deliverer refused to answer their door. It is clear that the revenuers are operating under the impression that the distilled liquids being delivered were untaxed moonshine. Blackwater lawmen remained tense while the federal agents remained in town, but did not interfere with their investigation. As of press time, it is unclear of the alleged moonshiner was arrested.
Increased sightings of old traveler
By Adam Parvey
All over the Five States a stranger familiar to long time residents has been spotted with increased frequency. Known by different names such as the old man, the old stranger, and the old scavenger, the mysterious stranger is known to appear randomly at camps setup in the wilds of the Five States. The old man often asks for food or sometimes alcohol, with mixed reactions from residents. Some are generous, giving the old man what they ask for and some even offering them a place near the warm fire. The old man never overstays his welcome and as a result, very little is known about him. Many believe he is a spirit that rewards kindness. Others disagree.
“He is just a man,” said a federal lawman, “we have catalogued reports of the so called spirits and we have been able to see a pattern emerge.” Federal investigators, spurred to look into the reports due to the frequency of sightings, said that the old man’s appearances increase in the warmer months and decrease in the colder months. “A spirit would not be impacted by the weather, now would it?” the lawman asked, as if that settled it. Though it has been pointed out that the old man does appear during the colder months, walking around in snow wearing nothing but a pair of ripped up shorts. The increase in sightings recently does coincide with the return of much warmer weather, but many remain unconvinced that the old man is a mortal. “He returns to us now because of moral decline, he is returning to remind us to appreciate what we have,” a long time resident said, “a new time of peace is coming.”
Naturalists’ nightmare becomes real
By Van R. Seldon
New Hanover is known for its large and diverse animal population. From deer to cougar, elk to bison, and chipmunks to owls, and even a variety of fish. Naturalists spend a lot of time in the state to observe this wide variety of animal life. But this healthy animal population also draws hunters. The state is probably the most popular state for hunters. This week the number of hunters increased. For unknown reasons, on Thursday of this past week, hunters traveled the state killing animals indiscriminately. “I am not a fan of hunting, but I understand survival,” said a naturalist, “but this was different, these hunters were killing every animal they saw regardless of the animal’s health.” Animals are usually carefully chosen by hunters, preferring healthy animals that will provide plenty of meat and pristine pelts that can be sold to local butchers. Even small critters were hunted, despite not offering much food or monetary value.
There was a particular interest in Roanoke Ridge, near Annesburg. Several hunters were spotted in the region. Hunters staying in Annesburg said they were searching for cougars. Cougars are frequently spotted in the area but many hunters left disappointed. It is believed that the increase in human activity led to the cougars retreating into more remote areas. The sudden surge in hunting remains unexplained.
Hapless Bank Robbers Foiled in Saint Denis
By Aloysius Levron
In what may be one of the most bungled bank robberies in recent memory, three armed men attempted to flee the Lemoyne National Bank yesterday afternoon aboard a public trolley. The heist, which began with loud demands and poorly disguised masks, ended just six blocks away when the sluggish trolley was overtaken on foot by police and bystanders alike.
Witnesses say the robbers, two of whom were reportedly arguing loudly during the robbery, wasted precious time fumbling with the vault before making off with a modest satchel of coin and bearer bonds. Instead of fleeing on horseback or disappearing into the city’s winding alleys, the trio inexplicably boarded an eastbound streetcar, startling a car full of passengers. “They told the conductor to ‘step on it’, like it was some kind of stagecoach,” laughed one witness. “You could walk faster than that trolley.”
Police quickly caught wind of the absurd escape and jogged alongside the car until it reached a stop near Bastille Saloon, where the robbers were taken into custody without resistance. One attempted to blend in by reading a discarded newspaper but was betrayed by the sack of stolen money at his feet. Saint Denis police recovered the stolen goods, and while no injuries were reported, Saint Denis residents are still buzzing about the spectacle. As one officer remarked dryly, “If crime’s getting this clumsy, maybe we’ll finally get a quiet week.”
A Tale of Two Letters!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax – Lead Correspondent
A life can be altered in the blink of an eye, in a profound, or distressing manner. So much of our lives are dictated by the letters we send and receive, so therefore, it goes to show, that whoever controls our mail, controls our lives. We don’t think about it like that, since many just forget there is a middleman, until something goes wrong.
This week, a woman in the Ohio area received a letter. She was hoping it was notes on a book she had been writing. Instead, it was a brief condolence letter, describing how her mother had died tragically. This woman was heartbroken, beside herself, destroyed. She wondered if she could keep on going; she had been so close to her mother.
The woman prepared to begin the process of burying family, when she received another letter the next day. It was the editor’s notes, alongside it was a smaller letter saying, we had sent the wrong letter.
This woman in Ohio experienced the strongest mood swing imaginable; sadness and fear turned to joy and happiness, her mother was alive and well. How did this mistake occur, and who was meant to receive that condolence letter? We do not know. We do know however, that this one minor incident in the grand scheme of life, shows just how much a mailman can affect our lives.
The Five States Herald 