Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Despite widespread news of neglect, the Five States continues to draw new visitors
By Nick McCrary
It is no secret that the powers that be in the Five States have no interest in further development. A recent petition has been going around the region to bring attention to the fact that the Five States is still a thriving region. Folks who love the area are determined to not let the region slip into history completely forgotten. Indeed, every day, new folks come into the Five States to earn a living. “I’ve heard many things, the land forgotten to time or how nobody wants to invest here,” said one newcomer, “but the area is beautiful and in truth, there is a lot to do for someone new like me.” With authorities focusing elsewhere, there is no shortage of outlaws and villains in the Five States. This means that despite little in investment and jobs development, there is still plenty of work for those willing to sling a gun. Bounty hunting remains popular, as it is often the first job newcomers go to after establishing themselves in the Five States.
Wild life continues to be abundant, leaving room for new traders to hunt and sell furs and animal products. The region is also said to be home to so much hidden treasure that collectors of rare items flock to the Five States. Though it may never expand and may indeed be forgotten in time, there are still plenty of opportunities in the Five States for newcomers. And that has offered even long time residents of the Five States a new job: mentorship. Many old hands have offered newcomers assistance by taking them on deliveries, showing them the best hunting locations, or even training them in the art of bounty hunting. The Five States may not have a bright future, but it has a future nevertheless.
Gunfight takes over Tumbleweed
By Jose Chavez
Sheriff Sam Freeman and several deputies had to retreat from Tumbleweed this week when a massive gunfight broke out. Witnesses say two groups of folks entered Tumbleweed, one wearing red sashes and the other blue sashes. Deputies tried to warn them that they would not put up with any trouble, but the warning had no effect. “They just started shooting,” said one deputy, “and it seemed like there was no end in sight.” Deputies began moving townsfolk to safe locations, eventually exiting the town. “We had to retreat, for the safety of the Tumbleweed residents,” said Sheriff Freeman. Once out of town and safe, the deputies and Sheriff Freeman watched the situation from afar. They described a showdown of sorts. “It seemed like there was no end to ’em,” said one deputy, “they just kept shooting each other and fighting, red sashes against the blue sashes.”
The shooting eventually stopped. “I observed through my scope that the red sashes won and were taking photographs with the dead bodies of the blue sashes,” said a deputy. The deputies were able to get everyone back into town safely soon after that. Some glass had been shot out and there were a lot more bullet holes in walls than before, but the shooters were all gone. “We didn’t even find a dead body,” said one deputy. It is unclear why the fight started or what it was over, but townsfolk were happy it was over.
Executioner related arrest was actually two people!
By Jane Duran
Authorities have finally announced the arrest of a new suspect in the Executioner case. In a surprising twist, the official announcement made clear that two people were arrested. “For the time being, we are keeping their identities anonymous,” said one of the investigators, “however, we can say that we arrested a two people in relation to the Executioner case.” They explained further that it is a man and woman pair, though investigators did not clarify if the two are in a relationship other than to say they are not married to each other. “As a pair, they were able to confuse authorities for awhile,” admitted Special Agent Rice Philips, “but as a pair, a man and a woman, the evidence aligns perfectly.”
Agent Philips explains that the man likely did the heavy lifting when necessary and could explain some of the larger victims being captured. Their personal motives were not mentioned, but investigators still believe infidelity is the primary motive. “Though we do not have a journal or anything to shed light on their purpose behind their mass murdering, we believe the commonality of infidelity still explains motive,” Agent Philips explained. The identity of both suspects will be confirmed soon as charges are issued officially.
Lawmen in Blackwater are praising an unknown hero
By Odell Clifton
An unidentified gunman opened fire in Blackwater this week, killing several residents. Blackwater Police responded to the shooter but were unable to bring them down. Blackwater Police Chief Oswald Dunbar explained that the shooter was a skilled gunslinger. “It didn’t matter how we approached, it was like we were moving in slow motion,” Chief Dunbar said, “they’d just glance at my policemen and then in a second, shoot them all dead!” The Chief made a plan to get to the Telegraph office to send off a request for back up, but intervention arrived on its own. A man rode into Blackwater and given the empty streets, became the shooters next target. The shooter missed however and paid the price when the newcomer pulled out a pistol and shot him dead in one shot.
Townsfolk came out cheering and policemen offered their own thanks. The town barber even offered his services for free. The body of the deceased shooter was tossed into the Flat Iron Lake. The Hero of Blackwater enjoyed free drinks and then left the town, riding toward Valentine.
Cowpoke survives mysterious flight
By Emery Cosberry
A strange sounded just north of Valentine drew the attention of several townsfolk. As folk were walking toward the sound to investigate, a bizarre thing happened: a cowpoke flew through the sky as if launched from a cannon. “I heard a scream and looked over and saw a body flying toward me,” a witness said, “the poor fella hit the stable and then flew another, I don’t know, 20 feet before landing.” The cowpoke was unconscious and carried into the doctor’s office. The doctor determined the cowpoke had hit their head during their flight, leading to their state of unconsciousness. The doctor observed several injuries, including cuts, scrapes, and a broken bone. All of these injuries could be explained by the flight witnesses described. The origin of the sound was never discovered and some believe it is linked to the flying cowpoke. “I don’t know what it was, but it did something to that poor cowpoke,” a witness said, “then disappeared, never to be found.” It is unknown if the cowpoke will regain consciousness, suggesting that we may never learn what happened to them.
Saint Denis Police are looking for a murderer
By Aloysius Levron
A man was murdered this week in Doyle’s Tavern. Witnesses say the murder victim entered the saloon and pulled out a pistol. Most of the patrons ignored the action. “I figured he was showing off a new gun modification,” said one patron, “so I paid them no mind.” Another patron, a mustached man in a dark hat wearing a bandoleer, was exiting and saw the gun pulled out and took immediate offense. “I watched that many just shoot the poor fellow dead!” a witness said, “all he did was show off his gun and he lost his life!” Other patrons scattered as the killer calmly walked out. The police presence in the area surrounding Doyle’s is significantly lower compared to other parts of the city. It took several minutes before police responded and the killer was already gone. “Though we understand that the deceased pulled out a gun and may have appeared threatening,” a policeman said, “we would like to talk to the killer, to determine if this was a case of self defense or murder.” One witness I spoke to believes it was all a misunderstanding. “I know, or knew, the victim and I will say, he was a bit… touched in the head,” the witness said, “likely was trying to wave but got confused and pulled out his gun and wasn’t given any time to explain.” The search for the killer continues.
Secretary of State to Resign!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax – Lead Correspondent
Although the conflict with Spain has ended for quite some time, diplomatic tensions with Spain and the lingering question of what to do with Cuba and the Philippines remain. President Alfred MacAlister has been steadfast in a harsh, everlasting peace, with plans to possibly annex those Spanish territories into the American sphere of influence.
Naturally, such plans have resulted in political backlash, and not just from the opposition party. Several cabinet members have expressed concern over taking territories that wish to be made independent, none more so than Secretary of State John C Night.
Night is a strong proponent of a softer peace deal, allowing Cuba and the Philippines to vote on whether they remain with Spain, become independent, or become American Territories. He has pushed back hard on MacAlister’s plans.
As of today, he no longer holds a job. He resigned today, whether in protest or because the president no longer believes he is of value to the administration. Who will replace him is an open question. The fate of Cuba and the Philippines hangs in the balance, to put it mildly. It seems the ghosts of the USS Lewiston continue to haunt this administration, long after they left this mortal plain.
The Five States Herald 