Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Five States removals slow down
By Nick McCrary
For several weeks Five States residents reported being kicked out of the Five States. Authorities traveled across the Five States and removed several residents who emigrated from Pawnee County. While many of the removed cowpokes had justifiable removals, several claimed to be innocent. “I ain’t ever broke any rule,” said one removed cowpoke, “but my petition still hasn’t been answered.” Several cowpokes are similarly waiting for their petition to have their case reviewed to be answered. While cowpokes are frustrated with the lack of transparency regarding the removals, they have finally slowed down. Fewer cowpokes are reported being removed from the Five States.
Authorities are not commenting on pending reviews or the slow down in removals. That the removals are slowing down suggests that authorities have shifted their focus elsewhere. Many have reported that the Five States is a more peaceful place after the removals. However, others report just as much hostile and unexplained activity, which suggests some people who should have been removed but were not. Authorities are not commenting on outlaws who escaped the purge.
Death over tarot card
By Jose Chavez
A killing was reported this week in Tumbleweed, though the circumstances were a bit strange. A man rode into Tumbleweed with the dead mad on his horse. Several deputies raised their sidearms but the man raises his hands to show he meant no threat. He got off his horse and pulled the man off, throwing him to the ground he said, “I killed this man, but it was in self defense.” The man did not resist as deputies surrounded him and walked him into the office of Sheriff Sam Freeman. The man explained that he had noticed a rare tarot card from no longer produced set. As he walked toward the card another cowpoke rode up.
“I figured I saw it first, so I grabbed it,” the man said, “but then I was attacked, man strangled me from behind.” The man then explained he fought off his attacker and shot him dead. “I brought his body in because…well, I am sure somebody will want closure,” the man said, “and I defended myself, so I did nothing wrong.” There was no evidence to support the man’s claims, however, Sheriff Freeman accepted them at face value. “I’ve never seen a murderer bring their victim into a proper law and order town like Tumbleweed,” Sheriff Freeman said, “seemed like a good man, so gave him the benefit of the doubt.”
Message sent to Executioner investigators
By Jane Duran
A dead body was found in Cattail Pond this week. The victim was male and killed by a gunshot to the back of the head. Though the victim has yet to be identified, authorities are confident that this is yet another victim of the Executioner. That confidence stems from the unique way this body was found. The victim’s body was completely naked in the shallow pond and their clothes were neatly piled near the road. Folded in the pocket of the man’s pants was a short note. Lead investigator, Special Agent Rice Philips, is not releasing the contents of the note. However, I learned of what was written from my anonymous source.
Behold this man, if you can call him that. He cheated and lied and took for granted the life he had. He thought she had no escape. But she had me. – W
No witnesses saw the body dumped. In fact, the man who found the body said it was the pile of clothes that drew his attention. According to my source, this body is being interpreted as a bold message. “The killer, whoever it is, is taunting us now,” my source said, “the killings are just part of a statement and now they are ready to deliver.”
Killing in Blackwater ruled justified
By Odell Clifton
Two cowpokes were released from custody in Blackwater just moments after they were arrested. A Blackwater Policeman arrested the two after hearing gunshots and finding the pair shooting at a body on the floor. “The one on the floor was dead,” said the policeman, “but certainly killed recently.” The cowpokes admitted to killing the man but both claimed they were acting in the defense of another: a poor dog that found itself the unfortunate victim of aggression. According to the cowpokes’ stories, they both spotted a man outside of the town post office who attacked a dog with a knife. The dog ran and the attacker chased it.
The two cowpokes chased the attacker however and shot him dead before he could harm the dog further. The dog was wounded in the attack but is expected to heal up just fine. Several witnesses validated the story and the Chief of the Blackwater Police Oswald Dunbar released the men. One of the men who acted to save the dog kept silent, while the other had one thing to say of the man he helped kill, “some people have no souls…”
Gravediggers Cannot Be Trusted!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
You may ride past them on a quiet morning or evening, not even noticing they existed. A man with a shovel is digging a hole near some graves; you don’t need to be told what he’s doing. The humble gravedigger, a profession known to many, because it is inevitable. Of course, it sometimes comes a lot quicker than you expect.
Recently, a gravedigger in the town of Valentine was arrested by the local sheriff. The charge was multiple homicides across a span of years. The man was given no name, just called Burke, probably after the infamous Scottish criminal.
Burke would travel the countryside, finding employment as a gravedigger, and every so often kill people. Maybe it was someone he didn’t like, perhaps it was over money, we don’t know. Burke would bury the remains either in an open grave he dug, or under the open grave. He’d eventually move on, and the cycle would repeat.
It has led to an unfortunate question: can we trust gravediggers on principle? We cannot; no standards exist for who can or cannot become a digger. We must change these rules; otherwise, we will never be able to trust a man of this profession at first glance.
Rhodes nearly burns down!
By Mathilde Orry
A fire nearly claimed the Lemoyne town of Rhodes this week. The cause of the fire is unknown. It also happened extremely quickly. “I had just secured my bounty hunter’s license when the fire started,” said a new bounty hunter, “my new horse died, which I sunk all my savings into!” Screams for help were heard from the town gunshop, but Jasper Feeney, the town gunsmith, said all was well. He locked his building, saying, “I don’t need help, I got it all taken care of here!” Customers in the general store pitched in to help fire fighting efforts. They were given buckets, gathering water from any source they could, including a few wagon runs to Flat Iron Lake. It was fortunate that recent weather left the wooden buildings less dry than usual, which slowed down the fire’s progress.
Within minutes the entire town was pitching in together to put an end to the blaze. The fire lasted for nearly an hour, though no structural damage was reported. In fact, the damage was limited to surface damage, which was easily repaired. By the end of the day the town looked like it did before the fire, which astonished even the townsfolk. “We worked hard, you understand, sanding and painting and such,” said one resident, “but still, to completely finish the town before nightfall, seemed, odd.” Before the townsfolk began trying to collectively answer how they repaired the entire town in a day, the local saloon offered free drinks. Nothing distracts folks from existential questions quite like alcohol. By the next day, few in town remembered anything about the incident at all.
Region-wide gold nugget bonus program comes under scrutiny
By Humphrey Harker
Little has changed in the Five States for what seems like forever. Once upon a time the future was an optimistic topic amongst Five States residents. Today, however, the future seems bleak. The powers that be seemed to have forgotten about the Five States as the region is left behind as the world moves forward. Investments have been prioritized elsewhere and a token amount of support is given to the Five States. One of the few ways the region’s state governments entice economic activity is through gold nugget bonuses. Every day new bonus opportunities are posted for cowpokes to undertake. Successful completion of a listed task earns them a small amount of gold nuggets. However, this week, the tasks lists are being posted but the payouts are not coming for everyone.
Several cowpokes have complained that gold nuggets are being withheld after they complete particular tasks. The agents tasked with distributing the gold nuggets are denying the accusations, instead blaming the residents themselves. “If I don’t have a record of the task being completed, I cannot in good faith give them gold nuggets,” said Claude Rogers, “so perhaps they should keep better records of their exploits.” Though some cowpokes have reported no issues at all, the problem is widespread enough for Claude Rogers to enlist the services of body guards. “I showed him my records, I keep them detailed, showed that I completed a proper supply run,” said one cowpoke, “but he just laughed and said to try again.” Few people had anything nice to say about Claude Rogers, with one cowpoke putting it succinctly,”Mr. Rogers ain’t so friendly.”
Intelligence Department Required With All Due Haste!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Much as the world would not like to admit it, Reconstruction was a failure. It was given up in the 1870s, and it’s clear the progress made during this timeframe is fading away. Many people point fingers at post-Civil War presidents or generals not willing to do a complete occupation of the South. One individual thinks we just went about it the wrong way.
An up-and-coming officer in the US Army who goes by the nickname Wild Bill sat for an interview in a New York paper. He believes the issue was not that we weren’t harsh enough with the occupation, but it was a matter of intelligence failures.
He says that while spy networks exist for the Union Army, they are often inexperienced and don’t share information easily. Wild Bill feels that if a department had been formed with intelligence gathering as its primary focus, it could have turned the tide.
This “Intelligence Department” would have been used to gather information on former Confederates, outlaws, politicians, and other individuals who would have contributed to a decline in the power of Reconstruction. We didn’t need to kill the South, just specific individuals.
The interview has been much discussed; some members of the MacAlister Administration have looked into forming such an organization, others have balked at how many constitutional violations such a department would cause.
I don’t know if it would have worked; I just know Reconstruction failed, and that’s unfortunately good enough for me.
American-born British mountaineer prepares to ascend Cerra Aconcagua
By Ivy Seager
Edward FitzGerald is leading a British mountain climbing team this weekend. The team plans to ascend Cerra Aconcagua, a mountain in Argentina. The mountain has an elevation of over 22,000 feet. Mr. FitzGerald is of British descent but was born in America in 1871. Mr. FitzGerald has traveled international mountains extensively, having finished a hike through the Alps in in 1894 and Mount Cook in New Zealand in 1895.
For the last couple of years Mr. FitzGerald has been traveling in South America, preparing for the Cerra Aconcagua expedition. The expedition years in the making is about to get underway. Mr. FitzGerald plans to start the ascent up the mountain tomorrow.
The Five States Herald 