Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
‘Coal Killer’ caught, but escapes police custody
By Adam Parvey
Saint Denis police arrested a man on a rooftop who fit the description of the ‘Coal Killer,’ a man who has been killing people with a bad reputation and leaving a lump of coal in their chest pocket. A citizen saw the man and shouted for help. A nearby policeman heard the call and saw the man on the rooftop and blew his whistle. The man, who was wearing a red suit and had a large white beard, ran as Saint Denis policemen began firing their guns at him. As the chase continued more policemen joined the chase. Residents reported lots of shouting and whistle blowing until the man fell off the rooftop. As the alleged Coal Killer got up from the fall, he had several policemen surrounding him.
Witnesses say the Coal Killer put up no resistance. “I was quite surprised because he just let out deep, booming, ‘ho, ho, ho,'” said one resident, “and he seemed pretty friendly as he was put in the police wagon.” So it was that on Christmas Eve at 1am, the Saint Denis police escorted an alleged killing who looked like Santa Claus through the city toward the jail. “Everything was loud, so kids woke up and cried when they saw who they thought was Santa Claus arrested,” said another resident. The chaos and confusion led to several residents coming out into the cold and filling the streets, slowing down the police procession.
The air was soon filled with Christmas carols. “Folks misunderstood what was happening, we arrested a man who fit the description of the Coal Killer,” said one Saint Denis Policeman, “but folks thought we arrested Kris Kringle himself.” The confusion became even greater, however, when the procession finally reached the Saint Denis Police Department. “I opened the wagon and, well, he was gone,” said another policeman, “I saw him in there but, he was gone when I opened the door.” The sound of bells filled the air and a snow storm started. Residents hurried home.
No other sightings of the alleged Coal Killer were reported that night.
Man survives fall from bridge
By Jose Chavez
A traveler did not hesitate when began crossing a bridge, never second guessing its safety. However, the bridge was not safe and broke while the traveler crossed it. Though they survived the fall, they were not unscathed. “I… well, you won’t believe this but, I don’t recall the fall,” the traveler said, “I do recall being on an island though!” The traveler explained in vivid detail a tropical island, including seeing a bird with red feet. The traveler said they walked all around the island, hunting animals and cooking meals they never ate before.
Just as the traveler was starting to enjoy their time on the island, they felt a slap on the face. “I opened my eyes and there was a stranger above me, asking if I was okay,” the traveler said. As the man regained consciousness, he expressed a great deal of confusion. “Poor guy didn’t even remember falling off the bridge,” said the person who found them, “but he got real upset once he saw his horse was dead.” The man was taken to Tumbleweed, where he rested and fully recovered.
State government shocked at let over gold nuggets from travel incentive fund
By Jane Duran
The Ambarino state government announced that a travel incentive fund meant to encourage people to hike to the peak of Mt. Hagen has gone mostly unused. “Mt. Hagen is a beautiful location,” the state government announced in a press release, “yet, few people go to the mountain due to the danger that surrounds it.” In the past, such travel bonuses have worked to bring more people to the tall peak. However, those same bonuses also result in more deaths on the mountain. It seems most folks in the Five States have realized the danger around Mt. Hagen and have decided gold nuggets are not worth the mortal risk being taken to climb said mountain. Ambarino authorities are both disappointed and concerned about future travel to the mountain.
Great Plains Sniper makes a surprising return
By Odell Clifton
Residents of Blackwater were treated to a scene right out of a dime novel. A wagon pulled up to the Blackwater Saloon and as soon as the driver got off the wagon, agents of the Bureau of Internal Revenue walked out of several nearby buildings with guns aimed. A couple other bootleggers showed up on horse back and quickly fired on the agents. The wagon driver jumped back on the wagon and fled the city. The agents followed him out of the town. Blackwater residents took cover as bullets flew across the town.
A loud gunshot was heard and one of the revenue agents fell off their horse. Then another shot and another fallen agent. Then another and another and another. One of the remaining agents yelled out, “sniper!” and then they scattered, taking cover. The moonshiners managed to escape. Though it is not confirmed, it is believed the shooter was the Great Plains Sniper. Though the Sniper has not been seen in awhile it stands to reason it was them. As it took place near the Great Plains and the target was revenue agents.
Cruelty at the Hands of the Law
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
You’re always told, even when you’re a child, to behave, or there will be trouble. It’s easy to say, but what is ideal behavior isn’t always apparent; perhaps sometimes it’s not even possible, because the person giving out the punishment deemed you not worthy.
Lately, there have been talks about the efficiency of police forces in the Five States, specifically Saint-Denis. Corruption is a common point of discussion, but I feel the cruelty they frequently display is not talked about enough.
On numerous occasions, a minor crime such as a bar brawl or a pickpocket is savagely beaten to the point of near death, in broad daylight even. Guns are frequently drawn, resulting in unnecessary shootouts with cowpokes, and even civilians getting shot by accident. Not to mention, such tactics are used several times more often on colored folks for no conceivable reason beyond racial animosity.
Not that local sheriffs in places like Valentine are much better, but the scale in Saint-Denis cannot be overlooked. Chief Lambert either dismisses all criticism or denies they happen; locals are frustrated but can do nothing. I wish it were as simple as, bringing it up will change the situation. I fear there is little you or I can do about this, only acknowledge it as a problem and hope for the best.
Man killed for animal abuse in Valentine
By Donna Deshner
A mad man was spotted in Valentine brutally stabbing a horse. The horse was tied to a post and could not escape the man’s violence. A Good Samaritan showed up, however, and ended the violence. “I ain’t much of a shooter or fighter, so I had to watch, gathering details to file a report with the Sheriff,” said one resident, “but this other fella came up and killed the mad stabber.” The gunshots immediately brought out local deputies who quickly attempted to detain the shooter. Witnesses quickly came to his defense, explaining the situation. The wounded horse was taken to the town stable and received treatment. Though the horse is expected to carry the scars of the attack for the rest of its life, it will survive to live another day.
Saint Denis criminal protests prison sentence in Tumbleweed
By Emeline Vickroy
An outlaw who spent most of their time in Saint Denis now lives in Tumbleweed, though they did not make that choice. They were wanted for various crimes including vandalism, assault, theft, and murder. Though most of his crimes were committed in Saint Denis. The outlaw had a lawful bounty placed on them and they were captured while in Saint Denis. The outlaw protested when he was transferred to Tumbleweed. “This outlaw is a bit soft, you see, taking advantage of fancy folk who can’t defend themselves right,” said Saint Denis Chief of Police Benjamin Lambert, “so I sent him to a friend of mine, Sheriff Freeman of Tumbleweed.” Sheriff Freeman was more than happy to take the man. “He wasn’t happy that he woke up in my jail and more than a bit confused,” Sheriff Freeman said, “but he ain’t going nowhere anytime soon.”
Youthful Miller to take Broadway by Storm
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Writers are among the most respected people in this nation and across the world, hell you’re reading the works of a writer right now. Broadway, above all, is something everyone wants to work on in the entertainment industry, but it’s quite a steep climb. Numerous talented individuals don’t even get a shot; sometimes, they fail that shot. Well, there’s an up-and-coming writer who is confident she won’t miss that shot.
She prefers to go by the pen name Youthful Miller, and she has her first play set to debut in a week’s time. The West is Red is the title, a story about the frontier and its colorful characters; the Five States is even included! There will be romance, violence, and songs, so says the writer.
She would be among the first female writers to work on Broadway if successful. Many women already dance and sing on the wicked stage, but few have written on it. This will also be among the first Broadway shows about the American West, which will surely be the first of many if it performs well.
Much is riding on this play, and you’d think the Youthful Miller would be nervous beyond belief, but she’s okay; why worry about something out of your control, she says. As good an attitude as I’ve ever seen.
Brooklyn celebrates a new year and a special anniversary
By Frederick Vannesse
Brooklyn, New York has a long history as an independent town and for a time, a proper city. However, a year ago Brooklyn ceased being a city in its own right and became a borough of New York City. Brooklyn’s ties to New York City became stronger in 1883, when the Brooklyn Bridge was completed and connected the two cities. This development created a new opportunity for Brooklyn and the city chose New York City to become a part of. The last mayor of Brooklyn was Frederick W. Wurster. While not all Brooklyn residents were happy with the change, it moved forward anyway. The repercussions of the merger are likely years away from being felt, but many are starting to become more optimistic. But perhaps, that is just because another new year is among us.
Confusion across the globe as the year comes to an end
By Ivy Seager
Today is the end of yet another year. The optimism of a new year, however, has been overtaken by confusion. Folks across the world have forgotten what year it is. “I can’t wait for 1899 to end,” said one person, “1900, wow, a new century!” Yet, celebrations all over the world have signs that say ‘Goodbye 1898. Hello 1899!’ Still others thought we were already in the 1900s. So what year is it? I have it on good authority that we are still in 1898. But that brings up more questions than answers. The Herald itself was founded in 1898 and has over 200 issues and has existed, well felt like it has existed anyway, for four years! So perhaps the real question is, has time moved on at all? Will a new year ever come?
The Five States Herald 