‘Coal Killer’ strikes Tumbleweed
By Jose Chavez
A former mine foreman was found dead this week in his Tumbleweed home. The Austin Bridwell started as a miner himself before becoming a foreman due to his ability to motivate his fellow workers. Miners under Mr. Bridwell had produced more ore than other miners, helping him move up the chain of power quickly. It was only discovered later that Mr. Bridwell’s tactics were beyond questionable. According to miners that worked for Mr. Bridwell, he used threats against their families to encourage them to work harder. “Ain’t nobody cared about us miners, so it didn’t matter if we complained,” a former miner under Mr. Bridwell said, “so we had to take it if we wanted to get paid.” Another motivating factor for miners was that Mr. Bridwell’s actions would sometimes benefit them. “I wanted to transfer, but it wasn’t just our hard work that had us outproducing others,” said the miner, who asked to be kept anonymous, “Bridwell would steal product from other teams and claim our team mined it.” For all of the threats, the miners benefited from this arrangement so they accepted it.

“He did start using us to steal the ore, but still, we ate,” the miner said. The mine eventually closed and those rumors around Mr. Bridwell persisted, no legal action was ever taken. In fact, Mr. Bridwell had deteriorated from his formidable former self to an old, weak man. “Looking at him, it is hard to remember how fierce he once was,” said one Tumbleweed resident. A gunshot was heard in the middle of the night but a deputy did not see any sign of break in and assumed it was an accidental discharge. “He keeps to himself and cleans his guns often,” said the deputy, “wouldn’t be the first time he discharged his weapon by accident at an odd hour. Mr. Bridwell was shot through the heart and found with a lump of coal in his chest pocket. Nobody reported seeing anything odd, but several residents reported the sound of bells.

Revenuer found drunk and passed out at Cattail Pond
By Jane Duran
An agent for the Bureau of Internal Revenue has some explaining to do. This week, the agent was found passed out and drunk at Cattail Pond. The agent claimed to have been following up on a lead of a moonshine distilling operation in the area. “I found it, it was underground, beneath a damn shack!” the agent claimed, “inside there was a party going on, lots of folks, a band, and endless ‘shine.” The agent said an arrest was impossible so they stayed incognito in order to gather more information. Beyond that, his memory was foggy. “I, well I talked to folks and well, I had to take a drink or two so they didn’t catch on that I was a federal agent,” they said, “and I remember dancing, lots of dancing.” The only clear memory he has is the realization that his badge was gone. “I woke up because folks were poking me and reached for my gun, finding it was missing,” said the agent, “then I reached for my badge, but it was also missing.”

Eventually the agent made his report but the investigation turned up nothing. Several revenue agents investigated the shack and though it did have a basement, it was all empty. “We found no evidence of a moonshine still or any alcohol in the shack,” the Bureau said, “we did find our agent to be intoxicated and in possession of illegal moonshine bottles, so we arrested him.” The agent claimed that he was set up by the moonshiners.

Showman passes out in Blackwater
By Odell Clifton
Roderick Patter is a showman who travels the country putting on spectacles for those eager to pay to see someone do something foolish. This week Mr. Patter arrived in Blackwater with a promise to smoke 100 cigarettes in 100 seconds. Residents of Blackwater scoffed at Mr. Patter. “I didn’t believe that he could do it, so I said it to him,” said one resident, “I said, that’s a cigarette per second, it’s impossible!” Word got around town and by 3:00PM over half of Blackwater came out to the pier to watch Mr. Patter smoke 100 cigarettes in 100 seconds. To their shock, Mr. Patter pulled out a round apparatus and starting putting cigarettes into it. “This is a special device you see,” said Mr. Patter, “I simply take a drag from this end and I’ll take a puff of each cigarette connected, allowing me to smoke multiple cigarettes at once!” Blackwater residents protested the device, saying it was not in the spirit of what he said he’d do. “Now, I never said I’d smoke each cigarette individually,” said Mr. Patter, “so I have misled nobody here today!”

While he was accused of cheating, people still said it was impossible. With a crow around him, Mr. Patter began lighting up the 100 cigarettes attached to his device and took the first puff. “That first one went well, he didn’t react at all, as if he only smoked a single cigarette,” said one resident, “then his eyes watered on the puff and then he coughed on he fourth.” Mr. Patter waved off the crowd and said it was all going according to plan. He rapidly took a few more puffs before staring into the crowd blankly and falling off the pier into the Flat Iron Lake. The cigarettes went out immediately in the water and a resident dove in to save Mr. Patter, who was unconscious when he was pulled from the water. Fortunately, Mr. Patter was still breathing and soon recovered. He boarded a ship and left the town eager to leave his embarrassment behind.

Deputy shot by bounty hunter following confusion
By Emery Cosberry
A bounty hunter is being held by the Valentine Sheriff for murdering a deputy in cold blood. Sheriff Curtis Malloy witnessed the entire incident. “This bounty hunter drops off a bounty, gets paid, everything goes as usual, “said Sheriff Malloy, “then things get weird, as if the man did not understand time.” The confrontation revolved around an advertised bonus for bounty hunters: two bounties in two real hours earns a bonus. The bounty hunter said it was an impossible challenge, that the Valentine Sheriff station was playing fast and loose with bounty hunter incentives. “How do you expect me to bring in a second bounty within the hour when I have to travel to another state to find him?” the bounty hunter asked. “I ain’t for knowing or caring,” said the deputy, “but wasting time arguing with me ain’t gonna help, besides it’s in one real hour, not one hour.” The bounty hunter roared back, “what does that mean? What is the damn difference between one hour and one real hour, you ain’t making sense!”

It was at that point that Sheriff Malloy decided to get involved and attempt to deescalate the situation. “I stood up to put this bounty hunter in their place, and that’s when it happened,” said Sheriff Malloy, “I heard the gunshot and saw my deputy fall.” The bounty hunter dropped his firearm as Sheriff Malloy pointed a pistol at him. “I.. I didn’t mean to he was speaking in damn riddles!” the bounty hunter said. “one hour, one real hour… I don’t understand!” Sheriff Malloy arrested the man. “He’ll be on a wagon to Sisika in a day or two,” said Sheriff Malloy, “we’ll take care of the deputy’s family, see that they are housed and fed still.” Sheriff Malloy had no comment regarding what a real hour is.

Fiery fight in Saint Denis
By Emeline Vickroy
A fight broken out in Saint Denis unlike any other. A man attacked another, according to witnesses. After the attack the man hogtied his victim, threw him on the train tracks, and then set him on fire. Witnesses screamed at the horror and depravity of such an attack in broad daylight. The victim, however, was not content to roll over and die. “I saw that poor chap squirming, thought it was due to the lick of the flame,” said one witness, “but soon it was obvious, he was working his way out of his rope bindings.” Whether through pure strength or due to the fire burning up the ropes, the victim freed themselves and charged at his attacker.

“He was on fire but full of life, pushing that fella into the wall and hitting him!” said a witness. Soon both men were on fire until they rolled on the ground, wrestling for control. The fire went out and then the victim grabbed his attacker and slammed his head into the wall, knocking him out. The victim walked away, the attacker never got back up. Later one, the body was reported to authorities who said the body was lifeless when they arrived. It is unclear when the man gave up the ghost, but based on witness statements his death is almost certainly the result of his own violent tendencies.

Five State Senators Debate Berne Convention
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
As my previous story undoubtedly noted, plagiarism is a common problem in the United States, from coast to coast.  A possible root cause of such issues is the enforcement of copyright, or lack thereof.  Oh, there are copyright laws in the US, but they aren’t exactly consistent, and internationally, it is another story altogether. 

It’s why 13 years ago, in the Swiss city of Berne, many nations met to arrange a new standard of law for copyright across the world.  The Berne Convention, as it was called, was an agreed-upon list of changes to copyright law for every nation to follow.  A majority of nations signed onto the agreement, but not a certain North American nation.

The leading argument for the United States not joining was fair use flexibility and fears the conference might stifle artistic creativity.  While being wary of copyright abuse is not unwarranted, it was a decision that was considered controversial in 1886, and remains so to this day.

So much so that several sitting senators in the Five States are inquiring if individual states can join the agreement.  It’s an argument unlikely to succeed, but it speaks to how many people think this convention is an improvement over current laws.  Perhaps one day, the US will join the Berne Convention; maybe it won’t.  But it’s difficult to stand still on a moving train, so to speak.  

Feminist newspaper founded in Paris
By Ivy Seager
Suffragettes in America are not alone in their fight for rights. The movement for equal rights for women is global. The La Fronde newspaper has been founded in Paris by Marguerite Durand, a feminist activist. Marguerite Durand became famous as an actress, however she gave up on that career when she married up and coming lawyer Georges Laguerre. Durand would then become focused on political issues as a journalist. Though the marriage would not last, Durand’s love of politics would. She would be hired by the newspaper Le Figaro, where she covered feminist issues. In 1896 she was sent as a correspondent to the International Feminist Congress. Though Durand was meant to cover the Feminist Congress in a humorous light, the even changed her. She become a devout feminist. The founding of La Fronde is meant to be the next step in the fight for women’s rights, focused on issues important to all women.

Previous Issue

Next Issue