Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Newspaper Writers Change History!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Few remember the tragedy of the USS Sultana. It’s a name barely echoed by this generation. As of now, it still resides as the worst maritime disaster in American History; I can only pray that the record is never broken. It was a ship that caught fire and exploded in the final days of the Civil War with numerous men aboard; 1167 died. But thanks to a writing duo, it might not be forgotten.
Two writers for the New York World, commonly called Matt and Max by readers, published a short story in the paper called The Odyssey of Sultana. It’s what we call an altered history tale. The story is about a secret mission in the 1870s authorized by the president to hunt down former Confederates still fighting the Civil War. The USS Sultana is the ship given to the soldiers to help transport them down the Mississippi. It ends with a small summary of the real story and asks the reader to remember the actual story.
The reader response was celebratory; the story is expected to be reprinted in next week’s paper, and there will be similar tales in the near future. It’s a curious thing to see fiction somehow teach people about real history. Regardless of how, I greatly respect the results.
Weather investigation yields no answers
By Jose Chavez
Meteorologists traveled to New Austin to evaluate its snowy weather. Desert snow may not be uncommon, but it should be impossible given its hot temperatures. Several meteorologists investigated the phenomena, measuring the temperature as well as monitoring the snow fall. “It seemed that the temperature and snow fall had no correlation,” said one meteorologist, “which is strange.” At points the temperature exceeded 100 degrees and yet snow remained frozen on the ground.
“Our first hypothesis was that the snow was, altered, perhaps by growing industry,” said one of the meteorologists. However, the snow was the same as any other snow. Their next hypothesis was that the temperature readings were in error, but multiple readings forced them to reject that hypothesis. In the end, they concluded it is a weather anomaly. “It’s almost as if, the weather turned snow on and didn’t know it shouldn’t snow in the heat,” one meteorologist said in frustration, “mother nature is… unpredictable.”
Woman found frozen to death
By Delphia Atwood
A wealthy resident of the Five States was found dead this week. She was only wearing her undergarments as snow fell heavily in the region. Friends of the deceased mentioned that just days before her body was found she had said she was leaving the Five States. After years in the region, she had made a great deal of cash money as well as gold. After announcing her departure she apparently rode north into the Grizzlies. The last person to have seen her is the traveling merchant Madam Nazar. “She saw me, sold me a few things, could have gotten more for full sets, but I took what she offered,” Madam Nazar said.
Her body was found just two days after she said she would leave the region. It is unclear why she was wearing only undergarments but investigators did say they saw now sign of a struggle. The going theory is she just made a poor choice of winter clothing and paid the highest price for it.
Local buyer nearly starts a war between traders
By Odell Clifton
Two traders showed up at the same buyer ready to sell, but the buyer was only prepared to buy from one of them. Both traders claim to have received and order from the buyer, though the buyer denies this. “I only put in orders for what I need,” said Platt Oakes, the buyer, “if they both thought they had what I needed, well the confusion is theirs because I never confirmed with anyone.” Both sellers said the buyer was full of shit, but neither wanted to forego the sell.
The buyer let the traders figure it out and they solved the issue the way many issues are solved in the Five States: a duel. The two traders stood back to back before walking several paces. When they turned around both pulled out their guns and fired. Both missed. The traders then both decided to not do business with the Mr. Oakes and started leave. This prompted Mr. Oakes to buy the goods from both traders. A happy ending, unless you are the buyer!
Nursing Continues to Advance!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
The profession of helping those who need help has always been seen as noble, but it has rarely been organized. For centuries, it was usually neglected to nuns or other religious institutes; they certainly believed in a good cause and did their best, but it was imperfect. Beginning in the 1850s, the profession rapidly changed into an organized training regime for civilian and military use. From Nightingale and Crimea came uniforms, training standards, nursing schools, and other advancements. In recent months, there has been serious talk that the US government might establish a military corps of army nurses for future conflicts.
Such organizations would be greatly appreciated, for conflicts continue to grow deadlier, and natural disasters continue to claim lives. It also has, shall we say, empowered certain groups and given once lofty ideas like the right to vote, a shot in the arm, so to speak.
The Five States, in particular, are in a sorry need for more nurses. Only Saint-Denis has any on staff at a given time, and while well trained, you can’t do much with a staff of under ten people when there are gun battles and disease always nearby. Hopefully, as the years progress, so too will the number of well-trained nurses, ready to assist and serve regardless of what lies ahead.
Newcomers learn a numbers advantage is not always enough
By Donna Deshner
A cowpoke identified as J. McGurn was attacked this week in Smithfield’s Saloon while enjoying a whiskey. The attack came from a group of three cowpokes that residents had never seen before. “They must have been new to town,” said one resident, “they walked in and instead of trying to enjoy themselves, they attacked that fella.” The victim managed to escape the beating and fled the saloon. The attackers remained, celebrating their victory. Moments later, however, their victory turned sour. “That fella they attacked came back, but with an equalizer,” a patron said. The victim returned with two pistols, killing two of the three quickly.
The third fled into a room, barricading himself there. Mr. McGurn was not sated, however. While he did take a pause to finish his bottle of whiskey, much of which had been spilled when he was attacked, McGurn soon made his way to the room his final attacker hid in. McGurn opened the door while stepping to the side, and predictably, a shotgun blast was fired from the room. Then McGurn quickly stepped back into the doorway and opened fire, killing the man. Local lawmen did not attempt to arrest McGurn, saying it was a clear cut case of self defense.
WANTED!
Investigators: Travel the Five States and report on what is going on.
Writers: Write the stories investigators find!
Photographers:
To take photographs to be used in the Herald.
Can also do all three!
Massive break in Executioner case
By Aloysius Levron
A letter received by the Saint Denis Police Department has she new light on the Executioner. Though Special Agent Rice Philips has ordered authorities to keep quiet on the letter, I learned about it through a contact before Agent Philips’ order. Moreover, freedom of the press matters in the U.S. and at the Herald, we refuse to back down to government threats. The letter comes from someone who claims to be the Executioner themselves. In the letter, the writer details their motive. In and exclusive, we have an excerpt from a photograph my source managed to take.
Assumptions. That is why I do this. Because assumptions have ruined our world and force some of us into small little boxes that we cannot escape. And worse, while we are in boxes those who put us there assume they can just do anything they want. That we will learn the truth and just accept it because without them, well, who will hold the box together? How frightened they assume we will be and so we will just suck it up. The sad part is they are not wrong. I have seen it time and time again, folks like me allowing themselves to be walked all over for fear of starting over. So, it falls on me to make a difference. It falls on me to be the punishment. It falls on me to be the Executioner. Yeah, I know the name I have been labeled with. It is fitting, I admit. Though what I plan to execute is not just unfaithful men who think they run the world. It is the whole damn patriarchy. Someday.
Though Special Agent Philips has not confirmed it, my source said many at the Saint Denis Police Department now believe the Executioner to be a woman. “The mention of patriarchy seemed to align with the women’s suffrage movement,” said my source, “and the paper smelled of a sweet perfume.” Some of the information we do know supports this theory. The targets have been unfaithful men, a target one might expect from a female serial killer who had been cheated on. A sighting of the Executioner dumping a body described them as a ‘small framed man.’ The idea of them being a man could have influenced the witness to think it was one. My source even suggested that a woman is the ideal killer in this situation. “If these men are unfaithful already, well, then, a woman killer can easily lure them into a vulnerable position,” my source said.
Special Agent Rice Philips refused to comment for this story. Police Chief Benjamin Lambert did defend his policemen preemptively. “I know feds often want to cast local lawmen as incompetent, so before that happens, I will say this,” Chief Lambert said, “the letter mentioned things that have never been made public, such as… well, body parts that were no longer on the victim’s body.” While he did not specify what body part that was, one can use their imagination. And if the letter writer knew, it is hard to believe it could have been written by anyone else.
Governments of the Five Starts said to be most responsive to their residents
By Lucien Privett
And end of year report was released about the various states that make up the United States of America. The report was analyzing how democratic each state is. Or put another way, how responsive each state is to the people that call that state home. In a shocking twist, the top five states for being responsive to residents are those states that make up the Five States. The report reads, in part, “though each of the states in the Five States already have an established history, their governments remain attentive to the needs of residents. Like good parents, these governments have continued to nurture their states and have seen strong growth as a result.” While the governments of the Five States are citing the report as often as they can, actual residents are a bit shocked.
“I honestly can’t remember the last time the government has listened to anything we said,” said a resident of New Hanover, “folks still disrupting others, can’t travel far without an outlaw blowing you up or shooting you, and ain’t not economic growth or opportunity.” In fact, there was not a single person I spoke to who felt the governments of the Five States deserved to place so highly on the list. “The Five States are great, I love the area and the general freedom we have here,” said one resident, “but I won’t pretend that the governments here are attentive to the people or care one bit about our struggles.” The Agency for Responsive Governments, who issued the report, denied our request for a comment. Why the Five States were rated so highly will remain a mystery.
Woman’s bicycle race to start tomorrow
By Frederick Vannesse
A bicycle race unlike others will kick off tomorrow. The so called Six Days of New York is a race that starts in Madison Square Garden and as the name implies, lasts a total of six days. This race will be all female cyclists. For six days, cyclists will travel over 2,000 miles across New York City. Each night cyclists will have the opportunity to rest, eat, and replenish their energy before resuming the race. The Six Days of New York is inspired by European races, where cycling is quite popular. This will be the first time the six day race was held exclusively for women cyclists. Female athletes are excited for the opportunity to show their endurance off. It is unknown how many women will participate.
Ukrainian bacteriologist Wademar Haffkine celebrated one year after groundbreaking vaccine trial
By Ivy Seager
One year ago, Wademar Haffkine took one of the greatest risks he could have taken. For him, it was a risk that was worthwhile though. The risk was an agonizing death. The reward? The end of the plague. Haffkine become the first human trial for his plague vaccine. He worked on the vaccine after Bombay had been hit by a plague epidemic. One year later and his vaccine was proven a success. Quite the risk, but it was not Haffkine’s first risk. In fact, Haffkine administered a cholera vaccine on himself just a few years ago. However, his cholera vaccine did not receive widespread acceptance. So far, his plague vaccine is being received similarly. Healthcare authorities say cleanliness is sufficient to avoid the plague and a vaccine is unnecessary. Some say no tool should be turned a way, however. Haffkine said he will continue pursue vaccination, saying a preventive is better than a remedy.
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